Need to adjust to being an empty nester...
nekotish
3 years ago
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Elizabeth
3 years agonekotish
3 years agoRelated Discussions
We're Empty Nesters Now....Waaahhhh :(
Comments (9)oh....... COUNTRY GIRL!!!! My heart goes out.... to you (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Y O U )))))))))))))))))))))))!!!! I just wanna hug you !!!! Dang it... YES I REMEMBER WHAT IT FEELS LIKE WHEN YOUR D D goes off to college..... OH my gosh... I'm just gonna get in my car and come over to your house.... I was So DANG Lonely..... I still flip out... I was just running thru the house... I would go upstairs to her room... and just Sit... then..... I would get on her bed... thinking I would feel better... but sure enough.... TEARS> TEARS>> and just more T E A R S !!!!! She was my Only child... she was only... 50 miles away... but I Was a CHRISTMAS " F R U I T ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ C A K E !!!!!!!!!!" yes... the dreaded Christmas Fruit Cake.... the one that NO BODY wanted to see... or be around... BUT>>>>> It is happening to you now.... and it happened to me several years ago.... and I AM WRITING TO YOU>>>>> so we know...... I did live thru it..... IT IS DANG TUFF>>>> It is "OK TO CRY !!!!" But Country Girllllll: what a cool Mother you are.... you raised you little baby girl.... she toddled... she ran... she jumped... she fell sometimes......... YOU HELPED HER UP !!!!!!! You Taught her " S P E C I A L THINGS !!!!!' You Taught her " R I G H T from WWROOOONG !!!!" and You know what... YOU WERE THERE FOR HER T H E N>>>>>> and YOU are there for HER N O W !!!!!!! You have helped a little baby grow up and toddle and run and jump and fall and get back up and....... now..... YOUR DARLING DAUGHTER IS IN COLLEGE!!!!!!! G R E A T JOB ~~~~~ now.... guess what...... YOU ARE STILL HER MOTHER>>> YOU ARE STILL her M O M !!!! she'll be waving ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ and saying ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~" H I M O M !!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ and you'll be SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PROUD!!! and guess what else..... SHE WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR BABY AND SHE W I L L>>>>> Come BACK !!!! I'm praying for you Country Girl! I think so much of you.... I've been getting to Love your POSTS and Especially what YOU STAND FOR!!! I'm proud to KNOW YOU !!! I'm excited to here reports of the JOURNEY !!!! TAKE CARE!!! Remember ~~~~~~~~~~~~" HI MOM !!!!!!!!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ and smile and say..... " T H A T 's MY KID!!!!!!!" Love ya bunches! SusieSunShine...See MorePlease Critque Our "Empty Nester" Floor Plan
Comments (20)So what I'm hearing is that you're building for every contingency, you're building for your house's most busy moments -- so that if both kids AND a guest are present at the same time, everyone has a private room. Realistically, how often is all that space going to be needed AT ONE TIME? I suspect most of the time that space is going to be standing empty, yet you're going to have to pay for it and maintain it all the same. We're also planning for our retirement home, but our thoughts are different: We're planning a bedroom for ourselves plus two more. The first will contain a queen-sized bed and will be for guests OR one of our girls, if she's staying over. The second will be a "bunk room" for the grandchildren whom I hope will appear in future years; it'll also have space for toys and books. If we have BOTH girls over at the same time, some adults can sleep in the kids' bunks, and we can move the kids to the floor. And if push comes to shove, someone can sleep in the (air conditioned /heated) teardrop camper just steps outside. I don't know how your family stacks up, but I've slept at my mom's house only a dozen times or so since I was 18 -- and that includes when she was ill last year, and I went to take care of her. My husband's father is out of town, and we sleep at his house maybe twice a year. If one of them needed to come home for an extended stay, she could have one of those bedrooms . . . or, we're building a bonus room but don't plan to finish it /furnish it. Other possibilities that could help you consolidate while still being prepared: - Install a murphy bed in an office, so the room can do double duty. - Go with a day bed /trundle underneath in a den. When you pop up the trundle, it's a king-sized bed. - Build-in a twin-bed sized window seat in a hallway. It'll be a lovely feature most of the time and can be a bed in an pinch. I can see why the developer wants to go ahead and build all the houses NOW. It's more economical for him, then he can move on to another area. He'll never pay the plumbing crew, for example, for half a day's labor -- when they finish this house, they can go across the street and get straight to work. However, serious question: If you don't build now, what's the penalty? Does he fine you? Force you to sell the property? What's your time limit? I think typically in these situations you have 1-2 years. I would be concerned about the private roads /HOA is responsible for snow (I assume you're in a snowy climate?) thing. Some HOAs function well, while others . . . don't; and if your neighborhood is new, this group is an unproven entity. Thoughts on living in an "older