If you stop and think about it, it smacks of the mentality of another era. A century ago, children were the only form of social security aging parents had. If you lost an only child, and a spouse, you were in a dire situation. On top of that, great importance was put on perpetuating family lines and the lost of an only child who also happened to be male was probably considered an even more tragic event. I'm sure parents loved their children then as much as they do now, but children were also potential commodities. In my own parent's day, an orphan or abandoned child was often released to the care of distant kin, or just as often non-related adults to help out on farms, or in wealthy households. But yes, also like you are suggesting, it's a phrase used to render up a 'worse' tragedy than the death of a child who had siblings. And, it is insensitive to any parent of multiple children who has suffered losing one.

Actually I'm kind of feeling bad. The whole toilet bowl idea may be someone elses pride. Even if a whimsical joke. And Im wondering if I could say what I'm typing to that persons face personally. And not feel the hurt I might cause. But I did get a good laugh : ) To add constructively to the thread one pet peeve of mine? Neighbors or homeowners in a community hiring Landscapers to do renovations requiring the disposal of old shrubs and perennials. Seeing them chainsawd and chipped, buried by heavy machinery. I mean that is horrible. I never looked at it that way until I started the process of donating a Japanese Garden to a local community business. Here I am wondering why the rootstock cant be shared by community members who are financially unable to afford such plants. Here I am wondering how Im going to pull this off with no money of mine to spare. So I must resort to finding recycled plants. For the first time in my life. Ive always spent other people money. Now I have to come up with ideas so as not to loose face and make the Japanese Garden a reality. I wont accept a penny more from the place Im building it. The whole idea is about community service. Giving something that is a passion for free. I have a passion so its easy. The rest is patience. I hate evil plant killers :) Let youre fellow citizens have a chance to adopt a plant before you send it to a tragic death.... People!!! Especially at the hand of Monster Landscape Contractors who arent even willing to keep the plant for themselves to use on another project.Sometimes the completion date requires dispossal of ornamentals not in the design rather than re salvaging. Maybe the local town Gardening Committee will use those ornamentals. Making the town plan of beautification financially feasible. Ive never heard of such a thing but sounds like a good idea. So many homes are stripped of old growth ornamentals that have overgrown the original space. To be lost forever. I sometimes to the embarrassment of myself will stop at such a job and ask for all the root stock still alive.. Many trades men will look at me askance. Like Im crazy and should know better than to ask such a question. Giving that tough guy attitude. Like get the hell off of my job you jackass. I can see it in their eyes. And in truth I hate that feeling. Its hard for me to swallow. I must look like an amatuer doing such things. So in reality I'm doing this rarely. Driving my dump truck to the sites who are kinder. I might get something. Knowing one particular customer of mine who is low on money would appreciate these plants. Giving that customer back for the opportunity they provided earlier. To work on their property when they had money to spend. Maybe sounds old fashioned but I like my customers to be happy. I want them to have dreams fulfilled just as I want mine. Business sometimes corrupts that process of brotherhood. No one could put the value of driving onto a customers property with a huge Rhody salvaged from being destroyed. Its a priceless moment. And what did it cost me. Maybe 20 dollars in gas. A few hours labor. But what I get in return is priceless. Compassion from the person Im thinking about. We see eachother as equalls. Something money can not buy. And when you get used to this way of thinking you never expect anything in return. The whole idea was just do it. Its the right thing to do. For no real reason but it just feels right. I dont need books to know this. Its the same act as when a baby hands over the food for you to take a bite. Isnt it awesome to see a young child offer food that was almost going into the mouth hesitate. Then look at you and put the food in youre mouth intead! Its human nature to share. Sometimes I think how cruel it must be to see ornamentals a neighbor could never afford but truly desire and watch that tree discarded like trash. The owner of such ornamentals never asking fellow neighbors if they would like to have it. I guess most people believe in not sharing and rather see material things in the garbage before theyd ever concede to the principle of giving without hesitation. That was good. I feel better! Japanese Gardening has made me think differently. To give and help the community you are a member of is the goal. Finding every opportunity to make a community come together with little things. Not on the rare occasion. But on a daily bases. Its easy. I like what Im saying and will try harder to do so. This is what makes me feel like a boulder resisting the rivers current. Finding wieght in my doings. Even if the community is too complex to understand I feel rooted to living out one aspect of being a member. Feeling like you belong. Not just driving to the local store for groceries and back home. But stopping along that daily circle to do one small thing. No matter how little. Like someone you see going to the mailbox every morning while leaving for work. Saying to that person.. "Hey Ill have Peony roots by the end of the day. Only a few. Ill leave you some tomorrow morning." At least its a start. And after a few years you can see that act of giving grow into a smile on each others face every time you cross that persons path leaving for work in the morning. Nobody said this means becoming nosey or involved with strangers. Its just one simple way to say hello. Next time we see each other we can smile and wave hello instead of me driving by like a sardine in a car. Gardening is probably the easiest way for a community to come together. Every home has something to offer. Dont throw ornamentals away.

Sometimes I think I'm the only one in the world who doesn't have things to talk about on the phone 24/7. I hate the phone and it is there for my convenience. When I look around and see everyone on a phone I find it disturbing. I think people have become "addicted" to these devices that they have to have them on 24/7 no matter what they are doing. Going off topic a bit, I get very upset with mothers who ignore their children and choose to talk on the phone while shopping, etc. Just another form of child neglect. When someone I know calls me on my cell and it's usually DH to tell me something I need to pick up at the store, etc., my conversations last all of 1 minute. I want to shout to everyone who talks and talks and talks their business in my ear while they are socializing on the phone while out in public, you are annoying and I don't want to hear your business.

Lowspark - I love your widget. You have such lovely taste, You really do. However - just a tiny thought here (I have done a lot of decorating for my friends): Your widget placement bothers me. Could you possibly move your stove to the opposite wall? I'm thinking that the refrigerator which is currently there would look better closer to the sink anyway. Of course you'd have to remove the upper cabinet, but as you've said in another thread, the cab in your guest bath does need changing out. Then you could position your darling table against the empty wall. I'm wondering if the table should be pink, though. Could you repaint it? A cream paint with crackle-glaze would look lovely. Do you see where I'm going here? You could also repaint that wall - in a rich red, for contrast. Just thinking out loud here. Place the table against the wall, put your sweet widget on it, and that widget is going to pop! Then you wouldn't need so many hoo hoos, although I'd keep all the ding dongs. I don't suppose you'd change out your kitchen hardware to match the ORB of the widget, would you? Simply trying to be helpful (I am a decorator, of sorts). My rabbi agrees that if a widget is glass, it can definitely be kashered for Passover. But - not trying to be irritating - if the widget has plastic, it's never going to be kosher and also, it was made by DuPont, and we all know about them.