Oh, I have to post this one as well! Two men leave a store. One man walks to his Corvette, the other walks to his moped. The guy with the moped admires the Corvette and the owner lets him take a look at it. Then the guy gets on his moped, the other guy gets into his ‘Vette, and they both leave the parking lot. The guy in the Corvette decides to show off and race out of the parking lot. He stops at a stop light. Enjoying his music, he looks out the window and sees the guy on the moped flying by at about 80 mph! He can’t believe a moped can go that fast! So, he races up to the guy on the moped and passes him again to show how fast he can go. At the next stop light, the guy on the moped speeds by once more. Finally, the Corvette and moped stop at the same stop light. “How the heck did you go past me so fast like that?!” the guy in the Corvette asks. The guy on the moped, all flushed and pale, looks at the man and says, “My suspenders are caught in your car door!!!!”

Q: What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Iowa? A: Prom.

Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, one student nurse found an elderly gentleman - already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet - who insisted he didn't need any help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let the student nurse wheel him to the elevator. On the way down, she asked him if his wife was meeting him. "I don't know", he said, "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."

So there were these scientists studying a frog. They decided to teach the frog to jump on command. 'jump frog' they would say. He did. Then the team decided to expand the test. 'jump frog' they said. He jumped 16 feet! They removed one of his legs. 'jump frog' they said. He jumped 12 feet! A second leg was removed. 'jump frog'; he jumped 8 feet. A third leg removed. 'jump frog'. He jumped four feet. They removed his last leg. 'jump frog'. Nothing. 'jump frog' they commanded. Still nothing. Last chance. 'jump frog'. He doesn't move. Their conclusion? 'Frogs without legs can't hear.' science speaks [until you remove their legs?]