You don't describe the setting or circumstances for each encounter, that might make it easier to understand. Otherwise, couldn't a piece of paper and something to write with have solved any communication issues?

No, a piece of paper and pen will not help. We are each busy using our hands.

It was a more a general question because I am curious what a deaf person's mind might be like day to day. These interactions were given as to WHY I asked my question. Not to solve anything.

I want to know what they experience.

I'm profoundly deafened in my left ear and severely deafened in my right. I wear an aid on my right ear which helps somewhat but I rely a lot on lip reading, context and body language. The only solution available at this time for my left ear would be a cochlear implant which my doctor and I decided would not be advisable at this time due to my lifestyle. Not having been deafened my whole life I am not part of the deaf community. I have attended some events and interacted with deaf groups. Outside the "deaf culture" few use sign language as their primary form of communication. But this link is a short piece on the subject you are inquiring about which explains it more clearly. Communicating With Deaf People

wildchild, it’s so interesting that only 1% of deaf or HoH people use sign as their primary communication.

I too have profound hearing loss. I let people know and try to stay close and where I can read lips, if they walk away I can't hear them, and it is much worse in a noisy environment. I am so grateful for close captioning. Although my vision is also bad and getting worse.

I don't see how more info is necessary to answer the questions, which are to people with hearing disability about their feelings.

If one has something relevant to share, why not just share it?

And I know of some people who use ASL despite not having hearing loss - it can be a way to communicate across a distance, and also to have a relatively private conversation.

I have a sweet neighbor, a single parent trying to raise a young daughter. He recently asked me whether I could hear everything he says. Of course, IDK, if I don't hear it, especially if he is behind me, I don't know that I've missed it, but I think it is so nice that he shows he is concerned. Rob I think it is nice that you are concerned, too.

Wild, thanks for the link.

i’m currently reading Far From the Tree which discusses the culture of identity for groups with differences or disabilities. Deaf culture is apparently a strong one for those who are engaged. It also said that ASL can be difficult for hearing parents of deaf to become adept at so full communication can always be a problem within a family.

I appreciate those who are staying on topic (yes the same result of you chastising me, even though it's unnecessary information for which you're asking! Stop trying to steer the conversation).

My mother had profound hearing loss, and I think she must have actually just been completely lonely. She couldn't adapt to texting, like all her friends did, and so she dropped off of that group pretty quickly once she retired. I learned pretty early on to look at her when I was talking, to help her hear/understand better.

She lost her hearing aids multiple times, and she'd just look at you and smile and nod having no idea what you said.

It really saddens me that she was probably very lonely, but I also realized recently that a lot of people are probably like that. I guess I'm a little worried too that it will happen to me because both of my parents have profound hearing loss, and I don't remember anybody listening to loud music.

I'm getting ready to leave the house, but I will certainly look at all the other information that you've linked.

my son just started second grade and is signed up for an ASL class. he can hear perfectly well. a few months ago, we were out shopping and he asked what the couple not far from us was doing with their hands. when i explained it to him, he said he wanted to learn it and i told him it was a good idea since you just never know when you might meet a new friend who is hearing impaired. he's excited to learn it and i was happy to know his school offers this class.

i live very near the state school for the deaf. i worked many years for an attorney and we had quite a few deaf clients. i always kept a notebook/pen on my desk to be able to communicate. those notes always went into the client's file as many of our conversations contained information pertinent to their specific cases. a few of them brought interpreters with them.

there is also the TTY system wherein the deaf person has a keyboard to convey their words to a phone operator who then translates to the call recipient. we used that a lot in the office.

We have a profoundly deaf friend - he lost his hearing in mid life, so not really part of the deaf community. He has cochlear implants but they don't help him much - he relies on lip reading and body language to know what's going on. He drops in fairly often to chat with my hubby and also participates pretty actively in a local men's group so he'scertainly not socially isolated. I actually have no idea whether he knows or uses ASL. I think the biggest aid he has is his hearing assistance dog, a lovely small mixed breed who goes everywhere with him ( and yes, she is a properly trained and accredited assistance dog).

I am currently taking ASL classes (once a week on zoom) with my kids, sister, dad and a friend. I had my voicebox removed and unfortunately the way I healed does not allow speech using my esophagus. I use various forms of communication - writing on a Boogie Board, text to speech app/bluetooth speaker and gestures. I don't think I'll ever get proficient enough at ASL for it to be my main way of communicating but it's another tool that will speed things up. I have seen deaf people sign and it's way too fast for me to join in.

My elementary school had a classroom for deaf and HoH students, and they came to their grade level classrooms for some subjects. All of us little 7-year-olds had a major crush on David, he was quite dashing, and we were delighted that he was in our class for science. Ever since I have had an interest in learning to sign, even though the school didn’t teach signing. But my learning was limited to, for example Linda on Sesame Street (I still remember when Q was the letter of the day, and I learned Queen and Quick). Even when I worked in special recreation, and the association offered a class for us, it was 30 minutes away at 6:15 in the evening, and I had school-age children at home, so that was a no-go.

