Things I can no longer “do.”
8 months ago
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- 8 months ago
- 8 months ago
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what do you do when the one you love can't garden anymore?
Comments (21)Tony, can I ever relate. The only difference is that I had never made a thing grow in my life before. The plants I received during the many hospital stays, I managed to kill within the year. I had three failed back surgeries which left me with no use of my left leg and foot, a back that I can no longer bend, turn or twist and lately severe Arthritis has attacked my entire body (especially my hands) and horrific pain 24/7. I was in deep depression for a very long time and perhaps if my children would have helped and worried about me as you do about your Mom, I would have pulled myself out of my world of self-pity a long time ago. Alas, I was not that lucky, however, one can only live like that for so long, before thoughts of ending it all take over, and I thank G-d for giving me the strength to find the will to search every avenue to help myself. Also, I have a family physician who is modern and not adverse to giving me enough medication (even narcotics) to take the edge off of the pain. When my youngest moved across the ocean, I bought a samll computer to keep in touch with her. I taught myself how to send e-mails and then I started wandering around the Internet. It was then that I came across GardenWeb and after reading the different posts for days, I got the courage to post and ask questions. You would not believe the many replies I received with all kind of advice on how to start a garden (some giving me sites where to find more info) Last winter I kept myself very busy planning my little garden, searching through catalogues, gardening magazines and the Internet, looking for perennial plants that have "good garden manners", as my garden buddy Newt taught me.I have several container plants and start working on them when it is too cold to plant in the ground. My garden takes up most of my time (even the many long sleepless nights). I agree with the poster that said that outside help can be very frustrating, however, if you have the time to supervise then they will do as your Mom would like to have in done. Who knows, I just might find another hobby to add, that will ensure that I have no spare moments to dwell on all the things I can no longer do (I was not born disabled) Also, I am not adverse to getting a little psycological help now and them when I need it most. I have to digress here for a moment and tell you that the great friends I found here on GardenWeb gave me a new lease on life. I still write to some and they answer when they are able. We exchange jokes as well as gardening information,links where you can find more information for every subject and seeing that we are in the same boat, in one form or another, it gives me the strength to carry on. (We understnad each other) Perhaps that is why I am so grateful to GardenWeb,and to this new Forum. The advice you got in the previous posts are excellent, and if I may, I would like to suggest that if you do build a raised bed, sitting on the wall and twisting around to care for the plants does not always work for everyone. I know it doesn't for me. I don't know if my solution will work for your Mom, however, I had four large (tall) rock garden stones with relatively flat tops placed in strategic places so that I can move around on them (not have to twist my spine). That way I am closer to the ground and can get my hands in the dirt. I guess I will have to leave the composting to purchasing it in a bag (not quite the same as making your own, I understand, however,it's the best I can manage.) Just one last thing, I have purchased some excellent "Enabling tools" through a Catalogue,the name is called Gardenscape, they have a toll free number, which is: 1-888-472-3266, the are situated in Toronto 416-698-5339, they are very reliable, guarantee all purchases and ship promptly. The Catalogue is Free. (I believe they are a GardenWeb sponsor) Good Luck, and G-d Bless Punky....See MoreIf I Had To Do It All Over Again,Things I Would Do Differently:
Comments (10)I would have never put braces on my kids when they were younger than 13 years old. I was talked into it for both of them at the same time, 11 & 9 yrs old. Believe it or not! 11 yo got them off around 13 and never wore his retainer. All that money & pain was for naught, his teeth are as bad as ever (at 20 yo). 9 yo had to have them a second time, and by that time, he was still under 13 and I said NO, we'll wait. He got them done again at 14 and got them off at 16 and wears his retainer and has beautiful teeth. In addition to the retainer problems, 11 yo had to get some oral surgery to get some of his teeth to grow in so the brace work could continue properly. I can't help but think that if we'd just waited for all those teeth to grow in on their own, no matter how crooked, all of the bracework would have been done at once, properly and would have lasted. Aside from that, the only other things I would have wanted to be different were out of my control so no point crying about them now. Good discussion question!...See MoreWhy can't I find things to be pretty just because I do.
