Ready to help with more dress shopping?

last year

last modified: last year

Now that we've got bbstx outfitted, do we have the energy for another round?

My DD2 is graduating high school at the end of June. I need a dress for the dinner. Not too fancy, not too casual.

I do not like wearing dresses and had focused my search on finding wide leg dress pants and blouse, but she tells me, she really thinks I should wear a dress.

The criteria: longish sleeves (at least elbow length), midi length, darker colour, I prefer structured, but depends on the dress.

These are two I like, but they are pricey. Honestly, I'd prefer not to spend anything as I'm pretty sure I'll never wear it again, but my budget is probably anything below $250 US.

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daisychain Zn3b
Original Author

last year

last modified: last year

Formal gowns. I think what you would refer to as prom dresses. Now that I think of it, this is maybe our equivalent to prom, but parents are invited for the first half of the evening and there is a sit down dinner.

Sorry for the lack of response. It's a bit of a nutty time. In the next 2-3 weeks, I've got both my dad's and DFILs end of life events (both passed last summer), two graduations, and after following my mom's wishes that she stay in her own home as long as possible, it's become impossible and I'm having to deal with moving her. I think I can scoot to a store or two tonight just to see if I can't find something suitable without ordering online. It's so true that the details of a dark dress are hard to distinguish in pics and there is also the fact that I have a phobia about online returns. Wish me luck!

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Comments (69)

daisychain Zn3b
Original Author
last year
last modified: last year
I guess I should say that I feel more comfortable with sleeves and longer length rather than that I have to wear them. Same with the darker colours. I just don't feel at home in those summery looks.

Rubyclaire, can it be tied up a bit tighter at the waist to bring the neckline in? I think that might work, but I'm a c cup and I'm worried it will be too open.

Rubyclaire, the first dress is by Reiss and I think it is called the Darcy dress. I found it at a Canadian website, but I think Reiss is carried by US stores like Nordstrom.
bbstx
last year
Geez, you’d think that I’d be able to pull up the perfect dress with my eyes closed. I think I found the end of the dress-internet!

I agree that it is hard to see details when looking at a black or navy dress online. I often pull it up in a lighter/brighter color to see the details even if I end up buying it in one of the darker colors.

Daisy, are there any brands that you are especially fond of?
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Bumblebeez SC Zone 7
last year
I would not buy an outfit that I would not wear again unless it was something Uber special like mother of the bride or a special wedding that sort of thing. I definitely think for this event you can find something that you would wear again, even if it's a casual dress that can be dressed up. Otherwise I wouldn't spend a lot of money on it. Having said all that I have spent a lot of money on events for one time things and at the end of the event had mixed emotions, having felt good but also having felt that a wasted a lot of money because it really wasn't that necessary.
rubyclaire
last year
@daisychain yes, it has two buttons on the inside to adjust for fit in addition to the waist tie that can modify fit. Lots of coverage - I’m a 34DD and usually have problems with this style.

I also remembered that I bought this in part that they have a “try on” program - you can order, they put a “hold” on your card and then when you return what you don’t want, they then charge your card for what you kept. I tried a small, medium and large and liked the fit of the medium best. Hope that helps!
Mama Cita
last year
Daisychain, just commiserating — My own teen recently ordered me — and it was most definitely an order — to change my outfit before meeting her prom date’s parents. And like your daughter, the difference between what I planned and what she wanted was pretty subtle. I complied but I was a little stunned too!
blfenton
last year
This is probably just me but I do have a problem with thigh-high slits on older women.
yeonassky
last year
Yes I had the same thing happen to me. I complied but did not buy a dress. I bought a two piece. Perhaps you could go with a skirt and a shell and a light weight jacket or perhaps a shawl? Then you might get more use out of it.

I used the top and jacket many many times. Only used the silver skirt a couple of more times. I still have it and have found that I am regaining interest in it . I am into sewing right now so will modify it.
pricklypearcactus
last year
I like the first dress you posted a lot. Very chic.

