Yes.....me me me me! I can so relate to all of this. The only thing I find that gets me moving is time pressure and sometimes I am smart enough to set an arbitrary (fake but earlier) deadline so that I get serious.

We did our kitchen last year, and in a few weeks should be doing new flooring which means having to empty furniture and move stuff. I can't do it too soon, but I am trying to psyche myself up to do that.

I know I will also be working on other rooms and I am really trying to get close to picking out and even ordering a few things since I know that supply chain is a real issue. I just get so lazy that I tell myself if what I want is not available, "it wasn't meant to be".

I guess I am only commiserating and not helping~~~

No motivation? Yes all the time but for different reasons. Being at work while DH gets to do the fun stuff (IMO) isn’t fair. I would be venting too.

Do you think that the lack of motivation is your subconscious telling you that what with all your current stresses combined you have too much on your plate?

Yes, I am jealouS my husband is retired! I also know that I need to go to work. My work is very rewarding and I would not own anything with a zipper if I were retired ( sounds kinda good).

Yes, I have too much on my plate, but don’t most of us?

We have to get this kitchen done. Most would be horrified with what we are living with ( I can imagine the certain “pro” if I posted pics) our appliances are not working properly and like I said it is awful.

Lukki, is it wrong to resent my husband being at home? I want to be at home in stretched out yoga pants but I have to work financially( we need to move off the DMV) and probably for my sanity.

as long as DH has been through this.....is there a job site leader each day they kind of touch base with regards the days activity. Go over everything w DH but you should be fine if you like your GC / trust them etc. But there are unknowns..we've had a few with projects. But were able to navigate thru quick decisions and never had to undo or go back and tear anything out. it's the decisions that have to be made at the time of the work where you want to be there . but if you have both been thru this you'll be fine. Kind of see how they get set up each day at the onset and who the point person is. I have found that critical. Good Luck. A stop off at the UHAUL store and get dish boxes etc ..get them in place and you might get going.

DH will be a good contact. Maybe it is that I won’t be home and in control. I would say we are very traditional in our relationship but maybe I am a control freak and DH just lets me be.

You are overwhelmed. tell DH and ask if he can pitch in a bit more, like unloading the cabinets and drawers. Or start somewhere else in the house until you’re mentally ready for the kitchen.

I have a fraction other stress you do, and Dading the kitchen r3model.

Herbflavor, you made me realize I was a stay at home or consulting with my other renovations (with my ex) so maybe this a control issue.My ex also had no real opinion.

Please don't add blaming yourself for how you are feeling to your already very full plate. :)

Not blaming. I am a bit of a control freak inside though.

One of my kids once made me realize, telling him he never puts his dishes in the dishwasher and at 12 ish he said “ when I do you just fix it” , so maybe it is on me that I am stressed.

Maybe you are just burned out at the thought of doing this again, since you said you’ve done it before. It is a lot of work, although for me the job of putting everything away again is worse. You’ll get it done when the right moment strikes, or when you can’t procrastinate another minute!

Yes, I totally lack motivation to the point that I’ve considered moving into our home just the way it is rather than all the meetings I have with flooring, landscaper, kitchen people etc. My husband has Alzheimer’s and I know getting the work done after we move in would be tremendously agitating to him.

When I renovated my kitchen in this home I had a blast! I loved every minute of it but the thought of doing a new kitchen is overwhelming.

I’ve owned the home we are moving into for twelve years so I know that the layout works fine for me but I need to have all lowers be drawers instead of cabinets, I need a pull out trash cabinet, and I don’t want a gas range in my last ever home so I know what I need to do yet I’m still unmotivated.

Lukki, is it wrong to resent my husband being at home? I want to be at home in stretched out yoga pants but I have to work financially( we need to move off the DMV) and probably for my sanity.

I would definitely resent the circumstances, not a darn thing wrong with that! Packing up a kitchen is also a lot of work and really not the fun part of doing a reno for sure. Ahhhh....working to keep one’s sanity. Yes that is what I’m doing. I can’t say that I love my job, but at least I can work in my comfy’s on the sofa and most of the time I welcome the distraction. Once we get moving it’s not so bad...right?

Lukki, I am heck on wheels once I get going

When I renovate, I have cash. I'd be stressed if I needed to work financially and was spending money. If you didn't spend the money....would you feel more financially secure? I say: You have to want the project "more" than you want the money.

Anne,

Yes! I just want to sit by the pool. I don't even want to work in my garden. I just want to veg.

