Yeah. If anything at all, just a card. Adults especially should not really expect anything else.

A card says you care.;;;a courtesy they did not give you.. I would go with a card.

I am so sorry your feelings have been hurt. Just remember, like an ill behaved pet, a child is not responsible for his upbringing. These people do not know any better.

I would send a card to mark occasions, just to make myself feel good. There is no need to do anything for people who wish to live lonely, isolated lives.

just a card or nothing.

A card is fine if you must do snail mail. Are you connected with them on social media, do you have their email addresses? Do they have yours? Are you in touch with them enough to know they are okay, not depressed?

For my family, we've gone to texting "happy birthday" instead of cards, emails, or fb posts. Keeps things direct and simple. None of us miss the cards.

A phone call is okay and might be more appreciated. My kids check the mail maybe once or sometimes twice a week, at best. I don't think they see their mail boxes as places where things of interest or value arrive.

When I have something physical for one of my them that can't be scanned and sent attached to an email, I need to let them know to anticipate getting the item by mail and about when they should check their mailboxes. Even with that, a week can pass before they do so.

I'm sorry your feelings were hurt, @Annegriet. It's funny how in some years, everyone will remember my birthday and and in other years, only one or two will remember. It does hurt my feelings when they can't even send a quick text. They all have digital calendars. How hard would it be to have a annual reminder of their aunt's birthday and to take two seconds to send a text?

I admit that I've let their lack of caring and contact affect my generosity. I still remember them with a birthday card and a Christmas wreath, but that's it. I don't like letting the relationship deteriorate, but I figure by keeping in contact twice per year, I've left the door open if they want to walk through it.

Nickel---I am not on social media. We do text occasionally. I usually send the first text. They are not depressed. They are thriving.

Send them nothing...the same that they are sending you. Evidently, they are telling you they

don't want to do the exchanging thing anymore. Hopefully they will get it and care enough

to be ashamed of themselves.

Annegriet, it's good they are not in distress.

What can I say, then, except "kids these days" ... they've grown up in a different world. Floods of cheaply made goods. A tidal wave of electronic messaging. No wonder they don't value monetary gifts the same way I did; or that to them, snail mail = junk mail. It's hard to break through to them. I hope you keep the door open, and that someday they will let you know they appreciate the fact that you know and care for them.

We stop when they reach 18. DH still wants to send his niece who is his goddaughter, a check for Christmas.

My husband had an aunt who never married or had children, but had several great neices and nephews that she remembered with a small gift for birthdays and Christmas. She also made a donation to a favorite charity in honor of each of our familys for Christmas. The year our daughter turned 18, we got the Christmas card with the the note about what was donated and a check for our son. Our daughter said it looked like Aunt Mary forgot her this year. i didnt know for sure, but told her I thought she had probably aged out.

I have 17 nieces and nephews and about 30+ great nieces and nephews. NO, I do not buy them gifts. I would need a second job for that alone. I don't even buy my own kids birthday gifts. They're adults now. They have jobs and buy what they want when they want it. They get a card and a "Happy Birthday" from us and that's it. The only time we buy OUR children gifts is Christmas. My grandson is another story. He gets birthday gifts and will until he's at least 18.

I stoped after College graduation.

I don't understand the cutting people off as they become adults. A card, a small gift of a plant, flowers, cookies, no need to be spendy, but letting people know you are cheering them on as they enter adulthood seems like a nice thing to do. I truly appreciated the thoughtful gestures I was greeted with as I moved through my 20s, many visible milestones that decade, but many invisible as well.

Of course I wanted for nothing, so that actually tends to make people more generous, which is perverse.

Children are inherently selfish and have no idea of what the world is like outside their home. Giving them gifts is fine, but they take that for granted. Young adults, I find, could use some moral support.

IDK as people age they move beyond the gift giving/receiving stage except some very special ones. My children have one aunt out of 6 that remember them on their birthdays...they are all adults and frankly they find it curious. At some point gifting ends and it seems your nieces/nephews chose the time. Respect their wishes and send a card--something HILARIOUS and they will appreciate the laugh.

We also stopped the monetary or gift at either at 18 or when they graduated college.

I used send birthday cards until a simple card went up t $5.

Now I send them a text and call and sing H.B to them. (I'm sure they appreciate the song-- /sarcasm)

One or two will send a text to us on our birthdays.

My Mom used to send money to g'kids and g'g'kids. When they didn't send/or call with a thank you, or even acknowledging they received it, she stopped. Don't blame her one bit.

I hope they were thanking you for your gifts in the past. Hand written notes are not as commonplace as they used to be but hopefully there was an email with a thank you? By not sending you so much as a Christmas card ( and their Grandparents as well ) they are making a statement that they do not wish to exchange gifts or cards in the future. I would send them nothing. Perhaps a Merry Christmas email if I felt the spirit.

We put in a $2 scratch off for the ones after college graduation.

Thank you so much for all of the thoughtful responses. I don't know why I haven't been able to let this go in my mind. Christmas was ages ago. I guess maybe I'm just sad that they don't care about my feelings at all. To be honest, in general, I'm just tired of "that's how millennials think/do". Right now I'm going to go with a birthday card and phone call. It shows I care but I don't feel like a sucker. I'm going to take the $ I would have spent on the them and do something else with it.

I don’t have a problem not getting a card. It’s the not acknowledging the gift that I struggle with.