So little time to say hello and much too soon to say goodbye. Although I never met Larry person to person, we communicated by emails. I got to know him by supplying him with a bunch of green japanese maples to use for his grafting. Larry was a generous, giving person, always seemingly thinking of others. I'll miss you, friend. Lynn

I don't deal well with with losses like that, and so I do understand your numbness and send you my condolence. I lost a lot of friends who were in the 30s and 40s, and so by now I am beginning to feel that reaching 60 is adequate, but I know that is wrong. One friend in his 40s died suddenly of a brain aneurysm while I was in the middle of preparing an astrological reading for him. When I noticed that he had a very exact Mars-Uranus conjuction in the 8th House (Death), I called him to set up an appointment to warn him to be careful when he had transits of that conjuction, as it could mean a sudden unexpected death. I only got his voice mail, and then he left a voice mail for me the day before he died. I kept that message for a long time. Anyway, I really feel for your loss. Lars

Payton, I'm very sorry for your loss. I can relate to what you are going through. I just lost my mom on January 1st of this year. She was a young 50 years old, and suffered a horrible painful death due to Scleroderma and Pulmonary Hypertension. Basically, she couldn't breathe anymore, and her lungs and heart failed her. I just turned 23 years old a few weeks ago. Life sure does seem unfair doesn't it? We are so young to have to endure this kind of pain and emptiness. The only thing that gets me through it is having faith in God and the love of family and friends around me. No matter how alone you feel, you are NEVER completely alone. There is always someone else out there going through a similar situation as you too. Unfortunately death is a part of life that we all must learn to deal with. My mom was my best friend, and sadly I realized just how much she means to me after she was already gone. I wish I could have told her that she was the best mom in the entire world and that I am a good person because of her. I would consider myself to have been a good daughter, but there is so much more I wish I would have done. I took for granted that she would always be there for me, and that she would never dieat least not for another 20 or 30 years. God had other plans though. You and I both need to realize that no matter how much we did, we never would have felt like it was enough. I guess it's hard to repay the person who gave you life and loved you unconditionally like no one else could. This journey of grief you face has only just begun, as has mine. However, I choose to believe people when they say it will get easier. Not a day goes by that I won't think about my mom or miss her deeply, as I'm sure this is the same for you, but with time maybe we can learn to cope with their passing. I think losing one's mother is possibly the hardest thing to go through, so if we make it through this then there is nothing we can't handle. When I feel really sad sometimes, I try to remember how my mom would want me to be. She wouldn't want me to stop living my life and be depressed during the days I have left. She would want me to make her proud and be a good person, and that's what I'm going to try to do. Treasure the memories you have with your mom, and never forget how much she loved you. She knows you loved her too, and wouldn't want you to feel any guilt. One thing we can be thankful for is that our moms' arenÂt suffering any longer, and they now have the most beautiful heavenly bodies. My mom couldn't handle anymore physical pain, and I'm grateful she doesn't have to be trapped inside that failing body anymore. I selfishly want her here with me of course, but she was too good of a person to endure so much pain. Remember, someday soon we will join our moms' again, and be reunited with big hugs from them! Try to make her proud everyday, and remember it's okay to cry too. We will always miss them, but death isn't the end. It's just a temporary separation until we join them again on the other side. Take care and remember you are not alone. You will get through this and always keep your mom's memory in your heart. She may be gone, but her love for you will never die. I wish you well, Lisa

My father died in September, 2006. He had lung cancer, went into remission, then suffered a stroke, and continually weakened. On Labor Day, 2006, he was admitted to the hospital for tests, which revealed that the cancer had returned and there was nothing else to be done. He died at a hospice on September 16th. He never complained, except when he said he knew he wouldn't be going home again and that he didn't want to be alone (we vowed he would never be alone and kept true to that promise.) After the funeral I stayed with Mama to help her with all of the things that needed to be done. The first night I slept in Daddy's bed. I was in a deep sleep and felt the mattress on the side of the bed "give," as if someone was sitting by me. It was so real to me, and didn't scare me, because I felt his presence. Fast forward to last week. Mama came to visit us for the week and we were sitting outside on the patio, talking about Daddy, when all of a sudden, we saw a shooting star. Perhaps we read too much into signs like these, perhaps not. All I know is it gives us such peace, and that's all that matters.