I am a go inside person. Still/again do. For a bit, one could not go in at the bank.

I want people to know, who I am, and I like to know the teller.

Moni

No one says you have to get up close and personal with everyone you meet at the bank or grocery store. Personally, I love it when we walk into our little bank and they know us by name and I miss being able to spend a little time in the grocery store with a little smile and a good morning from a total stranger or bumping into someone you know and haven't seen in awhile. Now, it's mostly on line or in and out as fast as I can in the grocery store. I look forward to getting back to normal some day and having human contact again.

Sounds like the big city I used to live in and I haven't been here long enough to develop as many relationships. There were businesses that I'd know the employees for over 30 years. I learned that you treat all people as you want to be treated and that the "little" people in businesses can be the most important ones there. For example at work if a pipe bursts or there's an electrical problem in your office it's the maintenance and janitor that will clean up the mess, not the CEO or CFO. Be kind to them and they will return it with better service.

I'm from the south and friendly comes naturally to many of us. Going in a store isn't just for shopping, it can be a time to connect with others and develop those relationships.

I can do my banking, take out library books, get my gas, do my grocery shopping, buy new shoes, all without talking to a single person and there is something very sad about that.

I deliberately talk to the librarians, go through a real check out and go to the mall just to get out and stay in touch with the "real" world. You all can have the internet shopping world.

I live in a large city and my local librarian knows me, the check-out person at Shoppers Drug Store knows me, some of the cashiers at the grocery store know me and that's a good thing, I like to know that as an older woman I haven't completely disappeared.

Anyway off to BBandB. I need a new grater and turkey baster and yes, I could order them online but I like to see the people.

I

Lucille, I hear what you are saying, and no one should feel shamed.

I have a nephew on the spectrum and if it weren’t for the internet, his only communication would be with his parents who he still lives with and a handful of relatives.

That said, I used to work with the severely disabled population. It was in a group home and for us it was “get up, get in your wheelchair and we are heading out!” Even if on that day it was just to sit outside the building, they were then interacting with others and the goings on in the street.

So, while I believe that yes the internet is a god send for most, it has also taken away the drive to actually get out to be with real people. The lines gets blurry.

I love our online community here. But for me what makes it special is the potential to meet in person. I am lucky to have participated in two meetups.

When dealing with a retail or business person in whatever connection, whether in person or on the phone, I'm not looking to make a new friend. I buy things the most convenient way for me and am not looking for companionship in the encounters.

I'm ALWAYS friendly, polite and understanding about what may happen and I expect them to be the same plus competent in what they're doing. I never raise my voice and never get angry. When I feel that the person I'm dealing with is less than competent or unconvincing in what they're saying, I politely ask them to double-check or allow me to speak to someone else.

If I encounter someone new every time or the same person every time at a particular place, it's the same to me.

Thank you for posting that, Glenda. It made my day!! And touched my heart.

Elmer, I don't think it's that othesr think differently than you or vice versa. It is your somewhat condescending confrontative manner of presenting many of your comments that is off putting. Imagine you are a person who likes to be in control & also be right.....

If you're feuding with a person, and honestly want to end the feud, is pointing out that you're continuing to monitor the other person's 'faults' an effective way to end the squabbling? Probably not. That's all I'm going to say.

Eld6161, your input has been thoughtful and interesting. Thank you.

But that's not the point, Elmer. It's about your delivery. These forums are not about being right or wrong; they are about sharing, encouraging, and gently suggesting an alternative when needed or when asked for. That's what I react to...it's like you enjoy being argumentative. I just liked a comment of yours regarding IKEA kitchens, btw!!

Again, a thread turned into something other than what it was intended :-(

A GREAT MESSAGE!

Glenda it IS a great message, and you are terrific for reminding us that we should use every means at our disposal to make those people in our lives happier, and improve or strengthen our bonds with them.

I heard a description about the late Supreme Court justice Ginsburg, that she prized collegiality. You are like that too.

Again, a thread turned into something other than what it was intended :-(

glenda, I agree. That is why I deleted my post. I realized I would be just adding fuel to the fire.

I had spent an hour in the bank with my dad, as he had to transfer some money. I couldn't resist myself & asked...

''Dad, why don't we activate your internet banking?''

''Why would I do that?'' He asked...

''Well, then you wont have to spend an hour here for things like transfer.

You can even do your shopping online. Everything will be so easy!''

I was so excited about initiating him into the world of Net banking.

He asked ''If I do that, I wont have to step out of the house?

''Yes, yes''! I said. I told him how even grocery can be delivered at door now and how amazon delivers everything!

His answer left me tongue-tied.

He said ''Since I entered this bank today, I have met four of my friends, I have chatted a while with the staff who know me very well by now.

You know I am alone...this is the company that I need. I like to get ready and come to the bank. I have enough time, it is the physical touch that I crave.

