I was observing two men that were working for the public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in. After a while I had to ask, "Why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?" The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the lad who plants the trees called in sick."

What do you call a dinosaur that takes really good care of its teeth? . . . A flosser raptor!

Don’t tell anyone, but I got my hands on William Shatner’s hairpiece. I’ll be putting it on eBay soon to make a little cash. That’s right, I’ve got…Bill’s toupee!

Don't regret past mistakes. All decisions, good or bad, led you to where you are today. . . .Disregard this if you are in prison. tj