Well I believe i have relayed both incidents of cart shaming here. The Fruit fly incident was a long and rather disturbing story but the candy one is shorter so I will repeat it.

Me: (Minding my own bidness at the self checkout buying Halloween candy to put out in my Halloween display at work)

Weirdo: Stops and stares

Me: Ignores weirdo

Weirdo: Ma'am?...

Me: Looks at weirdo, eyebrows raised in inquiry

Weirdo: You KNOW that stuff is POISON right?

Me: Well, not YET its not! Mwahahahaha! (scans another bag of reeses punkins while maintaining eye contact with weirdo)

Weirdo: Stares in incredulity

Me: Close your mouth.

Weirdo: blessedly goes away with her little bag of kale or whatever......

I mean, what did she expect? Really, I REALLY wanna know what result she was after......

I often look at other people's carts because I'm looking for meal ideas.

I have been cart shamed. While I was waiting in line I noticed the lady in front of me kept turning to look at my cart. I finally asked if something was wrong and she said "You have the most disorganized cart I have ever seen." I didn't respond. I had about 15 items in my cart, 9 of which were cans of cat food. Not sure how I was supposed to arrange them.

Matti, that sounds more like a problem the woman in front of you had, not your own ;0)

That's funny, @matti5. I never thought about how my cart was arranged, but I did have a checker once comment that I clearly shopped by store segment, then quickly went on to say that many shoppers coming through his line had items all mixed up while I had all the dairy together, all the frozen food together, etc. I never realized that I did that, but it seems almost automatic to me, certainly seems like it's the most efficient way to shop and have your groceries bagged so that they are easy to put away once you arrive home.

Cannot recall ever looking in anyone's cart.

Strongly dislike comments or questions by cashiers or baggers about something I am buying, so use self checkout. Often shop on way home from work & tired, don't want to talk to anyone.

I haven't been cart-shamed, but sometimes I feel guilty if there are no vegetables in my cart, and it seems that other people are eyeing my meat and sauce purchases with suspicion. Seriously, they don't know I obtain much of those from a farmers market or from Misfits Market, unless I'm looking for something specific.

I will sometimes look at others' purchases, especially if the line is long and I am bored with looking at the covers on the magazines on the racks. (Sorry I don't care about the Royal Family or which celebrity is cheating on which.)

The only comments I've made have been positive ones - usually concerning an attractive flower arrangement someone has picked up.

Matti do you think maybe she was just flirting or trying to start a conversation?

Nope, I never check other people's carts and no one has ever mentioned mine. But I use self check out and I have two large canvas bags that hang on the cart so no one can see my stuff. I have had people asked where I got those though.

Yes I I glance at other people's cart contents. I think to myself oh I forgot something.. where was that thing again and then I will look around and see if anybody has it in their cart. I don't think I've ever once actually found the thing in another's cart but it is an automatic thing. When I need help I usually go looking for people to get help or I suppose their cart contents in this case.

I have never commented on another person's personal choices but I have worried for some people when I see the quantity of sweets and pop they have.

No one has ever commented to me but I think their only comment might be where are all your snack foods. We shop mostly the perimeter of stores and in the health food section as well.

I have glanced at other carts sometimes, usually at the checkout line while waiting. I never would think of saying anything to anyone about something about anything in their cart. Maybe if I was curious about an item, but no. Sure, I have wondered when I see a pile of sugary sodas and junk food more than other groceries, especially when little kids are present, but hey it’s not my business.

How can you not at least glance, if only to ensure you're putting stuff in your cart and not someone else's. Certainly it's impolite to stare, and almost always it's rude to comment -- if you can't help but wonder at some people's selections, keep it to yourself, you don't know their whole story.

In the past year, twice we've had checkers ask about a product: Tony's Chocolate bars. "Wow those look great, where did you get them" -- they are noticeable thicker than most bars and in that store they are stocked with the fancy organic/healthy/fair trade items, not with the candy. Worth looking for!

A story: I found good cat food, little cans, a discontinued flavor marked down to .25cents ea. I purchased ALL 24 they had. The cashier asked me how many cats I had? ☺ I've had cashiers hold up ginger root and ask me what it is, then say "I thought so".

