Perhaps the woman is a bit hard of hearing and doesn't realize that she is talking so loudly. Pretty much every medical/dental office I go to has a sign in the waiting room telling folks to NOT use cellphones in the waiting room.

You and me both!

I see a few possibilities: they are oblivious, they are narcissists, they are hard of hearing or they are stupid - or maybe some are all of the above?

I want to understand what would possess a cashier to wait on a person on their phone. Back in the day when I worked a cash register at the mall I would have pushed their purchases aside and waited on the next person if anyone came near me on a phone.

It's the people that use their speakerphone when they're walking around the grocery store, for instance, that bug me. I can't figure out their objective.

As long as it is at the same volume as a conversation would be if the other person was there, I'm okay. Not loud, and not on speaker.

P.S. an addition to my full-time job I am cashiering at another job right now, just to keep busy... And I instead, whisper how are you, did you find everything okay, etc... I figure it must be important or they wouldn't be doing it, because it is pretty darn rare that it happens. I have learned to pick my battles. And that ain't one worth fighting.

The only thing worse than being forced to listen to a person on the phone is being forced to listen to both sides of the conversation. Wait until someone hopefully says something funny then laugh aggressively loudly.

People using the phone in the car think that oh, I’m in the car, so it is a private conversation. Not so. If you are using the car speaker, the voice in the speaker can be heard outside the car very easily.

But things like the waiting room or any public space, are related to why using the phone in the car is dangerous. Not just if you are holding the phone, but it is easy to become separated from ”where you actually are”, and ”where you are in your head, in the conversation”.

As a hearing impaired person, I do think that sometimes some people with that issue are unaware that they are speaking too loudly. Perhaps in such an office situation as the OP described, one could let the receptionist know and she could talk to those talking too loud. I know for myself, I would never want to disturb others with loud talking and would be grateful for someone gently letting me know that I was doing so.

Iim surprised there was no sign asking people to step outside to use the phone.

Equally as bad is people who carry on converrsations on a train. Its like you’re held hostage becausee there is no escaping it. Ive heard other passengers say shut up to the yakkers. I just give the side eye.

ded? Our city train has a quiet car. Do you have that?

Yes, we do, but people even talk on the quiet car. Usuallytheconductor asks them to politely shut up.

Well that's awful! I'm so sorry. People are very quiet in our quiet car. I wish you had that.

I've listened to people's conversations on their phones in restaurants - once at Kifune Japanese Restaurant in Venice back in 1995, and I remember being very amused by it. Some young woman had received a phone call while her girlfriend was in the washroom (Canadian term, I think), and the one sided conversation I heard with my friend Michael was hilarious.

I wish I could remember the details of it, but it had something to do with their next travel destination and decisions and options regarding where they could go and where they could stay. The woman in the booth next to us was so ditzy that it was difficult to keep track of what all the options were, although they all sounded very interesting, if confusing.

Michael and I were making faces at each other (while remaining quiet so that we could hear all the details) and were trying hard to keep straight faces while listening. Of course not all overheard conversations are this entertaining.

I've had conversations with my friend Bernard in stores (in person - not on phones) that I realized other people were listening in on when the people listening started laughing. This has happened to me a lot, and in a lot of different locations.

There are lots of selfish and inconsiderate people around. This is one of too many manifestations of that, that we all encounter too often.

Mothers talking on their phones in the grocery store and completely ignoring thier children. Even worse, to me, is a kid screaming in the cart, right in front of mommy, and she has no reaction. Sorry but I told my kids if they are screaming therebetter be an emergency.

I'm constantly startled when I'm in a store near someone who starts talking and doesn't intend to have a conversation with me.

" And I instead, whisper how are you, did you find everything okay, etc... I figure it must be important or they wouldn't be doing it, "

You're allowing people to be rude to you. People like that will continue to act that way if you give them a pass they don't deserve, Instead, you'll make more customers pleased with your service if you ask such thoughtless people politely to pause their call for a moment so as to not delay others waiting.

