Annie, I'm so glad you made it home safely! I would have been so frightened in that situation.

That sounds terrifying.

Normally, I‘m not one to give out unsolicited advice, but please, stay where there is more activity, not less! Head towards a busy street or shopping mall. Someplace well lit, where there are lots of witnesses.

That was frightening. Glad things turned out the way they did.

It is hard to think of what to do when you are so shocked. I haven’t ever had a road rage problem, but I hope I can learn from you and hit 911 asap. If you were that far out, it may not of connected, but if it did they should of stayed on the line with you until the police or sheriff showed up.

Hitting the high beams and following every turn was NOT innocent.

In this situation, I'm not sure how you could get a photo.

That said, yes there are dangerous, odd and weird people.

Glad you are okay.

My BFF was run off the road in a very similar road rage incident. People are flipping nuts. My friend called 911 from the ditch in her wrecked car, terrified he would turn around and come after her again. The police caught him a few miles down the road. He was drunk and so he is now charged with several felonies as shockingly, this was not his first incident.

Be careful out there my friends.

SO glad you are ok Annie.

A cynical thought on how we’d feel safer in a world without men.

So sorry! How awful! What an #ss! That's so unnerving. I'm super sensitive that way. If I get honked at, it can ruin my day, and I can still fuss over it for longer, but to have this scary weirdo do this at night......!!! I'm so glad he (she?) (doubt it) went away and you are OK.

Michele, unfortunately, we live in a surprisingly rural area where there are no shopping centers or places with people around. That's why the police station is probably the best bet.

Also, while I'm using the masculine, I never saw into the vehicle to see who was driving...man or woman. All I know is it was a large white suv with black trim.

The driver was showing a lot of anger, but no signs of drunkeness...no weaving.

I may be wrong, but I really can't see a woman doing something like this. Even if you actually did something to warrant it, it seems unusual for a woman to carry it that far.

I agree murraysmom, but I have no facts in evidence...only suspicions and pre-judgments.

I was thinking how far it would be to the nearest shopping center and it would've been at least a 20 min drive or more in any direction.

This is all a learning experience though, as I wasn't even sure where the police station was, but I could've relied on my navigation system to get me there. I was also thinking that I could've pulled into the driveway of the house that used to be my GFs and hope the owners were friendly. In our community, the odds of running into friendly neighbors are far greater than not. And it wasn't too late...maybe about 8:30pm.

i'm so glad to know you came away from the incident unscathed! the second he turned on his high beams, i would have called the police. for whatever reason, he was angry for some percieved injustice on your part even though (especially under winter road conditions) you were just being cautious.

tailgating is my absolute worst pet peeve. i even have people do this on the interstate when there's a whole freaking passing lane! years ago, before everybody and their brother was armed, i would just take my foot off the gas and coast until the idiot behind me got the message.

this is especially unnerving during nighttime hours because we have to always be on the lookout for deer. if one decides to cross the road, the tailgater would inevitably end up in the back of my van.

FWIW my friend had no idea her attacker was drunk either.

He had a gun in his truck.

He at first denied any involvement. When they asked him why he sped up when he saw their cop car behind him, he said he had somewhere to be. The police noticed fresh dents on the front of his truck, filled with paint the color of her car. When they asked him how he got fresh dents, he said - I should have shot the b!%ch.

They asked why. He said she flipped him off. Yeah, no. They were at a 4 way stop, she said he had the right of way, so gave him that friendly " you go" wave. And that little wave caused him to come unglued.

I will say it again. Please be careful out there folks. People are nuts.

My DH rides a bike for exercise everyday and he has had a couple of people do weird things. A woman drove over into his lane and came at him and just barely pulled over back in her lane. He reported her as well as the crazy guy who would follow him all over the place and yell curses out his window. inspite of the sherif visiting him more than one he continued and then thankfully died unexpectedly. It feels horrible to be glad someone is dead.

Anyway you have to call the police. It is what they do for a living. Never ever talk to such a person yourself and do stay in as busy a place as possible and dont go home. Go to the police.

