1. "Whatever is worth growing at all is worth growing well. True. Growing well and growing perfectly are not synonymous. We aim for excellence, not perfection. I've removed many a rose that makes me look bad. 2. Study soil and exposure, and cultivate no more space than can be maintained in perfect order. Trans.: Don't bite off more than you can chew. See #1 on perfection. 3. Plant thickly; it is easier and more profitable to raise flowers than weeds. They didn't mulch. They applied manure in winter. The advice, brought up to date, is good. Open soil is an invitation to weeds. 4. Avoid stiffness and exact balancing; garden vases and garden flowers need not necessarily be used in pairs. True. 5. A flower is essentially feminine and demands attention as the price of its smiles. Nah. You can plant fussy plants or easy plants. Fussy plants are worth the trouble to some gardeners. Personally, I think it gets old. 6. Let there be harmony and beauty of colour. Magenta in any form is a discord that should never jar. Some like harmony, others like contrast. I like harmony, tho I don't have any issues with magenta in our bright sun. It's a problem for 5 minutes. 7. In studying colour objects, do not overlook white as a foil; white is the lens of the garden's eye. I suppose this works for some. White paint is a black hole for the gardener's time. I prefer natural wood. 8. Think twice and then still think before placing a tree, shrub, or plant in position. Think thrice before removing a specimen tree. Absolutely true. Know your plants. Trees add lots of value to homes unless they are 50 feet tall and within 20 feet of the house, in which case they are a big liability. Anyone priced tree removal of a 40 foot tree next to a house. 9. Grow an abundance of flowers for cutting; the bees and butterflies are not entitled to all the spoils. A matter of personal preference. I don't keep house plants, either. Keep on good terms with your neighbour; you may wish a large garden favour of him, some day. Always good advice. Love a flower in advance and plant something every year. Not a problem. Perennials by definition do no live very long. If they are long-lived, they are called shrubs. Show me a well-ordered garden and I will show you a genial home." A well-maintained garden is inviting. True enough.

Em, I'm sorry I am late getting back, but I'm very glad to hear that you've had no further contact from him. I hope he has gotten the message and moved on. I really think you need to let your dh know how very upset you have been over this and how it has really affected your well being. He probably saw it in a whole different light and never realized that you have been stressing about it in a big way. I think he needs to know exactly how you feel and how this other man has intruded in a manner that leaves you feeling extremely vulnerable. These days, especially, you have to be very cautious with anyone who continually makes inappropriate approaches without encouragement. Your dh isn't worried about you wanting to fool around, but that is completely beside the point. It isn't about YOU at all; it's the unknown of what is going on with someone who is playing mind games with you on your cell phone. That's scary and deserves support. My situation was entirely different but nevertheless gives me something of an understanding of how you must feel. Before the days of cell phones and caller ID, I began getting very frightening phone calls. It began as a "wrong number" call. The guy made some joking statements to which I responded jokingly as well and then we both hung up. But he called again, and again, and again. At first, it was light-hearted banter and I am sorry to say that I did not hang up immediately, but kind of enjoyed the chat. But it didn't stop and it got weirder. He made it clearer with every call that he knew exactly who I was. Gradually the tone shifted to a menacing one. I would walk in my house to hear the phone ringing and he would say, "Welcome home, Cheri! I'm going to get you soon," or something like that. There was always a threat to "get" me or something similar. I was petrified. If I didn't pick up the phone he would leave a message. If I shut off my answering machine, he would call and call and call. If I unplugged my phone, I felt so scared and vulnerable anyway, as it was obvious from the things he said that he knew when I left my house, came home, even where I went sometimes. He also knew how to play the game because I couldn't get anything done to stop him. The police refused to put the thing on my phone that would trace calls because he never made a specific threat to kill me (is that ludicrous????). The phone company recorded the calls but wouldn't trace them either for the same reason. They wouldn't change my number because they were recording the calls and even if I could have gotten them to change it, they were going to charge me a fortune to do so! Can you believe that? I was a single mother. My kids had to spend every other week with their dad, so most of these calls came when I was alone and most of them were at night. My ex was/is very capable of having orchestrated the whole thing and I suspect he may have been behind it, but I had absolutely no way to prove it. The voice was not his. It just stopped, finally, but after months of being terrorized, I had a very hard time getting over it. It seemed like an innocent thing at first, but it quickly escalated to something way out of my control. I was also a lot younger and had been pretty much...well, brutalized, I guess you could say, in my marriage, so I just didn't have the personal resources at that time to tackle such a situation. Predators sniff out the vulnerable, so the best thing to do if you can manage it is to not appear vulnerable! Sorry to say that I don't exactly know how that's done.