My biggest "pricing" faux pas was the pet food store that scanned little cat food pouches of food, about 15, should have cost $15....well when it got to $300...I said OK...STOP! This is stooooooopid! I'm NOT paying three hundred dollars for CAT FOOD! Everyone in the little tiny store stopped, slow mo....moved away from me....got in the line next to me....and stared at me!

The last time I was cart-shamed was in Costco, mid-pandemic. I had a supply of wine for me, and a supply for a friend, and a supply for another friend. A man walked by and said, "Now YOU know how to shop!"

If there's a line, I note what other people are buying. As some have already said, I could discover something I'd like to try. It's similar to noting what looks good as you pass tables in a restaurant. I only comment on especially gorgeous flowers, fruit or produce in a grocery cart, just sharing the joy.

I wonder if this is a female thing, the 'hunter-gatherer' brain kicking in?

My husband & I are beer drinkers, so I buy 4 cases at a time. Can't say how many times I have had someone say, "you having a party?" I just smile & walk on. I have never said any thing but I have seen the same man with a cart load of frozen dinners. I feel bad that he has no one to cook for him, & yes I know he is single.

Gray wing I wouldn't call that cart shaming. It was more like "you go girl".

I spent a number of years during HS and college working part time as a unionized retail clerk in grocery stores, doing shelf stocking and sometimes cashier duty in checkstands (before scanners). It was mind-numbingly boring and mechanical but, at the time, a well paying job for a kid to have. I did enjoy the people contact and the exercise I got hefting all the product cases.

One thing I would do to amuse myself and help pass the time was to create silly imaginary scenarios of how the items in each customer's cart related to one another in toto and what scenario I could construct for them. So a cart of matches, Pepto Bismol, paper towels, steak, cereal, milk, wax paper and aluminum foil would become - Make alternating multiple layers of paper towels and wax paper to produce something that would burn hot and long, wrap the steak in that, set it on fire with the matches to cook the steak, transfer the steak to aluminum foil to hold and eat, cereal and milk for dessert and then Pepto Bismol to calm the upset stomach. Silly but it helped the hours go by. Sometimes I'd start giggling with my mind game thoughts and as a result my co-workers thought I was a bit loony. It was probably true.

Why is what's in your cart anyone's business but yours??? But yes: I have but IN MY HEAD. I would never EVER chastise anyone verbally for buying anything I didn't agree with. When I did Keto (I was super strict and really need to get back at it again) I would look in peoples carts and wonder "hey... I wonder if they do Keto too? Look at all that bacon and cheese. Oh! Nope. There's a loaf of bread and a bag of chips..." LOL When I was on cash at work once a man bought a Muscle Magazine and Flintstone vitamins. I had to chuckle and asked him, "If you take your Flintstones, will you look like the guy on this cover?" We both got a good laugh, but I think that's about the only time I asked about someones purchase. And it was a joke he liked.

eta: Once after I left the one store I worked in and still knew all but one cashier (my replacement), my husband and I went in and bought two bottles of Listerine: one original and one Wintermint. And a couple bags of chips. My husband is Indigenous and said to the cashier in his best Native accent, "We're having a party. You wanna come?" Lynn burst out laughing but the new cashiers eye's almost popped out of her head and her mouth dropped open. It was hilarious.

I often had friends working with me as baggers at the check stand and we would try to amuse one another.

One early evening, an attractive young lady (such customers were always a good target for flirting) came through the line with a bottle of some kind of product like Ban Antiperspirant, which I put down on the scale. Very innocently and without thinking, I rang it up, took payment and made change, and then picked up her purchase and said "Would you like a little bag for this or would you like to just put it under your arm". Realizing what I said, I could barely contain my laughter and my friend, with me at the time, didn't even try. I didn't mean to embarrass her but she grabbed it from me and left, red-faced.

I will look and notice. Sometimes I will silently judge the choices, or occasionally notice something I meant to buy but had forgotten. Far more often I will try to imagine "what's for dinner" given the items in the cart. Picture what I might make using those ingredients, how it would taste. The items in the cart sometimes tell a story or at least spark an imagined one.

edited to add: Like Elmer noted, sometimes the story told by the items in the cart could be quite funny if the items were haphazard.

