thanx Waiting, I've got a response which looks like correct: it's apricot brown rot! Here is a link that might be useful: brown rot

lldaunt, its ok to cry. We all need it. We've all done it and just when we think its some better, something else pops up and we start to tear up again. Its ok. I am a "list-maker" After G died, and I was rested somewhat, I knew I had to keep busy. I made a list of projects that needed to be done, and things I had to put aside while he was so ill. Some were kind of silly, but these things kept me going and on the right track. Like paying bills, chores, crafts, etc. Some of the things on my "list" haven't been completed yet, and maybe some will never be done. But for me, the important thing was to keep my mind and hands busy. I know that sounds terribly old-fashioned, but it got me over the initial shock and helped me to realize that I was capable to "going on". I journal every day. and my lists go there too. Why not start one about your life with your loved one? Make it as intimate as you want. If its for your eyes only, whatever you want to write. If its for your children/grandchildren to learn more about Frank, thats another slant to consider. I think that would be a very nice legacy to give to your family. Most importantly, take care of yourself. Get enough sleep, eat properly,& if on medications, make sure you are taking it correctly. Give your self time. You can't "heal" overnight. God Bless & Keep you Jan

Mailer was the uber-macho, and he idolized Ernest Hemingway. Yes, he stabbed his second wife during a drunken party; she declined to press charges. Yes, he was instrumental in the probation of John Abbot, who six weeks after his release, killed another man. NM was excoriated for that event, not that it brought the victim back to life. I wouldn't call him anti-feminist, but he was opposed to abortion and contraception. He liked the element of danger in unprotected sex, and also believed that a man should be a father to every child he sired (NM had nine). Personally, I don't care whether or not he was a feminist. IMO most male writers aren't, and anyway, I avoid writing that is politically correct. But he was super-liberal politically. His essays on American culture are much better than his fiction. His "Miami and the Siege of Chicago" are amazing works, for those who recall the 1968 conventions. He was both repelled by and fascinated by the Kennedys and wrote some terrific essays about them. So he'll probably be remembered for a couple of novels and also for his observations of American life, which are so true to their times, although they may seem out-of-date now. The only writer still around who is equally interesting both personally and professionally is Tom Wolfe, IMO, and he and NM are polar opposites.

"I was irritated by Emb's dismissive, cavalier comment. I can only imagine that someone who writes something like that has not dealt personally with death. I did home hospice care for a family member a year ago, and even though we knew she was dying, the actual death was still a shock." I agree. When my brother died, he'd been hospitalized for nearly a month. On Monday of the week he died, his doctor told me that his death would occur at some point that day. On Tuesday, she said it would definitely be that day. On Wednesday, his doctor said that she had awakened in the middle of the night and had called the nurses' station to check on my brother's status, as she had fully expected to get a call about him. He died Thursday afternoon. Although I had only left my brother's side for bathroom breaks for more than a week, and although I was expecting his death at any moment the entire time, there was simply no way to be ready for it when it finally happened. My brother was 38 when he died. If he were still alive, he'd be turning 60 soon. And I miss him so much.