Mathew, Did you ever find anyone? I needed help starting my garden a few years ago out at my farm. I asked a neighbor and he was very happy to help out. He disked the area and then plowed it. I had to convince him to let me pay him. Local farmers are often very willing to help someone get started.

Haahahahaa! Karen this is SO funny. I'm bursting into laughter reading these posts again, and remembering writing and reading them at the time. Well done! And my favourite part about Martha Stewart dropping in with her dish towel parachute!!! WAY too funny!

Thanks for all your hard work Karen! Can't wait to read it in its entirety. Jodi-

Hi again. Yes, he has a vistation order - has had ever since the divorce. So there's no doubt he should at least get visitation - the only question there is if they could somehow enforce it. I expressed my concerns to the attorney that it might be best if we got some transition visits before full time custody (so we could all get to know each other). He said he thinks DH can get custody now, but even if not he'll at least get visitation - but the trick there is that she will take off again and we're back to square 1. The attorney says they may be able to have child support order amended so that if he got visitation and she took off again, the court would order that CS be escrowed (DH would still pay, but she wouldn't get the $ if she ran) If she knows her money is at stake (she doesn't work, CS is her only income) then she might stay put and play fair. According to attorney, the only thing to be done about her not allowing him his visitation is to file contempt charges. Nothing criminal about it - simple contempt of court order. So unfortunately, yes, she can just take off with them and it's not really that big a deal from her perspective. Of course part of the statute is that she has to pay all costs associated with the proceedings - but like we'll ever see any of that money from a woman with no job. I don't know how CS works everywhere, but here in Ohio you get a debit card - so your current address isn't needed to get your money. It is put on your card each month and you just use the card like any visa/debit card. CS doesn't even have MY current address and it hasn't effected my receipt of support (I'm just lazy and haven't updated records in a year - my ex and I get along great so no worries there) So, she has never told the court or CS where she's been the last 5 years either. DH has paid THOUSANDS in attornies and investigators to try and find her over the years - but she keeps skipping. So he's hoping this time she stays put long enough for him to get some resolution to all this. As to DH wanting custody so he doesn't have to pay support - I don't buy it. He paid her CS even BEFORE the court ordered it - and when he had contact with the kids he also bought their clothing and school supplies and misc items (because she flaunts sick son church-to-church to get donations, free clothes, free school supplies - whatever she can. This woman has NO SOUL! She also eventually gets caught stealing from each church!) DH is genuinely concerned with making sure his kids have what they need. And despite his unrealistic expectations of what is to come, he truly wants to be in the kids' lives. Ceph - you are so right! I am focusing on the negative language with myself and I need to change that. I KNOW I CAN handle this - but honestly, I don't know if I WANT to. But I also know myself, and I will suck it up and do the right thing - I can't leave 3 kids who need help. Damnit! By the way - I am SOOO glad I found this site. It's really reassuring to know other genuinely good people are willing to admit their inner struggles and the fact that stepparenting is hard. It's nice to not feel alone!