Here are a couple of ideas. Not entirely sure if they fit your style.

https://www.dillards.com/p/1.-state-split-collar-ruffle-hi-low-midi-dress/510422785

https://www.macys.com/shop/product/dkny-3-4-sleeve-faux-wrap-dress?ID=13755984&RVI=PDP_2&tdp=cm_choiceId~z13755984~xcm_pos~zPos2

https://www.macys.com/shop/product/alfani-womens-tie-waist-shirtdress-created-for-macys?ID=13675565&CategoryID=5449

https://www.zappos.com/p/lauren-ralph-lauren-jersey-matte-midi-dress-violet-amethyst/product/9377049/color/995758

https://www.anthropologie.com/shop/v-neck-knot-front-midi-dress?category=dresses-midi&color=001&type=STANDARD&quantity=1
bbstx
last year

https://www.dillards.com/p/eliza-j-tie-waist-34-sleeve-a-line-midi-dress/508293787?cm_mmc=affiliate--73861--deeplink-_-null&clickId=3980383656

I follow a blog called ”Susan after 60.” She recommended this dress as wedding-guest attire. She suggested styling it with nude shoes, a nice belt, and a small clutch
daisychain Zn3b
Original Author
last year
Oh, you guys get me, you really, really get me. I'll have to see if Dillard's ships to Canada, but between Land's End, Able, and Anthro, I think I've got at least 3 solid contenders.

Blf, not just you. I'd have to stitch any with a slit.

yeonaskky, I love that idea, but it just seems like even more work to find 3 pieces. I really like the accordian pleated skirts that are out now, but, again, putting 3 pieces together seems overwhelming. I should probably find time to go the mall.
colduphere
last year
Fellow Canadian here. I often have success at Laura and Cleo. Good quality and price point. Not alot of good choices right now. Here are acouple of options that might fit your criteria.

https://www.laura.ca/en/laura/clothing/dresses/3%2F4-sleeve-scoop-neck-dress/3010101-1463.html?dwvar_3010101-1463_color=001&start=47&ccgid=laura-clothing-dresses-day-dresses#size=82&start=47

https://www.cleo.ca/pleated-chiffon-midi-dress/8292CR102210065.html?dwvar_8292CR102210065_colour=Black%2FWhite%20Dots&dwvar_8292CR102210065_AIP=Regular#prefn1=rise&prefv1=Midi&start=1&sz=36&gsizelink=four

Melanie Lyne is another option although can be pricier

https://www.melanielyne.com/en/clothing/dresses/adrianna-papell---tie-neck-dress/6010101-1700.html?dwvar_6010101-1700_color=180&start=5&ccgid=melanie-lyne-clothing-dresses#size=358&start=5
colduphere
last year
Not sure if you are close enough to in-person shop at Anthropologie but returns from Canada on online purchases are awful!
bbstx
last year
Daisy, don’t discount the dreaded Spanx. I bought this dress to wear to one of the upcoming wedding festivities. It was okay, but the fit wasn’t exactly what I wanted. My middle (or I guess on my round shape, it would be an ”equator”) needed smoothing.

I bought this shapewear at Target.

The dress looks much nicer when I wear the shapewear. The level of compression is medium. It is not hot; it isn’t hard to get into and it lays nicely while I’m wearing it.

