LOL you need to say NOT HAPPENING and then stop helping. The layers of messed up these people live with is beyond your help!!

Give they guy the $35. Don’t volunteer your services any more.

For the sake of peace with your neighbor, might be worth it. How many hours did the guy work, at $15/hour how much would you 'owe' him?

I'd love some pine needles to use as mulch, would happily pay $5 per lawn bag even if they weren't delivered. Your neighbor's houseguest might have missed an opportunity to really clean up!

nickel.....I rake MY own pine needles. I was just trying to be nice by helping to get the bags off the front yard of MY neighbors house. :0) I don't get why...I would pay him?

While I agree with Nickel's perspective on 'keeping the peace', I also think that payment may set an unfortunate precedent where more money is expected for any interaction between you and this guy, because you are not aware of the rules of the alternate universe that the neighbor and the guy are living in.

This is funny/weird to me....I just don't get it....

I’m getting caught up in the particulars. How far away is this place? $35 seems like a lot of gas for a ”local” place. How much time did the guy spend helping you dump? If you give him the $35 as jrb suggested, I’m wondering if that’s enough to reasonably pay his wage. That much I’d give him to keep the peace, but not more.

If more payment is expected, I’d just approach them with a friendly demeanor and say, ”This is a little uncomfortable but there seems to be a misunderstanding, I volunteered my truck and my time to help you with your bags. I’m not understanding why I’m expected to pay him.“

foodonastump....it's a 30 minute drive one way, to the mulch place. We made two trips. My 95' GMC 4x4 truck has plywood sideboards, so it was heaped above the cab. Three of us were in the cab. Gas is $3.59gal.

Nicole, as I read this post , you were going to dump your needles and were kind enough to take theirs. To me that says you should have been offerd some gas money ( or something ) for doing it. pay them or do it again No.

It’s the neighbor who should pay the guy for helping you to dump the pine needles. Even better, wouldn’t removing and dumping be part of the cleanup? So he has already been paid.

Did you take your needles along with theirs?

greenshoekitty & bpath, no....my place(2.5 acres, same as the neighbors)......is spotless. We eat "clean", not much in that 32 gallon trashcan every week....so I fill it with pinecones & needles every week, just so it looks like someone is home....not on vacation. ♥ We, DH & I , made two trips just to help THEM out.

Just ask your neighbor nicely, the guy was working on HIS property, why should you pay? Your neighbor might think the guy has also cleaned your yard too by mistake.

Bizarre. How did you respond when your neighbor said that?

No.

So two hours in the truck plus load/unload. $35 would techically be a little light. And no he has NOT been paid, based on what’s been said here.

On further reflection, I think you should remove yourself from the payment aspect entirely. I’d give the $35 back to your neighbor saying, ”We weren’t expecting anything in return when we offered our truck and time to help with your bags. Please put it towards paying the kid if he’s still owed money.”

No. All day long no.. Neighbor is completely clueless.

Susieque....I responded with a list of people we know that are struggling. That's when my husband mentioned we'd paid for gas...meaning...we did pitch in...in spades....we think. Maybe it's we're assuming responsibility for this kid and didn't know it?

No good deed goes unpunished.

So much no. I wouldn't offer to help again, and if the neighbor or guy asks, tell them no and why. If there was some mis-communication or what going on, there is no way you should be paying the guys wages the neighbor promised him. To prevent further potential mishaps, just keep out of the whole thing entirely.

Not a dime. They sound shifty to me.

Does the guy who raked the pine needles think you should pay him? This is a weird thing. You do someone a favor and you are supposed to pay for having done that? I would tactfully explain the facts of life here.

patriciae....nope. My husband did offer to buy the guy lunch, but he said part of his diet, he fasts for 12 hours. He said he'd eat when we got back. 10am - 3pm we loaded & hauled pine needles. :0)

So far giving the gas money back, which I think is a good idea....is ALL anyone thinks I should do. I often wonder if I fell off the potato truck with my expectations of people. Guess we pretty much agree on THIS one. ♥

No

Do they think you sold the pine needles and profited? I can' t grasp their math here.🤔

I think I'd still offer to help haul again, because that benefits you (improves your view!) but no to paying him. That's part of the work he's doing good the neighbor, not for you, even if you ask him to come along and help dump. You're both doing it for the neighbor.

nicole, these people seem to have some numbers of screws loose. Plant a tall hedge and pretend they're not there.

nicole, I'm assuming your neighbor wants this young man to learn the value of doing actual work, that could explain why he "paid" the guy $15/hour to clean up around his house. He'd have paid a landscaper crew that much (well maybe, in some world). It's socially clumsy for your neighbor to assume you'd pay for his houseguest's time too, but sounds like that's what happened.

