I’ve been to a number of GW get together over the years. All of them were fun and I met great people. Of course, all were just a few hours so not enough time to grate on each other’s nerves. I only had one uncomfortable incident, way back. A little hard to explain but it really left a bad taste in my mouth for one person who no longer posts on GW.

Some cooking forum friends got together in Philadelphia when one member was coming in from CA ( anyone remember Jessy-f? aka Evil Jessy?). We ended up touring local colleges together for her sons. I wish she were still around. That get together was fun. It was a largish group.

The Kips Bay show house group and the Longwood group were particularly fun. Annie and I stayed to see the Christmas lights at Longwood and she was terrific.

I figure a trip to Mexico would not be much different from a group tour, although we already know we have some common interests. You never know who else will be there and if you’ll get along. As long as everyone accepts each other’s preferences, like early bedtimes or early rising, shopping, not shopping, etc., it will be fine. I do think planned activities help a lot.

Wish my life were in a place where I could definitely say I’m in, but I cant right now.

I do wonder how many of us who frequent this place are strongly introverted. I know I am, without a doubt. I also tend towards downright social phobia at times, and have been known to go out of my way to avoid human interaction when I'm feeling most vulnerable in that area. That said, most people are truly surprised to hear me say this about myself, as I can talk the paint off the wall most of the time, and I think I tend to cover my social awkwardness very well -- again, most of the time. If I'm feeling tired or unwell, though, then everything shifts and I tend to clam up and just sit there like a bump on a log. I also know with certainty that being in group situations, particularly around vocal extroverts, drains me after a time and I absolutely have to get away and be all alone in order to recharge. I had a terrible time with this at past work-related events that I helped plan and facilitate. We would travel together in a group of around 250 employees, and the days were very long for those of us working the events. I had to spend hours on end with one person in particular who never stopped talking. I'm not exaggerating when I say that her mouth was constantly open, and there was a continual stream of sound coming out of it. It was to the point of actually causing me to feel physically sick when I returned home. Those that don't experience this can probably never understand, but that time alone to get away from the other humans is not just a nice little 'want', it's a physical necessity for some of us.

I've had some really fun get togethers with GW friends over the years. Many are now friends IRL since we live somewhat near each other, but it is pretty difficult for me to find time to spend with any friends these days. Creepy stuff usually throws up a red flag ahead of time. I've never had any creepy in person issues here, but it was something I had to really be aware of when I tried online dating. There were some definite red flags and I'm probably more skeptical than the average person, which I think was a definite plus.

Edited to add that I'm an extrovert, so I don't take casual encounters that seriously so if I don't get on splendidly with someone I'm not too concerned by the event. I've lost a few friends over the years, but nothing here different than IRL.

This is such a great topic! It’s interesting reading these experiences and how the internet has added a new social element to society. I forgot earlier: DH is in a guitar group, and right before the pandemic hit, we’d planned to meet up with a few people at a concert in Dallas. It would’ve been so much fun, I think. They really are strangers, so I think just doing the one event would’ve worked out well.

And when I was on BHG, then HGTV boards, we were planning get-togethers. I’d always wanted to meet Bart (MAGNAVERDE). But both boards shut down, and we all drifted apart.

Ida - my whole family is introverted. We don't know how I was birthed. At Christmas, we would open packages, then sit in the living room and read. I was bonkers. However, I have a strong need to recharge which is their influence. My mother in particular talks often of how painful some social situations are for her.

Pink - I dated online for six years on and off. Probably saw a little of everything. Nothing too creepy, except I went out with five Steve's in a row. When DH wasn't a Steve, I knew it was time to marry him!

LOL, Spanish! I married a Jeff. Then I married another Jeff. Never again (and I didn't again).

I used to play bridge online. I often played with one particular woman who it turned out lived within a reasonable distance. We met up for lunch once or twice. While she was very nice and personable, I got so bashful that conversation was painful. It was totally my fault. She was as funny and outgoing in person as she was online. I was a lump. I‘m shyer than I thought I was.

I could almost have written IC’s post 3 or 4 up about being introverted and socially awkward/phobic. And the older I get, the worse it gets.

I'm on the extravert/introvert cusp and can go either way, depending on my energy level. I'm not shy or think of myself as socially awkward, but I have a low threshold for meandering small talk. Or talk about something in which I have no interest. [I just deleted two examples because that might offend 75% of the dear board members.]

One other thing about the meet-up with some other board members. As many of you can relate, we hold back stuff online and at the other extreme may be more comfortable sharing things with "strangers" than we would our IRL family and friends. So imagine my discomfort when someone at the meet-up brought two things up that I had no desire to discuss, with her, with the group, at all.

