Speaking of Explorers, I'm amazed so many Canadian roses died back to the snow line (about 1 foot.) A. Mackenzie, Prairie Joy, Quadra, Morden Centennial, Champlain, & Hope For Humanity died back like never before. We had minus 16 F in mid Michigan, which isn't that cold by Canadian standards. Even John Davis, which stayed green to the tips, is now withering the shoots on its top half. It had to be more than just the cold that did all this damage.

Yes, Lucille, I guess it was the culmination of a lot of 'scares" over a relatively short time and longer term over my life! Recently I even had a mason replace the ancient basement windows of my new house with good double pane windows and a week later they all looked like a scene from Arachnophobia - that really freaked me out! Anyway, the box is still in the driveway! I intend to empty it into the trash when the barrel is out on the curb. I have rethought my plan for all the many plants I was planning to dig up and have decided to take only a special few. (in the back of a truck; not in my car!) That'll be enough. It's so hard to explain the indifference I feel, but yes, it's a line crossed that feels permanent......Annie - that sounded major, not minor! Trail, that's exactly what I mean, a major shift in one's life trajectory over a seemingly minor event. You had enjoyed and identified yourself with that career and suddenly, done! Mine being much less significant but still I've always felt myself a gardener. I suddenly don't any longer. Patty - I've seen nursery spiders with babies which is fascinating, but horrifying to me. Arcy-I would like to read about that family! and, yeah, gardening has always been a bit of a challenge for me, but I've managed. Until now. Rhizo, right now I feel too old to want to change or maybe it's about not wanting to put myself through the stress. There has always been tension there; I just don't want to inrease the odds that I'll have to deal with it. I'd be better off living in a condo, but I love land and space around me and my privacy. So given that, I'll have to find a way to limit my exposure. Anyway, thank you all!

"The man that I'm involved with has had 3 failed marriages and done time for drug dealing" Well at least it sounds like you are getting what you deserve. "...since he's found me he's been given a new lease of life" Sure sweetie, he'll be a regular Mother Theresa now that he has you in his life. Reading too many romance novels are we? Sorry if I am coming off harsh, and I realize I don't speak for everyone here, their opinion might be a little more forgiving than mine. But as someone who's been put through the same hell by my piece of sh*t ex-wife that you are putting your husband though, I feel extremely entitled to offer my opinion, since you asked for opinions. I too was a "good honest man" (still am...lol!) who did not deserve it. I was always completely faithful to her. I worked my butt off getting a software business off the ground so my ex could be a stay-at-home for our two kids, which is what we both wanted from the start. And instead of being appreciated for working long days and weekends, then coming home and being a good dad and working on the house and all that, she eventually winds up resenting me for not being around enough and winds up having an affair with someone...which I didn't find out about for 9 months. When I found out, I said I understood (to a point) why she did this and wanted to fix our issues, and resolved to change some things make our marriage better. She said she wanted this too....but her heart was never really in it. Three years later she did it again....this time I told her I was done and we are now amicably divorced (on the surface anyway) and sharing custody or our two kids 50/50. I say "on the surface" because when I think of what she did to me, not only the affairs, but to string me along for years...knowing she wanted out but not having the courage to act like an adult end our marriage the right way before shopping for her next man, my blood freaking boils. I can't explain it, but I feel like I lived years of my life now in some giant lie...I was happy and thought things were pretty good. Good people DO NOT treat people like this. She completely disregarded me as a person, and did what was best for her, with NO regards for my feelings. I didn't matter at all....my pain was just "collateral damage" to her in getting what she wanted. To this day (5 yrs later), while I deal with her respectfully on a daily basis regarding the kids, deep down I wish nothing but bad things for her. The scars of being treated like this, by someone that you loved and treated with nothing but respect for 10+ years, do not heal easily. I suspect they never will. I (half) jokingly tell my friends that I just hope she dies before me so that I can take a big sh*t on her grave, as my final revenge. Well, now you know how your "good honest man" of a husband will feel about you when he finds out. And I hope your daughters do turn on you...you f*cking deserve it. There, you asked for opinions.....oh, and good luck with your new man, he sounds like quite a catch! This post was edited by mkroopy on Fri, Dec 7, 12 at 13:14

Wow, I can imagine how fearful you were to go under general anesthesia, especially with hemorrhaging and dropping blood pressure! But thankfully you were at the hospital and in good hands. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, which may have been a fetus medically, but was of course, a potential child, to you and your husband. The fact that you did get pregnant naturally, is a good sign. It means that you are not infertile, so I'd think your chances of a successful pregnancy, whether natural or through IVF, will be great, since you have proof that you were able to conceive. Take the time you need to recover physically and emotionally, then look forward to planning your 'rainbow baby,' with all our best wishes!