I’m also interested in it from my language-nerd point of view, as it has its own syntax.

But that got me thinking, is the experience so different from someone who speaks a language other than those around them? I suppose one difference is that, over time, one might learn the local language, but in a one-off situation, it is isolating. And, from, say, your side, rob, do you encounter hearing people with whom you do not share a common language? I’m sure many of us have, or have been the one surrounded by an unfamiliar language.

nelliebean, I imagine that your situation can be frustrating at times, to be able to hear and understand but not reply quickly.

Very similar to wildchild2x2, I have severe hearing loss in one ear and profound loss in the other. I don't know that I ever had "normal" hearing. I began using hearing aids in my early 30's, a long time ago. Adjusting to hearing loss has given me some skills but I am far from well-integrated into society.

No, I didn't choose to learn ASL because this has been a slow loss. Recently have I been advised that a cochlear implant is the recommended option. Gesturing when I am speaking is not "normal" for me, either. Hearing aids, still provide some benefit but only some. I feel little inclination to have the surgery.

My wife has had serious health problems and the covid pandemic put some real restraints on our activities. The benefit of neither of us falling ill is good but the social losses are deeply felt. At one time, I joined a late-deafened support group. Something that I learned was that not everyone, even among the disabled, are "supportive." Conflict between a few within the group, even directed towards the hearing professional leading it, put an end to the meetings. Perhaps, impairment leads to greater sensitivity and emotions that may be misdirected. We are human, we make mistakes.

I very much appreciate friendly, helpful people. People who are tuned in to others. I probably should have put tuned in, in quotation marks, eh? Anyway, folks like that make life more comfortable for most everyone.

Steve

In answer to your question: "rob, do you encounter hearing people with whom you do not share a common language?"

Yes, daily. I work in close contact with people from all over the world. They have different heritage, and different ways. But they have so much in common. They might be Asian or Muslim, but they take their shoes off when they come into the house. Most of them can get through what's going on, with enough English. Or gestures. We're all willing to help.

I just find deafness a really different thing. The first person I was talking about was very very angry. He just kept saying I don't understand I don't understand in his own way. I understood he was angry. The second person wasn't angry, and was able to get through the process regardless of what was going on. But the gamut of emotions for both of them was very different. I imagine I would be more like my mother, and probably withdrawn and lonely.

I imagine deafness would make me fairly isolated. But I'm a person who hears crickets and birds, I listen to music every day. I hear the air conditioner blowing and it brings me comfort, along with the dishwasher-when I'm going to sleep. I'm a "noise" kind of person. I hear the subtleties of life in the clamor. I imagine it would be frustrating to not hear the cacophony of humanity. I don't know that can embrace pure silence like the lady. She was amazing. And I just wanted to hug the man.

I'm glad I could communicate with either of them regardless of the situation of their life. I wish I could do more.

Rob- my own feeling is, based on my admittedly limited experience with hubby's old friend, and with kids from my childhood who'd lost partial hearing because of measles (don't let me get started on anti vaxxers who think measles is a mild disease) is that the individual needs to take the lead on how or what sort of accommodation he or she needs for the disability. Our friend manages largely by lip reading and whatever limited hearing the implants provide. He doesn't want to meet in a local cafe because of background noise, but is absolutely comfortable having coffee or a meal with us at home. And when he and his doggies are off on their winter sojourn he keeps in regular touch by email. Deafness can be isolating, but there are ways around it.

I highly recommend the book Train Go Sorry by Leah Hager Cohen. She is hearing, but her father was the principal of a boarding school for the deaf and she grew up in a deaf community. The book is well written and very interesting.

I live near a high school for the deaf. They are great neighbors because unlike most school kids, they are not noisy.

I wish more people would ask questions. There is so much ignorance we deafened face every day. Thank you rob333 (zone 7b) for bringing the subject up.

You're very welcome wild. I just wish I had thought to ask questions before. Feel free to let us know all the time what you're thinking. I'm sure it's a very different point of view. I appreciate you

bpath, I do get a bit frustrated but overall I get by. I used to love the nuances in English, but I now choose simple words to write to speed up communication. I'm also interested in how the syntax is structured in ASL vs English vs French. I am finding myself thinking in ASL more and more.

She came back through my line. She was happy to show us, how are you in her ASL. We also discussed her necklace charm,I Love You. Her, me, and, my workmate. So she was open to discussion. First dude never was.

I asked my sister, recently. She's a manager at a retail store. Pen and paper. Same as me. Depends on the customer.

Interesting discussion, especially sine we just watched the movie “CODA” last night. Great movie, BTW! CODA for “Children Of Deaf Adults”