My wife's birthday is coming up. She has been leaving jewelry catalogs all over the place. Aha, I bought her a magazine rack!

Wildchild - our Stop and Shop chain has a creepy robot that's taller than me and it always scares me when it crosses my path. It's silent. It looks a lot like the Tin Man from the Wizard of OZ but has blue eyes. I honestly don't know it's function....except to get people to leave the store faster...

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The Boston Symphony was performing Beethoven's Ninth. In the piece, there's a long passage about 20 minutes during which the double basses have nothing to do. Rather than sit around the whole time looking stupid, some bassists decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick one. After slamming several beers in quick succession (as double bassists are prone to do), one of them looked at his watch. "Hey! We need to get back!" "No need to panic," said a fellow bassist. "I thought we might need some extra time, so I tied the last few pages of the conductor's score together with string. It'll take him a few minutes to get it untangled." A few moments later they staggered back to the concert hall and took their places in the orchestra. About this time, a member of the audience noticed the conductor seemed a bit edgy and said as much to her companion. "Well, of course," said her companion. "Don't you see? It's the bottom of the Ninth, the score is tied, and the bassists are loaded."