It's always helpful to have a very open mind in any forum situation. You have to remember the wide variety of people who gather here, and some people have different views and different ways of expressing those views. It's easy to get down when someone criticizes your ideas (especially when it's done bluntly, harshly, or perhaps even rudely), but if you are close-minded, if you walk away in disgust (and we all know that some people have), there's a lot of which you'll be missing out.

This forum isn't really one which views everyone's work as being beautiful, amazing, and thank-you-for-sharing. We can applaud the effort yet criticize the forethought, design, and execution at the same time. If you separate the criticism of your work (good, what we aim for) from criticism of yourself (bad, usually rare), you'll fare well.

Finally, having a good sense of humour always helps, especially at diffusing tense situations.

- Audric

You're certainly off to a good start. Reading other people's posts is a good way to learn some possible answers to questions you never even thought of asking. Doing a search is also a good idea, as is doing some research at the library and on the web before asking your questions. This indicates that you are at least trying to learn something, and not expecting someone to do the work for you. It also means your question can be more specific.

Saying you need landscaping will get you very little useful information. Saying you are working an a plan, have come up with such-and-such so far on your own, and want to know if you are on the right track or if you can improve it, will get you specific suggestions. Also, people will see that you are trying, and will be more willing to spend time trying to help you.

Be gracious even if you don't care for someone's suggestions. There are all levels of expertise here, from beginners to professionals, and you will get both very bad and very good advice. You'll need to learn to figure out which is which, but everyone is doing the best they can.

Try not to be too sensitive to blunt criticism or wierd humor, and stick around, because there is a lot to be learned if you do.

Welcome!
Jo

Hello and welcome,
I've lurked here (posting occassionally) for a couple of years and have learned so much by reading old posts. Some of the most valuable (for me) are posts by newbies who are totally open to constructive criticism.

If you do a search on "reacommended reading", you'll find references to some excellent books that will help you get started. Many are available at the library, most are available from half.com or amazon. I'm slowing building a small collection of landscape design books.

Saypoint (as usual) is right on. You should be aware that this forum is very different from the home dec forum. On that forum, if someone posts a photo, everyone will praise them. On this forum, the OP is likely to get objective responses (that may or may not be tactful).

I'm really really happy to hear you're reading old posts. There is some great stuff, and some of the best is in the oldest pages, dating from a time when the forum dynamic was particularly good.

There is one thread on the last page (one with 52 replies) that illustrates a common problem that arises again from time to time - the OP asks for suggestions, and then has a reason why none of them are what s/he wanted. To a limited extent this can help to zoom in on a solution, but when all solutions are nixed... ah, sometimes you should just say thank you and move on. Chiding the forum if it doesn't give you the answers you like is always a big hit too (not :-)). Although a poster is certainly always welcome to clarify the problem.

Otherwise I can't add much to what's been said so far. Well, maybe one thing, that seems so obvious I hardly believe it has to be said: if you post a question, don't forget to stay in the conversation!

KarinL

Thanks for all the feedback!

Audric, I can definitely be open minded and I have a pretty good sense of humor (a bit on the dry side.) I have no problem with criticism. I want help, not a pat on the back. (Or a ...."well, that's nice, but a little different.") Reading the past posts, I have noticed some of the blunt feedback. LOL.

Jo, thanks for bringing up the issue on being specific. Good to know. Believe me, if I ask for help, I will definitely be engaged and gracious for any help.

grandma, I will look into the recommended reading. I have lots of magazines that I have saved for years. Many books, too. I will study.

karin, one of my goals is to keep reading backwards on previous posts. To save time, I have been opening the posts that have had many replies and the ones that pertain to my situations. And, I know what you mean on staying in the conversation! That happens on the kitchen forum, too. Everyone is going back and forth on a topic and the original poster is no where to be found. It is a little disapointing sometimes.

Thanks again!

Welcome! What a great way to start off. I can't wait to see your first "real" post. If you've been reading old posts...then you "know" our cast of characters. Have fun!

melanie

One other thing that you need to understand is that the forum is supposed to be for "discussing" rather than a "help resource".

The good news is that people seeking help add great material for discussion, so it functions as both. The problem sometimes is that some people don't like the discussion to drift away from a very personalized thread which only centers on helping the original poster.

Sometimes the discussion becomes more general which helps more people than just the OP. Eventually, there is a good assembly of a lot of different ideas put forth that can be very helpful. There are always more than one way to skin an apple.

thanks melanie and laag. I think alot of my questions will be general (but specific) and will help others. One of my current issues is that I lost a beautiful ash a few weeks back due to storm damage. I have been reading up on trees at the tree forum and books that I have. (Plus digging up roots like crazy.) Once I get the replacement tree in I would be looking for advice on general height of under plantings (shrubs, perenials, pink flamingo statues, etc.) Oh yes, then there is the dreaded slope. Hopefully, others will learn from my situation.

Here are a few pics of my ash and the space of where the ash should be.

I used to feel like I was in a woodland....
{{gwi:45868}}

now I feel like I am in the suburbs...
{{gwi:45869}}

Off to the tree forum! I will post pics once I get my replacement tree in.