Also, don’t discount dresses that appear quite short on the models. I’m 5’6”. Dresses that are mini-length on models are knee-length on me.
Annie Deighnaugh
last year
Sorry, not a fan of the 2 in the OP....the dolman sleeves add a lot of volume to the top that can be unflattering....the 2nd has what looks to be potentially very deep armholes which I would not find comfortable to wear. And this is a happy occasion. The black looks more funerial rather than celebratory.
Bumblebeez SC Zone 7
last year
My favorite of everything shown is the very first one you posted.
Funkyart
last year
I am sad to see black relegated to funerals. While I am iffy on black for a daytime wedding, i think it's a stunning color and appropriate for many events-- especially in the styles shared in the OP. They are anything but somber styles.
Annie Deighnaugh
last year
Rather than being relegated to funerals, the LBD has become ubiquitous. It's just those in the OP give me that impression. But YMMV and how it's accessorized will make a difference too. (Maybe for me it's bad associations from religious classes!)
daisychain Zn3b
Original Author
last year
last modified: last year
bbstx, I am def wearing the spanx. I will not wear a dress without sausaging myself into my thigh to chest body smoother first.

Bumblebeez, that is my fave too, but it's over $550 US and while I can afford it, I can't justify it.

A few months ago, I watched a fashion vlogger who said that if you wear black, to always break it up with a warm colour. She suggested things like camis, gold jewelry, brown leather belts, scarves, etc. It makes the black less harsh and I've found myself wearing more black again. It really is what you're comfortable with though, isn't it? I've got a petite friend with curly blonde hair. She loves wearing colours, florals, patterns, paints her toes ten different colours, etc. While I can appreciate them on her, I'd feel like a clown. And I couldn't get her to wear a sophisticated black, no matter the occasion.
Kswl
last year
Do people wear dresses with a slit like that in the first dress to a kid’s graduation dinner? The dress is okay but looks like a date night dress to me. The only one I like of all those above is the Ralph Lauren wrap dress. When my kids graduated from high school i wore a summer dress and my DH wore khaki pants and a blue blazer each time. Only one was at night followed by a dinner reception at a country club and we were dressed just like everybody else. It’s been twelve years since the youngest one’s HS graduation, and we aren’t Amish or anything. (Not that there’s anything wrong with being Amish!)
daisychain Zn3b
Original Author
last year
last modified: last year
I think our grad traditions must be different here. We have a convocation day where they get their diplomas and awards and have a garden party afterwards. Students wear a white sundress. Parents would wear like you describe, kswl.

The next night is the formal night where the grads wear their gowns, get all done up, and it is held in a ballroom at a hotel with a sit down dinner. I really think I'd be fine in pants and a blouse, but most women wear cocktail-type dresses and men wear suits. Having said that, I still can't get over how the pandemic has changed how we dress. At work, we used to have a strict dress code and now, it seems anything but jeans is allowed. Many staff now wear runners. Two years ago that was unheard of. So who knows, maybe now most will be in pants and I'd fit right in. Just have to convince DD.
martinca_gw sunset zone 24
last year
if its that dressy, look at wedding pant suits.

if
1929Spanish-GW
last year
What about a jumpsuit? Here are a couple from Macy’s.

Close up of #2
1929Spanish-GW
last year
What about a jumpsuit? Here are a couple from Macy’s.

Close up of #2
Annie Deighnaugh
last year
last modified: last year
I think part of my problem is longer sleeves with longer hem is very covered up, especially for summer. I'd try to show more arm with a longer length or hemmed to the knee with arms covered. Perhaps a dress with a jacket might be more suited to the occasion, esp if there's AC in the place ... I always freeze. This an example from Macy's...still dressy, but the print makes it a little more festive. https://www.macys.com/shop/product/r-m-richards-womens-printed-dress-jacket?ID=13878665&RVI=BROWSE_1&tdp=cm_choiceId~z13878665~xcm_pos~zPos1
Annie Deighnaugh
last year
While I enjoy participating in these threads, I always struggle as we don't really know each other's styles. The ones I have met, I can see the styles they suggest would be perfect for them. In the same way, I lean toward simple classic lines and those are what I tend to suggest but may not work for someone who is more artsy or more trendy or more casual. Plus build makes such a difference in terms of what they can wear...I'm smaller and have to be so careful as to not look like "where's the dress going with that girl" whereas others with more stature can carry a lot more dress. So they're fun, but it's easy to miss the mark for the OP, IYKWIM. And it does fill my media with ads of dresses....so much better than when DH has me hunting a belt or battery for his tractor!
nicole___
last year
I'm in LOVE with the first dress...AND the shoes! WOW! That would out class...out STYLE just about anyone else in the room. ❤️ I can't suggest anything better. I own a winter one that's similar with a turtleneck, no slit...it doesn't flow like that one...and the leg slit is awesome....and the buttons at the neck are awesome....
Funkyart
last year
A few more ideas..

