Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

-Dylan Thomas

Yep.....that is just about the only thing you can do.

I’m sorry you are frustrated.😕

Go tobogganing.

Okay, maybe not literally but find something that you like to do in your “winter” You can’t stop it, so embrace it. Adjust what you are doing.

Having been borne in and grew up and lived for many years in in snow country, winter is my favorite time of the year. Unfortunately I am now sitting in the middle of the USA with little or no snow in winter,. It snowed on Thursday, was bitterly cold on Friday and I had the time of my life hoofing it all over the countryside and even the local police shaking their heads, wanting to rescue me. Today it started to melt and now it is raining, that is most likely the end of winter weather.

marilyn_c I hate cold weather and winter too. I am also entering the winter of my life kicking and fighting each step of the way. But walking into the barn and being greeted in the early morning by my horse and several others makes the cold more bearable. Knowing I can do that makes the aging easier on the mind also.

If I didn't feel pretty much the same way, your friend’s article would be humorous. It still is funny because your friend is a great writer and captures how many of us feel. I have to laugh because I will not be deterred by my age. The 70’s would stop a lot of people from doing the things many of us still accomplish every day.

My mom died two weeks after her 38th birthday. So although your friend would not be happy to hear me say this, I think growing old, with all that comes with it, does beat the alternative.

I think it's very moving.

Now, I can relate. Oh well - you might as well learn to enjoy the age you are now, because wishing won't make you any older or any younger.

I'm not frustrated. I didn't write that. A friend did. I think I do very well for my age, but as a person who has a lot to do, it is not as easy as it once was. Still, I have no intention of stopping and though it may take me longer to do a lot of things, I still do them. I could hire more done, but if I can do it at all, I prefer to do it myself for as long as I can. I feel a real accomplishment when I do something. I may wish I didn't have to do it, and dread it but I will tackle it, and so far I have managed to do the things that need doing. Now, with a leaking toilet and facing having to replace the wax ring, and the little tube thing that goes from the tank to the valve near the floor...I am gearing up for that. If I end up not being able to do it, I will find someone. My biggest problem is lack of strength in my hands.

You are right, Nickel....and we are younger today than we will ever be.

My favorite season is winter but not the favorite season of my life. But there is very little I can do about that. But it DOES beat the alternative. As Art Linkletter said, getting old isn't for sissies. But I hiked almost four miles on the snowy Appalachian trail today and I doubt my grandmothers would have at my age. In fact one was dead so she wouldn't have.

I can relate too. My daughter just left. She came over and helped me paint and do a few other things. After a short time, one of my legs and both feet started to cramp. Later my hands began to cramp when I tried to open a bottle of Gatorade.

My dad said, Getting old isn’t for sissies.

I just found this magic cream from Home Decor forum: Retin-A. You all can give it a try. :-)

https://www.houzz.com/discussions/5086533/fun-beauty-tips#n=83

Kathy, you probably already knew about this cream since you work in a hospital.

Age is like wine. The older you get the wiser you become.

I too like winter. I can get a break from gardening. We have a lot of work to do to get a rental house ready. I did a lot of painting this afternoon, will continue tomorrow.

I've avoided retinol because years ago a friend was diagnosed with skin cancer on her face, and she told me it appeared where she'd used a retinol cream. She eventually died of another cancer, so maybe she was prone to it, but it turned me off retinol, and I never tried it. I do love moisturizers though.

Oh no. Did your friend spend a lot of time under the sun without a hat? I just got my 1st tube two days ago.

Summersrhythm, you are going to love the retinol!

very touching as I am in the Winter of life and so relate to some of it. I am thankful I don't have any aches or pains yet but the mind does present a problem and opening a bottle too.

Thanks Zalco! I got 0.1%, and apply it every the other day. Tonight is my 2nd time.

I can relate. I'm 72 and have been a widow 8yrs. I have done a lot of things on my own that we would have done together around this old house. The last year or so it has become a lot harder for me to do some things but I'm not giving up. I could afford to pay someone but I like the feeling of accomplishment and I don't have anything else to do. I am fortunate to have sons to help with things that I really can't do.

As for winter, I live in NW Pennsylvania and I hate the cold but i won't move. 3 of my children live close and the 4th is 200 miles away.

@summersrhythm_z6a...I tried retinol A years ago. It turns your skin bright red, increases circulation...then the skin flakes off. My brother the pharmacist, he's 12 years older than me...put it ALL over his face. He looked like he was on fire! Sun screen is supposed to moisturize & protect. Somewhere there's a thread where Alisande tested multiple brands of anti-aging cream and came up with results of what works.