I am so glad you are OK. On the small chance that this was not random and it was not your speed, be extra careful in the near future.

Yikes! It's difficult to think clearly in the moment and you did what you deemed best, but I would discourage a turn into a cul-de-sac, as it limits your options for getting away.

Glad he (and I have no problem assuming it's a he, the odds are VERY high) moved along and you got home safely.

I'm sure it was random as I rarely go that way, especially at night.

The only reason I turned on the cul-de-sac was I assumed that the odds of that being his destination were zero to none and expected him to keep going. But clearly he didn't. Next time my spidey sense alerts, I'll drive directly to the police station. I'd be safer stopping there than anywhere else especially as there were no busy or occupied areas within range.

Very scary. The best advice I ever heard was to go to a fire station when something like this happens . There is always someone there. I think if I did that, I would drive in leaning on my horn to alert someone at the station.

That was very scary, and after being blinded by high beams, I would have called 911. It was deliberate and scary. I would have stayed on the main road and gone to the first business I saw. I'm so glad you made it home okay. There are maniacs on the road these days. One prominent person got into a road rage where he got out of his car and pounded on the window of the woman who recorded it all on her phone, and called the police. This was in broad daylight, and he was fired from his prominent position the next day. Edited to add, he was also jailed, taken away in handcuffs.

cyn, the problem is here there are unmanned fire stations as the fire department is volunteer.

lily, as I said, the nearest business was 20 min drive away so not a good choice for this area.

I have no suggestions about how to handle an unexpected experience like that other than to say that when following drivers have high beams on, it's simple to just reach up and aim the rearview mirror lower so that the light beam isn't hitting your eyes.

No telling what was going on but I'm glad it wasn't ultimately something dangerous. It could have even been bored teenagers playing around or something equally benign.. It's good to not have to know more.

Annie, that was a scary incident and I’m glad for uou that nothing bd happened.

We live in a similar rural area…volunteer fire dept; not incorporated so rely on calls to 911 or sheriff’s dept for assistance. I had some jerk act that way several years ago after I turned off the main highway onto the county road that leads about 3/4 miles later to another road that then leads to a small dead end road to our home and about 7 others. Our home and 3 others at the end are a private section of the road and designated as such with an open gate and fence.

This guy kept tailing me and acting like wanted to pass. There is only one stretch where it is safe to do so if there no oncoming traffic. He started to pass me and then decided he didn’t want to have a head-on collision with an oncoming car so he backed off & in behind me again. I already had my hands on my phone and was ready to hit 911 if i had to. I could see & hear the car was a yellow souped up older Dodge Charger or similar. Just beyond that point is where i needed to turn left. He turned in behind me. I hit 911 and reported what i could (I had wireless speaker at that point connected thru my car). I was not going to turn into my street and give my residence away, so i did a fast turn into another street and sat right in the middle. He would have had to go around me on one side or the other and into the grass as the side roads are narrow. He kept going and I’m still on the phone with the 911 dispatcher. I related what i had done, they advised me to go ahead and turn toward home if it felt safe to do so. I turned around, turned off my lights for a moment, then scooted across the road to our house, lights on of course in case of deer. Never saw that car again afaik.

Geeze, I would have been terrified! I'm so glad you are okay. You kept your cool as much as possible and was able to ditch the idiot. I often think of this scenario and where I would drive to - a nearby gas station (but I also live in a rural area where there might not be one close), a business, or even a house. Of course if he followed me into the homeowner's driveway, that could be very dangerous. ugh. Like I say, glad you are okay.

Well, if talking about other dark road incidents, I had one odd one.

A low mountain pass (about 1,500 ft) separates the beach from Silicon Valley, crossed by the winding Hwy 17. Drivers tend to drive too fast on it. One rainy night, returning home after a dinner meeting, I was driving about 40 mph due to heavy rain and poor visibility. A car tailgated me and flashed its high beams, then sped past—an American muscle car with a loud exhaust system. Oh wow, was I impressed.

