I'm really sorry you got news you didn't want. I hope it's something that can be dealt with. I'm very glad you got your day of pampering. Sounds like a wonderful time.

Yes, some pampering can help soothe the sting of things, or at least get your mind off it, if even for a short while. Hope you are ok.

I think if I am reading correctly, this happened a while ago and you now okay?

We just got back from Florida and I’ve been running around getting things in irder, shopping for Thanksgiving etc.

So today I took a time out at my local nail salong for an eyebrow threading and chair message. The message can are hit or miss depending on who is there. But today it was a hit. Just what I needed.

Not long ago I was having a stressful week, not sleeping well, etc. I did some business at the bank (good business, not worrisome) and I walked out the opposite door I usually do. Across the street is a local independent candy and ice cream store. Yum. I stopped in and had a simple dish of ice cream, sat at the counter by the window and just enjoyed it (and surfed on my phone of course). A few people came and went for ice cream or candy, but it was pretty me me and my ice cream. That felt good.

I get massages once per week at the end of the workweek, been doing this for a long time. It's a nice way for me to start my weekend with all the knots and kinks worked out. I work all week and I deserve it :0)

Having fun is what life should be about - as far as we can. It's too easy to get in the work/home/sleep rut then bad news comes along and you realise that time spent doing something nice is really important and that every day counts.

I too hope that it's not terrible news, when I got mine, we bought a little caravan so we could have have fun travelling about with our own little home in tow. Each to their own LOL

I think men and women may have different ideas about what “pampering” means, or maybe the word just carries different connotations for us. For me, I’ll sometimes “reward” myself for getting through unpleasant tasks—like an MRI or a colonoscopy—by not complaining and just cooperating quietly. I just Do It. The reward may be stopping to get something to eat that I like but have infrequently.

When my wife talks about “pampering,” she seems to mean receiving personal services—things like massages or salon treatments—that make her feel better. Or, she'll say "I want to go out to dinner tonight, I want to be waited on". Even though I often make dinner, I don't think of "being waiting on" as an important part of going to a restaurant.

My rewards don’t make me feel better in that way; they’re just small treats for getting something done.

Another word that I think may have different connotations and fills different needs to different people is the word "cozy". For some, it seems to sometimes imply something almost like being in a cocoon. For others, not at all.

My husband and I differ in the same way as Elmer describes. Even though my husband will wait on me then he makes dinner, it isn't the same. Doing the same thing in a different environment with different people is appreciated by some. We also differ in how we prefer to vacation. While I enjoy exploring, visiting historic and cultural sites and areas of beauty, I also like to sit back and enjoy what life is like in a different place. DH says, you can sit at a patio table in our back yard, what's different about doing the same thing 5 hours away? I say, it just is.

And I don't see pampering as a reward, by the same token. Just something that feels good sometimes. Today was a good day, maybe I'll go have ice cream. (Just kidding, having an early dinner to go to music practice. That reminds me, my route to my Monday night group goes right past an independent ice cream store, and at 6:15 it's open. But I'm on my way. And coming home at 9:30 it's closed. But one of these days!)

@wildchild2x2 . Your post was beautiful. I can so relate to the "trying too hard to have fun vibe." Very well expressed. Thank you.

" While I enjoy exploring, visiting historic and cultural sites and areas of beauty, I also like to sit back and enjoy what life is like in a different place. "

We encountered that trade-off early on when we started going to Hawaii regularly and have used it for Hawaii and other beachy locations ever since. It's would seem a waste to do only one and not the other.

When the visiting/exploring activities can be easily accomplished in half a day, then it's morning, this, and then afternoon, that. When more than half a day is required, that's fine, the next day returns to approx 50-50 or even 0-100 the other way if we choose to. Rushing around too much on vacation didn't offer, for me, a change of pace from the daily hurried rat race of a working day.