Exactly! Said more succinctly than I did. They tell a story, what might that be?

I rarely notice, unless it is very unusual. I live close to a large university, one known for partying. My main grocery store is the same as the students. The store knows their market, and have a walk in section with kegs. One time, the guy in front of me checking out had a cart filled to the top with handles of cheap vodka. My liver hurt just looking at it. It was the middle of the day and he was surrounded by families. No one said anything, but I think we all noticed. It must have been quite a party.

Yes, I was cart shamed by comments made by a cashier, which were inappropriate and heard by customers behind me. I avoided her numerous times afterwards. People need to mind their own business.

I sometimes notice or judge what people are purchasing although only mentally and would never make any comments. If I mention a purchase from time to time, it's to make a brief sociable comment about something pleasant and neutral such as admiring a birthday cake. I enjoy such brief sociable interactions and of course it's much more fun if the enjoyment is mutual. Edited for clarity.

I take no notice of what anyone else is buying and care not one whit if anyone notices what I'm buying. I've had checkers in smaller stores (and sometimes TJ's) ask or comment about a product, "Have you tried this before? It's really great." Or, "I've not had a chance to try this; do you like it?" Maybe they will ask about a wine selection, as well.

Checkers in some stores are trained to make small talk. I am nice about it because they dont get to decide what to do and it hardly matters one way or the other. I can be questioned about some of the less known vegetables I buy-usually as to what they are but sometimes what I do with them.

I dislike grocery shopping and like to get it over with. These days I have DH in tow which is like shopping with a four year old. He wants to look at everything. I am a stick to the plan person in a store. He has a bad habit of wandering off.

I cant say I ever thought to make my cart tidy. I am more of what can be stacked on what. We do not go in very often.

I agree with Oly, I could care less about what other people buy or what someone might think of what’s in my cart. Whether you say something or not, it’s wrong to judge other’s about something so petty; especially when you don’t know them or their story.

I do notice what people have in their cart and also notice how the food choices often match the body type. When people have a lot of produce in their cart I wonder how they will ever use it all before it goes bad, but I have no way to know how many people they are feeding. I don’t really judge people. Today I had a cart with a fair amount of junk. Wonder if I was being judged.

Jumped down to comment that this made me think of a point made by Malcolm Gladwell in his recent book 'Talking To Strangers' about how we can often misinterpret people's feelings and expressions because our expectations about what emotions look like have been shaped by how actors show them in movies and TV.

Many people may look like they're expressing a particular emotion but in reality, they may be feeling something very different. That person who seems to be looking daggers at me might be a million miles away, thinking of something I have no clue about.

Of course once someone speaks, we can better understand them, but even how someone speaks may not accurately reflect what we think they're feeling.

And now, with masking, it can be even more likely we'll misinterpret. I know it's happened to me.

I haven't been in a supermarket line other than @ Trader Joe's in well over a year, but I've often idly scoped out other people's purchases, not really judging, but definitely imagining things about them.

No I don’t cart judge, but being a cashier at Safeway, I can figure out what they are having for dinner. Lots of tomatoes and ground beef, shredded cheese, I’m thinking tacos. Ground beef, tomato sauce, probably a pasta dish. Fruit and veggie trays, chips, pop, they are having a party. I have tried a lot of products by asking my customers about a product I have never seen or tried before.

If I see people with the same item in their carts then I'll know it's on sale, and I might go looking for it. Sometimes I'll forget to buy the cheese for example, that I wanted and someone will have it, and that will trigger my memory.

Standing in line, there's nothing else to do but just blindly stare at the stuff on the belt.

I suppose I do...I never say anything unless it's kind or humorous. But I will look out of curiosity...try to figure out what they're having for dinner, or if they're having cravings like I do when I load up on chocolate and ice cream!

There was that time the lady was buying a giant bag of dog food and a case of canned food, and I asked her if she had a chihuahua!

