We are lucky in that our current home is a good age-in-place home, and same for MIL. We are all single level ranch and relatively small homes. She has had a walk=in shower too. We would like to add one, and my dreams of a clawfoot tub are probably over. So, although I get 😍😍 on all these old house IG sites, I know it is best to stay in a single level home. Now if I win the mega millions then we can have multiple homes. 😆

My brother has Parkinson’s and having a split level home has been difficult. However, he’s recently had some treatments that have helped him tremendously, and they also added a walk in shower, which they probably should have done a few years ago.

No I don't think you would be preparing too far ahead.

Who knows what tomorrow holds?

In 2015, in our late 50s, we sold both our city home and lake home and bought an aging in place version of each - we're in MN. We said this was the last time we'd move with the idea that eventually we'd get too old to deal with the lake place and would have just one home in the city. These aren't small homes, and though both have a walkout lower level, everything you need is on the main floor unlike our previous homes. The city home is association maintained - snow, yard, etc. The lake place is not and snow and yard care are a burden in my opinion and it's very difficult to find any one competent to do this kind of work.

Well now we are going to sell the lake place and buy a second home in SC - that is the plan anyway. We were never of the mind that we'd want a place in a warmer winter climate but our minds have changed and other factors now make us want to move. We will keep the aging in place, association-maintained home because at this point we expect we would spend some time in MN each year. I also think if we developed significant health problems we'd prefer to be in MN where we have excellent healthcare. And if we live to be old and decrepit we wouldn't want two homes and this one is very good for growing old - we've had several neighbors living here into their 90s.

Time will tell if all goes as currently planned.

I have learned that life has it own set of circumstances that I can not control even with the best laid plans so I live for this moment only and readjust with the punches because honestly the age in place plans are merely an attempt to control the uncontrollable.

My MIL packed up and sold the family home the first time my FIL fell and hurt his hip. Everyone was aghast. It was a large (but not monstrous) home in one of the best neighbourhoods in our city. They had lots of money to hire help to maintain it, but she wanted none of that. No one would ever accuse her of being overly sentimental.

Turns out my FIL kept falling and ended up breaking his hip twice and shortly after developed dementia. I never would have made that decision in her shoes, but in hindsight, it was a smart thing to do and saved us all having to move them while dealing with FILs health issues during a pandemic.

I love our home (we've been here 25 years, raised 2 kids here), and always said they would carry me out in a box. However, as we approach 60, I am feeling as you do about getting a smaller place, travelling more, and letting go of "stuff". I'm starting my Swedish death cleaning today. Can't think of a better way to spend my holidays.

Everyone is different, but I do think that if you're having these concerns at 60, it's not too early to start laying your plans for what you now perceive as future possibilities. I am 60 (DH is a bit younger), and we are both watching our parents age in their homes and seeing the challenges that they're facing. You can't observe these things or be "on standby" as a caretaker of sorts without giving rise to thoughts of what the future may hold, not only for your parents but for yourself and your partner if you have one.

It may be that what our parents go through in physical decline will affect us in exactly the same way. It may be something completely different than that. My mother has mobility issues and I see that things she used to do with ease are now becoming increasingly challenging for her. My grandparents downsized and eventually moved into an assisted living facility in their latter years, but I cannot really envision my parents leaving the home they have built and loved for decades. That said, I also know that they are pragmatic and will do what is needed.

Will I though? Heck if I know. DH and I have purchased a small slice of mountain property (as I've shared here) and are currently talking of what we might want to build there in the future. Living in that environment will present certain challenges as we age that we wouldn't have, should we stay where we are now. That said, I really don't think I want to live my life in a place that doesn't bring me joy, particularly as my life winds down (if allowed the normal progression of events). I do think about things like stairs and property maintenance and driving distances. It all factors in, and there are certainly trade-offs to be considered.