I once had a phone call from someone who thought I might be interested in her For Sale By Owner house. I asked her where she got my name and number. She said she overheard about my house search while evesdropping on a real estate agent talking on the phone in a Shoney's restaurant near her house! I had indeed looked in her neighborhood and probably signed a "guestbook" at an open house, but I had no relationship with any agent.

I did go look at the house.

Oh yes being rude back to a rude person is exactly what to do! Never defuse the situation by being kind and warm. Everyone should ignore that they might be having a really awful day or a hard moment. Don't break the cycle of hate and anger, perpetuate it. You show them who's boss, because it's so important for everyone to know who's in control. Wow I'm so stupid for allowing someone to do something that makes them feel comfortable. Never will I be gracious towards them ever thanks for the fantastic advice!

Goodness knows all those compliments I'm getting from higher ups and people who call back in or were a secret shopper and I got a comendation for it, well that's just stupid. How dare anybody reward my behavior? Total idiots.

IOW, an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind..

Well since you've never been in the situation, why would you give advice? You are not an expert at everything, regardless of whether or not you think you are!

This is not the first time I have cashiered. I did it for many years while I was at University, along with my full-time job at the brokerage firm. The reason I'm doing it again, is because I had so much fun doing it the first time. I'm doing it to get out of the house, see people, and move around more.

I'm not open to YOUR view of life because it is so dim and jaded. It has all the venom of anger and ire, all while lacking empathy and kindness. You just want to be right in the situation, you have nothing to add.

Why don't you take a page from your own book and be open to the advice I'm giving you. Be gracious. Be kind when it's unnecessary. And you probably will get less pushback, that I'm just sure you get everyday of your life.

Situations vary. ie:

I'm standing outside a poster store with my DH in Aspen Colorado. Telling him about my past visit HERE with my sister weeks prior. "My sister says they don't have prices on any of the posters because they have boxes of them in the back room. Maybe $20ea. These are just for display purposes & no one can steal & run with the merchandise." A well dressed local woman stopped behind us and is egging me on to continue....she's been listening to the opening to my story and wants to hear more. 🫣I turn sideways and include this stranger as part of my audience...I've become the local FREE entertainment and I don't disappoint. "My sister asks the store owner how much for that one?" He says,"It's an original, $5k." She audibly gasps. He says," if you can't afford it maybe your boyfriend will buy it FOR you." Her reply,"Are YOU available?" Laughter from the lady, my husband only grinned. She departed saying, "You made my day!

Sometimes people DO want to hear what's being said. Lars had a similar experience...it ALL varies...

There is nothing wrong with asking someone to take the conversation elsewhere or tone it down when it is disruptive to others. You don't have to be an *ss about it, but a direct approach is best rather than a passive-agressive one. Do not make the mistake of mis-interpreting directness as rudeness -- they are not the same. Passive-aggressiveness often gets you nowhere because you're not actually telling the person what the problem is so that they can address it, and some people can't read between the lines.

I recall an instance where DH and I were at a mid-level restaurant enjoying a nice meal and the table across the aisle had kids on devices which were turned up super-loud. I couldn't take it anymore, walked over and gently but directly let them know the loudness was disrupting our dinner. Parents immediately told kids to dial down the volume, which they did, and didn't seem upset with me at all. Problem solved.

Post pandemic people are back at the office but some seem to have forgotten office etiquette and take Zoom meetings or phone calls on speaker at their desk at full volume. Have had to walk over to other people's desks many times and ask them to put their headsets on or take it to a conference room. Which they always do -- I just think they're oblivious until it's pointed out to them. Why should others suffer in silence for hours on end when a simple walk across the aisle and a polite but direct request will take care of the problem?

ETA: I've been asked to tone down my conversations, too -- meaning I'm the one being asked to talk quieter or move the conversation elsewhere. Yea, I'm usually embarrassed in the moment but always comply, we're all guilty of being oblivious sometimes.

As others have said, I find involuntary involvement in others’ phone conversations to be extremely annoying. Even when it’s my DH doing it. If it happens at home I can walk away, but if its in a vehicle I’m trapped.

I was at Walmart last week and from one aisle over, I heard a loud woman talking to someone endlessly. When I rounded the corner, I saw she was on the phone. I immediately left that department and went to another. Of course, I kept crossing paths with her, still talking on her phone. 🤬

I usually inwardly chuckle at folks talking loudly to an invisible companion on their airpods - also the ones holding their mobile phones horizontally and speaking into the bottom edge...

