Day two after a fall is often the worst. Prayers in abundance,

Sorry it was a tough day. We all know on a rational level that healing processes have ups and downs, but we are only human and cannot help be buffeted by it all. I hope tomorrow is better for you all, and kind of suspect it will be. 💕

Jojo, I’m so sorry to hear today hasn’t gone well. I hope and pray tomorrow is better. ((hugs))

🙏

Sending prayers.

Wonderful news! I hope she continues to heal with ease.

Hugs Jojoco! As all have said above, there will be ups and downs as your mom heals ... it breaks my heart that she is in pain but remember that the brain bleeds are the hardest to recover from. The fact tht they are receding is great news. Hold on to that when everything else is looking gloomy.

You and your mom and dad are in my thoughts! ❤️

Very glad things are improving for your mom. I'm sure you must feel some relief now.

Here's hoping for continued good news

Sorry to hear it was not a more encouraging day, but I hope her body was busy healing instead of engaging and she's back with you soon. It takes a LOT of energy to heal.

Praying for a better day today, Jojo. (((hugs)))

Hoping the new day brings good things ❤️

The ups and downs are so hard. We want things to progress in a neat, linear fashion. I so hope she starts bouncing back soon. Please hang in there.

Continued prayers for your Mom. Can't imagine how hard it must be in these early days. Sounds like her body is conserving lots of energy for healing right now. Hope today brings positive changes. Hugs to you all.

I hope today is a better day. You are such a good daughter.

Oh Jo, I was hoping for continued improvement. Of course, oxycodone will make anyone hazy. I used it for two days after my shoulder surgery. Also makes you constipated as heck so I hope the doctors/ nurses are dealing with that.

So hard on everyone. Thinking of you.

Thinking of you as well, hoping today is easier.

Praying today brings some comfort.

Thinking of you and your mom. Hoping today is a better day. (((hugs)))

She's healing and there will be good days and bad days. Healing is hard on the body and her mind is probably reeling and maybe not understanding quite what happened.

Just sending hugs and prayers.

I was surprised at how out of it Oxy made my dad when he took it after a broken pelvis. He just wasn’t present at all, but he returned to his before-accident cognitive status once he stopped the medication. Sending good thoughts that your mother will be more responsive soon.

Sending hugs and good thoughts for healing. Hope that the haze is drug-induced for your mom and it's subsides as the drugs are reduced. I know I would be in shock if it were my parent in there struggling with injuries.

Jo, I'm sorry to hear that. My experience is that medical stuff like this is a roller coaster ride. One day something great happens, the next day is a downer. The only thing you can do is try to be accepting and keep yourself on an even keel through it. I know it's not easy, but the fret and elation only messes with your heart and does nothing to affect the outcome of the situation. That will unfold in its own time. Sending your Mom thoughts of healing, and you thoughts of finding your way to strength and a serenity that is a peace amidst the storm.

One step forwards, two steps backwards. Hopefully today was a better day.

Jojo, I wasn’t always popular with all my DH’s teams, either (also a well-known teaching hospital). I found so many mistakes made, so many errors. One surgeon I’d never seen before came to our ICU room late one night, ready to take my (comatose) DH for a major lung procedure. I demanded they call our transplant doctor, and do not touch my husband until she explained it to me. Woke her up — she had been told nothing about it.

After some very choice words by me, the surgeon left and I never saw him again. Had I not been there? It’s unlikely my DH would’ve survived the very invasive and unnecessary surgery that night.

I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with that on top of everything else. Being given false hope is soul crushing.

I hope with all my heart she takes a turn for the better. Continued prayers and wishes of good news and comfort for you all. ❤️

One even thanked me for "the feedback" as Yale is a teaching hospital. I immediately snapped, "don't call it feedback. This is not a review. This is about making sure my mother receives the same gold standard of care that Yale is providing for all of its other patients."

Excellent response and I think you just taught a valuable lesson at Yale's teaching hospital. And provided strong advocacy for your mom. I am keeping you all in my thoughts.

So sorry Jo Jo.

Be there as much as you can, but take care of yourself so you can continue to advocate and care for both your parents. It ain’t easy.

So sorry to hear-- it is SO important to have a care team you trust and that will give it to you straight. I am so glad you stood up for your mom and for yourselves. I hope you see immediate improvements in the communication, care and your mom's responsiveness. My thoughts are with you!

Jo Jo, it sounds like you are doing a stellar job. I am really very proud of you. This is all unfamiliar territory and I'm amazed you can be so precise in your wording when making your point.

Please keep advocating for her. It's a job none of us want but we're not always given a choice. I'm so sorry for your father, this must be so difficult for him. Just remember, what you are hearing from staff are educated guesses right now. No one can say with certainty how this will turn out. There is always hope, if you can walk that fine line between accepting real possibilities without becoming overly optimistic.

You are not being critical, you are an intelligent loving daughter doing your job - you are taking care of her. (((hugs)))

Good for you! so many people are intimidated by medical professionals, well, doctors. I feel bad for anyone in the hospital who does not have an advocate who will speak up for them.

August is a tough time to be in the hospital as there are new residents and plenty of the seasoned MDs are on vacation.

Stand your ground. As if i had to tell you that!

I'm so sorry her recovery has stalled a bit. I agree with the advice to trust your gut with the Doctors, and stand your ground.

Here's my WTH story about hospital care. When DH's brother was sick and in the hospital, we were told he had pancreas issues. His medical team subjected him to what seemed like daily operations and procedures. When we went to see him, I looked at him for thirty seconds and thought, "He has cancer". He was wasted away. I privately asked his Doctor, "Has he been checked for cancer?" Politely I was told, blah, blah, blah, no, he doesn't have cancer. Guess what? He had cancer and should have been in hospice and was subjected to unnecessary pain and suffering from the useless operations and procedures. It still makes me mad to think about it.