I've met with GWers twice now - once on the east coast and once on the west. It was delightful but it was just for a few hours. Well three times if you count when DH and I met up with Mtn and DH for the opera in Santa Fe. Mr Mtn also kindly went along for a round of golf with my golf obsessed DH.

I'm right in the middle of introvert/extravert too but I definitely get to the point where I've had too much people time and just need to get away from everyone for a while. And every now and then some people are just too much in my face and I can't stand it. However this proposed trip doesn't really give me angst - maybe because I've at least met some of the people who are considering going. I expect people would have flexibility to do their own thing especially with a larger group. Everyone doesn't have the same interests or in my case the same capability (I won't be taking long walks or going hiking with my prosthetic leg).

I think of this as a fabulous adventure - seeing a new place, meeting new people, staying in a cool vacation rental. Part of the adventure is embracing the unknown and figuring it out. Getting outside the comfort zone keeps us young!

ETA: I did meet someone in person years ago from the Kitchens forum. I was in her city and visited with her at her home. It was interesting but I knew she was not my cup o' tea. I feel like I "know" some of you much better and could spend a long weekend with you. And I'm pretty laid back - live and live as they say.

I mentioned in the other thread about how enjoyable the first meet up with my online “book club” was. “Book Club” is in quotes because a subgroup had formed years before the first trip and we hadn’t talked about books in a long time. We still seldom talk about books within this small offshoot.

I do think that is what happens with forums. People first get together for one reason, then you gravitate towards members who you mesh with. Out of a group of over 200 members, our subgroup consisted of about 20 who developed friendships. Of those 20, fifteen of us met at a member’s beautiful ranch outside Santa Barbara.

We all arrived separately. It turns out that we all had planned secret exit strategies, just in case.

What worked for us was the fact that we had already shared so much about our everyday lives. We knew who we were. We knew as much about each other’s lives as our real life friends. We knew which ones of us had struggled to be able to afford a trip. We knew who would soon become a high ranking state official. We knew who was dealing with heartbreak.

We do not bring pets, kids or husbands. Although we have now met many of our families.

Our group has gotten together almost biennially since that first meeting.

When meeting in an urban or beach area we stay in hotels. (We even camped one weekend...wet our pants laughter! Will never do it again.)

Usually one person is put in charge of a loose planning of our weekends. If that person finds there are tickets available for an event, she’ll send out the info, we quickly OK (or nix) the purchase and send the $$ to the person doing the planning.

When someone wants alone time, it’s ok and respected.

I’ve also met other members of the initial group. By the time appetizers were over, I knew that we were not a friendship match. Nice people but not people I would want to spend more time then a meal takes. Always have that exit plan.

I've met quite a few online friends IRL. Most were one on one, lunch and an activity type things though one meet-up was not only with my DH but both of my sons and not yet DIL when we traveled to CA for a wedding. She got the whole DLM2000 experience and we've remained friends ;-). I met up with one woman and her DH when I was in their state for a convention then she and her DH came to our house for a weekend a few years later. Another came with her DH to a convention in our state and we did Chicago stuff for a couple of days while her DH was in meetings. Most of these people have been part of my life for over 20 years now and we've been through life together from a distance. Their place in my life is different than the people I regularly see but very meaningful. I don't have or need a large group of friends and prefer to socialize in person with people who know, understand and accept my generally quiet nature. I can happily mingle in a crowd but that's not my usual M.O. and probably even less so since my hermit covid life. My most recent online meet-up was someone I met through the Building forum here. We both moved this new-to-us-southernish-town, built houses and are originally from the midwest. That midwestern kinship is huge to me and she's become my closest friend here - added bonus our DHs are friendly, too.

The SMA trip sounds lovely and a place on my travel wish list but not in the cards for me for a meet-up. I'll look forward to the planning and after party here, though! We are planning a post-covid trip to Isla Holbox with our DSs. DIL and DGD plus we have a great deal of time to make up for with other friends and family so that's our travel for the foreseeable future.

I've only met one on-line friend IRL. Low and behold, our first in person meeting, I had her stay at our house! But we had "known" each other online for quite some time, knew so much about each other's families, etc. In fact, she "knew" my best friend IRL just from hearing about her. So on the second night of her visit, we got together with my best friend and her husband! That sounds weird but it was really a great visit. I don't see myself as an introvert or shy, although I guess I can be around a group of people I don't know. But I have my "circle" and am more of a one-on-one or small group of friends type. I am fiercely protective of those relationships. My online friend has been a part of my life for quite some time.