Two years back I got sick, The store owner from whom I buy fruits, came to see me and sat by my bedside and cried.

When your Mom fell down few days back while on her morning walk. Our local grocer saw her and immediately got his car to rush her home as he knows where I live.

Would I have that 'human' touch if everything became online?

Why would I want everything delivered to me and force me to interact with just my computer?

I like to know the person that I'm dealing with and not just the 'seller'. It creates bonds of Relationships.

Does Amazon deliver all this as well?'''

Technology isn't life..

Spend time with people .. Not with devices.

Writer: Unknown

I wonder what Rod Serling would have to say about all of this.

I do like the original message, Glenda, & empathize too. Sorry if I got off track!!

Elmer seems like he is looking for a fight today.

Glenda, thank you for sharing. As I read it, what I immediately thought of was how often I have heard those same words spoken from senior groups I have worked with and also family members. I see both sides. I live in SF bay area, so not a small town. I generally frequent the same stores, usually in the morning and see familiar faces. I've come to know the ones that are there for more than just a shopping trip. I always make it a point to stop and chat with them for a couple of minutes.

Sad that people have forgotten how to interact, a "hello" or even a smile.

I take exception to the idea that people have forgotten how to interact. Some like myself simply do not want to. As I posted above I lived in a rural/small town atmosphere and it was stifling.

Matti5, yes it is sad people can't even manage a smile or a hello. Like it is beneath them to even acknowledge you.

Glenda, I too loved your story. There are super people persons that love the interaction with other people and people enjoy them. The people inbetween. Then there are the rude, the ignorant, the crass, the blowhards or the phonies that everyone trys to avoid. I think everyone knows or have known the types. The ones your happy to run into at the store and the ones you try hiding behind the stack of potato to avoid. Unfortunately the business man has to tolerate the third kind even though he/she feels like hiding behind the potatoes also.

Elmer J Fudd

A sentimental story but fictitious in all respects in today's world. I know no one who "goes to the bank". Very few people have "a grocer" or a fruit store owner who knows them. Maybe this is how life is in small, remote towns but most of us don't live in such places. Most of us live in more populous places and even in normal times, would not normally expect to run into anyone we know when shopping or doing errands. We might occasionally, but that's not social contact.

Yes, contact and relationships with other people and friends are essential for all of us. But it's not 1955 anymore. Such things happen in very different ways than what's described in this fictional tale.

~~~~

I'm sure you are right, in general. But I have to write to say that I live in one of the four largest cities in North America -- and that story rings true. I have many examples -- just one. My husband passed away five years ago. He had a favourite Falafel shop three blocks from home. I went in one day to pick up some carry out and the owner asked me "Where is your husband." I told him he had passed. He said, "You must tell me so we can pray him to heaven" -- he is Muslim. The afternoon before the funeral visitation I realised we would need to frame a photo of my husband for the visitors. There was one store in the neighbourhood that sold frames -- and it had just closed. I stood at the door, seeing the owner far back. I knocked. He came and let me in. I told him what I needed. He put the photo in a frame and refused to be paid. This is a busy city street in the middle of the city. I am happy writing this because it reminds me again how lucky I have been in my life. I saw a program yesterday. The guest, a Daoist was asked if he had a message to give. He said:

"We live in a good world. Daoism is about simplicity. We must be good in this good world. It's as simple as that."

I repeated this to a friend and she was a bit skeptical. It's OK. When I say it to myself I feel its truth and I feel good for that moment.

Just one more piece of evidence as to how this *19 is KILLING US! Sorry folks but the fear mongering needs to stop. WE need to get back to living our lives and what happens will happen. The good news is 99.4% of us will survive and those that don't will die HAPPY!

"what happens will happen"

That's much too risky of a behavior for me. I will not quietly accept dying when I can do things to prevent it. I also don't think that many in my age group, with underlying medical conditions, have odds of surviving at 99.4%. I don't think that is fear-mongering. The numbers for the elderly are not good. I intend to fight for my life like a 20 year old.

Certainly, you may do as you wish. but don't breathe on me.

Elizabeth, I agree. If one is going to leave one's house, strict distancing and masking are minimum precautions. Common sense precautions are not fear mongering.

and those that don't will die HAPPY!

I think even the stupid people who knowingly took no precautions and become fatally infected with Covid aren't happy that they are dying. They probably are not thrilled that many of them are leaving children without a parent, a spouse without a partner, etc. and those beloved family members that have to cope with the loss are doing so because the not-so-happily-dying person refused common sense precautions.

arcy_gw

Just one more piece of evidence as to how this *19 is KILLING US! Sorry folks but the fear mongering needs to stop. WE need to get back to living our lives and what happens will happen. The good news is 99.4% of us will survive and those that don't will die HAPPY!

