Just love her and cuddle, love to see a photo.

Awww. It will take time, especially when you don't know the dog.

Start over as if she is a puppy. Basic training, manners, etc.

I don't know how to send pictures but she is a blonde colored teddy bear dog. We just gave her a bath and blow dry. She weighs 12 lbs. She seems to be content just laying on the couch.. We are just going to let her be with lots of hugs. I would think she would get hungry?? She is potty trained and goes to the door.

If you really don't want a dog now, please explain that to your son and do the right thing for the dog. Your hearts aren't ready yet and that is totally fine. If your son got the dog from a shelter, he should return it to the same shelter. They want the dog to be in a loving home where she is wanted.

This just doesn't seem to be a good time or a good fit. I'm sure that your son meant well, of course, but this is pretty unfair. I'm very much against giving pets as a gift or as a surprise. Wait until YOU want a dog.

Here's the problem. The owner is very sick and can no longer care for her. If they didn't find a home they were going to put her down tomorrow!! She is much too nice a dog for that. So we will keep her. I will admit that it has helped us already. Our family talked it over and there are plenty of family that would take her if something happens to us. So I guess we have a dog that will be loved just as our Barney. These last few weeks have been terrible.

It sounds like you need her and she needs you. What's her name?

Mattie

HI Mattie!!

Hello Mattie!!!

I think in a few days when everyone settles a little, a trip to the vet for a cherckup would be good. Of course if she continues not to drink water take her in right away.

We can guide you are far as how to post pictures, I would love to see Mattie!!!

Sal thank you for saving her!!

Best Wishes to you and Mattie. So glad you found each other.

Pictures, please. I hope she helps you to grieve less. She will not replace your beloved dog, but she will create her own place in your life.

We took in our neighbor's dog when our neighbor passed away. She was about four. Although she was a frequent visitor and we already knew each other, living together was totally different.

Totally agree with eld6161. Treat her like she is a puppy and give her time to adjust. You really don't know her history or how she was trained. And it will take a little while for her to understand her new routines and expectations.

I'm so happy she is bringing you joy!

I think it is wonderful of you to give her a home. I am sure she will adjust in a few days, and you will love her and she will love you

Oh Sal, I understand how you feel! I was put into a similar situation a number of years ago, by my own DH! He thought that giving me another dog would ease my hurt. It didn't. But in time, it did help.

Mattie, nor any other dog, for that matter can replace Barney, he will always be with you. But in time, she will have her own place in your hearts. And it sounds as if Mattie is grieving, too. She doesn't understand the whys and wherefores of the changes in her life. She needs time to accept these changes, too.

Would love to see a picture of her, could your son help you post one?

Rusty

I truly look upon taking on a new pet as a testament to my love for the lost one. I still miss every one I ever had but it doesnt keep me from loving the ones I have now. They need me and I need them.

I have found that the newly separated can have anxiety issues. They are afraid you are going to disappear on them so sometimes it helps to hang around their food and water for a while. Otherwise they follow you. Maybe that is what is happening?

Best thing to do is take her for a walk. Traveling together are what dog packs do and it's a very healing activity for them...it will help her know that she's part of a pack with you.

our neighbors rescue would not eat or drink. They finally figured out she was afraid of the stainless bowls. The poor little girl perked right up with different material bowls. Ya just never know....!

I’m happy for you, Sal. You are honoring Barney‘s memory by helping this pup.

Aw, sweet girl. She is probably grieving too. Can you get a blanket or something and some toys from the previous owner to let her have while she becomes acclimated to your home and you? She will adjust; it will take a little time.

Lots of great advice here. I agree that Mattie (cute name!) is likely grieving too. Don't think of it as replacing Barney but as honoring your love for him. Give her and yourself time and love...all will be fine. She's a lucky girl, and I'm pretty sure you're going to feel the same way. Take it slowly!

Your post made me smile. :-)

Lucky little Mattie! She sounds adorable. She will start eating and drinking, don't worry about that. No dog will ever replace Barney, but Mattie will grow on your hearts. I just can't imagine putting a perfectly good dog down when there are so many people who take a dog like that. Thank you for saving her!

I know time will fly.....it takes awhile for new pets to see the security and long term home your offering. Thanks for giving Mattie a home! ♥ Your doing the right thing. She needs you.