I like FOAS's idea of returning the $35 gas money and calling it even, or bump it up to $50 to be generous. Mutual favors between friends/neighbors is a good lesson for young people to learn too.

Five hours of 2 or 3 people bagging and hauling pine needles? Wow, y'all must have a lot of pine trees! I'm jealous :-)

I'm having a little trouble grasping the thoughts on this or just what happened, but can only add that sometimes our neighbors don't think exactly like we do. I would probably not have accepted gas money, understanding that you didn't ask for it....

I'm surprised sometimes at the neighbors who do not have trucks, trailers, or easy access to them. We're hardly urban where people may not even own a car but rely on public transportation ;0)

When pile had cooled, DH loaded our neighbor and his lawn debris pile that he had been trying to burn in a shrub bed until the police stopped him, telling him he couldn't burn waste inside city limits. A doctor, and he really didn't know. Not being discreet at all, he was right at streetside ;0) The debris went out to the family farm to be added to the fall burning pile there. We got a loaf of homemade bread as thanks. No one mentioned gas money at 12 miles but DH would never have taken it. His mother likely would have terrorized him if he had accepted money from family or neighbors....and its stuck, he just doesn't no matter how small or large the chore.

As for you paying them? No, I cannot follow that one either.

I'm not completely convinced the young man next door is being shown appropriate lessons in responsibility, but hardly your problem.

Absolutely not. They should be doing something nice for you. Unbelievable.

This is why we moved out to the country. Minimal neighbor weirdness.

I was hoping the actual working guy wasnt expecting to be paid by someone who was doing him a favor. I am glad to hear it and my faith in humanity resorted. This is just weirdness from the neighbor.

"Late 20s". He's not a kid! He's a grown man who should be paying his own way and out making his own money. Since he's not paying rent or for food as far as we know, I think that NOBODY should pay him. But if your neighbors, who he is mooching off of, want to, that's their business. To ask you to pay him is just completely weird. "Just say no".

Of course, you should not pay him for the favor you did.

Nicole, the request for you pay him is ridiculous. I wouldn't have anything more to do with them

You are otherwise on pretty good terms with the neighbor, right? Don't break off relations over a few bucks. Sheesh. Just let it go and keep on as you were.

I really appreciate ALL the replies. I read them "all" to my husband. :0)

The place he's remodeling is closed on Mondays......because they can't find enough help to keep it open 7 days a week. It's a new age tea house. No one wants to work. There are "Help Wanted....Hiring" signs EVERYWHERE. (those kids need to get a real job)

The same worker shortage is happening here! Even school buses don't have enough drivers. Crazy. Otoh, little kids who can't be inoculated, parents who might not want them in school or daycare because of that but also want to work, what's a parent to do? It's not just kids!

Nicole, please let us know how it turns out. it is such a strange situationthat i can’t help but wonder if the neighbor is confused and thinks that you also had lots of pine needles to dump and the guy helped you.

but even that wouldn’t explain it, would it? They needed a way to get rid of the pine needles. You and DH provided that AND you both drove with him AND you did it twice. You got no benefit out of the day (except for the pleasure of helping a neighbor, and now I’m guessing that that pleasure is greatly diminished).

It is simple: you did a favor. THEY should thank YOU. Wacky as all get out. There must be a misunderstanding on your neighbors’ part.

Just be assertive and say, no, I’m not paying him. If he isn’t willing to unload the bags just to help out then you’re not going to be able to help get them to the site.

If you happen to talk to the neighbor again about either of these two men, please try not to slip and refer to them as kids, because they are not children; they are adult men. I'm thinking you would not want to accidentally help your neighbor reinforce any message that they are children to be, eh, coddled.

matthias____OK.

Right now, I just need a break. ♥ I haven't heard from them. No emails. No phone calls.

Her father died a few months ago. He says she's still pretty upset. I think he's got his hands FULL. No ones raking any more pine needles. I was told it may be a few months before they do the-next-phase.

morz8....I didn't know my husband had answered the door and accepted gas money. I would have refused it.

You see, my husband carries the cat straddling his arm. So when he answered the door, the house-guest-next-door's face was one BIG smile, looking at the cat ......dangling there. DH introduced the cat....here, extends arm ....meet Aspen.....and absentmindedly took the money, not giving it any more thought than that. ☺