I guess what I'm saying is that it's smart to think about possible eventualities and to plan for them as best you're able or as you desire to do. With each situation being unique, however, that's going to look different for each individual person. I agree with Roarah to an extent, that life is going to unfold as it will no matter what, but I still think we can make our plans based upon what we know now -- and yes, adjust as needed going forward.

I cleaned out my dresser drawers yesterday and got an entire trash bag of stuff! So, I’m pretty happy about that. So much more to go, and DH will not touch any of his old stuff, though he complains he has nowhere to put anything. He’ll just have to come to that conclusion on his own.

If we ever move, we’d have to take MIL with us, since we cannot leave her here. She is single, and there is just DH. Her closest relatives are in Chicago.

Life throws us curve balls when they're not expected, so yes, it's a great idea to think ahead. Years ago I went to a friend's house for the first time and the hallways were very wide. I told her how much I loved it, and she said one reason they bought the house was because it was specifically designed for the previous owners, an elderly couple. There's a bidet in the master bath.

Maybe you can find a similar house with the same offerings/

We built our home 25 years ago when we were 36 and 37 years old. It was our third house and we built with the intention of staying here. So far we have no intentions of moving. We built a home that is one level, with a full, unfinished basement (lots of storage, no living space). We built a 4-car garage with workshop for my husband. Our home is not large (3BR), it's very comfortable for the two of us. We have a sunroom and nice outdoor spaces. We have 4 seasons here, although the older I get, the less I tolerate the winter! We have 2 steps coming up to the front porch (which we never use this entrance), and a step going from the sunroom out to the patio or from the garage out to the patio, so manageable. It's small enough to be easy to maintain/clean and large enough for the two of us. We live near an excellent teaching hospital and another hospital which excels in cardiac health. While our family has gotten smaller, we both have cousins nearby,(one set of cousins are sisters that we are very close to) an aunt and my MIL. We have friends from our childhood and friends made along the way. Our closet friends, which we consider family, and who we never would want to move away from. (You need your tribe!) It's still our intention to stay in this house. Even if we end up moving, we would not leave this area. We love it here!

For us, there is no foreseeable downside to buying a smaller house near Raleigh, NC. DD is within driving distance and the rest of the family are easy flights away. The biggest mental hurdle is that most houses I've seen that fit the aging-in-place parameters are not very charming.

When we designed & built our current home, we did it with aging in place in mind....one floor living, we have an accommodation for an elevator to access the lower level should we need one in the future, but nothing essential is down there. Bench in shower stall with hand held, levers instead of knobs on doors, room to turn a wheel chair in front of toilet, ramp up the side of the house to access the deck and back door...

Many of those features have been used already by me, elderly visitors, or just convenience of opening the door with an elbow when your hands are full. So no, it's never too soon.

But much depends on what you are moving to and how much you have to give up. Our new home is actually larger than our old one so we gave up very little and gained so much. But downsizing is another thing, especially if you are still very active with needs for space for entertaining or visitors, etc.

As a rule, I would rather make a decision, execute a move before my hand is forced. Once the move becomes a necessity it will feel like a loss to me, a concession to a problem, as opposed to a plan freely made. So that would feel like two hits to me, one the problem which percipitated the decision and then the decison basically being a forgone conclusion as opposed to one made freely.

My dad lived in a house with a lot of stairs, and no bedroom OR bathroom on the main floor, until he was 85. However, when he did move, it was an emergency type move to assisted living. Even in a ranch style house, I don’t think he’d be able to live independently now, unless he found a wife to take care of him!

DH and I bought our totally impractical home 4 years ago. Right now it’s still perfect for us, but there is no bedroom on the first floor and you can’t even get into the house without going up several stairs. If something happens to DH, no way would I live here alone. I hope we will have moved to a smaller, more manageable place before either of us dies or becomes incapacitated in some way. But we’re not ready yet.

Meanwhile, I’ll continue to enjoy our impractical, too big house. DH and I both need home offices. We still need extra bedrooms for our kids when they visit; one lives far away and our youngest is planning to move about 2 hours from us next summer. Oldest lives nearby but even he sleeps over occasionally. And we love our neighborhood.