The experts say you can as long as you leave space between the plant and sides/top of the container for the Betta to swim to the top and breathe.Bettas are air breathers and will die if they can't get to the surface of the water to breathe.Remember also that they are carnivoures,not vegetarians and will not eat the plant roots.You have to feed them Beta food. I personally don't like to put the plants in the water with the Betta because I found it harder to keep the container clean.I'm posting a link to a Betta site that might help answer some of your questions. Here is a link that might be useful: Betta Talk

Love - You said "He said fine, he would have to leave work early, didn't want to "inconvenience me" yada yada." and "I asked him what made him say that and he just said "well, I can't leave work early today." WOW. So I guess in his MAN MIND that is his way of acknowleding that I wouldn't do it." The way I see it is this was his way of making you feel guilty for being a SAHM, but unwilling to help him out with his kid. Don't give in!!!! Be strong in that HE needs to do what HE needs to do for HIS kid, and it wouldn't have to be this way if the (in the words of Sweeby) bat-sh*t crazy b*tch hadn't come in your home and punched you. Pseudo said "....I guess my point was if he puts BM before you ... if you had a child with him where would he draw the line ...." This is totally what I have been thinking for a few months now, but could never get the courage up to say anything. Where will he draw the line? Your DD has already been subjected to so much from this woman, and he's not even her father! How much would he put a child of his own through? Example: my friend has a DD with her DH who has 2 DDs with a crazy BM. The DH is a SAHD to the little one (DD with my friend) and would take her with him to pick up the other DDs on his weekend. It became a habit that the BM wouldn't be home at p/u time and wouldn't answer her phone. He would wait around for them to return (afraid that if he left he wouldn't get to see his DDs). One time, the little DD was in the car and carseat for 4 hours while he tried to track them down and waited for them. 4 hours! My friend finally said "You can wait around for 4 hours if you want, but you will not have MY daughter sitting in a carseat for 4 hours while you sit in your car outside their home." Basically, he had no problems putting BM ahead of his new DD. Remember...the squeaky wheel gets the grease. You just have to start squeaking louder than her. Jupiter said "I think that they need to see their ex's as good mothers (even when they clearly are not) maybe to somehow reassure themselves for when they are with her." So, so, so, true. My DH knows BM is a back-stabbing liar. But then he says stuff like "well, BM says it's SD's decision and she asks her all the time if she wants to visit". So why would he believe that one statement when he's caught her in so may lies before? The only thing that makes sense is he NEEDS to believe she's a good mother. Jupiter also said "I too run into arguments where he lets her slide on things that he wouldn't with me..I try to give him the example that if it was anyone else in his life he would have told them to go to h#$% because normally in life you don't do favors for people who don't do for you let alone someone who puts him down as a father..." and Love said "But it just totally goes against DH's overall nature, which is so frustrating." This is the issue. Which personality is the REAL one? I have this same problem with DH and I'm starting to think the way he is with HER is his personality when he's vulnerable and that scares the crap out of me because I guess I rarely ever see him vulnerable. I agree with FD. When I am flexible and accommodating with X, it is usually in the best interest of DS, and I do the work. I rarely (if ever) ask DH to do anything for DS, although he would be willing, because I feel like DS is my sole responsibility since I am the parent.