Just past the summit is a sharp curve at which the concrete divider used to have the words painted “Valley Surprise”. One really needs to slow down there under all conditions, even when it's dry. And especially when it's raining. As I reached it, I saw the same car upside down, spinning on its roof. Yup, they were going too fast there, they indeed got the Valley Surprise. First responders took about an hour to clear the road (which of course delayed my drive home) .

I didn’t feel much sympathy for them - people make reckless choices. I was glad no innocent drivers were involved. I hoped then and still do now that the idiots learned a lesson.

Annie, your incident is just so disturbing.

Very scary! I'm so glad to hear you're okay... your instinct to go to the cul de sac and let him past was very trusting and that's the way my mind would think, but wow, it seems like he had bad intentions after all ! Thank goodness he must've had a brain cell left to calm down. My heart would still be pounding

Here we have had a lot of snow this winter and some minority of people do want to go faster than conditions allow - years ago I too was recklessly (with my baby daughter in car) passed by a driver only to see him in the ditch up ahead and I've got to admit it's a 'serves you right' type of feeling, but in that case it wasn't a situation where the driver was injured, just thoroughly stuck in deep soft snow. Most people just want to drive safely and slow down as needed, and help anybody in troubele / stuck off the road, but there are 'crazies' aren't there?!?

Elmer, I'm acquainted with highway 17, it's not a fun ride for sure! My in-laws lived in Scotts Valley and dh went to grad school at UCSC so we've been there quite a few times.

Putting on your hazard flashers - may or may not have gotten him/her off of your tail!

What a terrifying experience! Are you feeling nervous about going out driving now? I would be!

I'm so happy you are okay, @Annie Deighnaugh! I've learned over the years to take precautions when I feel uncomfortable. I know our first instinct is not to make a fuss, but every time, I would have been better off not ignoring that feeling.

Hugs to you! So hard to stay calm in those instances. You kept a cool head, and you can take solace in that.

Patricia and Elmer said what I would have said. So I won't repeat it. But Elmer reminded me of the street that I live on... For the first six or seven years I lived here? I think! People would take the curve at the top of the hill too fast and come plowing through the grass lot across the street in front of my house. The last time it happened, the driver and riders of the car were picking up the pieces that had fallen off, and stuffing them into the car, or the trunk, while the neighborhood was trying to ask them if they were okay. It was pretty obvious they were going to drive off, so we were all getting their license plate number. There was another time I heard the crash, got up in my bed clothes, and ran across the street to ask him if they were okay. They were muttering "Oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my God... " trying to get their car to start, and you knew it was another drunk driver, so I called that one in too. That curve didn't get any easier, so I don't know why it has quit happening??? I'll take it!

PKponder, no I'm not nervous about driving again as that's the first time it's happened in over 50 years of driving. But I feel like I will be better prepared if something like that should happen again.

Annie, what would you do differently? A good idea to have the police station on your contact list.

I know I would immediately call my husband through the car feature. He then could call the police if need be. He is good at turning a call into a three way call.

DH and I were just noticing many fender benders in Florida. Yes, lots of older drivers. Some are in broad daylight.

In our gated community there are a few blind spots at night before getting to the gate. More lights are needed.

Well, eld, we may find out as I'm going to the library again in a few days for another evening lecture. Hopefully I won't run into that TAC again.

What would I do differently? Next time, as soon as I sense any issue, I will pull over and let them go around me, hopefully before they can get so enraged. I now know where the police station is and will not hesitate to drive there. And if I don't know, I will use my navigation system to get me there. I will call 911 at the first sign of outward aggression such as hitting the high beams and leaving them on me. I will try to trust my spidey sense more as it was more accurate than my rational brain. But my rational brain still found the whole thing incredible...that he would follow me like that. But as they say, when driving, expect the unexpected.

I did come home last night from the library. A little easier as the roads were dry. But I was followed first by one vehicle which was a van, so fine. He turned off. Then an SUV, white with black trim was behind me, so I took the next left around the church yard and he did not follow. I pulled back to the road at the stop sign and let another guy go in front even though I was at the stop first. Then went on my way with no one behind me. I guess I am still weirded out by the event. Especially since, as I was leaving the library which is in a hole, I noticed my nav system was getting no connection until I got closer to the top of the hill, about 1/2 mile down the road!

