You've got two very young children and lots of history together -- What you have is so very important that you REALLY need to try to save it. But 'saving it' does NOT mean "suck it up"! You've already done plenty of that and it's not working... Right now, you're exhausted and feeling resentful; and hard as it is for you to believe, your wife is probably *also* exhausted and resentful. Caring for two little ones at home all day is truly exhausting, and the lack of sexual intimacy in a marriage with young children is legendary. It's become a running gag on TV precisely because it is so true... Get yourselves into counseling! It sounds to me like your wife may have some anxiety issues; and you and her parents have been enabling her for years. Weaning her from all of her crutches will take time, and possibly even medication -- but it can be done, and you all will be better off for it. It's not hard to see how her fears will be passed along to her children if they're allowed to continue. Of course you should be able to have the occasional night off. (As should she, and the two of you together.) And as others have already pointed out, what's with the homework duty? YOU are not the one who's going to be a teacher, and if her own work is not up to snuff, how is your fixing it helping her? Or the kids she will go on to teach? If she were trying to get into medical school, TOP grades would be necessary, but to teach? Sometimes 'good' is plenty good enough. Make some changes Struggling, and do it NOW. (Before you're so darned tired that nothing could work.) Stop just sucking it up and start talking to her. Organize your thoughts, and make a list (yes, a paper list) of the most important two or three points you need to make. Find ways to explain your points that are short, simple and kind; and don't let her get away with twisting your words into things you don't mean. Ask her to repeat back to you what you said (and meant) so you know that she understands you, and be sure to emphasize that it's because you want your marriage to last that you're saying these things.

I think amy has hit the nail on the head! I kept looking at all the brighter colors trying to come up with an idea, and when she wrote hers, and I scrolled back up - it's perfect! We can't quite tell if the rug is gray or blue, but if you take a tiny snip of the rug fibers from it (try in a closet) AND the fabric from behind the buck to a good paint store where the staff can really advise well, have them show you the best soft colors that will blend with both. You might end up with a very 'custom' looking room, if you can pull a soft color from that fabric that will blend with both the 'buck background' and the rug, too.

Nalcar, you're so kind to do all this. And wow, that's really dramatic! The moldings are not so much to my taste, but the split up cabs with the top across is an interesting thought. On the right, though, the wall begins to curve just after the A/C and so I think it would take a lot of work to put a flat cabinet there. I can already hear what my contractor is going to say about that one. I have a really strange apartment with very odd lines so I've been hearing a lot of that! Also, that puts the Shaker door cab very close to the built-ins which have a door in a different style. You can see them in my pic in the post on 10/31 at 8:12. What do you think? I'd also have to consider the cost of the extra granite at this point. Oh, and the usual distraction from the wall A/C is a chair in front of it and a framed picture on top. Well, no chair during the summer. :D

Hi, I am surprising my wife and wanted to ask your opinions of which color flower boxes would look best, Black or white. Thank you, Bob