I did meet up with some online chat friends at the Nashville Garden show several years ago. We all were part of a mid-south gardener's chat group on a gardening website. The website still exists but we have long since disbanded due to member drop-out for various reasons. However many of us still stay in touch on a private FB page now and then or through texts. Funny how that turned out.

Anyway, when we arranged the meet-up, most of us stayed over on a Friday night so we could get an early start at the garden show on Saturday. We met for dinner at a pre-arranged location and enjoyed meeting each other. We had exchanged phone numbers and then decided on a meeting time at the show. We split up for the garden displays and vendors and decided where to meet for lunch. Of course some of us gravitated to each other as is natural in a group situation I think. Some of it was due to specific interests at the show, so we headed in different directions (it is a very large show, both indoor and outdoor portions with seminars). Anyway, no great drama occurred and we all had a good time and went home. As I said, many of us stay in touch, if on an irregular basis just to check in on health and family status.

Some of us met again a few years later for a plant swap at a home in eastern Mississippi, which is (or was, the owner died a couple of years ago) a real plant showplace. We brought luncheon dishes to share and toured his gardens. A very enjoyable, relaxing day.

As for the SMA trip, I may be the 'elder' on the trip! But I am active and don't think I will slow anyone down, or at least I hope not. I do like a siesta now and then, admittedly, especially if on vacation. The strolling about looking at pottery, jewelry, art are of interest to me. I am an extrovert, but my introvert side sometimes shows up in certain situations and I hang back.

Having met people online since the late 80s (CompuServe, then), I have had to say I have never had a bad experience, but there was one semi-uncomfortable one around 1990. No, people are seldom if ever exactly as I pictured them from the digital distance, For me, an avowed introvert, I probably seem less so online than I am in reality. I do make sure my connections are over shared interests, rather than a desire to "date". (I have NEVER used an online dating service. I have NEVER wanted to meet any future partnerships on such a thing! Interests and conversations come first!)

I can't recall if it was three or four years ago - I think the latter - some of us from GW met up in Maine for a wonderful day together. It was relaxing and good, and we shared foods and conversations and a great southern Maine ambiance.

That awkward time? I think it was about the second time I met anyone from online, but fortunately when he came down for a gathering (with a specific purpose) I had a few of my local friends around as well. HE was hoping for a hop in the hay (as it were), but we kept ourselves focused on the actual purpose of our get together, and he got over himself.

He disappeared, but I am still happy with several really good friends I've met online; and whom I've subsequently met in person. It adds a depth.

When I arrived to US, first time, many years ago, it was due to my first husband job transfer, and I was very depressed-I didn't want to move at all, not temporarily and not forever, my career took a severe blow, my very young kids had to be dragged back and forth...

and the only real peope close to me were: my family, especially my beloved sister in Boston, MA, and a long time friend from uni who moved to Silicon Valley several years before. Later I discovered one of my school friends was living and working in Pennsylvania. Then later another close friend of mine and her family moved to NJ .

We ourselvlves lived in Fairfield County CT-so we did go to PA, and NJ, and especially MA, as they did too, but at certain point I understood I'm here-and I need to start to talk to people, because folks you meet on playground-it doesn't mean you have something in common with, but a language sometimes, and kids of the same age.

So besides those friends (the PA girl moved around a lot, she married someone who joined military, and after that they changed several states, they went to Italy for 3 years, and now they're in England, Last time I saw her was when we went to New Orleans, and they drove from Biloxi to get together.)..

besides these friends, everybody I met I first met online.

I think I saw close to 200 people irl that I first met online.

Some, I saw once or twice, or several times and only in gettogethers. some I saw a lot. some became my friends. Some of them I lost on the way. some of them I didn't. some of them I married(ok..only one))

Was it sometimes awkward or not something I expected? Maybe. More often it would be fun. it became very real life with many people. Of course out of 200-it became very real life, say, with 50..)) we keep in touch for years, some of us, more than decade...we took trips together, and rented Airnbnbs, and stopped at each others' places, and celebrated holidays together, and had parties.

Not everybody is my close friend-but I love them, and those few who really became close, I cherish. And it pains me if we grow distant with s couple friends we were closer before. My move from East Coast to West played its role, my re-marrying did, and whatnot. just like in real life..

I don't see how I'd meet people here if it wasn't for online thing. People-that-I-can-talk-with and enjoy being with. I'm actually quite shy..apparently not shy enough to go here and there to this and that get together)) but that's after I know whom I'm meeting.

Right now I feel very old and like I don't see enough olf my favorite people..which is true, and this was one crazy year, and this one promises not to be much better. we'll see.

