I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself, "Well, that's not going to happen." ~Rita Rudner

I would have loved to have had this when I taught middle school!

Oh the horrors! I still remember in 4th grade I had a class with a teacher who was known for being mean. She always struck terror in my heart. Well, we were supposed to have our school book covered by the next day, and I completely forgot and had left it at school. I was in tears! So my folks gave me a large brown paper bag cut open and showed me how to fold it to cover it without tape. I did that as soon as I got to class. Of course only about half the class had their book covered. Wouldn't you know it, she came over to my desk and picked up my well-covered book to show the class how it should be done!! Phew!! Permanent record saved!!

Found on Facebook: THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW IF YOU MOVE TO THE SOUTH 1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road. 2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South. 3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before. 4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha. 5. Onced and Twiced are words. 6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy! 7. Jawl-P? means: Did you all go to the bathroom? 8. People actually grow, eat, and like okra. 9. Fixinto is one word. It means I'm going to do something. 10. There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there's supper. 11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South. 12. Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you. 13. The word jeet is actually a question meaning, 'Did you eat?' 14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see. 15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em. 16. Y'all is singular. All Y'all is plural. 17. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal. 18. You carry jumper cables in your car for your OWN car. 19. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, mustard, Tabasco, and ketchup. 20. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, motorsports, and gossip. 21. Everyone you meet is a Honey, Sugar, Miss (first name), or Mr (first name) 22. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday. 23. You know what a hissy fit is.. 24. Fried catfish is the other white meat. 25. We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive!!! 26. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Southern friends and those who just wish they were from the SOUTH. AND one more: 27. Why did the chicken cross the road? To show that stupid possum that it CAN be done! Rusty