community", whether it's officially a retirement community or not: I live in a kind of odd neighborhood. It was the first neighborhood built in this area, so our houses are mostly large ranches on 1-2 acre lots; there's definitely a 70s vibe: Monster-sized rooms, tiny closets, formal living and dining rooms in every house. More than half of the houses have never been re-sold (that is, MANY of the original owners are still in their houses), so LOTS of my neighbors are older and retired. It has made for an odd dynamic for my kids: They don't have lots of playmates within walking distance, Halloween has always been dead here, and with so few riders the school bus only stops ONCE in the dead-center of the neighborhood (which happens to be my house). I foresee that we're heading for a crisis: MANY of my neighbors are reaching the age that they won't be able to live alone much longer. Funeral signs aren't uncommon. More than a few of these large houses are inhabited by widows who live alone. Most of these neighbors can't maintain their large yards anymore, and the same guy comes and does most everyone's lawns on Wednesday-Thursday. I feel fairly sure that within the next decade, this neighborhood is going to clear out FAST . . . and this community of solid-but-currently-unfashionable all-brick ranches is completely surrounded by newer neighborhoods with newer, cheaper houses on 1/4 acre lots, with community pools and playgrounds -- and that style appeals to many people. I fear this is going to become a rental community, which will lower the value of the houses. Does that have anything to do with you? I don't know. My neighborhood may be an oddity; I do think it's rather odd that such a large percentage of these houses have never "turned over" in terms of ownership. But when you live in a place where the MAJORITY of the residents are senior citizens, it does change the feel of the place. If I had my druthers, I'd live in a more diverse community....See MorePlease Critique This Empty Nester Floor Plan
Comments (21)You mentioned the laundry room being across the house from the bedroom. I realize this is not ideal but we honestly most likely won't stay here when we're super elderly. Personally, I could live with the laundry on the other side of the house ... but I could not live with it on the other side of the house AND a pathway that forced me to weave through the bathroom as well. MrsPete, that's interesting that you're also planning an empty nester house. We're actually empty nesters in transition because one child is a freshman in college and will be home on breaks and summers and our oldest will graduate from college this May and will be living at home for at least a year What a coincidence -- we're at exactly the same place in life. We too have a college freshman and a May graduate, and since our oldest is engaged to be married a year after graduation, she plans to come home for that year -- though she plans to start house hunting during that year. The morning room is the dining area. I think that the trend is away from formal dining areas. I can't think of the last time I went to someone's house and ate in their dining room:) I use my dining room now about 4 or 5 times a year. Now, we do want to incorporate a small sitting area into the morning room with two upholstered chairs at the back windows. Does it look like we have enough room to do this? I don't think your morning room is big enough to support an eating area AND two upholstered chairs AND the only door to the back yard. I agree that many people are ditching the dining room, but quite a few people do want their one dining area to be large -- and your morning room isn't large. That's why I think it might be wise to set up your den so that a future buyer could see it as a dining room -- if they wanted that. I can't find it now, but will try when I get back. One of the architects on this board explained how hiring an architect will actually save you money in the long run. I believe it was Virgil but can't quite remember how he explained it. I agree that it's worthwhile IF you end up with a house plan that you like and that you can afford to build. I really, really, really wouldn't want a northern exposure for the back of my house, particularity if you are doing a covered porch, particularly if your lot is wooded. I agree. Light is important. BaseballMom, I suggest you test this for yourself: Buy a cheap compass and start noting the light in homes and businesses you visit. Note the way the light looks, the warmth of the light, and envision how it'd translate to your own house....See MoreTable for Two - Empty Nesters
Comments (27)LOL the wine glasses were in use about an hour earlier...thanks everyone! I love how the suggestions revolved around moving things instead of blowing out walls. I feel like we can “sit down” to dinner and it’s not much work to have it look nice. I actually meant to have the runner go lengthwise down the table, but my brain translated 6 feet to equal 60 inches and I bought a 72 inch runner. In this situation, I like the runner going across the width - it gives a little bit of a “table for two” feel to it....See Moreplllog
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3 years agonancyjane_gardener
3 years agowednesday morning
3 years agonancyjane_gardener
3 years agowednesday morning
3 years ago
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