ETA: a) sorry for the long post and typos..b) read mtn's post..yes, i guess promiscuous is the word for me))

I seem to have been the most promiscuous; here's my list. I went to a NYC luncheon very early on (2010 maybe) and we had such a nice time; I remember Marthvila, Catmom, and Rococogurl and ..was it ... RMKitchen? As I've often told, I randomly drove by a house that I recognized as Annie Deighnaugh's! She is on a country road and we were taking the back way from our house to look at vintage refrigerators an hour away, so it was quite serendipitous; we've gotten together several times since and she is a doll. SueB and I met up in Seattle with our DH's a few years ago, which was great fun. I had a lovely group over to my house in Maine for lunch (Robo, Arapaho, Artemis, 2Katz, OldBat2Be, AnnieD). The wonderful Texanjana and her DH also visited us in Maine (and then, last year, we met up with our daughters at the Brooklyn Art Museum), and 2Katz and our DH's had a delightful picnic at the Santa Fe opera. On an earlier trip to Santa Fe, I met 3 great gardenweb ladies for lunch (LynnNM, Jakabedy and TishTosh). We did our NYC house tour 2 years ago ... were we 8 or 10 (Cyn, Bpath, Gscience, Jojo, AnnieD, Dedtired, Kitch, Eld, and CzarinaLex) and that was a hit I think; we talked about doing it in 2020 (sigh) and renting a NYC AirBnB so we could chill together. I for one felt I did not get enough time to talk to everyone in depth. Though we did get more time with some of the group later than year when we did a winter garden tour in PA graciously and expertly led by Jojo (with Dedtired, AnnieD, SalonVa and MaireCate, I think). Just this past September, AnnieD and I took a sunny ride in the convertible to meet a group on a picturesque New England green for a picnic (with Roarah, Jojo, and NinasMom ) . I hope I haven't forgotten anyone but I bet I have!

So, is it awkward? Yes, a little bit. That's what margaritas are for. I think the most awkward part is talking to another GW'er in front of your spouse. We all know a lot about each other, but the DH is meeting a stranger who may wonder why you know the family medical history, his preferred sheet threadcount, and why you don't like his sister. I think it's easier without spouses at least some of the time or at least for the first meeting.

The other awkward part is kind of like the difference between a book and a movie. We imagine a whole person, but who meet IRL probably sounds and looks very different, which takes getting used to.

I would expect that there will be some people you hit it off with, some are neutral and some may rub you the wrong way. I think one has to enter into the experience with that expectation and be willing to roll with the punches. It's like any other group in that way: coworkers, dormmates. It's in fact a bit better since we do know each other well on line.

Don't tell my Mom, but several years ago (my kids were toddlers), I had 19 people sleep over my house (our first house had 10 bedrooms), all friends from a WW website, for a "spa" overnight. I'd met a few already who were local. We had so much fun. Yes, it was an almost random mix of people but I think we all had the right attitude about it. We ended up going to 2 weddings of people from that group.

The biggest chance I took was the trip to Roan Mountain, which is partially in the western part of North Carolina. Something like 12 or so of us went for an extended weekend, somewhere in the mid 1990s. We were part of the same religious/spiritual group. I went - had an awesome time, and still know some of them today. Unfortunately, we all live too far apart to visit, especially during COVID. I try to take rational chances, but there are in some ways more risks today than then.

EDIT: I'd never met any of these people before in person. But it worked out fine, and indeed awesomely.

Hmmm.. Dare I forget New Orleans Halloween the fall before Katrina? I hadn't met any of these folks earlier in person, either. About 16 of us...From a creative writing/history website. We'd been interacting so often, it didn't seem like a stretch at all.

I’m pathologically shy and it takes long, close relationships for me to be truly myself. Professionally, I’ve had to power through an onslaught of fast-paced, high stakes meetings every single day, often including weekends. Interactions like that, I can fake it, because there is a purpose to the meeting around which I can supplement the social part.

I was actually kicking myself for saying I could join as soon as I did it. For that reason, I didn’t complete the survey (which was so clever and funny, Mtn!) I may still complete it and actually join too. Agree with mtn that alcohol is a good lubricator.

back in the late 80s and early 90s, before the World Wide Web became available for general users in ‘93, there used to be “discussion groups” frequented primarily by folks in academia, research labs and such. I was active in a couple of them and later started one of my own. I met a couple of them in real life. It was interesting.

I had a lovely lunch with Sushipup a few years ago.

I didn’t find out until afterwards, but I was in the Zurich airport the same day as Sueb. So far and yet so close.

I thought I might get a chance to meet 3Katz on a trip to the Mpls area, but my event took up more of my time than I originally expected.