Comments (32)may_flowers and sprtphntc - I seldom buy either. I have been buying and looking at a few things lately. Both my mother and my MIL downsized this year and I got a few small pottery pieces from each of them. I wanted to display them but none of them really went together and so I was looking for other pieces to set them off so I was prowling consignment stores and antique stores. So much of it was pretty but not suitable, but when a piece "spoke" to me and I thought "yes, you will set off and add to my enjoyment of my great-grandmothers water pitcher", that's when I bought something. palimpset - exactly. I agree with you. I too prowl real estate listings (used to frighten my DH) but I don't want a new house. Appreciating things does not mean having to own them. mudhouse - oh I really like that imagery of "stocking the visual library in our minds". I'm going to use that line on my DH the next time a situation arises. Then watch him try to figure what I'm saying - he won't get it, poor guy. romy718 - Perhaps like your daughter, I just want to convey my joy in seeing something that I think is, for me, pretty. I don't expect the person that I'm with to agree with me because I do know that we all have different tastes and different definitions as to what is visually pleasing. I guess I just want them to see my joy in seeing something that I find to be pretty and I want to share that - not to buy but just to stop, take a minute and enjoy looking.. Oh, and to be clear that doesn't actually happen all that often. And kevinmark - you're right ,not every gorgeous accessory is meant to buy. I suspect that if one did that the joy of owning pretty things that one found joy in would somehow be diminished over time. For me anyway....See MoreCan I replace part of my lawn or do I have to do the whole thing?
Comments (3)You can replace any part of your lawn you want, and decide if you like it. If you do, you can do the rest the following year, or just leave it if that's all you feel like doing. Dealer's choice. This is your lawn, not mine. :-) It sounds like the Bermuda is the invader and the fescue is what you want to move to. In that case, you'll want to go on a murder spree next June and July, using RoundUp or the like to kill the part of the lawn you want to renovate. It's dirty, it's ugly, and it's not nice. But the earlier you do it, the happier you're going to be in the end because it's going to have to be done more than once. That Bermuda is not going to give up the fight easily. It'll resprout. You'll miss some. And there will be weeds growing. Respray about two weeks after the first time, hitting anything you missed. Then again two weeks later (these are usually easy spot-sprays). Water a bit too, get the weeds sprouting so you can kill them before they sprout from seeding. Through the process, mow the lawn. Sounds crazy, but mow it shorter each time, moving it downward so you don't have to scalp it all at once. Keep mowing it until it's as short as it'll go--you should be able to see soil and, by that time, the old grass is probably rotting away a bit. After that, no special prep is necessary. For you down Tennessee way, planting Fescue is probably a later sort of thing. The rule is to plant when summer's coming to an end and evenings are just getting that first touch of late summer feel. For me here in Pennsylvania, that's actually August 15th or so--earlier than most would expect. So yours will be earlier than expected but later than mine. Were I to guess? September 10th? There will be a window and fescue is not that picky, far less so than bluegrass will be, although I might suggest a good mix with bluegrass in it. Fescues have to be reseeded when they get damaged, they're unable to repair themselves. Bluegrasses are self-repairing if properly fed (that if-clause is, however, quite key to the self-repair). So I do suggest a mix that includes bluegrasses where possible. In TN, it's definitely possible and they'll work fine with fescues, but do take longer to sprout and establish. Drop the seed at the recommended rate. There's no requirement to cover, although many people do find it helpful to apply up to 1/4" of peat moss or very clean compost. It helps retain some moisture in case of irrigation failure or a heat wave, which you're almost certain to get. We go early to give the grass a lot of time to develop roots and store energy, but...well, there's a price for that. Water three times a day. Yep, thrice. And that should be enough to get you started....See More- 8 months ago
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