Like you, I have a lot on my plate. I work 2 jobs, one FT and one PT. They are rewarding but stressful. We have several large home projects all going at the same time, new pool and landscaping for that as well as a new electrical service for the house. We are DYI the parts we can. DD and her 4 year old son live with us as she has been battling breast cancer and I had knee surgery 3 weeks ago. Now that I made that list, I am horrifed. LOL

I am trying to embrace my life, be grateful and accept that it is OK to relax.

When I say I work for finances, it is because of where we live. Very expensive and I am only in my fifties. I am not stressed over money for the kitchen reno.

Totally get why you feel that way. A kitchen reno is a big stressful deal. We did it 20 years ago in our 185-year-old house and I would not have wanted my husband in charge. I made all the decisions because he doesn't have an esthetic bone in his body.

I am hoping my mil will be a help...I think it is stress about hubby, thank you all for you kind words. I might be doing some face time from work if I can

total

Yes, have so much work to do in the yard and house, it isn't funny.

Yes. I have been putting off going through my parents glassware and other stuff that I salvaged from when my basement was flooded a couple of years ago to take it to either the recycle bin if chipped or cracked to to whatever thrift store would take it. It needs to be at least rinsed and looked at but I opened the first box today and dragged a few pieces out that could fit in my dishwasher. Looked at the rest and decided "Not today".

Yes. This time of year I hate doing everything. It's so hot and humid I get miserable. I plant things so that I have a reason to get up and do something. Have to water. Have to fertilize. Have to prune. I just really dislike hot weather and struggle to do anything. Its hard to get up for work in the afternoon because I know I am going to step outside into an oven.

As far as renos, I find that its best to get it started, that way you are motivated to get it done. Its that first step that is the hardest. The more it comes together, the more exciting it gets. Especially with kitchens :)

I can totally relate! I started my full house reno early 2019 and I put them on hold because I couldn’t keep a close eye on things and focus on my high stress job. I had to pick one and I picked my career.

Funny enough I’m now working from home full time and I can keep an eye on the renos, but I can’t work through the noise! I only want to finish the kitchen this year but the work is fairly stagnant and we DYI what we can on the weekends.

I’m coordinating with contractors to come in while I’m on vacation from work. I’m not traveling year and I can be around to answer questions or correct issues early on. Hopefully that gets us closer to a finished house.

If your husband is retired and he will be supervising the reno why doesnt he pack the kitchen up ?

We are in the midst of a kitchen reno, my name is also Anne, and my husband is retired and I am resentful (kind of). My job is a huge part of my life, and I've toyed with retiring and could financially. The more sibs and in laws around me retiring, the more envious I get. I also could not get myself to pack the kitchen up, but finally started. I would box things up and bring them down to the basement. Then the reno got drastically moved up and I was gone for work, so hubs had to finish packing up the kitchen. As a result, I have boxes all over our living area, I don't know where anything is, and despite plastic sheeting up my house is filthy and dusty. The floor is almost in, but they probably won't come today because it is pouring out. Need to finish laying the tile and then grout, then let sit before cabinets go in. Then laser measure for my countertops, then wait 4 weeks for the counter top. I hate messes, but know it's the price (along with the price for the reno, ha ha) to pay for a hopefully beautiful, more functional kitchen.

I guess my advice to you would be to just start, otherwise your mess may be bigger then it needs to be if it falls to your husband. I was just struck by the similarities in our stories. Good luck!

Well, let's put it this way- I'm on Houzz, I have a cat sleeping in my lap, and I haven't had a kitchen sink since Sunday. But today's the day, for sure this time (this is the third time, but I really do think it will happen today!).

I wasn’t as reluctant, but I know about that fear of living through what you know lies ahead. Try setting aside the things you’ll want to keep handy and have DH pack the rest (Or maybe just the non-breakables) I’m not going to lie - no matter how much you prepare yourself for the upheaval, it’s usually longer and worse. BUT - it does end, and will be worth it. Two tips... plan as much as you can ahead of the reno. 1. No making every decision on the fly! 2. Swing a sledge! Preferably at the inanimate things that need to be taken down. Get into that demo. It helps release stress and gets you into the right mood to move forward.

I am without motivation, but it is for getting started on regaining the fitness I have lost since late 2019 - when I was training for a spring half marathon, strained a tendon while working in the yard, and just can't seem to regain the desire to run or work out as I did for decades (for weight control and to prevent injury at work.)

When I reno'd my kitchen in 2013, it actually sort of served as stress relief from work, but I did battle issues with indecision (fear of committment?) on a few aspects.

That made me laugh... much needed 3onthetree. And if you have a 60s truck I am envious!