Why I love football
10 months ago
last modified: 10 months ago
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Why do I love her??? Do I really?
Comments (24)Hey Betty, When a child has had a bad dream, they seek out the safety and security of snuggling in bed with Mom and/or Dad. That is a typical thing every parent deals with...and I understand that. But there is another school of thought out there, and the one that their father and I believe in, that those who follow this practice routinely may be causing their children more harm than good. It's ok to do it from time to time...(I allow them to lay with me in the middle of the night, but take them back) but it needs to be done on a limited basis because it's possible for that child to develop a dependency on such a routine. Children who co-sleep, or regularly sleep side-by-side with their moms and dads, could face fears of detachment when it comes time to sleep in their own bed or even get dropped off at school in the morning. Having their own bed helps kids become independent. It's a healthy way for them to disconnect from their parents and function on their own. Not only that, talk about a way to ruin a marriage...or at least complicate things. Sometimes bedtime is the only time parents get to be together. It's just not a time or place for the kids to be often. What it all comes down to is just a matter of opinion. However, there should be a common-sense approach to co-sleeping if a parent wants to do it...and it should apply to single parents too. There's a difference between playing in bed with your child on a Saturday morning or letting then lay with you for a little bit or sleep overnight after a bad dream and making it a weekday ritual. Bio-Mom does it every time there is a problem. Sometimes every night that they are there. I think that's way too much...and contributes to the problems that Sam has when she needs to let go. It seems that Marie is allowing her to sleep with her more and now Sam can't even go into her preschool without clinging,something she has never done before. When Sam goes to bed here, she smiles, giggles and says "I'm scared and need to sleep with you." We kiss her and tell her we love her, rub her back and we all laugh. She knows it doesn't work here....From this, I get the sense that she does it with her Mom because it works. And that there really is no need for her to be doing it. But, I understand that it can provide comfort to a child, but if given too much, it doesn't allow the child to hold their own. I want independent, strong kids...not big whiney babies who can't do anything by themselves. Yes, Bill, Marie wants to ask us what she should do, but doesn't really want us to tell her. It's pretty hard to figure things out. And we have been SOOOOOO open about other things...this just really confused me. I have also given my opinions in the past....maybe she is more sensitive to them now that I am marrying her ex. I see your point that I shouldn't have gone there and her reaction to things may be justified. However, I think it is her own issues and sensitivity that causes her to react that way. It's her problem, not mine. In the future, I will make my suggestions in a more sensitive way. D and I have also agreed that when we feel the need to suggest what she should do, we will do it together or have him do it. Just a day before, he approached her on the same topic and handled it in a similar way and she was okay with it. It's just harder for her when it comes from me...because of many different factors, mainly that she is insecure and knows that I am better at a lot of things. She relies on the fact that she is their Mom....that's what helps her...but at the same time, I know she feels inferior. But the next time she asks me what I think.......I'm going to write her back and say, Are you sure you really want to know?...See MoreI don't know why I can't love my stepson
Comments (13)"his ex hates my husband she is not sad they they are not together. She likes to cause trouble though." I didn't mean that she is pining away for him, but you said, "My husband was fooling around with the mother of his other child for years on top of everything to start off. I stayed with my husband because I believe in love and 2nd chances." & I thought you are saying that he was fooling around with the mother of this 8 year old & if he was doing that while he was seeing you, then yes this child saw his parents 'together' at least in some way, unless they were so sly that they hid it from their own child. And even if the mother hates him & is not sad, that does not mean she does not let her son know how angry she is (anger is also a feeling that is much easier to express than hurt, so who knows if she truly hates him or is hurt he finally ended it with her and married you) but I'm sure the child picks up on those feelings because children are little sponges & know more than most people give them credit for. If mommy is angry all the time at daddy, of course it's going to affect how he feels about daddy's house & the new wife, baby, etc. "I think that it's good to be proactive and encourage my stepson to be nice to my son. I don't try to force it upon him. To me to encourage him to love his brother should be a good thing. I agree that yes he is eight and may be frustrated which is understandable. I just don't think that it should be ok that he takes it out on my 2 year old son. If their our any mothers out there you know how you are protective over your children no matter who it might be. If it was my neice , my friend son. I would not stand them to be nasty to my children." If you want to protect your 2 year old, then never allow the 8 year old to be alone with him. It's THAT simple. If dad refuses to acknowledge the problem, then it rests with YOU to protect the baby & make sure he's always in your sight when big brother is around. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a happy little family, but if he (the 8 year old) does not want that, it is going to backfire to force it. I believe he does know right from wrong & he has anger, resentment issues... maybe from how his mother expresses, directly or inadvertently. He is manipulative if he changes face when dad comes around the corner & I agree with Sylvia that is a dangerous child that does that. (reminiscent of "the good son") Lovehadley has a great point that leaving is probably not the best idea since the child only comes over every other weekend and leaving could place the younger child in jeopardy when he would visit. The bottom line is that unless mom & dad are willing to work together to find out why their son is so aggressive & deal with it, then the only solution is to never allow your baby to alone with him. Yes, he was part of the package as you & your kids were part of a package, but YOU and your DH accepted each other's package... the kids don't get a choice. He didn't choose the package so how can you expect him to accept you as you've accepted him. You are the adult....See MoreFootball Sunday...love it!!
Comments (15)Here on the Illinois/Wisconsin border its bitter. Winds are really up and visibility is low. Of course we're in the middle of corn fields so everything just blows. Would not even want to be at the game in Chicago today. Those boys are going to have a hard time of it, I would imagine it's going to be a running game. Can you imagine trying to catch a frozen ball. But, we love it. We'll watch the packers in Detroit first. As a beer fan we're hoping for a loss there. Going to brave it and try to get to the buffalo farm which is just 10 minutes away. Been trying to capture them in the snow for handmade christmas cards. I think this is my opportunity. Have a fun day and stay warm....See MoreI am NOT watching football
Comments (37)Ever since Tony Bennett started working with Lady Gaga, she's toned down the crazy outfits. She's very talented. She's actually classically trained. Anyone catch her singing the Sound of Music medley of songs? (I don't recall what show she sang them). She got high praises from Julie Andrews. If anyone is curious, go to YouTube and search for "Lady Gaga, Sound of Music."...See More- 10 months ago
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