There is the iconic DVF wrap dress-- this one on sale right around the top of your budget but so many brands offer similar. I especially like the long length of this dress -- i think it makes it very adaptable and i love long line dresses. I have this style/length from Leota and just love it.

For spring, I would wear it with aqua or turquoise jewelry-- but i think any color you like would lighten it up for spring.

Picking up on the jumpsuit idea.. this is from Eliza J -- a great style for a pear shape. I had a similar style jumpsuit and wore the heck out of it.. to work, dinners, funerals. Mine was black-- this one is navy.

And finally this one from Anthro -- love that it is flowy even with long sleeves
bbstx
last year
My sister often wears this style. She says it covers a multitude of sins. I think it looks elegant in navy. I’d probably hem it up to mid-knee.

https://www.drapers.com/product/special-occasion-flirty-two-piece-dress?id=42452952d1c9489abf657fd89a4ca07c&category=/womens-clothing/dresses-skirts/
eld6161
last year
last modified: last year
Daisy, thank you for explaining. Now I understand why your DD suggested you wear a dress as you will be seen with all the other parents.

I would ask other mom’s what they are doing. Also, how are you seated? Do you have friends that you can sit with? This might sway just how fancy.

Even if others wear pants, I like how your DD wants you to look extra special for this occasion.
Kswl
last year
Yes, Daisy, thanks for the explanation! That is very different. Our kids had graduation banquets for prizes handed out and college choices announced and parents were invited to that but it wasn’t formal. The kids had a formal dance the parents did not attend, pictures were taken at individual parties in homes prior to the dance. I think it’s very nice the parents are invited to an event like that! Any one of the dresses posted here would probably work, but flowing palazzo pants and the fancy top would work also.
carolb_w_fl_coastal_9b
last year
last modified: last year
Skipped down to add that as a person with an expanded waistline, my solution is to wear a matching skirt and top - either blouson or bloused with a slim belt.

Empire waisted dresses and full skirts work as well.
beckysharp Reinstate SW Unconditionally
last year
last modified: last year
Just a note that returns to Lands End from Canada can be pricey too.

What about this dress, from Simons? It's silk and CAD $250,

https://www.simons.ca/en/women-clothing/dresses/midi/belted-pure-silk-shirtdress--13964-208960?catId=8513&colourId=1

This one is linen, CAD $275,

https://www.simons.ca/en/women-clothing/dresses/midi/ruffled-linen-straight-dress--17406-101876?catId=8513&colourId=1

This one is dark blue, CAD $239,

https://www.simons.ca/en/women-clothing/dresses/midi/nocturnal-jacquard-wraparound-dress--17935-20116235?catId=8513&colourId=41

Eileen Fisher also has some nice dresses, I think the Bay carries them.

Are there any good, better quality consignment stores in Winnipeg? What about independent boutiques? I recently discovered Kate Hewko in Calgary, and I'm trying to figure out where on the farm I could wear one of these : ) ,

https://www.katehewko.com/collections/dresses-sets/products/ombre-glam-dress?variant=39617055227975

https://www.katehewko.com/collections/dresses-sets/products/solid-tiered-tassel-dress?variant=39580737306695

https://www.katehewko.com/collections/dresses-sets/products/petal-sleeve-mock-neck-dress?variant=39578064355399

