Shower came out quite different from expectations. Suggestions?
Pat J
last month
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Stain color came out diff in two rooms
Comments (1)It is to be expected that 70 year older Oak would be darker and potentially have some different grain characteristics than newer wood. Are they using oil based poly? If so, my suggestion would be to have them add some stain to the next coat of poly. We've had success adding up to 8oz. of stain per gallon of poly. We use Duraseal stains and oil poly and have had no compatibility issues. Since they have a coat of poly on, they can do test colors on the floor and wipe them off as they try to pinpoint the right mix. It may require something other than Golden Brown to match the color, like Antique, Chestnut or something else. It's important to let the final sample dry because I've seen it get darker as it dries. 8oz. per gallon is the maximum we've used. They might not need to go that dark. It's better to go a little light than to end up going too dark. They could have used different stains but that can be tricky. On Oak you have the lighter colored hard grain and the darker springwood. You might darken the lighter portion to match the older floor only to have the soft grain get too dark. The stain mix causes the poly to dry shiny but the final clear coat will dry to the gloss level intended....See MoreHow much should parents expect the other parent to help out?
Comments (22)"has to balance what's best for him and best for you. And sometimes they just aren't going to work. IMO, childs needs come first." See, this is interesting. I think what is so interesting and diverse about this forum (or even when talking to friends in RL) is that EVERYONE is going to have their own opinion; and that opinion is one we have formed based on our own experiences and perspectives. Nivea, you were treated in a really cruel and hurtful manner by your SM, correct? (or am I mixing you up with another poster?) I believe it was you. Anyway, naturally, you are more inclined to empathize and identify with the child (stepchild) and perhaps even project a bit of your own feelings; and that's normal, we ALL do that. Just as I am more likely to identify with someone like Ima or Lamom or Silver, someone who is a SM dealing with difficult situations. Anyway, I know what you mean about the child needing to come first; but I think you are saying this out of your own experiences, which included being emotionally hurt by your cruel and emotionally immature SM who insisted HER needs come first. Correct? That is awful that happened and it's sad that your father allowed you to be pushed aside. (And please correct me if I am mixing up your history with someone else.) Our situation is a little different in that DH had continually made the mistake of doing things to harm our marriage---all under the guise of "it's best for SS." But a lot of what he was doing wasn't even really best for SS. DH wanted me to smooth things over and be nice to BM, even after she attacked me in front of SS. Sure, it might be superficially easier for SS if everything seemed hunky-dory again. But in the long run, what lesson is that teaching him? That violence is acceptable? That it's okay for his mom to behave like that and I will just pretend that everything is okay? Those aren't lessons I want SS or DD learning. So sometimes what IS best for SS isn't necessarily what one might think at face value. Sure, it would be more *pleasant* for him in the short term, but in the long run, I think it does more harm than good. (I don't think this particular weekend issue is even really about anything being "best" for SS, though.) And one thing our marriage counselor has been helping both of us see is that sometimes what's best for the marriage has to come first. And I will say this with 100% conviction: it would NOT be in SS's best interest for DH and I to divorce. Not at all. That would be one of the worst things that could happen for both him and my DD. I may be "just a stepmother" to him but I have been a positive and caring person in his life for almost 7 years. He views my daughter as his sister. He genuinely loves our family and feels a TOTAL part of our family unit...because he is! We are not just some people he spends a few days a month with, he has two families and we are one of them! If that unit were to dissolve, it would honestly devastate SS. It would devastate my DD, as well, but I really think it would be worse on SS. He is very sensitive to these things, and he is the type of child that turns his upsets inward. I know if he were to lose his family, it would really impact him negatively in an emotional sense. So in marriage counseling, one thing DH is having to focus on is sorting out when SS's needs really DO come first, and when it's just BM manipulating "in the name of their son." Obviously, there are times that the child's needs have to come first---heck, that is 95% of parenting! But it is my belief that this is not one of those times. SS's mom is doing well and there is no reason he can't be with her....See MoreFired vs Quitting with new job in place? Any difference?