I wasn’t able to join the Longwood outing, and hope if there’s another I can attend.

I guess l‘ve had more near misses than hits.

I had breakfast with the blogger behind the Vivienne Files. It was thanks to a blog post she wrote that I was in Chicago for an exhibit at the Arts Institute. I emailed to thank her for mentioning it and we agreed to meet for a meal.

I have never met anyone from online relationships, but like many, I have met people at conferences or family reunions that I've emailed with in advance. I can't remember any super negative experiences.

If the timing works, I'd like to join the SMdA party. My thoughts?

Looking forward to:

• meeting new/old friends
• touring a new place with people whom I think will appreciate it in similar ways (architecture, culture, food, etc.)

Worried about:

• I'm a visual person and I'm kind of worried I'll offend by not remembering who did what or how many children they have, that sort of thing. I find it really difficult without a face to connect these things to (also, I just have a lousy memory in general).
• I'm a weird mix of introvert, but have a strong need to fit in. What if no one likes me?

The three meetings I have had with three members of this group I have enjoyed so much. The conversations are engaging , effortless and enlightening. I know I would enjoy a longer visit!

I would likely stay in a hotel just because I have diet restrictions and I need consistent sleep hours or my stroke deficits and headaches act up when I am off routine. My husband’s rectal cancer has made the need for a private bathroom a must as well. This is how I now visit long time friends and family too.

I did a lot of online dating back in the day and I often find that if I clique with someone online I will likely clique IRL too. I use to drink a bit on the first meeting which likely helped break the ice. However, I usually do not drink anymore but have met people from this group and an online stroke survivors’ group and felt at ease without a drink too.

I think it is important that anyone traveling in a group, be it family, long time friends or an online interest group, be upfront and honest with their needs and expectations and also we all need to withhold any judgements about others’ needs and expectations.

The thought of this trip is a lot like the feeling I would have before a first date or while waiting in a rollercoaster line, simultaneously exciting and terrifying.

I'm a weird mix of introvert, but have a strong need to fit in. What if no one likes me?

Yes! I feel the same, although it's not the easiest thing to admit, so I'm glad you opened the door to that fear of not being liked. I do think that it's wonderful to be able to discuss these expectations and worries prior to a get-together, and maybe once folks are all together, everyone can have a nice chuckle over how the worries were all for nothing.

I have lately been keenly aware of how much I value authenticity in other people. I think the very openness shared in this thread alone goes a long way towards making us all that much more "real" to each other.

I have met an online friend in person. We live on opposite sides of the country. We had been online friends for many years, exchanged photos, had phone calls but not met. I flew to her parts because my dh is a certified introvert and can not tolerate when I have company stay over. He will stay in locked in a bedroom only to come out for food and drink. It gets awkward. So I went there. Stayed at her lovely home for a few days. We got along just fine. We are both the same in person as online, so that helped. No surprises. But I understood going in that IRL, she and I wouldn't or couldn't be bff. I don't know if she feels the same as me though. She might. I'm rather polite, quiet, but still speak my mind and again quiet. I speak of course, and I do it well, but I don't make a lot of noise, if that makes sense. Kind of like some toddlers play quietly while others are bam! in your face and always loud, yelling, screaming, banging things. I'm the quiet toddler. She, is loud toddler and it's quite hard to get a word in edgewise, if you've known that type of person. She's also impulsive and I'm not. So, those things pretty much prevent an IRL close friendship as I organically, can only be with that type of person for short amounts of time. I love her dearly, but I have to be mindful of my needs and my limitations. Online or on the phone, it's different. There's a start and finish and you go on with the rest of your day without the other. But we were together for days, at her home. I did tend to get strain headaches when there because she is more 'on' than I am. I need a certain amount of quiet to happen in my day.

I'm sure it's the same with a trip like this. Different personalities and different needs for activities and downtime. But I think that most if not all the people here are understanding of such things and it would all work out very well! It did for my online friend and I. I am glad I did it. And she is too. One day, we will do it again, but I'm just not a good traveler and I have the dh issue here, so it will likely not be for some time as I have go there.

I hope you all have a wonderful trip! It will be fun. Those with hesitations don't have to go, or even could go, but have enough alone time to yourselves and then rejoin the group. Different strokes for different folks, as the old saying goes.

