Just going to send you a hug...I know that ache. My Mom has been gone

for many years now, so I don't have that rawness still. Wish I had a magic

word for comfort..but not really sure there is one..expect we do care. And,

it will get easier...not better, but easier. Hugs..do something just because

for yourself today.

My Mother has been gone 6 years and I still miss her as much as I did when she passed. ((((Hugs))))

Morning Anne, I lost my beautiful mother several years back on Christmas Day. I stayed at her home in a small bed beside her the last week and half of her life. Did not leave her. She was with me when I came into the world and I was with her when she left for her heavenly home. She died at three in the morning Christmas Day. Mother had served her Lord all these years and we thought it wonderful she went home on His birthday. Mother had 95 wonderful years surrounded by loving family and friends. First Christmas after, it was such an empty feeling. I had a feeling I cannot explain. Guess I was missing her so much. Been several years back but we still talk about all the sweet memories of her. She never slowed in her years, driving, taking something to the “old folks”, no was was even close to her age. Annie, it’s going to be different, I try to always remember the joy she gave us. She was at every wedding, every college graduation, face beaming with joy. See if it helps when you reflect back to fun times with your Mother. I wish you peace during this time. I do miss my my sweet little “momma”.

My mother has been gone years now but the first year my heart actually ached. It does get better but never leaves. I cared for her for 10 years so the empty house was like a tomb. I have her picture in my bed room and often kiss it and tell her how much I miss her.

My mom has been gone for three years now--I can hardly believe it. I live in a different state than she did so perhaps that made it a little easier, over the years. But I still often have the urge to give her a call to chat or tell her something, and I don't think that will ever go away. In my case, my sister died a year and a half after my mom, so my two 'moms,' (sis was almost 7 years older than I,) disappeared relatively close together. Yes, it's been rough but at least I don't cry anymore. This ache is one I won't ever get over, but I have a strong faith and that helps.

'Untethered' is a good word to use, as that's how I felt after each death. It was very hard for me to come to grips with the loss of each one; I think that's why I enjoy older sitcoms and funny movies these days. They take me out of my sadness, when it hits. I am lucky in that I have two of my kids and their spouses living within and hour and a half of us, and a new (first!) grandchild to occupy my mind. I will always miss my mother especially, and look forward to seeing her again. I wish I had a magic solution for you, Annie. Though it sounds trite, staying busy, preferably with others around, really does help. Hopefully you will feel better when we can be social people again. In the meantime, if you feel overwhelmed by the sadness, find a grief group online because commiserating with others in the same boat is also helpful. Hang in there.

There's no replacing your Mom. You can feel orphaned at any age when your mother dies. It may be harder in some ways after you've shared decades.

Those of us who had loving mothers will always feel their absence, but the caring love that began for us at our birth will endure as long as *we* live and remember.

This will be the fifth Christmas without my mother. I miss her constantly. I try to focus on how she lived and make sure I am measuring up to her legacy, otherwise, I worry I would wallow in the sadness of not having her anymore.

The word you used to describe your feeling, untethered, absolutely describes what it was like for me in the first three years. It's an awful feeling.

My faith helps me get through this.

Think of what your mother would want for you right now. She would want you to be happy and at peace, filled with the warmth of her love for you. Focus on all the gifts she let behind inside you.

I'm sorry the loss of your mother feels so raw. My mom passed away 15 years ago. As the years go by, it gets easier to remember the love, without letting the hurt take over. My mantra when I'm missing her and the grief starts taking hold: Love never ends.

I lost my mom in 2011 (and my dad in 2016) and there are days it still feels so fresh. I can't say that it gets any better, just that I'm better at dealing with it. Christmas and my birthday still find me shedding a few tears, as does anytime my son (now 23) does something I know she would be proud of.

Mom and I were very close. I lost her 10 years ago, even though an adult, I feel a daughter will always miss her mom. Truthfully, as much as it hurt, and I still miss her, and I still want to ask her advice, and ask her if she remembers 'this' or ask her for a particular recipe, losing a mom, is nothing like losing a spouse. It's my second Christmas without my sweetie.

I'm not surprised your loss hurts so deeply! It is a huge loss. Some things we don't ever get over, some things we just accept as part of the difficult experience of loving and living.

