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Another "what to wear" thread

Funkyart
last month

I will have a couple of dinners out in NYC ... at least two will be nicer restaurants but early evening so not too dressy at all. It will be late May and a holiday weekend so maybe warm-- maybe cool.

I'd like to wear a dress but most of my dresses are either very sundressy or very officey-- not much in between. Trying to shop this one from my closet ... or pick up something that is either on a great sale or versatile with a quick change of jewelry/accessories.


pictures in next post.

Comments (413)

  • salonva
    10 days ago
    last modified: 10 days ago

    I like the idea of the capsule wardrobe, and have somewhat tried to embrace it but it's just not me. I also like choices. I find particularly in the summer, I like bright colors mixed with black and or white.The colors are the outliers I guess.

    We are going to a beach resort next week, and the nice part is no heavy clothes and can fit a lot in a suitcase. I'm really not taking so much but I realized that I inadvertently seem to be gravitating to blues and white. Even though I like the selections, I start to feel like it's a uniform. They're all quite different blues and even some prints that are blue and white and I like the pieces, but I keep thinking I 'm going to toss in some peach and reds to shake it up. :)


    Editing to add, re shoes. I always have a hard time buying shoes and have very few pairs. For most vacations, I end up taking a pair of sneakers, a pair of sandals, and maybe a pair of ballet flats. All have to be super good to walk in.

  • Tina Marie
    10 days ago

    I love color and I find usually each of us has colors more flattering to us than the neutrals. I wear alot of black in cooler weather, not as much in warm weather because it gets hot here. I love to pair black with bright colors. I do wear some prints, but you have to learn how to wear them. I do not do horizontal stripes, for instance. When I wear white pants, I wear a longer top/jacket/whatever in a color so the white doesn't emphasize my hips. I had my colors done years ago and I do believe that we each have colors we look best in. Thankfully I gravitate to some of my best colors, pinks, turquoise/aqua, lavender. I'd have a hard time with a capsule wardrobe. But to the comment below, I don't usually have on more than two colors at a time, unless I have on a print.

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  • Sueb20
    10 days ago

    I think I have made that dreaded new-shoes mistake on two different trips, over the course of a 30+ year marriage…and every time we pack for a trip DH says ”you’re not packing new shoes, are you??” Somehow, he just doesn’t love it when our itinerary suddenly has to accommodate shoe shopping.

  • bbstx
    10 days ago

    I had a pair of shoes that looked good, but killed my feet. I apparently kept forgetting about the ”killed my feet” part and kept wearing them. I wore them to a football game where we had to tramp all over campus. When I got back to our hotel, I put them aside with a note that said ”purposefully left behind.” I knew if they went home with me, I’d put them back on the shoe rack and this ugly cycle would start all over again!

  • mtnrdredux_gw
    10 days ago

    I love color and I find usually each of us has colors more flattering to us than the neutrals.


    Not me. White, black, camel, all shades of blue and that is about it. Once in a great while pale pink.

  • jsk
    9 days ago

    the burden of overpacking is not that great and can be ameliorated with generous tipping (or an indulgent partner).

    This made me giggle. On our trip last month, my suitcase was heavier than usual (we upgraded to 1st class which gave me an extra 20 lb allowance for my luggage). DH said to me (more than once), there will come a time when I will not be able to lift your suitcase!

    I am a notorious over packer. The only thing that has forced me to cut back is airline restrictions. Back in the day, when airlines had no restrictions and didn't charge for luggage, when we'd go on a week cruise (me, DH, DD), I would take 10 suitcases. One suitcase was shoes. Yes, an entire suitcase of just shoes. Mostly mine and DD's. Of course, that was also a time when cruise ships had formal nights and we wore gowns and DH wore tuxedos.

    Now, it's one checked suitcase each, plus a rollaway carryon and personal bag. But, I still need to be better. When I unpacked from the last trip, I realized I did not wear probably 75-80% of the tops I brought. Next Jan we will be away for 3 weeks. I told myself I'd be better about not taking things I didn't wear. 2.5 weeks of that trip is a cruise and we always take advantage of the laundry service. Any bets on whether I follow through on taking less?

  • bbstx
    9 days ago

    Somehow, I seem to show up just as the porters go to lunch or on break or hide somewhere. All of the generous tipping in the world won’t make them appear. And with DH’s physical limitations, he could only handle small bags, if that.