https://www.katehewko.com/collections/dresses-sets/products/tiered-tassel-dress?variant=39418755285063
Annie Deighnaugh
last year
I like the blue one bbstx posted...
Tina Marie
last year
last modified: last year
I'm not sure your age Daisy, that factors in. I think the layered blue dress and the dress/jacket may be a bit mature looking for your age (I'm guessing about your age!!! LOL). I understand why your daughter would like you to wear a dress, but I agree with the fancy pants/top and love some of the jumpsuits. Maybe you could show her some of the pix and see what she thinks. I hate to buy something I will not wear again and on top of that, something I'm not really comfortable in. Keep us posted!
eld6161
last year
last modified: last year
Tina, she meantioned she is 57. I agree that factors in.
HU-977136802
last year
Where do you live? I would be roasting now in most of these outfits. I like to weat two pieces dresses that include a light sweater or jacket. Best of both worlds. Or short sleeves with a shawl.
just_terrilynn
last year
last modified: last year
I’m also wondering where you live. Anyhoo, I get what you are saying about spending money on a dress you may never wear again. The last black dress I bought is sitting in my closet with one wear. If it was your style I would pass it on just to give it a home.

SaksOff5th has a coupon code good for today with up to an addional 25% off …THERUSH . Maybe you can find something that won’t make you regret a one wear purchase.

This is one of those dresses where you don’t know if that heamline wrap part in the front gets too risky till you try it on. If theres an additional 25% off the $59.99 it could be worth a try.

P.S maybe a little self tanner on your arms will make you feel better?
Annie Deighnaugh
last year
Somehow I missed that the girls will be in gowns, so forget the printed jacket dress...not formal enough, though I still like the idea of a 2-piece dress...
bbstx
last year
I’m assuming ”gowns” are of the ”cap and gown” variety not of the ballroom variety. Which, Daisy?
Funkyart
last year
oh my you have so much on your plate, Daisy!! I do hope you have good luck at your local stores this evening-- I don't know about Canada but stores aren't stocking so much these days. Here in my town, we have a great local boutique that is pretty well stocked for the season. Maybe you have something similar there?

This to follow is my opinion and recommendation-- others may disagree-- but I would focus on finding something you are comfortable in, looks nice and is appropriate. Basically the dress/pants that works well enough that you and your family to enjoy the event I wouldn't try to find THE PERFECT DRESS. There's so much stress around finding the perfect this or that. You look great in whatever you wear and you will be glowing with pride. Do the best you can with the least effort and stress!
bbstx
last year
Ok. I was 180 degrees wrong on the gowns, then!

Bless your heart. You’ve got a lot on your plate! Would your DD have time to go shopping for you? She could bring home an array of dresses for you to try…then return the rejects.

Is there a Bay Department Store near you? If so, maybe one of these dresses will work.

The first with the capelet is a style I’ve mentioned my sister likes for what the cape will hide. The second reminds me of the cute dress Sueb found. It also comes in a plummy color.

https://www.thebay.com/product/ignite-evening-embellished-asymmetrical-cape-mini-dress-0600092357820.html?dwvar_0600092357820_color=BLACK

https://www.thebay.com/product/ignite-evening-tiered-shift-dress-0600090296739.html?dwvar_0600090296739_color=NAVY

This one is my favorite. Could be because I have a similar one except sleeveless.

https://www.thebay.com/product/eliza-j-long-lace-sleeve-cocktail-midi-dress-0600092364129.html?dwvar_0600092364129_color=BLACK
jill302
last year
(((Daisy))) - No new recommendations just hugs, you have a lot on your plate.
pricklypearcactus
last year
Sorry I didn't realize originally that you're shipping to Canada. I'm making an assumption here that Amazon will ship to Canada. These are some pretty Adrianna Papell options.

