Sending hugs your way. I know exactly how you feel. It's so hard to see all the cards and gifts on display in the stores and the media.

This will be the 4th Mother's Day since I lost my mother, and the 7th since I lost my only child (I buried him 3 days before Mother's Day in 2006).

I know what you're going thru Kathy. This is my first Mothers Day without my best friend, too. The "firsts" are hell.

I love what you said at the end, about never appreciating them until they are gone.....

Remembering that first year after my mother died, everything I did was a "first" time to do it without Mom in my life, so I do know how terribly you miss her. My mom has been gone 9 years now. I still miss sharing my life with her.

Kathy, just ignore all those ads for diamonds and roses! Make a plan to get through the next few days with a tolerable level of sadness. The important thing is the relationship you had with your dear mother, the memories you hold close to heart. Can you plan something for Mother's Day which will keep you busy and honor her? Cook her favorite food; visit a place she liked; if you garden, plant something in her memory, be with family or friends. Make a donation to a thrift shop she liked or to a charity she favored. Take flowers to her grave? I know it will be painful, but satisfying on another level.

Sending you hugs. I'm sorry for your loss.

I got really depressed the first Mother's Day after my mom passed. Sent flowers to her grave, that didn't help. I told my daughters I wanted to skip the day all together. Of course that didn't happen. My one year old granddaughter brought me a mothers day balloon. That did help. I took the balloon and with a felt marker wrote how much I missed her and hoped her and Dad were OK. Filled that balloon with all kinds of messages. Went to my outside deck and let it go. Watched it drift up and out of sight. That seemed to help me.

I don't have any advice, just sympathy. I still have my Mom, so I feel lucky. I know that it will be hard once she's gone, and I'm hoping you find the strength to get through the day. I'm very sorry for your loss.

25 years my Mom has been gone. I miss her.

Wanda, I can't imagine the pain of losing your son.
this is a sad month for you. (((((Wanda)))))

No advice, just hugs

I know how you feel....my mom passed away just 3 weeks ago. Cannot stand the thought of Mother's Day coming.
There is so much I want to share with her and just get so depressed knowing I never will be able too.

We can hold each other up though! Do you have kids that can help you through it??

No, I have no kids. That might help if I did have one or two, but hubby's family has emotional issues and mine is full of drunks and fatties so having a kid was not an option I wanted to chance..

She is in an urn at my sister's house - so no cemetery.
A special tribute would be nice though.

Juellie - be braced for the pain to hit when you least expect it and even when you know it will be a hard time.
You think you are going to "get over" it. Well I don't think you can, but you make a separate "room" for grief in your brain and live with it.

Thanks everyone. I will get through this...

Hugs, Kathy

I'm so sorry.

I think the main thing to concentrate on in any sad "first" is just getting through it.

I've found that obligating myself to do something helps (if I don't obligate myself, it's too easy to lie around in bed & mope, but if someone is depending on me, I'll get up & get rolling);
I volunteer for something that absorbs my attention,
that involves other people,
that takes all day or most of it, &
that produces some kind of positive results.

You might call around & sign up to serve lunch to hungry or homeless people & to clean up afterward.

You'll have to pay attention to what you're doing,
you'll have other people to help & to work with,
it'll take most of the day by the time clean-up is finished,
& you'll see the positive results in the smiles of your diners.

I wish you the best.

Kathy, maybe it would help to tell us a bit about your mom. (Sorry if you already have) Sometimes just talking about the person helps, and I'd love to hear about her. :)

My mom was so active and involved in so many different things. She was only 71 and her death was a shock.

At least I have 2 awesome sisters and a wonderful daughter to go through it with.
We had a vacation planned before my mom passed, we're leaving Saturday and I am not ready to have fun yet. :(
I'd rather let everyone else go and stay home and cry. But my sweet two year old granddaughter will make me smile and laugh....that will be the only thing getting me through this trip.
I'm sorry you're alone through this rotten journey. Email me if you ever need an ear! I'll be thinking of you!

kathy Honestly it is very hard not to be sad and we all have some sadness when it comes to our Mother's passing. But do this, honor your Mother on that day (and every day) by not being sad and feeling sorry for yourself, but by remembering the wonderful things that remind you of your Mother. Make every thought be a happy thought and a happy memory and you won't have time to be sad. There is no better way to honor your Mother's memory than to remember her with a smile on your face the way she would have wanted you to spend that day.

Do you have a friend of your mother, whom you can visit and recall some of the things about your mother or things from the past that might have involved her? Possibly you may hear of some of your mother's adventures (escapades?) that you weren't aware of, earlier. Something more to add to your list of memories about her.

On the other hand, another older friend/substitute that you can visit who may be lonely at times and who would appreciate a visit, and with whom you can discuss some of the events from the past that will help you recall matters close to your Mom.

(((((Kathy)))))

(((((Jasdip)))))

(((((Socks1 ... and counting)))))

(((((char2))))) ... (there's the 2 that I needed)

(((((Kat _ WA)))))

(((((juellie1962)))))

(((((SylviaTexas)))))

ole joyful

Kathy-my heart goes out to you. I lost my Mom years ago but I think of her all the time. This Mother's Day will not be a good one for me because on Sat it will be 5 months since my beautiful daughter died. Last Mother's Day was so special to both of us as we had not been able to spend that day together for 13 years. At least I got to spend one beautiful Mother's Day with her. Try to remember the special moments you had with your Mom. I hope there is someone you can talk to about your Mom.

Though my mom is still hanging in there I know it will be extremely painful when she does pass. I hope you can ignore all the marketing in the stores and on tv. Either stay home and have a good ol' bawl or head out of the house and be with people, whichever suits you best at this time. I'll say a little prayer for you and everyone else who is missing her/his mom right now.

My mother died decades ago. I was 12. It was hard getting through all the special holidays at first. I do think you have to be kind to yourself, and be a good parent to yourself. While recognizing that you will grieve the loss of your mother, don't dwell on it so much that you work yourself into a depression, and that is what I mean about being a good parent to yourself. Remember what your mother would have wanted for you and enjoy the special memories as you go through Mother's Day.

Juellie, Kath reminded me of something that set me off.
She mentioned that the pain will hit when you least expect it.

Bulk Barn regularly has coupons for $3 off when you spend $10. I'd often buy brown sugar, oatmeal etc for both Mom and I and take advantage of the coupon.

One time I was buying the things I needed and I was short on the $10 I needed. I ran and bought some yeast (even though I didn't need more) because it is expensive and would hopefully put me over the edge.

When I got in the car, it dawned on me why it was so much harder this time getting to the $10.
Because I wasn't buying brown sugar for Mom. That set me off.

Oh girl I so know how you all are feeling My mom been gone 3 months today .It is so so so hard I miss her so much.I keep thinking I need to check on her or take her left overs as I all ways did. Mothers day is so hard on me any way because I never had children .

embrace the holiday...have dinner at her fave place... buy a card for a mom that might not get one...plant something she would have liked...be motherly to a child or family memeber that might need it...

I'm so sad for those of you who don't have your moms here any more. All my best to you.

Jasdip - I know the feeling! Today some coupons came in the mail for a local yarn shop. Since I don't knit, I always gave them to my mom. Today, I just tossed them....sniff sniff....