Nine Important Facts to Remember As We Grow Older #9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world. #8 Life is sexually transmitted. #7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. #6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich. #5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years. #4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing. #3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. #2 In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal. #1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow. Sources:

@Zoe 29 it may be regional, but around here the level and sheer number of people with special dietary restrictions is ridiculous! EVERYONE (it seems) is looking for restaurants that are gluten free, sugar free, nut free, animal product free, garlic free, etc. I used to go out to lunch once in a while with a group of women from my swim aerobics class but finally had to give it up because of the demands of so many of the participants. Not only did the servers have to deal with a bunch of single checks but the high maintenance dietary needs of so many was ridiculous. I was embarrassed to be a part of the group that the servers had to deal with. I understand that there are real food allergies, like peanuts and gluten, but I'm talking about simply dietary preferences, of the trendy kind.

I think the reason we are born with two hands is so we can pet two dogs at once.

What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion? A piece of a$$ that will bring a tear to your eye!!