For my son: ILYTM&TFS. (I love you the most, and that's for sure)

My 90 yo mom delights in telling me: "I love you the most, but you're my kid and I have to" Makes us both laugh every time!

Hmmmm.

Me and SO don't really have a secret spoken language or anything. We hug all the time for no reason. If we pass each other in the house anywhere we stop and hug. We hold hands all the time for no reason. And we do little things for each other unasked to show love. For example, he is very cold natured and hates being the least bit chilly. So I make sure that this time of year and all through the winter, I fill up 3 hot water bottles and put them under the covers on his side of the bed a few hours before he goes to bed,or on nights I work before I leave to go to work. He tells me the warmth reminds him that i love him. Things like that i guess.

When my kids were at university I would end emails with LuLu. I meant it to mean love you love you and really didn't realize the mistake. Now we even say Lulu at the end of phone calls. My daughter and I immortalized it last year in London with matching tattoos on our hips. Lulu sounds better than Lyly anyway..... " ILYTM&TFS" glad I didn't adopt this! I could barely stand four tiny letters etched into my skin.

LOL Gigi--Never thought of getting a tattoo of that! Our son would freak out--it would (almost) be worth it!

Harmony.

Not homogeneity of opinions, far from that, but no drama or disagreements can be used or allowed to fester between any of us in any direction for decisions or opinions that affect other family member(s). Differences have to be worked out and agreed, and left behind. You win some, you lose some, harmony is the objective.

They cannot leave without a mama hug and a "I love you". DH and daughter do a thumb thing, strange I know but kinda cute!

My grandfather would squeeze my hand four times for “Do you love me?” and I would answer with three squeezes for “Yes I do.”

It's not when we see each other, but rather how I sign my emails. Always a special way to my kids and my sister. That is one way they know it is me. In fact, a couple of weeks ago one of my DDIL's called me and asked why I didn't sign the usual way! Told her I probably just forgot.

These all made me smile.

And made me remember my grandmother who always said "Let me look at you!". She meant it. My great grandmother signed every card (we lived in California and she in Tennessee) Oceans of Love.

When my brother leaves for work in the morning at 6:00 am and I am up as he passes by me going out the door he gives me a tap on my forehead. Except for hugging my nieces and nephews, growing up there were never signs of affection like hugging or saying I love you in my family. So I take my brothers little tap as a sign of affection.

We loved holding hands. The first thing we did when we got out of the car was to meet up and grab hands, even if just walking into the grocery store.

He had much more body heat than me, his hands were always warm. The only time he wore gloves was when shoveling snow and even then it had to be very cold.

He'd grab my hand and often say "Geez your hand is cold, then promptly put it into his coat pocket! All the while hanging onto it. I always laughed out loud at this. It was the cutest thing.

My oldest DGD and I still have a thing. I always say goodbye to her by saying, ‘Be Particular’. Of course, I’ve said I love you, and say other things too, but usually the last thing is that. She waits for it still, and I put it at the end of letters I send to her at college.

DH and I have ’moments’ where we hug in the hallway or wherever, hold hands, or spoon in bed. He is always warm, and I always appreciate that warmth.

We always say "I love you" when we leave, end a message, send an email, whatever. It is the last thing we say after goodbye. In email or messages, we abbreviate it LY. It started after my cousin was killed by a drunk driver and my uncle told me that the last thing he and she said to one another was "I love you" and how that memory helped him. That was 40 years ago and I will always do it.

Not as sentimental as the comments above, but my family has certain phrases or words that only we know the meaning of. For example, is I say to my oldest "Mark Twain" she will know exactly what I mean and it has nothing to do with the author or literature.

DH and I have quite a few funny ones and again if you aren't in on it, it would make absolutely no sense to you.

When my family would meet him for a few days’ visit, DFIL would reach out his arms, take my cheeks in his hand, and say my nickname in his native Polish with a big smile, then we’d cheek-kiss three times. I just loved it! How I miss him.

When my kids are leaving me it's always a big hug (my sons are 6'4" so it's an all encompassing hug) and I always say "love you Sweetie". And on the phone it's a quick bye, love you.

when I was dating my wife before we were married, we had a code saying 1-4-3 ... the numbers represented the number of letters in 'I love you' ... with a response of 1-4-3-3: 'I love you too.'

My sister and I always end our conversations with a "love you". After burying our parents we both realize that life is short and you never know if you ever see each other again.

I have taught grandson to voice his affection. Sometimes he is better at it than other times. He is almost 9 and he has been pretty close to us all of his life.

I made a point to instill this in him because his other side of the family are folks who can jus simply get in the car or walk out the door and leave with no notice at all to anyone else, even if they live a ways away and have come far. They do not communicate. They are given to passing one another with no acknowledgment and can completely ignore the fact that anyone else is in the room. It is a struggle to guide him differently. It seems that some of this behavior may be genetic.

I am trying to teach him differently. Our side of the family are the ones with the loud and sociable Italian/Americans and they know how to make some noise and have some fun. HIs fathers family.............not too much. Actually, not at all. They are so darned boring and cold!

I grew up in a family that did not communicate much. I learned social interaction more as as adult. Beside, when you are in the midst of such a noisy bunch as my in laws are, you can't ignore it.

I can see him conflicted at times and feeling guilty when he reverts back to his other heritage of non communication. He knows that "Anma" expects better than that.

Dallasannie, you may want to consider buying your grandson books about etiquette to help him see that your way of behaving is the gold standard, and not just your issue. Manners Begin at Breakfast is a lovely book, for example. The gift of good manners instills an ease and grace in children that will serve them well forever. How lucky your grandson is to have you as a counterbalance.