Vera! So glad you "checked in" - I've been astray too on the forums because I am getting a new computer and using my husband's instead (not as often as I'd like)... so WELCOME BACK! Carrie

Karen- Thanks a bunch for the birthday wishes and the virtual weeding. ;) Earlybird- Thanks for the beautiful pic. I can't wait to get back to my yard. Fortunately, my family pics were backed up but, my fun graphics and plant pics were not. Katkin and Imatallun- Thanks for the well wishes.

Sposed to be warming up around here over the next couple days, so it should be drifting down your way as well. Today was the worst day so far this year, it was only 44 most of the day, but frozen water in shady areas never thawed out all day and the wind was especially bitter. My chickens never wanted to come out of the coop! Mike B was out there all day (what a trooper) building them a new enclosure that will be called Fort Chicken Knox. I had so much trouble with predators in 2011 they were afraid to lay eggs most days. This coming Summer should be a lot more pain free for them. I'm glad to see you're still around too, PA. Love to see what your place looks like after you get the plants in the ground, especially the brugs and the plumerias. I always seem to get a lot of growth, not much bloom on mine. Hang in there everyone, it can't be winter forever!

Well, thank you all for the comments. I don't think I really made myself clear, though. Probably because (as Asolo so smartly pointed out) I was kind of wallowing in self pity last evening. I do that. Wish I didn't. But I do. I was not actually asking for a solution. I made promises when I married and I take those very seriously. And I've done the math here for quite a few years. Yes, it's lonesome. No, it's not what I had in mind. It isn't even what I had reason to expect when I married this time. It wasn't like this in the beginning. But I have no intention of leaving. I have a lot invested here - literally. When we married I was the one who had a house and that went a long way toward buying the place we have now. If we split up, so does this place and it's all I have. Half of it isn't enough to keep either of us in rent. I went through one horrific divorce and came out with something (not much but something). But that was southern CA and that's a community property state. This isn't and what we have isn't worth nearly that much. So, for practical reasons alone, I won't leave. My ex is now a millionaire and I will have to work until I drop. (sigh) But I do have a home. It's not fancy or worth a lot of money but it's rural and private and pleasant and I like it. Besides that, I don't hate my husband. Far from it, in fact. I am just very disappointed. And I get very lonely and sad. I guess what I wanted from this post was a bit of encouragement. I read so many posts by women who seem to be in similar situations...I just thought that there might be a bit of comfort. Well...just goes to show, doesn't it? If I knew how to get what I want I wouldn't be in this mess. A few of you seem to have gotten the impression that I am happier alone than when my husband is home. That is not exactly right. I do enjoy the time I spend by myself because I get busy and work in my garden or do some chores around my house. I enjoy that. But not the way I would enjoy an affectionate spouse. I would much prefer to have his company IF I felt that he really wanted to be with me. That is the part that troubles me. He spends so much time elsewhere that it seems to me that he would rather be someplace else than with me during the short times I am home from work. If he doesn't WANT to be with me...well...I don't want to inflict myself on anyone. I only meant that I don't just sit and cry when he isn't around. Or, for that matter, when he is. I make a HUGE effort - usually successful, I think - to be upbeat and positive. I don't complain or pick fights. I try very hard not to give him reasons to want to be elsewhere. And for the short times he is with me he doesn't really seem miserable. He just doesn't treat me like a wife but rather like a roommate or a casual friend. I can only assume that it's enough for him because he is definitely setting the pace here. But it sure leaves me feeling rejected. I do value the (somewhat unexpected) advice you all have given, though. Thank you all for your concern and suggestions. "From what you've written, it seems to me you're living in wishes. This is your life. You've only got one of them. Act. If you don't, you'll be 58 next year and nothing will have changed." Asolo, you are always wise. Not always tactful - go ahead and laugh - but you do cut through the brush. You are quite right. I am living in wishes. And you are right that it's pointless. What I need to do is figure out some way to more fully enjoy the life I have. I don't really expect much change from the outside but maybe I can change what I am wishing for. Still, I think that the desire for a kind word -a hug now and then, I friendly glance, a compliment - is a real human need. If you are fortunate to have those things you probably don't even give them a thought. But imagine for a moment if you didn't have any of them. If the "thank you" at the fast food window was the friendliest thing you would hear all day...might you not even write a pitiful, whiny post online at night hoping for something more? Pathetic? Yes. But understandable, I think.