Local and Ida, as the de facto hostess, it is my job to make people feel welcome, accepted ... liked. But I am pretty sure I will like y'all. If not, I promise to fake it. ; )

I do agree we should have a lot of flexibility in re how people want to be a part of this. The fact that, unless we take over a monastery, we can't house everyone in one place anyway, is actually a positive. People who prefer staying on their own, should feel free to. But I have to say my ideal would be all of us having a mingling group dinner and sangria on a lovely outdoor patio in this beautiful locale. I also agree with Bpath, it should include some sort of activity to help break the ice. Flamenco lessons? Masks? Cooking? IDK

I have a very best best best friend, since 7th grade. Two other very close friends from my old 'hood. And a close friend I worked with 20yrs ago. But I don't really have a ton of friends beyond that group, and none of those people are local. One of my closest friends is friends with, it seems, everyone. I see the value in that. I now try to expand friendships and not expect 100% compatibility. I think especially as we get older, if we are not proactive, our circles can really shrink. I think that's a loss.

MTNR, you have become our very own Julie McCoy, cruise director! Thank you for being such a great virtual and actual hostess!

”I think the most awkward part is talking to another GW'er in front of your spouse. We all know a lot about each other, but the DH is meeting a stranger who may wonder why you know the family medical history, his preferred sheet threadcount, and why you don't like his sister.”

😂

“MTNR, you have become our very own Julie McCoy, cruise director!”

I've had 3 different meetings with different sets of people from another forum (not GW). It's a closed forum, meaning the posts there are not publically viewable, and it's related to a disease we all share.

They were all people I adored online. We share really personal stuff there so people start to form deep connections.

This was all pre-covid, and the best experience was everyone meeting for dinner at a restaurant in NYC. It was a short, time limited event with alcohol. :)

There was a lot more awkwardness than I expected considering how well we knew each other. But as others said upthread, there are just some things that don't come through online and so once you get in person....people can sound or act different than the picture you had in your mind.

I have met people from here and also from the gardening side. Never had a problem at all. Some of us from here met in NYC, had lunch, and toured a designer house. Limited time, lots of fun and good conversation, no awkwardness at all.

With my gardening friends, we spent a long weekend, stayed in a local hotel, toured many gardens both public and private. One of the most delightful weekends ever, but then, we knew each other online and shared our love of gardening. I was the newbie on that trip and the others had done many such trips together in various parts of the country other years, but I could never go because I was still teaching and vacations are not flexible for teachers. Now that I am retired, I am hoping we can do a similar trip once the pandemic ends. I do see two of that group pretty regularly (before covid, that is) since we live within an hour of one another. It is wonderful to count them among real and not just imaginary friends!

i would say that making sure everyone has a chance to be included in planning ahead of time could help if it is for a couple of days. Finding out after you are already there that you and the others have different ideas of fun can result in the less than optimal situation such as yours. Sometimes, I suppose personalities just don’t mesh. I can assure you that those I have met here are fun, interesting, and lovely people.

And, if you aren’t there, how do you know if others gossip or speak unkindly when you are not present? Bottom line-if another person from the group is unkind enough to tell you something like that, then I would consider the source and dismiss it.

OMG no way will we run out of stuff to talk about. A discussion of our intra/extravertness alone would keep us going for hours! I’m up for the communal living arrangement as you all are the reason I’m going. 😊

2katz, that is sweet.

Back when I was single I went anywhere I could go. There were some fan forums and I'd drive down from Virginia to Myrtle Beach House of Blues for concerts. Always had my own hotel. This was 90's and early 2000's. The biggest trip I ever did was meet with with KISS fans to see the KISS Symphony show in Melbourne, Australia. One of my girlfriends went with me, because both of us wanted to go to Australia. It was a lot of fun, and one of the guys found out about a dress rehearsal the night before, so we were part of only a couple hundred people who got in for that show. Then, of course, I did the Kips Bay which was awesome. That was especially easy because it was just a day trip, so easy to get back and forth from here to NYC because there were about 6 flights per day. The garden trip would have been harder because it would have involved planes, trains, and automobiles, but then DH had to go with MIL to Chicago to help move his aunt to assisted living, so I couldn't go anyways. The Mexico trip would be very hard for many reasons especially since it is very difficult to travel during the academic year, distance, and location. The Kips Bay trip was also after school let out so that was also easier. Summer is always better.

This is my only online group, and Mtn and family are the only ones I’ve met. DH and I started the first meeting by going to the wrong door of their Maine house. Oops. She and her DH graciously gave us a tour of their home (incredible), and we had a lovely lunch on their porch which included sangria. I thought we all hit it off and we had a great time. DD and I also enjoyed our lunch with Mtn and her girls in NY. My DD is a bit shy, and i think she thought I was a little nuts for meeting up with an “online friend,” but she did enjoy it.

Unfortunately when Mtn and family were in Austin, we already had plans so our meetup didn’t work out-come back Mtn!

