Dr./patient relationships...
5 years ago
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Please help relationship with young adult son
Comments (3)I once had an elderly relative who I would visit occasionally. We were not close. She was my grandfather's sister and I didn't meet her until I was in my 20s. Whenever I did see her she would make some comment about how long it had been since the last phone call/visit. It didn't make it fun to see her to be reminded that I had been remiss. I would lay off anything that is remotely guilt-trip-like including comments about broken dialing fingers, etc. They aren't amusing if the relationship is the least bit strained. Do drop the phone from your plan as scheduled. Give him another notice the day before that as of tomorrow the service will end. It only takes a day to get another phone. You may not have the number any longer, however! As for how he treats you and speaks to you. Be direct be clear. Not the same as a guilt trip. I have been through this with my kids. They are not permitted to snarl at me or ignore me or treat me like an ATM machine and short order cook. I have told them how this makes me feel. That it is hurtful. I once left my 12 year old daughter at a horse show (she had a ride home) after being given the bum's rush everytime I came over to where she was. I explained that I didn't like being treated like an annoyance unless she wanted money. Since she seemed too occupied with her friends to eat with me or talk to me, I was going home. I left in tears while she stood there crying and begging me to stay. She got it. Since then she has almost always been very thoughtful aobut my presence at one of her shows. One thing I learned as a mom and an employee and as a woman was how to say no. When I wore myself out trying to do everything for everyone (and nothing for myself) no one was happy or appreciative. Once I defined boundaries, said no if it was a burden or too costly or I was tired, my family and others became far more appreciative of those things I am willing and able to do. My children thank me for home cooked meals and trips to the mall or rides or having friends over. One thing to remember about saying no (calmly and quietly with no excuses) after everyone being used to you dropping and doing on demand is that they will be surprised and angry. Trust me, it will pass. In it's place will be new respect and appreciation. Really!...See More'Modelling a Good Relationship'
Comments (6)Oh, I can totaly see how this would be hurtful to hear. Kind of like now even though it's almost 30 years later when my mother comments about my deceasd father and his death. I know what happened, I was there it does not make me feel better to talk about it. As a matter of fact she is the last person I would talk to about it because I know how bitter she felt towards him. Irregardless of whether or not she was justified. To hear about it and all those little details is painful for me to the extreme. I usually very quickly change the subject or become silent. I think your father probably does feel guilty for cheating on your mother and this maybe is his way of telling you "see I can be faithful etc.." but am sure he doesn't realize it just makes you feel worse about how it was for your mom. I think maybe next time if you could gently say Dad, I appreciate the fact that you are such a faithful man to SM, but when you tell me about how you never cheated on SM it immediately reminds me that were not to my mother so can we not talk about this and just enjoy our time together? I have asked my mother repeatedly to not discuss my father with me as it is too painful to her credit it only happens a few times a year now and since I immediately clam up she usually catches herself and stops. The only reasons I suggest you tell your dad this (gently) is so A. it stops and B. you don't have any unfinished issues with your dad at the time of his death. There are a few things I wish I would have/could have cleared up with my father, though I wasn't mature enough to put it into words at that time.. (hugs) ~Cat...See MoreCOVID-19 patient and hospital cleaner
Comments (2)Moral of the story... ALWAYS BE KIND!...See MoreMultivitamin for elderly man?
Comments (43)sea sea, the information I provided was that food is at an all time low for household spending. Someone offered a stat about spending of folks at the lowest quintile. Disparities between numbers at a mean and numbers at the lowest (or highest!) quintile, especially as percentages like these, are inherent with any bell curve and my response was to suggest that the lowest quintile info wasn't relevant to what I said and why. You seem to have misunderstood my comment and the reason for it. It has nothing to do with what you perceive to be privileges or lack thereof or a callous attitude. Believe me....See More- 5 years agolast modified: 5 years ago
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