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BIL possibly near the end

last month

Yesterday my sister in Texas called my brother (who is in L.A. right now - I am in Cathedral City), and she told him that she thinks her husband is close to death. He has advanced Alzheimer's, and now she said that he has gotten extremely senile and is refusing to eat. She is trying to care for him at her house, but it sounds to me like he should be in a medical facility of some sort, although I am sure he would not want that.

I have not talked with my sister, and I'm not sure whether I should call her or send her an email. Kevin thought I should not call and send email instead, but I am not sure what I should say. I have a feeling that he could hang on for another month or two, but that is just speculation on my part.

I read this article for some info, but I do not know BIL's exact symptoms. If he is not eating at all (and I am not completely sure about this), then it seems that he might die in a week.

I do not have clothes for a funeral, and so yesterday I ordered some black pants in my current size (I hope), and they should arrive tomorrow. If they do not fit, I will have to return them, and then I will probably go to a thrift store here to try to find something. I rarely wear long pants, and the ones I have are either cargo pants or are an extremely bright color. I do not know when I will need to go to a funeral, but at this point, I want to be properly prepared.

As for my own schedule, I have an appointment (that took me months to arrange) for a sleep test at UCLA on Saturday, May 13, and then a dermatologist appointment on May 17 to have surgery to remove carcinoma on my back. This appointment would be easy to reschedule, but the sleep test would not. I am hoping that I can keep my sleep test appointment, as I really need a new CPAP machine and cannot get one without it.

I don't think I should mention any of my own problems to my sister at this time, but I might mention what appointments I have and lie to her and say that they can easily be rescheduled, even though the sleep test might take months again to reschedule, based on my experience with that so far.

Kevin and I have not been back to Texas since March 2017, and so this is probably the longest we have gone without seeing our immediate family. One niece visited us last August, and that turned out not to be the best visit. It is painful for me to visit family in Texas, and lately we have gone back only for funerals or to settle our estate.

How long do you think my BIL will be able to hold on in his current condition? What advice should I give my sister, if any? Should I call her or just email?

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