Need to adjust to being an empty nester...
5 years ago
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Empty nesters downsizing
Comments (9)Well, I'm 39 yrs old. I'm not an empty nester (my DD is 3yrs old), and my parents still live in the same house I grew up in, but I still have something to say. First, your kids will be fine if you move from the "family home" Yeah, there will likely be talks about the memories, and some sadness, but it won't last very long. If you are sad and downsizing with a focus on what you're losing (ie memories & things), then that will reflect on your kids no matter what age they are. If you are downsizing and moving on a positive note, your kids will be happy for you and your changes in your life and lifestyle. My grandma ended up in a nursing home which she was not coming out of, and my grandpa had no choice but to sell the farm quick, move out & clean out grandma's stuff. He settled for a little house he could manage but really didn't want. The house was close to the nursing home and the right price, but otherwise it was nothing close to what he would have wanted if given the opportunity to downsize on their own terms and had time to shop around. That was sad for him and sad for the rest of us. Also, my dad had a stroke about 7 years ago. He's healthy & it was a complete shock something like that could have happened to him. It was questionable on his recovery (he has recovered, by the way). Anyway, my mom and I were talking about her possibly having to downsize depending on how the re-hab went. It was awful because of the awful circumstances. The memories. The sudden change in lifestyle not by choice. Ugh. My point is, if you want to downsize...do it because you want to. Do it when you're healthy and happy and have time to make choices and make the best of it. It's a positive thing for everyone...even your kids....See MoreI'm officially an empty nester now ) :
Comments (29)Lauren will do great, she is lucky that Alex went first and I'm sure picked up on some stuff. I was going to ask about Alex! That is sooo awesome he is doing a double major! Is he still also doing engineering?!?! Living & working outside this country will be great experience for him as you know. I wish I had had guidance going into college, thru out college and beyond. I am happy with how things worked out but sometimes I envy kids going into college now with all these opportunities ahead of them! Start finding time for yourself now and the things you have put off doing! ~ liz...See MoreEmpty Nester Dream Home
Comments (39)The column has the medicine cabinet built into it accessed by pushing in on the panel. On the toilet side of the column the bottom section holds TP storage inside accessed the same way. Completely hidden away but functional. Nice! Wish I (or my KD) had thought to put a storage area facing the toilet. Great idea. We’re building our “aging in place” home too. Yes, I did a great deal of caretaking for both of my grandparents, and they both had "toilet needs" as they got older. Storage near the toilet is a great idea -- and since everyone needs toilet paper storage, you can't go wrong with it. My biggest lesson learned is to go with what YOU love. Eh, I don't know. Essentially you're saying 'Build your home with your heart'. Some of the things I really like aren't necessarily smart. I think this concept works for some things, but not others....See MoreMinimum Sq. Footage for Empty Nester Retirees
Comments (161)It's so helpful to me to read about these experiences and learn more about these communities, so thank you for continuing to share. And for the HOA link, Maire Cate, because I have lived with HOA's, but they served more as insurance that a neighbor wouldn't paint their house neon pink or set up a trailer in their back yard. Kswl, I've watched parents and in-laws make living decisions later in life, and so far, I haven't seen examples I want to follow. My father was a hermit and insisted on living on his own, had a terrible fall, landed in the hospital, and essentially gave up and died in a skilled nursing facility when he realized he wasn't going to be able to live on his own again. It all happened within a span of a few months, and I can understand in his mind he was doing it on his own terms. But I wonder what his later years would have been like with more safety measures in his day-to-day living. Plenty were suggested, but he was stubborn and intensely paranoid. My in-laws have a large home on property which seems similar to what you left. A lot of land, a lot of house, and a lot to manage. The outside work kept my FIL active and busy in his early retirement, and he truly enjoyed it. Now, they're both around 80, and, after some terrible accidents that could have ended badly, he's finally realized he cannot much of it anymore. He hires out the work, and family helps when we can. But each time we visit, we notice more decline in the upkeep. Unfortunately, while their property is beautiful, they're a good 20 minutes from town. Most days, they spend sitting in recliners, watching TV and eating. Their health is suffering as a result of inactivity, poor eating habits, and low social engagement. I'd rather see them in a community like yours, which they could very well afford, but neither wants to leave. I remember "the call" about my dad's fall. I'm waiting for the call about my in-laws. All I can say to those of you considering your next step, as well as those of you have taken it--no matter what it is--is that you've given your adult children and/or loved ones a wonderful gift, and not just spare bedrooms. But reassurance that you're both in a positive, healthy and safe environment. Good lesson for me to remember, too....See More- 5 years ago
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