We bought this house thinking of it as a starter home and that we’d move in 3-5 years. We’re still here 21 years later. We’ved added on to make it work better for us and our kids. We joke that since we never moved, there’s no need to downsize. It’s a 1950s ranch with a walkout basement (a mix of finished, semi-finished, and unfinished) We could move the laundry unpstairs and live entirely on the main floor if we needed to.

I'm 57 and I've bought my last three houses (starting at age 42) with the idea they could be forever houses. Clearly two of them were not, and the jury is still out on the current one. My only stipulations were one story with minimal steps to get inside and kitchens/baths that would be modifiable if needed. The current house is a 1954 MCM/Usonian that fits the bill perfectly -- better even than the last two. It has just a small rise at the threshold and no interior level changes. There will likely need to be a full remodel of at least one bathroom in the future, as the narrow doors don't even allow for a walker/rollator/wheelchair to go through (when my late former father-in-law stayed here for a while a few years back, we had to take the hall bath door off the hinges for the rollator to have access).

The garage is detached but under the same roof (connected by a breezeway). There is access to the yard from the LR/DR and the master BR, also with no steps, and the yard itself is level and easily navigated. It's just over 1,600 square feet and very manageable when it comes to cleaning and maintenance.

I had originally planned to sell and move back to Santa Fe when I retire in 7-ish years, but I now have this great boyfriend who is a long-term thing. We're viewing this house as the eventual forever house, with plans to build a shop for him on the back of the lot. When I divorced in 2018 I considered selling and getting something less expensive, but I'm really glad I stayed put.

ETA - I think sometimes people get stubborn as they age -- don't want to downsize, etc. -- because they consciously or subconsciously expect their children to take care of everything and fill in the gaps. I don't have kids, so I've always made plans with the best possible outcome for self-sufficiency in mind.

We built our current home 23 years ago (in our 50’s) with the idea we could live here as long as possible. It is single story with wide hallways, and almost all doorways 36” (wide enough to accommodate a wheelchair). Of course the property itself is higher maintenance than many people want to handle at 9 acres. About half is wooded and i have too many gardens. I’m 74 and DH is 2 years older; we both enjoy great health but realize we have slowed down in pace. He thoroughly enjoys working on projects outside, as do I but we realize there will be a day when we cannot take care of all this on our own.

Our lake condo is easy maintenance but we’re thinking of selling it simply because we don’t use it as much as we did when the grandkids were smaller.

jakabedy, in my situation I think the aging parents got stubborn because they didn't want to admit that they were struggling and give up their perception of control. In my inlaw's case, it got so bad that we had to swoop in and do everything anyways because they were physically and emotionally incapable. My parents are doing okay but we are one illness or injury away from another swooping situation.

I think it's smart to think of those things that are likely to happen. My friend had what he thought was going to be his forever home, two story with laundry in the basement. He had not thought about having trouble navigating the stairs in their old age. Well, his wife said she wanted to sell this home and buy a condo with one level and no more maintenance outside. He was pretty much devastated by having to move but practically speaking, they really did need a place more suited to their old age, both in their late 70s. He had not thought at all about getting OLD...HAHA!

Both DH and I are in our 60's, and that's when things started to happen. Not just to us, but our friends too. DH got hit with 3 major illnesses in a span of 5 years. He's doing great, seems normal, but he's tired a lot and it's a must that he sleeps in a recliner. So buy a recliner, which I've used after surgeries.

Wood floors are great for walkers and wheel chairs.

When we remodeled our house and added a large front porch, they gave me the choice of the depth of the porch steps, and I chose deep depth which is so much easier and safer.

For now, decide on the basics you'd need if you were to break a leg, have surgery, or anything that makes you immobile. Which reminds me, I'm going to order a bidet attachment for the toilet, which is a must, IMO.