    When we went on the Tauck Tour, it was wonderful. While we were at breakfast, someone came to our room and took away our bags. When we got to the next hotel, voila! there they were in our room when we arrived!

  • nicole___
    8 days ago

    @Funkyart....When I got my denim skirt...you memntioned you had two...and didn't like either of them. You said it was the length. You said knee length was more flattering for you. Shorter for me....just feels like I should be showing off my running figure....which I used to do....and it's just not "there" any more. I'm old. Longer is better for me, personally.

  • mtnrdredux_gw
    8 days ago

    When I unpacked from the last trip, I realized I did not wear probably 75-80% of the tops I brought.

    Yes, but could you have guessed in advance which 25% you would wear?


    Back in the day, when airlines had no restrictions and didn't charge for luggage,

    Even in first class, I have always seen limits.

    when we'd go on a week cruise (me, DH, DD), I would take 10 suitcases.

    Our high was 22 suitcases. In our defense, we are a family of five, had two teen girls and were going for three weeks to sites as different as hiking in Machu Picchu, zodiacs in Antarctica (ski attire), beach time on Easter Island and New Year's Eve in sophisticated Buenos Aires. In retrospect, we were downright Spartan


    One suitcase was shoes. Yes, an entire suitcase of just shoes.

    My girls take a bag of shoes, which they split. I have been known to secrete extra pairs of my shoes in DH's or DS' luggage (Their luggage has air pockets in it! These must be filled for proper wheel alignment.)

  • Funkyart
    Original Author
    8 days ago

    Nicole.. yes, I have two long denim skirts that are supposed to be maxi's but are shorter than maxi. I won't be taking a maxi skirt (true or not) on this trip. They aren't ideal for getting in/out of ubers or taxis or for scooting in to a banquet or booth ... I do love the style but not the best for city travel imo.

    I also have a short (just above knee length-- not mini) denim skirt and that is tentatively on the packing list (insists my niece who gave me a list of my "must pack" outfits.) The final packing list is TBD. It would be good for a few outdoor activities we have planned but we'll see.

  • Sueb20
    8 days ago

    I'm curious to know what kind of vehicle was needed to transport 5 people and 22 suitcases to the airport! School bus?


    I learned how much I can live without when we went on safari and the luggage was strictly limited both by the type of bag (travel co. provided them) and weight (25 lbs each, I think). Of course it helped that we only needed casual clothing and shoes, but we also had to be careful not to forget anything because there's no corner CVS or Target in Botswana! One of the places we stayed offered laundry service, though, which was helpful.


    That is another nice feature of staying at an airbnb too -- usually there's laundry in the house/apt.

    Funkyart thanked Sueb20
  • salonva
    8 days ago
    last modified: 8 days ago

    In the interest of full disclosure, my quest for new bathing suits yielded nothing. So I will go with 2 that I have, one which is nice fits properly and the other which is ok. I was also in the market for new cover up. When I wasn't seriously thinking about a beach vacation, I would see so many nice ones. Of course now that I was focused, there were none that met my needs..... and then amazingly I went into a Walmart for some toiletries and thought I might as well look there. .... yes, they had midi length tshirt material with short sleeve dresses that will work great for a coverup. I bought 2, for a total of $23.98. Also got a solid.

    They're not perfection but it's nice to have something new and fresh that works.

    This is one- it definitely is between midi and almost maxi- so covered up, shoulders covered. loose fitting, fine to walk around and into a restaurant.


    Funkyart thanked salonva
  • Funkyart
    Original Author
    8 days ago

    This arrived the other day-- I am returning because I ordered it too big but also, even a size down, i feel like the fabric is overwhelming.



    I am going to try this on again but pretty sure I am going to return it too. I just don't want to buy a top to turnaround and have it altered. I do love the loose breeziness of the lightweight cotton but I loathe the sleeves (and they do me no favors).



    Exactly ZERO of the many cute white tops I have ordered have worked out.

  • Sueb20
    8 days ago

    Oh darn, I thought that white lace top was really cute.

  • Funkyart
    Original Author
    8 days ago

    it is-- and so soft and flowy -- but the sleeves look ridic.

    I meant to take it to my sister's house to get her opinion and i forgot.