Hugs to you and everyone else who has felt such depths of loss.

This will be my first Christmas without my mother. She is still living, but as of last winter she no longer knows who I am. The nice thing is, i get to tell her I am her daughter, and how lucky I am, every time we meet. And we can’t haul the folding tables and 8 chairs and hot trays and paper plates and battery candles to her suite this year, I am the only one who can visit. It’s such a grey area, and that makes me sad.

An echo of this loss will come every Christmas, but in time you will be able to feel loving affection at the memories rather than pain. How long? I can't say. We each find our way out of the pit of grief in our own way. Mine took years, too long, but I rather think I permitted a habit of grief to develop. Not the wisest idea. Our mothers would far rather we remembered them with love than with sorrow.

I wish you comfort and joy this holiday season.

Anne - I'm glad that you are able to have happy memories of your life with her and your family. In time those memories will hopefully replace the more recent sad memories of her passing.

Both of my parents succumbed to cancer years ago. Mom passed in 1990 when I was 27 and Dad 5 years later. I still think of them often but no longer with sadness. All of my siblings live about 500 miles away but we all try to get together at least once a year. When we do, we always make a point to talk about Mom and Dad and laugh together when each of us brings up our fondest memories.

I'm an only child, both parents are deceased and I have no children of my own.

What I try to do is remember the holidays in the past fondly. They were good times.

Moving forward, I've been making myself new traditions. It was working really well, until covid anyway. We used to treat ourselves to an exceptional dining experience on both Thanksgiving and Christmas by eating out at really good places. However since I don't have a death wish, that's out this year.

I understand what you're saying. It's a very hard thing under normal circumstances and add in this year's crap and it's a pretty sad state of affairs.

I lost my Mom 10 years ago and it was a long go and a lot of work to help heal myself after her loss. She was my best friend and no one made me laugh like she did. I still miss her terribly, but take comfort in knowing the love and friendship we shared is not available to all Moms & Daughters and am thankful we had ours for as long as we did. She couldn't stop from dying, but she did leave me with a lifetime of wonderful memories of the fun we had together.

Things I did that helped: I got involved with mindfulness based stress reduction and meditation which helps a lot. I, like zalco suggested, know that she'd only want me to be happy, not filled with grief, so I honor her memory by doing the best I can. What helped me too was to spend time "with" her. Mom was a big sewist and crafter. I ended up getting involved with a big project that, were she here, she'd have been all over with me. By doing it, I spent time with her, remembering all the things she did, the things she taught me and proud and happy that I could carry on in her stead.

Anne, sending you virtual hugs and thoughts of comfort and ease as you struggle with this difficult time.

Anne, I lost my mother 18 years ago, so I've had many more years to become accustomed to life without her. We had brought her with us to the U.S. to visit my brother's family for the Christmas holidays. She was only 70, and died of a sudden massive stroke, while we chatted about dinner plans, a few days after Christmas. I know that the pain of losing a beloved mother is the same, whether we lose them suddenly, like me, or slowly, from ill health.

Christmas was my mother's favourite time of year, so my happiest memories of her, are often of the Christmas seasons shared together. I have such vivid childhood memories of Christmas music playing in our house, decorating the shortbread cookies our mother had just baked, and all of us watching Christmas specials on T.V., as we strung popcorn to put on our tree.

The first 5 years or so after my mother's passing, just saddened me because she wasn't with us anymore, to celebrate anything. But then I guess I realized that being sad would have made my mother sad, so I made a conscious effort to dwell less on missing her, and more on how blessed I'd been to have her for 46 years.

I think you'll just naturally begin to feel a little less sad each year. Recent loss is like an aching wound, but time brings a respite to that, so that the pain lessens through the years, to become less intense. I'm wishing you some comfort at this time of year, through all the joyous memories that your mother left for you.

I have no advice. Just heartfelt condolences and hugs.

My mom died when I was 12. I was the middle daughter of 4 children. That first year, we managed to re create the wonderful holiday meals she made, which was a miracle because none of us had learned how to cook before she died. I still serve food that was part of my childhood Christmas or Thanksgiving. Mulled cider helped set the mood as the aroma filled the house for the whole day, and my kids love it now and serve it too. But holiday times are rich with those memories of my childhood celebrations and my mother.