We built our house in 1980 and once all the carpet was replaced with wood, we're good to go!

My in-laws retired in 2012 to their Caribbean home, a one-story however there are stairs down to the laundry which is entered from the outside. Forward to 2019, after a major accident in which my mother-in-law had to be Air evacuated to Puerto Rico, and they've decided to leave. And their house has been on sale for 5 years as they're trying to get to Florida. They thought that was going to be their retirement home.

We built our Austin home, at the age of 39, believing that was going to be her forever home. It had open concept, one story living, almost zero level exit to the backyard. But because we were still working there were significant changes in my husband's career field and we had to move.

After several moves we're finally in Raleigh North Carolina and recently built another one story home with the intent to retire as a forever home. The only stairs are the front entry and three in the back. All LVP floors with open concept.

With all our moves I'm skeptical that we'll stay. But it's our intent to do so no matter what life throws us regarding jobs.

We downsized a bit almost 8 years ago but went from having our bedroom on first floor to upstairs. We are early/mid 60's and have no problem with stairs at this point but realize it could happen. There is a full bath and a room on the first floor that could be a bedroom if need be. We are casually looking for our next stop...a smaller home on one floor with an ADU or in-law for our disabled son. A unicorn property but we are in no rush. I live near Raleigh and you can find a charming home on one floor, but it may take a while. This area is growing soooo quickly that most of the housing stock is relatively new and more "builder basic".

We started looking for a single level house when I was 60, because stairs weren't getting any easier in our 1915 house. DH was 55 and in excellent condition, but he had always preferred houses that were built in the '50's. I kept up with the local real estate market anyway, so I just started paying more attention to places with age-in-place potential instead of the historic monsters that I love. It was sort of casual without a sense of urgency. I certainly wasn't going to pay for remodelled bathrooms or kitchen that I didn't love. We found the perfect house in about 2 years. We moved knowing that we'd remodel the kitchen and bathrooms and add a laundry closet on the main floor. It was hard to leave a house I loved, but I knew it was the right thing to do. I love the layout of this house! It "lives bigger" than the square footage would lead one to think. I have a kitchen and bathrooms that are exactly what I want because I chose everything.

We moved at the right time. Surprisingly, it was DH who had a health crisis that made this house a life-saver. 7 years after moving, stairs are almost impossible for me, which was completely expected because of a medical condition.

Could we decide that MN winters are too much and move? Possible, but not probable. I'd think long and hard about being more than a 2-hour drive from the Mayo Clinic.

We retired to a lovely house in a semi rural area, knowing it was an interim house (stairs, big lot, not much in the way of local  health facilities) and enjoyed almost ten years in a gorgeous spot, before making the "forever" move to where we are now. We have a single story house in a seaside town, and are within walking distance of supermarkets, dentists, doctors, lawyers, two private hospitals, plus cafes, restaurants, and a pretty good selection of shops. Ten minute walk to the beach.  

My better half had a heart attack (totally not on the cards, given his health, fitness cholesterol levels) so being a 20 minute drive to the nearest public hospital, which has an excellent ER and cardiology unit, turned out to be a lot more important than good views :)  And he can do most of the follow up at the local private hospital.  He's also had to pretty much give up driving because of vision  issues, so, again, walking distance matters.

We're about an hour by car to a  very large city, and occasionally take the bus and train up, but almost everything we need or want is within 5km of our front door.  That's become a big factor for us.

Two years ago, we decided to sell our home of 33 years and move. Our reasons for moving were related to excessively hot summers, wildfire danger and the ever increasing number of pot growers showing up on the forested mountain and decimating the forest where we lived. It was a beautiful spot and a beautiful home, but it no longer brought us joy; it had become a source of anxiety and anger.

There was no doubt that we wanted to relocate to the coastal town where we'd been spending summers to escape the summer heat. We started looking and ended up in our current home which is the complete opposite of what we intended to buy. It is a nearly 100 year old farmhouse on 2/3 acre of land that backs up to a greenbelt of redwood trees. Two stories with a spiral staircase, it is completely and totally impractical for aging in place. But, we love it.