Annie - that is truly a horror story and I'm glad it turned out the way it did. And it's good to know that it hasn't deterred you from driving, and you're now better prepared if something like that occurs again.

I did have a similar experience and it left me shaken for a long time. I was afraid to call the police for fear the driver would find out who I was and where I lived and come back to get even. Someone who drives like that isn't thinking rationally.

It was in the afternoon and for some reason he decided to tailgate me. I was going 5-7 miles over the speed limit and after a few minutes pulled over so he could pass. He passed me and then I started driving again. We were both going 50 which was the posted speed limit. All of sudden he slammed on his brakes and I had to do the same - it really unnerved me and as we started driving again I did take a photo of his license plate.

Wrong thing to do because he pulled into a parking lot and then came out behind me - tailgating and blowing his horn. - and I could see in my rear view mirror that he had his phone up. I also pulled into a side street hoping he would continue on the main road but he followed me. This wasn't far from my home so I knew I could continue and the local police department was only a few miles. I kept going and he was right behind me. There was a stop sign coming up and I had visions of getting rear ended. I stopped and so did he and then he turned onto a different road.

But for months I was afraid he'd somehow track me down. If it happened again I'd call the police and if I decided to take a picture of his plate I'd try to hold the phone closer to me - hoping it wouldn't be as noticeable.

I hope no one ever experiences that kind of irrational anger.

maire, thanks for sharing your story. It is truly frightening and unbelievable at the same time. Especially since, every time you think he isn't going to get more irrational, he does. And you simply don't know how far he's willing to take it. And you don't know if he's just someone who has had a bad day or a nut who gets off on being a roadway bully. If I had gotten his plate, I would maybe call the police just to see if there are other reports of this same nut case pursuing other vehicles.

I too hope no one experiences that kind of irrational anger. Next time, when my spidey sense goes off, I won't hesitate to call 911 so I know help is on the way, even if the danger passes. It's their job, and these towns around me are generally quiet enough that it would give them something to do.

I remember my Mom telling me years ago about how frightened she was when she as in the middle lane of a highway and trying to exit and the guy on her right wouldn't let her. If she slowed down to get behind him, he slowed down too. If she sped up to try to pass him, he sped up too. He was targeting her for no reason. Eventually he stopped playing chicken and she was able to pull over behind him and get to the exit, but it scared her. That was well before the days of cell phones, so there really was no way to call for help.

This really is just one more situation that apparently men can't understand or accept. It boggles my mind. I'm glad, Annie and Maire, that you both got through those very scary situations.

Annie - your bad experience serves as a good reminder to us all to maintain our awareness of our surroundings. Always. Whether driving or walking down the street & certainly through a park or very quiet area. Maintaining our awareness doesn’t mean we’re overly cautious or neurotic. It means we are prepared for the unexpected and will be in a better position to react in an appropriate defensive manner when we need to. If I’m on a non-busy street and there’s only one vehicle behind me, you bet I’m paying attention to how that vehicle is being driven. That’s not neurotic in my book. That’s defensive driving.

I know I have mentioned this book here before, but "The Gift of Fear" talks about this very thing. I think/hope maybe the socialization that the author discusses is less pervasive today but maybe not.

The challenge some women have is that "don't make a fuss" was almost subconsciously imbued into us as a corollary of some etiquette thing. For some reason, too many of us don't trust that spidey sense. So many women who were victims of violent crimes will say their spidey sense was screaming RED ALERT - but they ignored it. They didn't want to make a scene, or appear to be over-reacting, or somehow be viewed as not having good manners.

I have my own stories. Most women do. The book I mentioned is old now and perhaps less on point as younger generations are hopefully (?) more assertive and less conditioned to ignore a sense of danger. However the first time I read it decades ago, it was very helpful for me to hear that one should never ignore that spidey sense. I did one time and I still have an occasional nightmare about how close I came to something very bad.

Trust yourself. Keep your wits about you, stay calm so you can evaluate things and make good choices - but pay attention if your gut says something is wrong.