And I am continually reminded of this refrain...

P.S. 30 years of working with large groups of school age kids is good training for tuning out/ignoring loud, obnoxious voices 🙂

I think the question is, "Why are people so oblivious of others today?"

Why are so many living entirely 'in their heads'? IDK how some people ever meet anyone whose number isn't already verified on their phone. I see kids meet someone and say, "Let me put my number on your phone." (There! Now we exist to one another!)

Yesterday I very nearly asked a middle-aged woman at my beauty salon if she would use her inside voice, but I was close to leaving the shop.

Another example of annoyance & phone conversations is when in the bathroom and the person in the next stall is on the phone. Talking while doing their business. When I realize this is happening, I will flush the toilet several times just to provide some "background" noise for the person on the other end of the conversation.

Seriously? You can't wait until you're OUT Of the bathroom????

In my case it's people who have an obnoxious music alarm on their phone. Had coworker leave her phone in our office and the alarm went off. It kept playing same song over and over until I finally found the mute button on it. Of course there are also the people who feel that everyone wants to listen to their loud music at midnight.

That was eloquent, rob333. Well, that's our cartoon character and I feel gratefulI to live on the oppiste coast with zero chance of running into or over him.

A few weeks ago I was in the Physical Therapy waiting room. A lady around 60-ish was seated just behind me. The way the seating is arranged, she was at approx 90 degrees to my right and just behind me. Suddently I started hearing the electronic bippity bip and chimes of an electronic game from her direction. She could not see me whip my head around and look at her. But her game continued for another 5 long minutes until I was called back for my appointment. What an annoying noise in a waiting room full of mostly adults! Many are patients, but many are waiting for a patient who, like me at the time, cannot drive.

LOLOL!! ”.… live on the opposite coast with zero chance of running into or over him.”

Classic, @seagrass_gw Cape Cod!!

@carolb_w_fl_coastal_9/10, I have a friend who talks on her phone like that and it drives me nuts...

I just don't see why.

i was IN a physical therapy session when the therapist explained an exercise i was to do. as i started, she sat down in a chair next to me, whipped out her phone, put it on speaker, and proceeded to plan a dinner party. while she yakked, i became more and more annoyed so i started asking her, every 5 seconds, "am i doing this right? i'm not sure i 'm doing this right. is it supposed to hurt this much?". she finally told whoever it was that she'd have to call them back.

as i was leaving the appointment, i requested that at all of my future appointments they give me a therapist who would actually pay attention to her freaking job!

It is especially annoying when you are going to a specific place to relax. On the occasion that I get my eye brows threaded, or a mani/ pedi, I want it to be.spa like.

There was one salon that even had a little sign that asked people to be resoectful.

Recently, a woman was at the drying station after her pedicure. She was on the phone, it was obvious that she was discussing a plan for her special needs child. But…she didn't stop talking. I looked at the owner after 5 minutes. She quietly walked over and helped the customer on with her shoes, and nudged her out the door, and the woman was still talking.

There was a Dunkin that a group used as their meeting place, taking up the available seating. They were loud. We happened to be there when a worker told them they couldn't take up the seating for this amount of time. The leader of the group said something about the owner should have spoke to them instead! Why would a group think it’s okay to take up seating in a small fast food place that is for quick in and outs?

Nina, that is very unprofessional. Good that you spoke up. I'm not one to be confrontational either, but wouldn’t it have shown her if you told her right then?

eld, i suppose i could have come right out and told her. i was just a bit shocked that she would be that unprofessional. i doubt it was the first time she'd ever done it so i don't know how other patients may have reacted. i guess i wanted to annoy her as much as she was annoying me!

The worst for me was when my daughter and I had expensive tickets to Jersey Boys on Broadway, and it was the most dramatic scene of the play when the actor was on a sad phone call and the woman behind me had a REAL call with loud music ring tone and said in a very loud voice...HELLO!!I could have strangled her. All around her gave her daggers and muttered remarks and happily, she left.