We never thought we'd be in our mid 60's and restoring a neglected old house, but that is exactly what we are doing. We have finished the downstairs and will start work on the upstairs this spring. It was an attic and in the 1970s the previous owners installed a bathroom, a small bedroom and a very large family room up there. Our intention is to enlarge the bathroom, put in a large tile or stone shower, add a walk-in closet and turn the family room into our master bedroom. The former small bedroom has become my art/jewelry studio.

Of course, with 2/3 acre, comes yard work. Fortunately, I enjoy maintaining and adding to the established gardens and hubby doesn't mind mowing the meadow on his riding lawnmower.

We remodeled the downstairs bathroom last spring and installed a grab bar next to the toilet and one in the bath/shower. Even though I don't need it, I use the grab bar next to the toilet all the time. I broke my knee a few years ago and it is not as strong as it once was. While I can get up from the toilet on my own, the grab bar makes it so much easier.

It is our intention to live here as long as we possibly can and we have given thought to how we will manage that. Of course, our first plan is that we will have no major health issues and will continue to bound up and down the stairs well into our 90s. Plan B is that the master suite could be turned into living quarters for a live in caretaker who would help with cleaning, cooking and assisting us as needed. What is now my studio could become a sort of kitchenette with small fridge and a microwave and a caretaker would have full access to the kitchen downstairs anyway so not really an issue. We would move into the downstairs guest room and live on the first floor. People could be hired to do yard work and maintenance/repairs on the house if and when we no longer can do those things.

We are also open to the idea that we may not be able to stay here. If and when that happens, we'd sell this place and either move into a small house or into an independent living facility. Or, assisted if that is what we need. The previous owner lived here until she was 94 and I'm hoping we will be able to do the same. Looking back, I only wish we could have moved into this place 30 years ago, but it wasn't on the market then and we were still quite happy on the mountain back in those days. One thing I've learned is that life has a way of upending the most carefully thought out plans, so we plan for what we can, expect the unexpected and play the cards we are dealt.

We were this close 🤏🏻 to selling when DH got sick last year. So happy we procrastinated and didn’t move from our home of 40 years. The house is bigger then we now need, but it is one story and 2 of the bathrooms have big, walk in showers.

Once he was almost fully recovered, I received a scary diagnosis.

If we had completed the purchase of the ‘no outside maintenance’ villa, we would be living over 35 miles from the medical facilities and doctors who we both are now frequently booked for appointments. Where we are is 3 miles from our doctors and hospitals.

I still can not believe how quickly our lives of being extremely healthy changed.

We are glad we didn’t move. If I could get rid of the pool, our current old house is perfect for our needs.

I have a raised ranch(over a basement) and at some point I may want to put in an indoor electric stariway from garage to living level. If I decide to stay that long.

I have a feeling that my reason to move would have more to do with not being able to keep up with my super large yard and flower beds. If I cannot afford all outdoor yard care, and can do nothing on my own anymore, I would want to move. I could not bare to watch it all go downhill. The other deciding factor is which daughter wants me close (or neither). I am 69 .

I think the posts reveal how unreliable projections/ expectations of "physical old age" are, even projections based on a relative's experiences. If you'd feel less anxious knowing you were very close to good medical care, even if you end up not needing that care, then you can recognize the value of that peace of mind and plan for it. If you know house care duties are already not tasks that "spark joy", you can recognize that and plan accordingly. But no house can be a guarantee of the physical results a person might hope for as they age.

I also don't think you are getting ahead of yourself. If you knew you only had ten years left, where would you like to spend those years? Place matters to a lot of us and no one is guaranteed time.

We've had that "ten year" conversation - the idea that being in our mid-60s we might have another ten "good" years left during which we will be physically and mentally fit to do things. So where and how do we want to spend that precious time? That's what led to our decision to make another move. Yeah, we might have one day or twenty years but we just have to make some assumptions and go with that.