Now.....you say she hasn't eaten or drunk water in two weeks? Taker her to the vet, get her a vitamin B12 shot and an appetite stimulant cream, you rub in their ears. asap please...(Your lucky she hasn't had kidney failure or a zillion other maladies......take Mattie to the VET!)

Bless her heart and yours! But she needs to have nourishment and hydration. Talk to your vet please.

Nicole, they got the dog last night.

When we first got Rusty (7 mos. old), he raced circles inside the house for over two hours. We just left him alone to work off the anxiety. I don't recall if he didn't eat or drink for a while. We just hung back and didn't try to force anything. We did kennel him at night with food & water inside the crate. After a couple or three months, he decided that he was too big for the kennel & definitely did not want to go into it. By that time, we trusted him so that was the end of the crate.

We lost the previous two dogs within a few months of one another. I started looking for another one quite soon. My thinking was that those dearly loved dogs would want me to get another one because they knew that I need watching over. It ended up being several months before I found Rusty.

Now.....you say she hasn't eaten or drunk water in two weeks?

No it has been two weeks since Barney passed, she has had Mattie since last night. But everyon is right, continued not drinking of water is a matter of concern.

Ive had a bumber of rescues and fosters. Each one adjusts in their own time. It’s best to give them space to adjust.

Don’t push yourself on them, instead let them decide when they are ready. make sure they know about where to potty and where the food/water is. Sometimes it’s also best for them to have some quiet time in an xpen.

One of our two current rescue pups is finally really coming out of her shell- two years later! It’s all about letting them decide.

the 3-3-3 rule is a pretty good guide although i've had a new rescue come with virtually no hiccups from the moment we got home. that isn't usually the case, i was just lucky a few times!

the times i had fearful or timid rescues or just ones that seemed confused about the new turn of events in their lives, i always found the best approach was to simply make sure fresh water was available, they had their choice of 2 or 3 soft beds (one near where i sat, one across the room, one in a different room, so they could make their own choice), access to a bowl of kibble (regularly scheduled meals can happen later), and NO forced interaction with me or anyone else. cuddles and lots of attention and nervous hovering (all natural maternal things we do with pets) can backfire and make a smooth adjustment harder to achieve. believe me, i know how tempting it is to fuss over them, talk baby talk and try to coax with food/treats but letting her come to you in her own time is not only the best way, it will be the most enjoyable feeling for YOU to have won her over with simple kindness and love from afar those first few days.

i had one rescue that took 3 weeks to seek me out for attention and from that day forward, she was my best friend until the day she died and has always been my *heart dog* even though there have been many, many others since.

i hope to see a picture of your mattie soon!

Sorry Sal. I read that wrong.

She has a vet appointment on Thursday. Just came back from getting a good leash and dog food. I goofed on the dog food was supposed to get Purina pro plan and got Purina one and she has eaten a little did drink some water. At times she is checking out the house. Going for a walk in the park now. I don't think she has been outside much and seems to enjoy it. I wonder what kind of home she came from??

"I wonder what kind of home she came from??"

It would be interesting to know. All that matters now is your home and giving her lots of love. Good to know she'll see the vet this week. I hope you're giving yourself a lot of credit for this. I wish Mattie could know how we're all thinking of her!

I don't think it makes too much of a difference between Purina ONE and Proplan. I feed my dogs both with no issues. I have only had four dogs in my lifetime and all four adjusted quite quickly. The racing greyhound rode seven hours to come home from Conn. and was startled by TV and house noises since she was never a pet. Then she grew attached and had separation anxiety if we left the house. She always wanted to be included in everything. It took longer for a cat I rescued two years ago to adjust and she's only now hanging with the other cats. She doesn't love them but all three cats love the dogs and the dogs love the cats.

sal, it's so good to hear you are opening your heart to another dog. May you have many years of happiness together :-)

she looks like murrysmom dog--same color and maybe a bit bigger. She loved her walk and did very well on the leash, I've been filling her water dish and she's eating!! I have a picture on my computer but don't know how to get it on here? She is what we needed!!! She is shih Tzu/ Bichon mix.

I am so happy to read this- sounds like a match made in heaven so to speak. Wishing you many more happy years together.

Sal:

Click on the 'write a comment' box (Where you go to post). You will see a picture of a camera with the word 'photo' next to it, click on that. That will bring up your computer pictures, click on the one you want and then click 'choose' and then click 'submit'.

Im so happy for you, Sal.