So sorry you are going through this, Jojo. Such a rollercoaster of information at a time when everyone is reeling to begin with. And at the same time trying to help your dear father understand/process what is happening to his beloved wife. So much.

I am so impressed with your gut, courage and tenacity in advocating for your Mom’s medical care. This is the greatest thing you can do for her right now. I hope your family can help support your Dad while you deal with this. Prayers, positive thoughts and hugs to you all.

Thinking of you and sorry for the not great update. Small point but even though she was not on the oxy today, my experience was (with my mom) the haze really lingered and I guess it didnt quite filter out or pass through as quickly as expected.

Hope tomorrow is a better day.

So sorry to hear you had a rough day, but it sounds like you've handled it well -- done and said the right things to advocate for your mom while she cannot. She is lucky to have you. Hope tomorrow is a better day.

You are doing everything you can and I hope knowing that gives you some comfort. It sounds like it is just too soon to know, and there are reasons for both caution and optimism. Take care of yourself, you are dearly needed. {{{hugs}}}

JoJo...I am a retired RN & my feeling is that these days any patient who is hospitalized needs an advocate! You did a good job for your Mom today! It's just the nature of medical care these days, unfortunately. Probably more so in teaching hospitals...My DH has needed some medical help recently & I go to each appt. He got misdiagnosed by the first fill in doc. Just know we are all in your corner & I am praying for your dear Mom, your Dad & you!!

So sorry that you have to be such a strong voice for your mom but so glad you are there to be able to do so. She's very lucky to have you. Sending more hugs and best wishes for a good outcome.

My heart breaks for you. I've been there and the stress is overwhelming.

I hope knowing so many people here are pulling for you and your mom helps in some tiny way.

I'm another who was not popular with my Dad's (and earlier my sister's) care team. I asked to many questions, questioned some of their statements, corrected them, etc. I do not put doctors on a pedestal. They are human beings, some great, some terrible. I kept reminding my sister when she was ill that the doctors are working for you, you have every right to disagree with them. Your mom is lucky to have such a strong advocate.

ICU delirium is real too, it's a significant issue for some of our elderly population. My dad became even more disoriented because of it.

It's so hard - she needs specialized hospital care (obviously!!) - but I wouldn't discount the impact that the hospital setting itself may be having on her cognitive functions either.

These early days after a traumatic incident are so hard. You and your poor dad must be exhausted.

When my father was in ICU after a brain bleed, he completely lost track of day and night. Brain bleed aside, the environment didn’t help. He had an interior room, with a frosted glass window to another space that did have a window but also articifial lighting. There was no sense of day and night. When he moved to stroke recovery, I thought that would help. Room with a window — on to a 5-story courtyard. He could see sky, but the light change was too subtle. His clock was completely flipped, and he kept trying to tell staff that they were giving him breakfast at dinner time, good evening instead of good morning, etc. It seriously took him months to get back on track, but the feeling of that temporary delusion impacted him even longer. (OTOH, two days after it happened, he asked me how a particular Cubs pitcher who was having a good rookie season had done the day before. So that was good!)

You never know what is going on, and hopefully a change in team will see something new.

bpath, that is so interesting about the lighting. I wonder if there have been any studies about using light therapy lamps in hospital rooms and nursing homes.

Oh Jo, I'm so sorry to hear this. But you are doing all you can. She needs an advocate for her and you are doing a wonderful job for her. She is so fortunate to have you. Sending continued thoughts for her healing and your courage and fortitude as these difficult days are upon you.

This is not easy stuff and I agree with everyone. You are doing what needs to be done and it's unfortunate that these situations in hospitals exist everywhere. I hope our support here is helping in a small way.

Jojo I just saw yesterday’s update. My heart hurts for your family. Hold on to hope and hold on to each other and continue to be your mom’s advocate. Please let me know if i can help in anyway. I did my cognitive rehabilitation in Guilford if you need a recommendation in the future. xo

Jojo, i also just saw yesterday's update and I have read most of the other comments. You know you have so many here in your corner and are behind you. DD was in the hospital system until about a year ago (ER/level 4 Trauma team) and she said everyone should have an advocate in case of hospitalization and can’t speak for themselves. Too many things that can escape our notice, especially if we are not there as in Jilly’s case. Keep on doing what you’re doing, even if it isn’t popular.

I hope today is better and your mom is improving.

Was looking to see if there was an update and hoping things are going better today. As I scanned recent replies and thought about you saying she was off Oxy, something else occurred to me. Absolutely continue to press on your concerns (and I would make sure they are looking for any signs of a brain bleed or any other continued internal bleeding), but consider that her body may be responding to pain an injury. If the pain is too great, her body may be muffling all kinds of stimulation or tuning out to a certain degree as a coping mechanism. If everything else is checking out okay, it's something to think about. Being a bit druggy or having some side effects might be worth it if that seems like a possibility. I've not has as serious an injury as your mom's, but I've had a couple of very painful ones and have a chronic (nearly 30 year) source of pain I've had to learn to manage. Part of getting a handle on it was understanding that my body was responding to an injury where there were not nerve endings to signal pain. Learning that systemic reaction help start explaining and unlocking things for me. Whatever helps, I just hope your mom is on the mend.

I'm so sorry for the setback. I am glad you are advocating for your mom. I learned years ago that everyone who is hospitalized needs an advocate. My heart hurts for you and your dad. I know it is so difficult as I have been in your shoes. Thinking of you and praying for you and your family.

Jojo, I hope if I am ever in a situation that I can't speak for myself that I'll have someone as amazing as you to speak for me!