At the gym they have red-light therapy booths. A sauna, A steam room and massage chairs. I do one of each...and feel better instantly! Or...a little shopping "therapy". We tried a new-to-us restaurant a few days ago for lunch. We're super into "nature"....and go camera shooting up the mountain pass or hang out at Helen Hunt Falls. Watching a waterfall....hard not to be awed. Any one of the above is a joy!

So many good, wise takes.

Hobbitmom, I’m sorry you got some lousy news, but happy to hear you know how to be good to you and your mate, to relax, unwind and have fun.

Wildchild, great post and narrative. I am envious of you being able to ride your horses.

Giddy-up!

I don't like to be messed with, so I dislike things like massage, manicures, spa treatments. Saunas and hot tubs bore me after a few moments, I find it difficult to just sit and do nothing, so that's no good either.

I am far more a National Park kind of person than I am an amusement park kind of person. When I still had horses I would do like Wildchild, everything was better on the back of a horse. My Dad used to shake his head and tell me that I couldn't outrun my troubles but I could, for just a little while. Now I talk to my cows and play in the dirt and let nature calm me.

Annie

Annie1992—- my twin!

Hobbitmom, I’m so sorry that you didn’t hear the news you were hoping for.

But, what a wonderful attitude you have! I find that the unplanned days can be the best.

After my husband and I experienced the worst thing (to us) thirty three years ago, we made up our minds that we definitely needed to pamper ourselves. Life is waaaay too short not to.

One of our best holidays was a month long trip around the Canadian Maritimes and Newfoundland. We flew to Halifax, rented a car, and just drove. No hotel reservations, we just winged it and booked rooms as we went. Best of all, no crowds. The only pre-planning was the 14 hour ferry to Newfoundland.

I’ve just returned from a visit with my cousin in Wimbledon, UK. We didn’t go to any of the usual tourist sites but just enjoyed each others company and made plans as we went. It was so much fun.

Thinking about pampering though, we made the decision many years ago, that if we were getting on an airplane, we would always fly first class. And we do. We’re worth it.

(Our suitcases are the rattiest pieces of luggage you’d ever want to see) But they do the job.

My best days are unplanned.

But pampering yourself…..yes, yes,yes. Love and respect yourself. And love and respect those close to you.

I hope things go well for you.

eta I just read your post again. It sounds like this did not happen recently. So, I hope things turned out as well as they could. 🤠

Hobbitmom, I can totally relate to what a fun afternoon that must have been!

When I was pregnant, I was pretty uncomfortable (I carried twins 39 weeks - they were 8 lb each at birth). I couldn't fit behind the steering wheel and reach the pedals, so I couldn't drive myself anywhere, even when I was on "couch rest" before they were born.

One day Hubby took me to the hair salon, just for a shampoo. Laying back and letting someone else massage my head and wash my hair was delicious, at a time when everything I did (even take a shower) was a struggle.

I do love a good massage, but I'm cheap enough that I rarely indulge myself. My Mom used to get me a massage as a birthday gift, which was always a treat.

@AnnKH... Hey Ann, I also had twins!! I had it a little easier though, as they were 5.7 pounds, at 38 weeks. I remember being beyond huge. Wow! You must have been even huger!!

Hobbitmom, thank you for sharing such good advice. I am sorry your news was not what you had hoped, but yes, pampering oneself is a wonderful idea. I can't remember the last time I did that, but now I will try to make some time. :-)

I have a pedicure and manicure every 3 weeks. I make an appointment with same woman every time, and sometimes I even get an extra 10 minute leg massage. I really zone out and almost fall asleep.

Hobbitmom, I was enormous - and I'm only 5'4", so there wasn't much room. One of my friends said "What did one of Ann's babies say to the other? Move over, I need more womb!"

When I was pregnant with my first (not twins!) I had sciatica so bad I could hardly move. My brother gave me a gift certificate for a whole foot treatment at a local spa. I’d never done anything like that before, I didn’t even get pedicures. Nine months pregnant, I slowly winced my way in and they got me to a chair. Paraffin, reflexology, pedicure. It was heavenly. And I went into labor that night. Perfect!