Comments (35)Your numbers are unrealistic. $100 per week for groceries? Does that include brown bag lunches at work? I don't see anything budgeted for lunches out or any entertainment/ dinners. How about health insurance premiums? Co-payments when either of you has to go to the doctor? Dental? How about basic supplies for your home---vacuum bags, stamps, paper, pens, printer paper, computer software and upgrades, a new laptop every several years for one of you? Gifts--- for each other for Christmas, birthdays, Valentine's Day, etc., for your parents anniversaries/birthdays/Christmas, occasions with friends, etc. You and your fiancée are in that stage of life during which all your friends are getting married or having babies. When your wife is asked to be a bridesmaid there is a lot of expense involved, often including a destination bachelorette party. Wedding gifts and showever, baby showers----gift opportunities (and costs) abound. Garbage pickup? Purchase of a lawn mower? Do you own a rake? If you end up commuting on toll roads, there's another possible future expense. Clothing? Just planning to wear what you already have forever? The first few years of home ownership are a steep learning curve. You will need tools for inside and out, and after buying will likely be spending your weekends at Home Depot and Lowe's, trying to fix/update/beautify your house and garden. Don't think you won't---it's human nature to want to improve your surroundings. Savings--- the dollars you put aside in the early years of your working life will multiply much more than those saved or invested when you have more money because of the magic factor of time. Don't forgo a savings/investing plan for a house! I think you are on shaky ground with a $1400 mortgage per month (including taxes and insurance) and would never advise any of my adult kids to do what you are doing....See MoreCame out to the new build to find that plumber HACKED INTO I-JOIST!
Comments (110)"So, what I don't understand is if my deflection is L/868, why is that not sufficient for tile? That is great than L/720, so what is wrong with that?" I believe the only person to say it was not sufficient was Sophie because she was looking at the wrong number. "Sophie Wheeler last Thursday at 8:41PM It is LD 360, which is sufficient for small to medium porcelain (12"), but not large format (defined as any tile with an edge over 16") or any natural stone other than maybe a small mosaic. None of the long plank tile, and no marble etc. You will have cracked tile if you go outside those guidelines" . "That is great than L/720, so what is wrong with that?" L/868 is LESS THAN L/720 just as 1/4 is less than 1/2. The floor should have LESS deflection than L/720. . "I don't love the idea of being limited in floor tile size for remodels and such though. And, with the the floor tile we picked, do we have to worry about grout cracking?" It is hard to tell you anything definitive on this side of the internet. Someone that is actually there will have to look at things more closely, but so far, so good. All anyone can do away from the job is look at the calculations. "So what does : when tested per ASTM A108 mean? You have a kitchen floor tiled, Does engineer use a worst case calculation to satisfy the TESTED statement?" Yes, basically, the calculations are done before the plans are finalized or the floor built, so it is hard to "test" it at that point. After the floor is built, testing is moot to a point because it only tells you what you can no longer fix very well. The only thing that testing after the subfloor is done really does is warns you not to use the big tile you may have wanted. "You have a party and you have 20 + people milling around in kitchen, maybe some are pretty BIG people, ..." The calculations don't quite go to that "worse case". The "live load" is listed as 40 pounds per square foot, so 200÷40 means that a population density of more than one person per 5 square feet would go over the limit. That is an area 27"×27", so if everyone tried to see how tightly they could pack together and jumped up and down in the middle of the floor, it would probably crack the grout. That is one reason to add strong backs, cross-bridging in the middle of the joist spans. But it is often better to increase the size of the joist and space them closer together. (Less time, and less potential squeeks) . "I don't love the idea of being limited in floor tile size for remodels and such though. And, with the the floor tile we picked, do we have to worry about grout cracking?" Everything may be fine. Assuming the floor joist are all the same height and type, you need to get the numbers on the "actual deflection" of the total load, taking into account the weight of the tile and underlayment/tile bed you will be using for the LONGEST joist span that will be under a tiled area. Some stone applications can increase the dead load to above the 15 pounds allotted in these load sheets. Therefore, the total load would be more than the 55 pounds. There are an infinite number of possibilities, and you can't allow for all of them without spending twice as much money....See MorePat J
last monthlast modified: last monthJAN MOYER
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