I do it to myself. I see someone ahead of me with every fresh vegetable there is, all fruits, and some high grade health chips or snacks. Then I look at my cart. Then I remind myself that is why that person in front of me is skinny and I am not. LOL

A friend who grew up working in his parents' little roadside store told me it was amazing how many people would buy Vienna sausages and Tums. He called it "dinner and dessert."

I don't really judge but I do notice if it's funny. Like the man in front of me who bought 3 items - condoms, whipped cream and a can of dog food.

One time I stopped into a store at 7 am before work and bought a bottle of bourbon for a dessert I was making that night, and the cashier just slowly nodded at me. I thought it was funny.

Thanks for the laugh, jupidupi!

And I do agree, Chi - esp. when I'm the one whose selections seem to tell a story - like rubber gloves, petroleum jelly, and a plunger😄

I'm always curious. I don't say anything to the person with the cart. I think the term 'judging' is overused as a negative term. We learn by observing and forming opinions.

I had a clerk lecture me once while checking out my groceries. I told her to try to explain the overring to the manager, mind her own business, and walked off.

No. I don't recall ever looking at someone else's cart contents.

I don't pay attention to other people's cart. I have one focus, getting in and out as

fast as possible.

A cashier told me once that they aren't allowed to comment on what people buy at their store. I think it was an Albertsons. I thought that was interesting. I've had a lot of cashiers comment on my choices but it's usually along the lines of "oh I haven't tried that - is it good?" Or telling me which products are their favorites. I enjoy the chats as they don't feel judgmental.

A check out clerk once commented I was buying way overpriced prepared cookie dough- she and I had always been friendly and chatty. I told her I had just learned I was pregnant and had a ton of things to do, plus had promised to bring cookies to a meeting, so here I was, over paying fancy pre made cookie dough. That clerk gave me a baby gift right after I gave birth. Twenty plus years later I still marvel at how kind that was- all from idle grocery store chitchat. For Bay Area peeps, that was at the old Andronico's in PA.

I am sure lots of cashiers have made some benign comment about what I am buying to make small talk. I remember a few years ago when I was procuring yet another years halloween candy haul. This was before my Walmart had self checkout so I had to go through a regular checkout. My halloween treat hauls are no joke. I buy hundreds of dollars worth of candy and other treats. A whole cart full, overflowing. Usually more than one over the course of the season. It was late September,when I always put up my decorations. She said "getting ready for halloween already?!?!" I said "nooooo." She just laughed and said "I hear ya hon. Get the good stuff for yourself!"

I rarely look in someone's cart. You just don't know why they buy things or for who, so why bother thinking about it

...so why bother thinking about it...

Because it gives one something to do while waiting in line besides read another enquirer headline about someone's alien baby, or the schizophrenic women's magazine headlines: the most luscious chocolate cake ever/how to lose 10 lbs in 10 days. I also will practice my balance while standing in line by standing on one foot...

I remember in decades past, seeing advice from love columns on how to flirt in a grocery store, and all started with a comment about a grocery store product. I can definitely see a comment flirtatious or not, bringing a smile or raising the spirits of some tired, overburdened shopper.

Of course, critical comments are never welcome and probably never work, but kindly comments can bring a ray of sunshine.

I love orzo, (rice-shaped pasta) and I've had people ask me what I do with it, when I pick the package off the shelf.

I get cart FOMO at Costco looking at what other people are buying that I missed. And the rare times I'd run into someone at the store I know, I could feel myself checking out their cart...it's like I couldnt help myself.

years ago i fed my 3 great danes a raw diet which consisted of a LOT of chicken. i always watched for leg quarters to go on sale and when they did, i'd buy a cartful. i also had the grocery store butcher get me 40# boxes of turkey necks every few weeks.

i often had people make the comment, "wow, you must really love chicken". i'd smile and say yes and leave it at that. one time, the person behind me was making a big deal about all of the chicken in my cart. it was very annoying and i wasn't about to tell her it was dog food. the cashier, however, saved me the trouble of explaining when she said (loud enough for everyone around me to hear) "oh, she doesn't eat that all herself, she feeds it to her dogs". i was mortified to think there could have been someone within hearing distance that might be struggling to feed their family and there i was, buying 100# of chicken for my DOGS.