A comment in another thread got me thinking about something....

last year

None of us is perfect. We all make mistakes. Many of us learn from them, many don't. Advancing years don't always mean advancing wisdom, some people make the same mistakes or bad choices over and over. Some of us have been lucky and for many, it's indeed been luck rather than good sense or prudent behavior that protected us from seriously bad outcomes.

Here's my question - How many of you at some time in your past made either a very poor choice or bad mistake about something that could (or did) have a major adverse consequence for you?

PLEASE say nothing more than a high level Yes or No. Please don't provide specifics, no details or information.

I'll start:

I made some, especially in my teen and early adult years. Concerning things that seemed benign or of little importance at the time that I misjudged the risk or importance of. Others were not concerning anything necessarily serious but in hindsight, better choices and decisions could have been made.

That I had no serious adverse consequences can only be the result of undeserved good luck. I try to learn from my mistakes, the syllabus I could write for that course would not be short.

I suspect many who choose to respond could have a similar reply.

How about you? Remember, no specifics.

Featured Answer

KW PNW Z8

last year

Elmer, my reply to your question is - Yes, of course I have made both a poor choice and a bad mistake that could have had a major adverse consequence for myself. My question back to you is this - do you think there can be a person who hasn’t done that if they’ve lived long enough to reach full adult middle age at the very least?

@eld6161 - your remark about interactions in personal relationships & whether those involved even think about those things… Well - your remark reminded me that I’ve learned we’ve all said or done things that make us cringe to think about them now. My thought was about things I’ve said to a favored sister. We had a conversation about that while talking about a statement or reaction from distant past that we each regretted - turned out neither of us remembered the circumstance that the other felt so badly about in hindsight. The conversation was great because it allowed each of us to express our regrets for what each of us had said. We also talked about these kinds of moments with others that had happened either to us or by us within our entire family & also with close friends. I think that we allow the people we care about to have momentary lapses into bad behavior or cranky responses to situations. We forgive them & move on. We need to learn to forgive ourselves.

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Comments (17)

eld6161
last year
last modified: last year
An interesting question but without specifics I'm not sure how far we can actually go in a discussion.

Mine would be my interactions in my personal relationships. I've done a few things that embarrass or still upset me today.

I don't know if those involved even think about these things today.

I was recently invited to a gathering of a friend group from college. I didn't go because of one particular person that I just couldn't face.

So, not exactly what you see asking as far as adverse consequences or luck.
Elmer J Fudd thanked eld6161
Ally De
last year
OMG, yes. So much stupidity in my teenage years. I am deeply grateful for many things in my life, not the least of which is that my young stupidity didn't significantly impact the rest of my life. Many of my teenage cohort did not fare as well in that regard. I wised up, others did not.
Elmer J Fudd thanked Ally De
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Kathsgrdn
last year
Of course. Does anyone not do stupid things from time to time? Unfortunatley some of us keep doing them. Not naming any names. lol
Elmer J Fudd thanked Kathsgrdn
Elmer J Fudd
Original Author
last year
KW, I have a response for your question but not wanting to stymie responses, I'll hold it back. And I may just keep it to myself, same reason. This isn't intended to be a baited trap.
KW PNW Z8
last year
Elmer - Your question didn’t sound like a baited trap 😊. I took it more as a rhetorical one as my first thought was - is there a person who’s lived a normal life who hasn’t made a poor choice or bad mistake? But, maybe what you’re really asking is how many of us have had the good luck or fortune to have suffered no consequences from our past bad choices or mistakes?
Elmer J Fudd thanked KW PNW Z8
eld6161
last year
Doing something significantly bad and getting away with it.
Elmer J Fudd thanked eld6161
laceyvail 6A, WV
last year
A very, very bad relationship.
OutsidePlaying
last year
Oh yes, indeed. Some I still think about and how they changed me for the better in many ways. By that I mean it was a poor choice, but i made a course correction, learned from the mistake and moved on. And of course I’ve made some bloopers that still make me cringe a little. I say FIDO to most of those.
Elmer J Fudd thanked OutsidePlaying
dadoes
last year
Nope.
Elmer J Fudd thanked dadoes
rob333 (zone 7b)
last year
Aren't you asking for the sort of vague comments that I make? The ones you tell me I'm wrong for making? I rest my case. Details aren't always required for an answer.
Elmer J Fudd thanked rob333 (zone 7b)
Elmer J Fudd
Original Author
last year
No, I don't think so. If my general recollection is close (I don't try to memorize verbatim what comments various people make), there's a black and white difference. Maybe a further explanation could give you insights to better understand. Unfortunately, I can't do that now, I have a busy day and a half in front of me and I won't have time until this evening or maybe tomorrow to return here.
OutsidePlaying
last year
I’ll just chime back in to say, I think from what I ’know’ about many of you is that most of us have made far more good choices than bad ones. Funny how those wrong ones stand out. I don’t see how Elmer is baiting anyone, just a human nature observation on life in general for the majority of us.

Rob, don’t take it personally or over-think it.
Elmer J Fudd thanked OutsidePlaying
marilyn_c
last year
Buying this place, mainly for the barn.
Elmer J Fudd thanked marilyn_c
rob333 (zone 7b)
last year
last modified: last year
There was no overthinking. I really found it exceedingly hypocritical.

I mean, it's not just once in awhile, it's everything that I post, and he wants to know every gory detail. It's not just a reminder, or some kind asking, it's chastising. 🙄

However, I do stand behind it's not necessary to know every gory detail. Honestly, I think some people just ask because they want to know, and that's their choice. Doesn't mean I have to tell everything.
Elmer J Fudd thanked rob333 (zone 7b)
chisue
last year
Back to our regularly scheduled programming...

Yes, I have some serious regrets, and as far as I can see, they are all 'Sins of Omitance', the coulda', shoulda' variety, writ large. The damages are largely to my image of myself.
Elmer J Fudd thanked chisue
Toronto Veterinarian
last year
Yes - could have, fortunately didn't.
Elmer J Fudd thanked Toronto Veterinarian

A comment in another thread got me thinking about something....

KW PNW Z8

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