I know there are a LOT of crack heads out there....but it would be nice if you/Marilyn had live-in help. Maybe someone who crossed the border, that's good with repairs and can feed horses. Someone that does three hours of work a day and disappears for the rest of the day.

Today's NYTimes has a lovely piece about the "old old", i.e. those over 85, and the reporter who has been following a group of them since 2015: https://www.nytimes.com/2022/01/06/nyregion/ruth-willig-oldest-new-yorkers.html

Journalism tends to look away from people at the end of life, especially at the undramatic end of a long life. Very old people are rarely winning pro sports titles or running governments or businesses, setting consumer trends or even following them. Aging may be an ordinary bodily process, but like other bodily processes, it can elicit shame or embarrassment in others, maybe also fear or disgust. It’s an affront. One family in The Times series urged me not to write about their mother’s physical decline, saying they wanted to preserve her dignity — a common sentiment. Rare is the leader like Jimmy Carter, who has let the public see him through the various changes of late old age....

For those who make it to old old age, there remains the challenge: How do you make a full and meaningful life when you can’t do so many of the things you once did? At the end of life, what turns out to really matter, and what is just noise?

How do you make a full and meaningful life when you can’t do so many of the things you once did?

I wonder, what will I be like when I'm old-old? I don't think I'll be the same as I am today.

My siblings and I are in our 60's, the 'youth' of old age. Sometimes we discuss where we want to end up. One sib in particular insists the home she chooses must have tons of varied activities on site or within walking distance. Well, that's fine for when you're independent but when you're "old old" ... I don't think I'll care. I think I will be content living in a calmer, more self-contained, "smaller" world. I say this based on observing my dad and his assisted living neighbors.

Bookwoman I haven't clicked your link yet but will; I am interested in other people's thoughts on the subject.

My dad also said, you never know how your old age will treat you. And that's true. A progressive disorder, neuropathy, an accident, all can really impact you.

An article about Betty White said how she wanted to live in her Carmel house, but the other house was better for her care needs. That's something we didn't know about, the Betty who was presented to us was so lively.

When I got my inherited IRA, the life expectancy on the table set mine as 21.7 years. Yikes. That hit home for me! I know it’s just an actuarial table, I suspect mine will be more than than, given recent family history on both sides of my family, but still.

Nicole, thanks for the info. I am starting it slow, only use it every the other night and I apply coco butter before adding retinol. Will report back after a month.

Marilyn, I enjoyed your letter from your friend and I understand how she feels as most elderly feel it at times. I'm to be 83 in Feb. I've had a great life because I chose to be positive about my time on earth. I feel the rest is gravy. I've suffered as a child due to illness and I missed two years of school. I've been told there was no hope and I decided at 12 years of age not to believe what they said. I chose happiness even in pain and here I am. Going forward isn't easy for me. right now I am the caretaker of my DH as he has memory loss, he is 88 and we have been married for 63 years.

I still have health issues but you would never see it or know it. Oh sure, I can't do all the tasks I did but I have three wonderful offsprings who take care of all that. I love to laugh.

Yayagal, I believe that attitude, if not everything, certainly is 90% I believe we make our own happiness. And yes, many people are unfortunate and have heavier crosses to bear. I don't mean to exclude them, but many are able to rise above their circumstances never-the-less. I think it has a lot to do with positive influences in their lives, and if we can, we should try to be mentors to those who come along behind us, and maybe need a positive influence in their life.

I totally agree with you Marilyn especially has an influence on people who are born with anxiety DNA. My biggest joy in life is how my kids turned out and one of them has anxiety issues and also her daughter. Both of them have overcome it with me talking through any silly issue that bothers them. I feel bad for people who dwell on something and are missing out on the fun. I owned a large hair salon and I worked there for 35 years or more. I can't tell you how many people came just to tell me their woes and worries. They listened to my funny stories of and I made them laugh. Health issues made me stop but they still call me to this day to chat as we all miss each other. Thank you for the message, Faith and fun from Sheila

Today is DH’s 75th birthday, and I turned 73 a few months ago. I think I fully realized my age when one of our dogs died last year, and our daughter commented that she needs to approve our choice of dog(s) from now on because she’ll be the person who inherits them. I started to argue and then realized she was probably right.

Thanks for sharing, great writing. I certainly understand the situation. We are all aging some better than others! 😊 The things you do Marilyn are so much more than I could possibly do at my age and I am younger. You have always impressed me with your work ethic and abilities. As we grow older we just have to accommodate our abilities and what our mind and body allow us to. Sometimes there's a fight though! 😋 Good to hear from you! As for winter I prefer none! 👍😊