    I just don't feel like fixing them or sending them out. (I sound lazy lol-- and i guess I am)

  • mtnrdredux_gw
    8 days ago
    last modified: 8 days ago

    No, you should not have to alter a brand new top!

    Sue, the luggage went in a separate vehicle. Even with a normal amount of bags we need to do that sometimes, especially in countries without huge SUVs. One thing we did on that trip was to leave luggage at the airport since we connected thru Santiago twice. All of our skistuff stayed behind.


    Totally agree w you on laundry at Airbnbs.

  • rubyclaire
    8 days ago

    At only 5'2", I am very accustomed to having to tailor brand new garments to get the right fit. Annoying but necessary sometimes. Helps when shopping somewhere like Nordstrom's where alterations are typically complimentary.


    So, if you love the top then I wouldn't let the need for alterations disuade you. If only "meh" then obviously not worth it.

  • Kswl
    8 days ago

    I have a friend who is 4’10” and she has to have everything altered if she buys women’s sizes.

  • jsk
    7 days ago

    Yes, but could you have guessed in advance which 25% you would wear?

    I can probably come pretty close. I tend toward the same favorites but I also tend to do that "what if..." when packing. I need to stop doing that, especially with tops. I don't even need to wear many on cruise vacations. It's mostly swimsuits/coverups during the day and sundresses at night.

    Even in first class, I have always seen limits.

    There is a weight limit now (70 lbs instead of 50lbs). 25-30 years ago, I do not think there was a limit on pounds or number of bags, even in economy? I don't remember our bags being weighed. Maybe there was a limit on # of bags per person, but it must have been more than 3-4.

    Our high was 22 suitcases.

    Wow! But, 2 more people, and 2 teen girls, I can definitely understand.

    I always have to stick something in DH's suitcase.

  • Kswl
    7 days ago
    last modified: 7 days ago

    Ten members of our family flew to NYC for a week one year on Christmas day. DD, a teen at the time, took six coats for the week. Coming in a close second for the shameless clotheshorse award was my BIL, who packs more (and looks better) than the rest of us. When DD became engaged I felt it was only fair to warn her fiance 😎 I do check luggage to make sure I have all the bases covered but I am a rank amateur compared to some of you (looking at you, Mtn!).

  • Sueb20
    6 days ago

    I am tired of seeing ruffles on everything but I did order this somewhat-ruffly blouse hoping it won’t look too silly on a 59 year old. The color, the neckline, and length (petite size) should all work for me, but we’ll see about the sleeves. This is sort of my packing theme for next month: jeans + cute top.



    Funkyart thanked Sueb20
  • Kswl
    6 days ago

    I am trying to do more in person shopping, as I find that I try on things I would not order and am often surprised that I like them. When shopping online I always stick to my formula … good for you to try out something new and different! I hope it fits and is extra cute 👍

    Funkyart thanked Kswl
  • Sueb20
    6 days ago

    Me too! But I keep getting disappointed in the stuff I’m finding in local stores. It is often hard to find petites — for example, Anthro doesn’t have petites in the store, only online. It used to be the same with Eddie Bauer too, not sure if that is still the case.


    With all these plastic surgeries and ozempic and etc…why haven’t they found a way to make us taller yet? I would love to be about 5’6”.

    Funkyart thanked Sueb20
  • Funkyart
    Original Author
    6 days ago

    Cute top, Sue .. but I am with you on all the ruffles!

    That was my plan when I set out looking to do a wardrobe refresh-- focus on cute tops. I have not done all that well. I am returning way more than I am am keeping. I was feeling bad about myself because nothing seemed to look good but early this morning, I pulled out tops from last year and I was back in my zone. I think this years styles and tops just arent for me.

    Doesn't mean I will stop trying ... but I am going to be much more critical. Every single item that was on my "maybe" pile is going back. If it doesnt look great, I am not keeping it!


  • Kswl
    6 days ago

    Sueb, you are absolutely right, why can’t they??


    But this shows the contrariness of human nature and the impermanence of our bodies …. I’ve always been a 5’7” adult (and wished I was 5’9”) until I was measured this year and am now 5’6” 😵‍💫 and long to be 5’7” again.


    Funky, I absolutely agree— anything I don’t really love is being donated.


  • hhireno
    6 days ago

    Random replies to comments above:

    I don’t want to be taller but I wish my arms and legs were longer. I’m long of waist and short of limb, I haven’t found an advantage to that, yet. My sisters are all very similar in height but they have longer limbs. Life is unfair.