So, while the initial meeting might be a bit awkward I look forward to meeting many more of you.

Please, please, please, can we do the Kips Bay show house again when the corona cooties are under control? I have always wanted to go. I even have a place to stay! A lovely couple to whom I am related by marriage live in Oyster Bay and have given me carte blanche to stay with them anytime I’m in the area.

Yes!

After the first one, I think we all agreed we wanted to do Kips Bay house again. Of course, fast forward to May 2020 and well...

But for some odd reason, on my phone, I have the thread from that trip bookmarked. And the way I get to Houzz when I'm on my phone is to open that bookmark and then click on "Home Decoration Convo" at the very top. So, I am often reminded of that GTG.

Texanjana, We had such a nice time with you and DH and with you and our DDs. I do hope we meet again, in whatever permutation!

I met a group of about 12 from a much larger group several years ago. As with this group, I didn't participate much and think many were surprised when I signed up~~ maybe even a little skeptical, however, their concerns were quickly put to rest. ;) The entire group got along great and we had an amazing time. Conversation was easy and non stop. If I were to participate in another, I'd want my own room. My roommate and I were very compatible but she wanted to talk into the wee hours when I was ready to sleep. TBH, I appreciate my own space at the end of a busy day and don't like sharing a bathroom. IIRC we had two (maybe three?) full days together. Though I'm sure we all shared some of the same concerns you expressed, Ida, (I know I did), it turned out to be a fun, warm, friendly, very special weekend which I know we all remember fondly.

The Kips Bay gtg was so much fun. I think Kitchenwitch and I walked right by Annie, not knowing who she was. I also went up to NYC to meet up with LoveRGoldens and we keep in touch ( hello, you lurker). She went to the CA gtg and filled me in on what a terrific bunch you are.

Many years ago I went to a gtg at the home of a Cooking forum member. We still stay in touch via Facebook. I can’t even remember who was there!

I think I am pretty extroverted, definitely not shy, but there are times when I like to sit back and listen.

Years ago (probably 15,) I was very active on the Cooking Forum. During that time, I met several folks from that forum. For the most part, those meet ups were fun although some of the posters were far more reserved than others. My last Cooking Forum meeting was last year with with a very long-time CF member (Chase, from Canada) and her husband. I gave them a private tour of Longwood. Sadly, Chase was banned from GW for political views.

I have to say, our little home decorating conversations corner of the internet is different. Those whom I have had the pleasure of meeting have been warm and friendly. I did the Kips Bay lunch and tour, lunch with Rorah, a Longwood Gardens grand tour with a whole group, and the New England picnic on the green this past summer. I can say without reservation, that this would be a great group to vacation with in Mexico.

Bpath, Mtn, here is an activity to break the ice: people show up without revealing their online name on this forum. Everyone gets together for the first large group meal/drink at the end of which each person has to guess the online identity of one person there, someone whose identity they feel confident about guessing. And give the reasons for their guess. I know we’ve seen pics of some forum members and they‘re a known entity, but the majority of us here have no visual clue about the others based on our interaction here.

Nuts, too funny, I thought of that too. But I think some of us know too many of each other. (grammar on that one?)

Mtn, you’re disqualified from playing, being the most “promiscuous” one. You be knowing! From the comments here and on your thread, it looks like about a dozen of the folks have met a subset of the dozen (grammar? Math?). So, you be the MC.

LOL, i do think it's a fun idea!

I haven’t had the chance to really read the trip thread yet....but it sounds amazing and fun!

I have met online people before through a mom’s group that was online, but set up local playgroups. I had a nice time the few times I went, but the group was fairly diverse (not in a racial or ethnic way, that would’ve been fine) but just in a general kind of way (parenting styles, background, etc) and while I have no problem chatting and making new friends, I am really fortunate in that I have a lot of very dear irl friends. As a new mom, I quickly started to realize that I wanted to spend my dwindling free time with friends that KNOW me, that love me, and we can just hang with no ”getting to know you” stuff. You know, the friends where you can have laughs that make your belly hurt and tears stream out of your eyes. 😊 So I just stopped going to the online playgroups, and gradually stopped going to the website altogether bc, idk, once you get the hang of being a mom you have fewer burning questions about spit up and diaper brands.😂

That being said, I would love to meet y’all irl! I’m very extroverted and jolly (according to others, lol) especially when I am sipping my bourbon & Diet Coke. 😂 I am great at traveling in groups bc dd & I did it so much for cheer...lots of time with other moms at random hotels, and even though all our girls are getting ready to graduate, I have made a group of about 4 of us that still get together outside of cheer, and we probably always will. I also do annual girls trips with my group of seven besties...which are just beyond fun. This same group also travels with our dhs bc they are all friends as well.