This one definitely deviates from the styles you originally posted, but it is a midi-length, sleeves down to the elbows, and comes in a few dark colors. I think it's really pretty for a special occasion.

https://www.amazon.com/Adrianna-Papell-Womens-Beaded-Cassis/dp/B09BG8P3DN/?th=1&psc=1

This one seems closer to the styles you showed and looks very elegant. Of course in black it's a little hard to see the details, but they look pretty.

https://www.amazon.com/Adrianna-Papell-Womens-Jersey-Pleated/dp/B09BG8446C/?th=1&psc=1

Adrianna Papell also makes some lovely evening jumpsuits. A lot of jumpsuits seem to be sleeveless, but these are some pretty ones with sleeves.

https://www.amazon.com/Adrianna-Papell-Womens-Jumpsuit-Rosegold/dp/B07NW17V4P

https://www.amazon.com/Adrianna-Papell-Womens-Jersey-Jumpsuit/dp/B07TLNWGPJ

https://www.amazon.com/Adrianna-Papell-Womens-Embellished-Jumpsuit/dp/B07YBW6YC3
l pinkmountain
last year
Daisychain, I am a huge fan of the "good enough" school. I did that with my wedding dress. After returning over seven mail order dresses, I picked two that were "good enough" and never found the perfect one. I still had a good time at my wedding. And I was happy that neither dress was so expensive that I regret looking at it sitting forevermore in my closet . . . At some point we have to just keep going and check an item off the list. Years ago, I worked for a statewide organization housed at a university and staffed with college students as interns. Our boss was a great one for leaving "draft" on major policy papers and having endless meetings about edits. Finally one student said sarcastically of her, "At some point, it's not going to be draft anymore whether we like it or not . . . " In another vein, I counsel students to keep going when they are ready to jettison their entire careers because they got a "B" in a class . . . I tell them "B" stands for "good!!" Sometimes people who consistently do B work do much better than the ones who get all A's and then crash and burn due to not being able to handle the stress and can't deliver ANYTHING . . . the perfect is the enemy of the good.
teeda
last year
last modified: last year
Daisy, I don't tend to respond to fashion questions because I need too much help myself! But I have to respond to how overwhelmed you must be feeling. End of year educator issues, planning memorials and reliving that grief, dealing with an aging parent who needs to be moved--oh my, that's so much.

I like your idea of a black dress. To me, that's something you can keep in your closet for lots of other purposes. Dress them up, dress them down. I remember a photo you posted of your hair color and I think black would look great on you. Keep it simple. If you can get Amazon deliveries in your area, consider that. I'm pretty picky about clothing quality, but hate to shop locally because the inventory is never there, yet I have been surprisingly happy with some basics I got on Amazon. Read all the reviews, that will guide you.

Anyhow, I hope you will have a fabulous time at the graduation dinner. That's what's most important!!
teeda
last year
last modified: last year
One example of a positively reviewed big A dress:

https://www.amazon.com/VFSHOW-Pleated-Pockets-Buttons-Business/dp/B083TBJBB8/ref=sr_1_19?crid=2XNJYY9DMQI01&keywords=black%2Bdress&qid=1654027562&refinements=p_n_feature_browse-bin%3A50382011&rnid=368720011&s=apparel&sprefix=black%2Bdress%2Cfashion-womens%2C89&sr=1-19&th=1&psc=1
Annie Deighnaugh
last year
Wow daisychain! You have so much on your plate! Everyone will be delighted you're there regardless of what you wear, so don't sweat it too much. Instead, put your energy toward what needs it most. Sending you thoughts of patience and energy.
just_terrilynn
last year
last modified: last year
Teeda, with everything being polyester, even expensive designer dresses and tops, if the cotton blend on that dress in the link you showed is a cotton poly blend with a pinch of spandex, that black dress could be a keeper for that price. I recently bought some summer tops of cotton/poly/spandex and they are wonderful...wash up so well too. Maybe it's down to the percentage of cotton in the poly that makes my tops not look cheap (even though they were) plus I like a bit of stretch and "some" breathability.
mtnrdredux_gw
last year
I hope the many things you are juggling go smoothly for you Daisy, and that you can sit back and enjoy the event in comfort and style!