    I think it was a trip to London in 2000 when they weighed carry-ons. They told me mine was too heavy by a pound or two. I had tossed a folded tote bag into my carry on, so I removed that and put a few items in that. That was an acceptable solution to the airline. We walked away from the check-in counter, and I put all those items back into my carry-on. 🤷🏼‍♀️

    The same trip, there was a couple checking in with so much luggage I assumed they were moving to London. Now I know it was Mtn and her husband on a weekend jaunt. 😆

    Funkyart thanked hhireno
  • salonva
    6 days ago

    I realized that although I'm far from a fashioning, my closet is way better than what's out there. I've tried to pick up a few refreshers but they just look sad . Thankfully I was able to drop a few lbs and what didn't fit so well is now nicer ( from my closet). I'm with you funky. Also here's my find.... costco kirkland signature ankle pants are very very very good duplicate to Athleta Brooklyn pants.... and are $14.99. I bought 2 sizes and one will go back but one is a keeper!!!!

  • Funkyart
    Original Author
    6 days ago

    What a great find, Salonva -- I don't wear the brooklyn pant (forget the one I have but it is a newer one) but ALL the athleta pants are expensive. I do like them a lot but they are all approaching $100 a pant!

    I am 5'6" (and refuse to check if I am shrinking!) and have always wanted to be 5'8 or 9"... but I am the only female in my family who is taller than 5'3" so I guess I shouldn't complain.

    But for those wishing they were taller, remember that what often comes with height are larger shoe sizes and larger hands.

  • jsk
    6 days ago

    I've never owned any Athleta pants. The price was always a deterrent for me. Same with Spanx but I am thinking about getting a pair of those. I don't dress for work anymore, but not a bad idea to have one nice pair of black pants in my closet.

    I was always about 5'5.5". I think last time doc measured my height it was more like 5'4" :-(

    My mom was tall - about five foot, 9 or 10 inches. By the time she passed in her 90s, she was shorter than me. So I fully expect to shrink more and I'm not real happy about that.

  • salonva
    6 days ago

    wow jsk --- Same-- my mom was 5'8" which was so tall for that generation. My sister and I were both shorter than our mom, and our daughters are shorter than we are... ( they are like 5'2 and 5'3) which is so not typical. My husband is /was 6'2 ( now about 6'0") but his brother's daughter is 6 ft..

    I always wanted to be 5'7"


  • Kswl
    6 days ago
    last modified: 6 days ago

    I really enjoyedI being 5‘7” ☹️

  • jsk
    6 days ago

    salon - yes, my mom was basically a giant for her generation! Her 2 brothers were also very tall. Each about 6'2" if I remember correctly.

    I was shorter than my mom, and my daughter shorter than me - 5'3" ish. And her 2 kids are both small. Especially her 4 year old son.

    My son, on the other hand, is 6 foot. Genetics are weird!

  • Sueb20
    6 days ago

    My dad was 5’9” and my mom was 5’8”. I am 5’2”…not fair!

  • maire_cate
    6 days ago

    I over pack too and always return home with clothes that I never wore. But I stick to one checked suitcase and my carry-on and fanatically check the weight requirement. The last time I was in the Dublin airport I watched a family trying to re-arrange the things in their suitcases so that they'd make the lower weight limit for flights inside Ireland. They were fine when they boarded American in Philly but didn't realize that the weight limit was lower on the flight from Dublin to Shannon. I think they finally bought an extra suitcase and paid the excess luggage fee.

  • Sueb20
    6 days ago



  • Irish2
    6 days ago



  • mtnrdredux_gw
    6 days ago

    There is a weight limit now (70 lbs instead of 50lbs). 25-30 years ago, I do not think there was a limit on pounds or number of bags, even in economy?

    I cannot remember a time when check in did not involve your bag going on a scale. Moreover, they have to know that number for fueling purposes, cargo, etc. For me, the weight of my bags has never been an issue because honestly I think you would have to pack bricks to exceed the weight. We do sometimes have to pay for extra baggage but usually the boys underpack so our extra checkins can go toward their limits. I also always chuckle about carry on. If you are in the front of the plane, they ignore all the carryon rules. I swear they'd help you with your baby grand. We usually spring for first but on occasions when that was not an option I noticed a world of difference in rule adherence!


