Isn't it a shame that many of us, myself included, will selflessly end a suffering pet's life peaceably, held tightly in our loving arms but we feel ashamed to wish someone who is suffering horribly to pass away peacefully while they sleep? Sometimes I think when people try to get someone ... or something in the case of pets ... to hang on despite all their pain, they are doing it more for themselves than for the one suffering. I don't think you should feel guilty at all. To me it is selfless to hope for a quick end to someone else's pain and suffering by God's gentle hand. I am so sorry to hear that he suffered so but it is wonderful to know that he was so loved and admired by his family. You, your husband and the rest of the family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Big hugs, Kathy

Do not be too hard on yourself. Your cat did not blame you and it is unfortunate that she died. I too have a little guy and can only imagine when he too dies. We all make mistakes and if you TRULY thought he was in serious danger you would have taken him in, you know that! I am sorry.

My DD is adopted. We got her when she was 6 weeks old. Her daddy died when she was 15 & couple of years later she wanted to know if I thought it was a good idea to find her birth mom. I thought it was great idea. Get medical history, maybe she was longing to see her etc. She went to couple of meetings of people looking for birth parents & I had told her doesn't always turn out well. Ended up mixed bag. Birth mom was shocked & not happy her secret was out,2 older siblings were glad, cousin was thrilled & very helpful. DD told birth mom dying (couple of yrs ago), she made it to the funeral. It was worth it tho she would have liked to talk to her in person. You will always wonder if you don't contact them & if you do you might have a nice extended family. Years ago it was very shameful to have child out of wedlock, if girl was young her parents stepped in & stopped them from marrying etc.I think they will be happy to find out that you are related by blood. Even if you never meet them you can email or write & would be good idea to find out if cancer runs in family & what kind it was as you might want to be getting checked more often if colon or another type that often runs in families. My parents are 89 & 95 & I know it will be hard to lose them but I see them everyday & help with their care.Glad you had your parents for a long time too. Questions will eat away at you & I think you will at least get some info. Wondering why you never saw your brother if grandparents adopted him, did you move far away & never had contact with grandparents again. Sounds like GP's did make mom give him up. How old was she when he was born, 21, I think if I did the math right? Any indication of who father was & what happened to him? Was she in college? Sometimes parents just didn't think guy was proper for their daughter. I think your mom may not have had much to do with it & therefore was estranged from her parents which would be very hard to deal with. Glad she got a good man in your dad! Good Luck!

It's been just over 3 months since I had to make the decision to basically unplug my husband's life support. He was sick for just over 3 weeks. No one, not even the doctors realized how sick he was. Apparently his liver hadn't been working at full capacity for 3 years. With the heat this summer he became dehydrated. After 2 weeks of tests I got a call from our doctor when he came in at 7:30 to call 911 and get him to the hospital. He told me that he was so sorry to be dying on me, that he hoped he had left everything okay for me. That was the last conversation we had. He had help from the paramedics walking to the guerney. By the time he was at the hospital he could barely answer questions with one word. They transfeerred him after 2 days to a University Hospital with a liver transplant unit. He went through days of tests and was accepted for a liver, but there weren't any. I know he always knew when I was there. He was on the transplant list for about 12 hours when his body started giving out and he couldn't have a transplant anymore. We started calling fmily telling them that we would be turning off the machines. Family and friends came to say goodbye, I don't think he ever knew they were there. There was a break of about 20 minutes while most of them went to get a cup of coffee. We were trying to get hold of his brother in California, to see if he was on the way. I had to tell my soulmate that I was keeping the promise I had made to him. I wasn't going to keep him in limbo like his stepfather was. That we lost the fight and the nurses were going to be giving him medicine to relax him and start turning off the machines. He shut his eyes halfway, the was they stayed until the doctor closed them. He always told me that he could hear my voice even when he seemed to be not there. I have always been able to tell when he was there, waking out of anathesia when I heard his footsteps, only his voice holding me to consiousness when passing out during chemo, so I know he heard me. I don't think there can be a harder decision to make, or a harder thing to tell a loved one. All I know is that I promised to always tell him the truth, and never make him hang on when there was no chance of a good life. One thing that has made it easier at times, is the fact they found lung cancer after he died. If he had lived, or had a transplant, he would have had the death that he feared. He had asthma so he always feared struggling for breath until he died. I am lucky in that my oldest son was supporting me and being a go between with my in-laws. I don't know if they all thought I did the right thing. They were told we were doing what he wanted. Including no viewing, and I managed that by ordering him cremated immediately after the autopsy. Sometimes I wish I hadn't cremated him, but I didn't want anyone demanding to see him. I have one brother-in-law and wife that I really like and we as couples thought just alike. I have always accepted the others (including MIL) for what they are, but I know that the decisions I made were not what they wanted. I decided years ago that he was mine legally and I would decide what he and I wanted. You can't second guess decisions you make. You make them with the knowledge you have. I am waiting for the good dreams. Recently I have been having nightmares about him having the cancer.