So with #2, I didn’t have the sciatica but when the baby was due, I scheduled a pedi hoping to move things along, but I guess the magic pill had been the paraffin and reflexology which I didn’t have this time, because he waited a whole other week and had to be induced. At least my toes still looked good.

All this talk about pampering for men and women, let's not forget, by the very selfish nature of men, they generally get a lot more pampering.

Men die 6 years earlier than women. So near the end they always have the women to take care everything.

dcarch

" by the very selfish nature of men, they generally get a lot more pampering. "

Really?

Yes really. You disagree?

dcarch

Are there some people who expect to be pampered? Yes, I've noticed that some mothers raise their sons and daughters to expect that.

" Yes really. You disagree? "

Yes, strongly so. I think it's a ridiculous and wrong comment.

You made a broad generalization and added an insult on top of it. Consider what your reaction would be, and what you would think about someone making an unfounded, negative generalization about you—and then including an insult based on assumptions that are baseless.

I disagree, too. It all depends on the person. I don’t find the men in my life, including male acquaintances, to be any more or less selfish than women, on the whole.

Another here who disagrees. The men in my life and those who have been in my life are pamperers and in return deserve to be be pampered. 💕

They also laugh at comments like that. They’re confident fellows. They know who they are.

I also disagree. My husband does not expect to be pampered in the least bit; neither do any of my brothers or my father, nor are they selfish. Quite the opposite. Some men are selfish, some are not; some men expect to be pampered, others do not not. The same can be said about women.

I pamper myself. I don't expect anyone else to do it.

Exactly, porkchop!

I look after myself, my husband does the same. In return we appreciate each other.

The big reward is that we enjoy pampering each other. Mutual respect.

It is the nature, as I said, men die 6 years younger, on top of that, men on the average, marry female more than 2 years younger. So the almost 10 years younger women have no choice but to take care this 10 year older men.

Do I need to tell you, on the average, married couples in which both husband and wife work, the wife mostly takes care house work and childcare, even if the wife earns more money.

I am happy to see so many exception here in this group.

dcarch

LOL, you did say that dcarch.

From personal experience I find it hard to believe.

I guess I have been fortunate.

"It is the nature, as I said, men die 6 years younger, on top of that, men on the average, marry female more than 2 years younger."

That has nothing to do with men being selfish or expecting to be pampered.

"So the almost 10 years younger women have no choice but to take care this 10 year older men."

Just because on average men die at a younger age doesn't mean they become feeble and need care. Some just drop dead. Even if caregiving typically falls on women, that is not the same thing as a man being selfish and expecting to be pampered. Helping an older adult bathe and toilet themselves can hardly be called pampering.....

" Do I need to tell you....... "

No, I don't think anything further is required from you. I think you see few folks and maybe no one agrees with what you've said so far.

To rox's comment - I laughed at it too, and felt sorry for and puzzled how anyone could have such a ridiculous view. And adding what was thought to be an explanation that made sense, that didn't.

But you know that down here, these days, there are so many daily instances of preposterous actions and statements in the news, that one's daily quota of laughing at nonsense can be expended by about noon.

And yet another thread circles the drain.....

"so sip it!"

🧉🥤🧋🍺

I think you meant "zip" it 😆

🤐

Sometimes when I’m out an about, I will swing by the park that overlooks the Great Lake, or go down to the parking by the boating beach. It’s just a nice spot to sit, sip a coffee, I used to take my lunch when one could park at the top of the bluff. Even on a cold and blustery winter day, when I don’t want to be outside, watching from the car windows is so nice. Wild waves, calm seas, changing skies, away from my everyday.

When I find myself in a natural place, (sadly, getting harder to find.) I say to myself Stop! Look! Listen! This beauty is here, now. Take it all in. It is precious.

Hobbitmom, ❤️