    Like Funky, I see no reason to revise my height and I am clinging to my LKH, last known height, which is 5'9. My sister is 6'1, brother is 6'4. I think my kids are all ~5'10 and DH is 6'. My girls wish they were 6'!

  • HU-163897337
    6 days ago

    I’m 5”3 and enjoy it, other than really having to watch my weight!

  • jsk
    5 days ago

    I guess I was never over the weight limit back in the day. I didn't know of one, and I was never charged or had it mentioned when checking in.

    In economy, the limit is 50 lbs and I am usually right at that weight and that's after putting my heavy dyson blow dryer and a few other toiletries in DHs suitcase. Thank goodness for A-zon thingy to weigh one's suitcase so I don't have to be that person at the airport opening my bags to rearrange!

    In first class, it's 70 lbs. I did not come close to that but I was over 50 lbs. And they put bright orange 'heavy' tags on my bag!

  • kitschykitch
    4 days ago

    One thing as we have gotten older, my DH insists on travelling in first class. I do not overpack because that means I have to unpack and repack on our trips and I hate that part.


    I don’t want to be taller but I wish my arms and legs were longer.

    LOL I am having trouble imagining this

  • hhireno
    4 days ago

    I guess it doesn’t sound right, but 2 of my sisters are my height but have longer arms and legs. So I want to remain 5’3 and 3/4” tall but I need at least one more inch in my arm length and up to 2 or more in my legs, so that I don’t have to hem everything. I know it was possible, because there’s living proof in my family. 😆 Hmm, they are both older sisters so maybe the DNA was getting lazy when it combined to make me. My younger sisters are slightly shorter but their arm length must be ok because they don’t have to roll up every sleeve. and their legs don’t seem so stumpy.

  • eld6161
    4 days ago

    Hhierno, i understand totally.

    Which is why some petite size ranged women might be able to wear regular tops or regular size pants.

    Petite is proportion. Not such height but length of arms, lengths of legs.

  • Funkyart
    Original Author
    3 days ago

    at 5'6, I am not petite -- but I just wore my spanx wide leg air essentials cropped pants for the first time and thinking I should have gotten the petite! I am long waisted but still these are very high waisted and they are long-- a hair past my ankles.

    I am also finding almost all the flare style jeans are way too long at 30"-32" length inseam.

    I am not convinced the flare style is for me so I am just skipping past them for now.

  • Kswl
    3 days ago

    I think it’s a trend, Funky, making pants so much longer that we have to have them hemmed or wear heels. I am also (now) 5’6” and have also been buying pants in petite sizes for the shorter inseam.

  • HU-163897337
    2 days ago

    Aren”t petite pants shorter from waist to crotch?

  • Funkyart
    Original Author
    2 days ago

    Yes, "Hu" ... but as I specifically noted: the spanx are very high/long waisted. I don't think switching to petites will be an issue in this style even though I am long waisted.

    "I am long waisted but still these are very high waisted and they are long-- a hair past my ankles. "

    I have not considered petites in any other brand or style of pants as I don't think the shorter waist/rise will work for me... but as Kswl reports, it is possible. I suspect the higher waist styles are more flexible that way. I don't wear petites in tops ever due to arm/shoulder/body length.

  • Sueb20
    7 hours ago

    Funky just fyi, I just got this white blouse from Zappos and I love it! It has an under-layer so it’s not see through.



  • Kswl
    4 hours ago
    last modified: 4 hours ago

    Cute top Sue— and so much more wearable with lining!

    Funky, I have learned never to say never… again. I’ve been assembling my clothes for our June trip and realized I need to take something warm that isn’t made of wool. Not enamored with the idea of damp wool that doesn’t dry easily and regardless of the chill it will still be early summer so I want something that looks lighter. I went back to our local boutique and tried on all the Spanx air essentials and came out with the polo top in white, and ordered the black and white striped sweatshirt and the black tapered cuffed pants as they did not have them in my size. The medium pants were huge— in fact the lady working that day remarked that they looked like jodhpurs, they were so baggy in the hips! Anyway, I think those three pieces will play nicely with the other things planned for the trip and I’ll have them to wear for next fall. I still am not in love with the weight but I think they’ll fill the ”athleisure” hole in my closet.