@Ally De I know that book was a game changer for many women We can only hope girls are being socialized differently. We see evidence if the socialization you speak of every day on these boards as women here are targeted, demeaned, diminished yet as a group of mostly women, we don’t hold the person accountable, we try to make nice, we don’t make a fuss, we tell others to just get along, etc. when all of us should be calling that behavior out and have each other’s backs.

Amen to that, sister!

Both being dismissed and treated as invisible are some of the worst ways I have been treated.

I’m glad you all got out of that situation unscathed!

I have not yet experienced road rage, but I nearly got into a questionable situation seven years ago during a trip to Home Depot.

It was dusk when I stopped by HD on the way home from work to buy a power tool. When I left the store, there was a dark maroon car with fully tinted windows parked right in front of the exit doors.

I carried the merchandise to my car and loaded it into the back seat. By then my spidey sense had kicked in, so I locked the doors and waited. I had parked close to the store with the front of my car facing out, so I could clearly observe that car from where I was sitting, and I was sure they could clearly see me as well.

After more than five minutes, the dark car began to drive away. I waited another minute and then drove out of the parking lot. But when I reached the first red light, I saw that car again. They were in the right lane, which was for right turns only, and I was in the lane next to them.

We both sat there waiting for the light to turn green. When it did, I decided not to move my car- and neither did they. Soon enough, honking started from behind both of us, and they had to make the first move and turn right.

Only then did I press the gas and drive home. Looking back, I think I made the right decision: by not moving at the red light, I forced them to turn right first, preventing them from getting behind me and possibly following me.

This is part of the reason I have front and rear cameras (dash cams) in my cars. Instantly downloadable videos for proof, and the videos are also saved to an SD card.

It is only commonsense for single women in a car to be very aware of their surroundings and to have a plan. Cell phones and cameras are life savers. When I was a young thing I had to drive across country a couple of times which took about five days each way if you drove 12 to 14 hours a day. It was not uncommon for bored long haul truck drivers to box me in. They were only amusing themselves with a pretty girl but they had no idea I was a white knuckle driver and were risking all our lives. I never had problems with stalkers for which I am grateful. I have to say in defense of truck drivers I always thought of them as friends. I had a terrible time merging into traffic and because they were always watching several times one would slow down and motion me in so I could merge into bumper to bumper traffic.

Annie, am just so glad that you’re ok! My long time nextdoor neighbor, Jim, was a sheriffs detective who taught his daughter, my sister and myself a lot of how to take care of ourselves as women out on our own over the years. Two pieces of advice for situations like yours was: (1) Never turn into a place where the aggressor can block you in. And (2) stay on main roads and turn on your emergency flasher lights. This should flag observers and, hopefully, the police. If this doesn’t help bring notice and help your way, start flashing your headlights on and off very quickly.

Lynn - turning on the flashers is really a great idea.

Thanks for that advice.

Thanks! Another thing Jim drilled into our heads was NEVER walk out of a store you’ve been shopping in without first having your car keys in your hand ready to use! He told us that so many girls and women are attacked, robbed or kidnapped while searching through their purses for their keys and not paying attention to who is near them. And, yes I know that many of our cars these days can now be opened by us with our key/key fob still in our purse or pocket, but it’s still a good thing to remember. It’s saved me personally several times that I know of over the years. And, you can bet I taught this to my DD and her friends!

Also, if you have a system that auto opens the door when you approach, be sure to have the settings set so that only the driver's door unlocks. Some systems unlock all the doors, or the driver's and passenger doors. You don't want anyone to be able to hop in because the doors are unlocked. And lock your door the minute you close it, even if it auto locks when you start moving.

I keep my car key and house keys on separate rings. I usually keep the car key in my pocket and house keys in my purse. One time I was coming home from church and realized my house keys were not in my purse. I had a key hidden outside so I was able to get in. A short time later I got a phone call asking if "Miss Kitty" was there. I recognized Father Jasper's voice. I started laughing. Someone found my keys and turned them in and then he called. I had my deceased cat's ID tag with her name and my phone number on it. I was happy to get them back and Father Jasper had a good laugh as well.