Recent high real estate prices are expected to come down, maybe at some point that rented apartment can be moved out of and into a townhouse if nothing else.

Maddielee - I don't know if you've thought about it but you can have the pool demolished. Two of my former neighbors had it done. One neighbor had just bought the house and decided it was cheaper and quicker to 'bury' the pool than have it totally redone. They also had a beach house so the pool wasn't important.

It was an interesting process. First the pool was drained and the bottom was cracked and large holes punched in places for drainage, then the pool deck and top few feet of the sides were removed and dumped into the pool. Then it was filled with gravel and dirt and landscaped. It took about 3 days and they never had an issue with drainage or a sinking.

The other neighbor had a pie-shaped lot and wanted to put on an addition and the pool would have been in the way. Our township's code required them to completely remove the pool since they wanted to build in that spot.

@amykath - I can understand how you feel and I remember the photos of your beautiful home but as you say, it isn't the home that truly brings happiness in life. I think of you at times in comparison to a good friend of mine. She not only lives in a rental but she describes it as a "dorm room". She is a long term renter of what I think used to be a hotel room. It's kind of a studio apartment but it doesn't have a full kitchen - just a small fridge and microwave. She's always rented but usually a one-bedroom apartment. The last time I saw one of her apartments it was full of packed moving boxes and had been that way for probably a couple years. The current situation was supposed to be temporary but it's been that way for years too. I do feel very fortunate to have a house as I grew up in an apartment from 7th grade through high school. When I think about my friend and if I lived in an apartment I tell myself I would make it my own cozy, homey abode that made me happy - no matter how small. That is what you do though you have much more talent than I so I'm sure mine would never be as nice as yours. 🥰

3katz, you are so thoutful and warm hearted Thanks for the kind words! I never considered i would be here this long You are right. Knowing I will likely be here for many more years, I should just make it my own Screw the rules of the complex and just do whatever I want!

My home was purchased as my forever home 7 years ago at 55. I love my home but after living in it for this length of time I think we will probably be here another 10 years or so, then we will move to a home with less maintenance. The set-up in the community of our desert home would be great if I could find something similiar here. Of course, I may change my mind.

My MIL who is 85 is leaving her large 2 story, 5 bedroom, forever home within the next week. I would say she is a success in staying in her long term home, although it was not for her full life. She will no longer own a home, she is moving in with my DH and I. The stairs have been hard for her and she has been lonely. We will see how it goes, she was not sure if she would prefer a senior apartment, assisted living or staying with us. We are testing the waters to see how we all feel about her living with us. Hoping it goes well.

Aktillery9, there is a lot of freedom in renting. I know people who can well afford to buy but who have instead rented for years because they do not want the hassle of yard work, upkeep, etc. of a home. To them, their time is more valuable. I did a cost-analysis once of renting vs. buying, and there's not much difference on average, and especially considering property taxes (they are high around here) and all of the other costs of owning a house. Sure, a condo or townhome is far less maintenance, but there are HOAs and other fees, and can generally be less appreciation (again, in my area).

You have time that would otherwise be spent on a house. Any homeowner can add up the hours spent on a house, and divide it by the true appreciation of the investment minus all the costs... my FIL used to say all it adds up to is pride of ownership.

Thanks Feathers! That makes me feel better. :)

We had talked about buying another home at one point. DH bought this home right when i met him. But when we looked at other homes that were realistic in our budget, the commute often wound up really bad for one of us, so we’ve stayed put since we have a decent commute, though still car based. Makes no sense to move and stay within our neighborhood. And certain homes and neighborhoods we’ve always loved were out of reach then and are really out of reach now! As I mentioned, our home is better for aging in place and low in energy use.

I have coworkers that have an hour plus commute each way and they just go with the flow. I would not want to do that. DH also hired someone who has about a 45 minute commute with no traffic.