I think I just try to always be easy going & the people I enjoy the most are easy going as well. No need for drama if you’re all there to have fun. (That said...there were definitely some cheer mamas who did NOT follow that philosophy! I just avoided...) 😂

Off to peruse the trip thread...

oh, I had totally forgot this story but years ago I went to another gathering from another group (much more mixed). There was a dinner meet up and it was great to meet people who you knew only from pseudonyms. Then afterwards we headed onward to an event, and various discussions started happening. I suddenly had a realization as we were walking that I was being chatted up. It was so out of context that I had not realized it at first. Then, later, as I was talking to another guy, out of the blue at the hotel I got propositioned. It was a pretty bizarre to happen in a non-bar, non party, context.

I did meet someone from another cooking forum IRL. I have a standing invite for both families to get together post COVID.

I have only met one person from this forum (Beekeeperswife-- who is lovely and fun!) . We got together fairly regularly for a bit but I was going through a tough time and our gatherings fell off and then she moved from the area. Sadly, I've lost touch. We didn't share much in common but that didn't get in the way of anything.

Ive met a few groups from past online forums -- though those gatherings were 20+ yr ago, I never really had an issue with the meetings. I too had a few experiences like gooster where a man was interested in a different kind of relationship lol... but really, the things i found most uncomfortable were the instances where women wanted to be "besties" and were a little overbearing in trying to plan and schedule things together. This isn't limited to people Ive met online-- i have the same issues IRL. I am an introvert, i am busy and I don't love to fill my free time with social gatherings. I fiercely protect my downtime and that is off putting to people who don't know me well (and even some who do).

Yeah, sorry, I got a little off track there-- I think meeting people from online is not so different--and in many cases easier than meeting people in a professional gathering or even a social gathering where you don't know many people. I have had many professional meetings or multi-day training sessions with groups where I know no one. I have never had an issue finding interesting people or kindred spirits and that makes it easier to participate in discussions/group dinners etc.

Our group has the advantage of years of experience with each other. How many times do you find yourself thinking, "oh Sue would love this necklace" or "Mtn would love this tablescape" or "Outside would love this new thriller". I dont' know, maybe i am odd that way lol... but I do think of GWers through my days. I don't imagine anyone will be struggling for something to say-- shy or exuberant, everyone will have something to contribute to a conversation! Will everyone love each other? No, surely not-- but it's not like we love everyone we meet in our own communities-- but we do share common interests so we all have threads of connection!

I think it's pretty unlikely that I will be able to join the group trip-- but that's more a function of my work (funding for my current project ends in Sept/Oct and by January I will be ramping up the next project). If i am able to make the trip, i will plan it in a way to allow me the things i need and want in a trip... primarily some solo time-- but what could possibly be better than a combo of time with myself (and/or with a partner) and time with a vibrant group of interesting women I've had the honor of getting to know over the last 15 yr?!! And where better to find an enabler to nudge me to buy that piece of art or jewelry I love but can't fully justify!!!

Edited to add an apology for the length of my post! A combo of too much coffee and procrastinating my next task!

I have met people IRL from a travel forum I have participated in since 2004. The first time was a luncheon at a restaurant in Atlanta with about ten people. It was fun and I didn’t hesitate to offer to host the next meeting, a day at our house with lunch for about fifteen people from the same forum. The third time a lovely young teacher with newly adopted twins came for an afternoon and that was the most fun. These three meetings were all within the space of a year and a half, Unfortunately one of the people who attended the group meeting at my house became a bit of a nuisance afterwards and I haven’t gone to a gtg of that group since.

Funky — let me know if you want my address for those times when you see a necklace I’d love!

I think it would be fun to play some goofy ice breaking games with this group. I know I’d have a hard time keeping straight all the GW names vs real names. I might just have to use the GW names. “FunkyArt, need a refill on that margarita?“ “TwoCats, are you ready to go shopping?”

I so enjoyed our SoCal get-together in 2019. I'm happy that we were able to do it before COVID struck.

I attended a get-together with members of The Kitchen Table some years ago. We had an enjoyable afternoon, but there were no subsequent get-togethers and slowly those posters drifted away (or changed their names).

I think you have to be a little bit careful of the impact of IRL get-togethers on the forum. Sometimes, those that have met IRL start to form an exclusive subgroup without realizing it, then other members feel alienated and eventually leave which I think makes the forum less interesting.

I'm already sad that some of our posters left as the result of the events of 2020 and haven't returned. I know it's probably natural in the evolution of a forum, but I miss their participation.

Yes, that^^^^^^^