This topics comes up many times. One of the extensive and still on-going is my friend Konrad's odyssey in the far North. http://forums2.gardenweb.com/forums/load/fruit/msg050012202514.html?61 There are different sides of the story. One thins I'd like to add is that: do not take too much risk and put yourself in a difficult position. It is a risky business to buy and sell bare root trees. The trees should be fully dormant and the trees should be still in very good condition when they are sold. Trees go dormant from late October and the latest spring shipping season is about late March. So it is normally 5 months. The trees may stay in storage for that long. Some tree farms have excellent coolers, but a lot of them do not. Also, we are talking about several hundreds varieties and tens of thousands of trees. When I purchase trees, particularly bare root trees, I'll try to: 1. Purchase and plant the trees the earliest you can. Fall season is great is you can do it. Then the trees will be the freshest. 2. Try all you can to buy the plants from farms close to you. You can certainly buy from farms in Texas or Florida. But they go dormant late, not hardened in the cold zone, and long transit time. 3. Try all you can to avoid late season purchase. The trees stores in for 5 months are not in their best condition, period. I do not shy away from container trees. Of course there are some disadvantages, but one obvious advantage is that, the trees have a much higher survival rate, or close to 100%. If Lowe's has some nice fruit trees in conditions I like for $10 a pot, I'll grab one or two if I have space for them. I can separate the roots and I can prune the top. I know the tree is good for my zone, grown in my zone and will grow next spring. So I do not need to go through any ordeals like this again. Sellers' warranty is not a cure-all. Buyers should know what you are buying. A lady here (In Praise of England Nursery) purchased some trees from England nursery in KY. That was early in the season and the large trees still have all green leaves. The trees will probably live, but they took so much stress when bare-rooted with all green leaves. Our Mr. Konrad purchased his trees in late May and the trees of course are in horrible condition when that late in the season. Gardening is fun. Try to stay that way....

I want to thank everyone for their replies, Especially from you Dan. This is why I posted this thread. To get a general idea as to the direction we're heading to on this issue. I will continue to post these pics as time goes by and hopefully I will have a better camera next time. Hopefully they will have fruit this year to try and put an end to the suspense. Till then it would only be fair to leave the verdict for the end. Rafed

What great, thoughtful responses to this very sensitive topic! I can relate to the loss of libido--frankly, we're about a decade younger than the OP and her husband but at 56 YO, I too have come through menopause with a decided lack of interest in sexual activity. There isn't anything physically 'wrong' with me, and my husband is as he always has been a very considerate and giving partner. But truthfully, I don't really care any more about sex and the thought of never having it again wouldn't bother me one bit. However. My husband is still interested, to say the least :). In fact he is more ardent than ever now that birth control isn't an issue, and now that our lives are a bit less stressed and child centered. Then too I do believe that most men experience sexual desire as much more of a physical *need* for release than most women do. In our marriage, both of us are very strong, independent people and as I've often said, the ties that bind us are loose--and unbreakable. We have our own jobs, hobbies and friends in addition to the family life we have built together. Our sexual partnership is for only us. Nobody else can be part of it, nobody else can or will know that part of our marriage. So at this season of my life, our sex life is what helps cement our bond, while it keeps our connection strong. And now to I'm sure no one's surprise I must address the problem the OP wanted to discuss; having a partner tell you that unless you do X, Y or Z sexually you won't be getting something you want badly. This quote says so much: "But, I'm sorry your husband has resorted to extortion to get what he wants. If you simply capitulate that clearly marks you as subordinate." Once again, living in a relationship in which a woman does not have her own resources means the risk of becoming subordinate is huge. I cannot imagine being dependent on anyone to the level of him even being able to think what the husband expressed. Regardless of where the thought is coming from, I agree it is extortion and it is despicable. How very sad too, living in a marriage in which a husband has the power and financial authority to do this. I would never, never, never live like that. I"m sure there are many levels of complexity that can't be shared in an online forum. The the OP, I truly hope you can find your way to a compromise that leaves each of you feeling respected and loved, even if it isn't in the house you want or doing the sex acts he does. Ann

Breezy- No wonder you're excited...they look amazing!!! Just like your pictures! :) Your DD is adorable, as is your DS, and I'm looking forward to seeing the 'after' picture, of you all cooking together, in your new kitchen. Congrats, again, on doing such a wonderful GC job! I was a little worried (during the FP build) that it might be going a little sideways for you...but you stayed on top of it and triumphed! When this is all over, I think you should consider a book, with lots of pictures, detailing how you created the house of your dreams, while acting as your own GC. You Go Girl! LOL