Am I correct that you will be meeting the parents of the person your child has been dating for awhile? Just be yourself. Let your child and Cutie Pie take the lead. It sounds like you like Cutie Pie.

I LOVE cute pie.

Sounds like a shoe-in

Cool

Thanks

What's the significance of being Puerto Rican in this?

Yes, just be yourself. Are you meeting for lunch, coffee, a walk? Do you know anything about them?

ETA - We met one of my sons future in-laws over brunch and although we live 15 minutes away we never socialize and I prefer it that way. Our other sons in-laws are divorced and rather messily but we had met them separately through the years (they lived together for 10 years before marrying). We never had a "formal" sit-down get-together before the kids were married.

I had similar worries when meeting my Italian in laws for the first time. I imagined they'd be impossibly chic, hate our crusty old house and be fantastic cooks. As it turned out they were lovely ordinary people and wolfed down everything I made for them. Just relax and enjoy/be yourself. btw it turned out that, although they are food obsessed, they are not that good at cooking!

We invited our son's fiancé's parents for dinner for our first meeting. Dinner with 'strangers' is often awkward feeling but remember they are in this too the same way. We too have distance between us so the expectations of being besties in the end does not have to be there, You mentioned their country. I hope there isn't a language barrier!

Puerto Rico isn't a different country.

I agree, be your wonderful self. Remember you having something important in common...you both love your children!

I‘m sure saying they live in Puerto Rico only means it is far away so they weren’t expected to make the trip any time soon. We only just met our daughter-in-law’s parents a few weeks ago at the wedding. But that’s a whole different story. You love the daughter they raised, so I am sure they will be wonderful. Have fun!

Congrats future MIL!

Do they live in PR or are they from PR? How's their English and/or your Spanish? While there may be cultural differences, I'm not aware of any to be worried about. In my experience they tend to be pretty outgoing, so yeah just be comfortable and be yourself!

Be you!

Sounds like fun to me! Your in!....because you already love their child and have a past positive history with her. I've spent some time in Puerto Rico. One guy described his culture as liking food and fun, liking people. He says they are "passionate" about everything. That's easy to fit in with.

Most of the self-identified Puerto Ricans I have know have been on the mainland for more than a generation..

It sounds to me like there will be a glorious time for all.

Just be yourself and have a great time!

“Sounds like a shoe-in”

You bet!😃👍🏻

Too much drama. The impression you make and the relationship you do or don't have with them in the future matter not a stitch. It's your kid's relationship that matters, you're not "joining" their family in the same way.

I'm put off by a few of the phrases/words OP has used, it suggests a privacy invasion and a lack of respect.

The significance was she had to travel a long distance from Puerto Rico. That was all. I would have said if she'd been Swiss, or French or coming from Antarctica.

scroll on by elmer. You always want to put your ugly spin on things, when I'm not being ugly.

I just don't want to screw it up, or give them any reason to dislike my child. It'll just be lunch, so it should be okay. Yay!

" The significance was she had to travel a long distance from Puerto Rico. That was all. I would have said if she'd been swiss, or French or in Antarctica. "

That is exactly the way I took it. I do not know why some people have to be so whatever.

You won't screw it up. :)

She didn’t say they live in PR, just that they are Puerto Rican, which is why I asked what the significance is (regarding her post).

Did my explaination make sense olychick? Hope it cleared it up.

If you are hosting the lunch, I would want to know if there are any dietary restrictions.

Other than that, they probably be a bit nervous too.

You have the home advantage.

It's hard meeting people who will become an important part of your life through your child.

Side note: I get what Oly was saying but.....and I know it's not “pc”, I will sometimes add ethnicity in my description. For me, it’s about the visual.

In the overall scheme of things, what does it matter if you and Cutie Pie's parents don't like each other? I mean, if Kiddo and Cutie Pie love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together, that's what's important. So, just be yourself and relax - after all, if you were a horrible person, Kiddo wouldn't have turned out so great for Cutie Pie to love, and Cutie Pie's parents can't be that bad for Cutie Pie to have turned out great, too, right?

And, please, after the meet-and-greet, post a photo or two of the happy couple!

Hey, I am here to validate the nervous thing. Why shouldnt you be and want to be a part of a greater family? It seems natural to want that. These will all be people significant in your life. And different cultures can clash but having said that I say no worries you will all wow each other and wonder how you managed before you met.

It was very important for me that our parents got along. They're quite different, wouldn't be a natural match as friends out in the wild but get along well, can genuinely enjoy each other's company when we host holidays, and keep some minimal contact directly. I hope for the same for us when our kids get to that age. And while I'd be welcoming to a different culture, it could add a level of apprehension to the meeting.

It’s certainly easier on the young couple if their parents at least get along.

Wishing you all the best 😃

And my stepdaughter married a man of PR descent about 18 years ago. His family all live in the states, I believe - mainly here and Chicago. One thing I do know about the people from PR in my life (and not just family relations) is that their heritage/culture is very important to them.

It was very important for me that our parents got along.

Same here! And they did.

My husband and I came from very different backgrounds but both sets of parents liked each other. It made it very easy for family get togethers.

My husband and I get along very well with my daughter’s in-laws as well. Our backgrounds are similar, though.

I host a Canada Day BBQ every year and families from both/all sides are invited, we all get along and we’ve always had a good turnout. This year I’m expecting 35 guests. 😀

I appreciate all the encouragement!

Cutie pie lives in the Carolinas, so her mom is flying up and we're driving over from Nashville. No home field advantage.

But I know what you mean about asking if there are restrictions, I just had a Pakistani Muslim citizen, a Japanese citizen, and a couple of boring born in America citizens over for lunch a couple of weekends ago. I was very picky about what I made for them, though salmon fit both the Muslim and Japanese portion of the bill, and everyone takes their shoes off, including the American citizens. Other than that, it's pretty much what anybody wants to talk about! The Pakistani person is off on another trip before they head into their residency in Michigan. They were asking questions about States they might want to visit, because they're taking advantage of that while they're here.

They will love you since their daughter loves you. They will be thrilled to know that their daughter is marrying into a family who will treasure her.

Thanks for clarifying Rob. In your original post it didn't say they were traveling from Puerto Rico, just that they were Puerto Rican...some people many generations on the mainland still identify with their ancestors ethnicity, so I just wondered if you had worries or concerns about entertaining them. It does make sense now that you made it clear they live in Puerto Rico and will have to travel far because they are not living on the mainland.

I hope you all have a great time getting to know each other. If your kids love each other, that definitely gives you solid common ground.

SIL former boyfriend always made sure everyone knew he was Puerto Rican. i always assumed he was a native. No, he was born in the US.

Because they weren't in my face. Like you are. All the time. Haven't seen you apologize for misunderstanding, and doubt I will.

Rob, because he justs like to argue and poke. He is a troll. You could of said they were Chinese, Japenese, Swedish, German, Irish, English, Spanish, Mexican,Hawiian, etc and he would of argued.

No one I knew said they were from another country unless they were. They said, "my family or my parents or my grandparents were from ( insert country)".

The troll needs to be banned.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Surprise, surprise! Instead of apologizing, he doubled down. 🙄

Matthias, I think you know what I meant.

At work, I have a friend whose heritage is PR. They went out with somebody who asked her when she would get her US citizenship. Didn't date again. 🤣 I'm pretty sure I've told that story before.

Someone who is Puerto Rician whether they were born on the island or mainland would have a somewhat different cultural experience. Whatever. I think this is an exciting and trepidatious event because of what is at stake but still I am confident it will go well. I have been reading Rob posts for about twenty years. What could go wrong? Yall are going to have an amazing time.