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Every day, I walk my cow through the vineyard. That's right...I herd it through the grapevine.

How does one train hear another train approaching? With it's engine ears!

A young man goes into a drugstore to buy cOndoms. The pharmacist tells him they come in packs of 3, 9, or 12 and asks which he'd like. "Well," the young man says, "I've been seeing this girl for a while, and she's really hot. I think tonight's the night. We're having dinner with her parents, then we're going out afterward. I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky... and once she's had me, she'll want me all the time. Better give me the 12-pack." So he buys the cOndoms and leaves. Later that evening, he's sitting at dinner with the girl and her parents. He asks if he can say the blessing and they agree. He starts praying... and keeps praying..and praying... for several minutes. Finally, the girl leans over and whispers, "You never told me you were such a religious person." He whispers back, "You never told me your father was a pharmacist."