~~~

I think it's thoughtless to present this so simply -- either/or. How about YOU get on with "living". Just don't endanger my health by not following scientific advice about masks and distancing.

Elizabeth

"what happens will happen"

. I intend to fight for my life like a 20 year old.

~~~~

Beautifully said, Elizabeth!

These stories get you thinking about people other than yourself. Maybe you're the same, maybe you're totally the opposite, maybe you're somewhere in the middle. People aren't all the same and it doesn't really matter. The good thing is you've spent a little time seeing the world through someone else's eyes, which makes it easier to connect or empathize with people who aren't necessarily just like you.

It's a nice story from the not-so-distant past, but it is 'the past' for many.

Long before the pandemic, people stopped being *available* for casual conversation. I wondered how anyone ever made a new friend when everyone in public was glued to his or her cell phone. Curvature of the spine was feared in *children* who were hunching over their devices. Young people -- and not so young -- were so addicted to the gossip on social media that they became suicidal if they were ignored, or worse, 'unfriended' -- by some anonymous person exaggerating his or her own perfect life, even photographing their *food*. Ye gods!

Grocery store clerks are paid to appear 'friendly'; it's part of the job. Polls show that customers choose stores on this basis. It's always been a marketing tool. It's probably even more important now, at least for people who remember a different kind society.

Living in a small MW county seat community of more than 5,000 pop ... I go to the bank at least twice weekly. I go to the grocery store and it is like Cheers ... everyone knows your name. Wouldn't trade that for anything.

I was among the first people to have/use an ATM card when they came out. No longer. I prefer to bank with people who know me. I cash my paycheck. I deposit/transfer money etc.

You can't talk to a plastic card and ask how little Johnny is doing ... well, you can but that's different.

Chisue it is not in the past. It is in the present. I'm at my home today in the greater Pittsburgh area. I just got home from the grocery store and yes I had a real conversation with the cashier. Not just the mandatory pleasantries. My husband knows everyone of their names and they know his.

We spend most of our time up north at our camp. If your having anyone to your home for service you better tack on 1/2 hour to 1 hour for conversation. We've had the cable lady, carpet cleaners, carpet stretcher, furniture delivery couple, the neighbor looking for his Houdini calfs and the previous owners all sitting down just for conversation after their reason for being there was done.

Try it, being friendly can be contagious. For the people that say they don't want any pleasant interactions then your the kind of people we are hiding behind the potatoes from.

I thought we were talking about people 'in public', not those coming to your home. We routinely visit with the various techs who come to our home.

I was raised to treat everyone in life with the same courtesy -- unless/until someone shows me they don't/won't be equally kind.

BTW, is 'hiding behind the potatoes' local to your part of Pennsylvania? I knew a gal in college who claimed that no one in her part of the state pronounced the 'b's' in 'probably. (It was 'prolly' just her unique sensitivity.)

Function, I am not a selfish person, nor am I telling you how to live your life. Not that I have to power to do so. I simply stated that I myself am following rules for distancing, masking and hand washing to protect myself from a very dangerous virus. If you choose not to, that is your own decision and the results are of your own making.

Glenda, at first I was shocked, and then amused. You really have to laugh at how far off track these posts get. A simple little post about life...NOT today's life at the moment, but life pre-pandemic, turns into an uncivilized brawl. For me, it's just indicative of how much the lockdown has affected everyone. They're all suffering from lack of socialization. That bank teller is starting to look really good about now. :-))))

This morning someone was blasting me for being a believer in mask and following health department rules. The phrase "Give me Liberty or Give me Death popped into my mind. I would probably only receive blank looks if I said or wrote Patrick Henry.

" it is not in the past. It is in the present."

I am not at all sure why some folks seem to think their experience is universal.....maybe the same sense of self importance that prevents them following common courtesy and public safety protocol by masking.

The story in the original post is very much in the past for a great many of us!! Do not presume to inflict your one-sided and highly suspect viewpoint on the rest of us and assume that what may be a normal occurrence to you is anywhere close to being normal for the rest of us!! I can assure you it is not!!

The lifestyle of communicating and developing relationships is both in my past and in my present. I don't let a little strip of fabric stuck on my face (otherwise known as a face bra or virtue signaling device) stop me from talking to others. Not communicating with others is a choice not a requirement from the government. Sure, I can't wait to get back to handshakes, hugging friends and hosting parties too, normal will return at some point.

"The story in the original post is very much in the past for a great many of us!!"

Yes indeed. And for many/most of us, it's the very, very distant past.

The ignorance on display is widespread and is the reason why the US has become the #1 country in the world for having an uncontrolled pandemic outbreak. We'll continue in that ignominious position until public health guidelines become mandatory and enforced.

Sherry, your post makes no sense. You think that someone having a friendly conversation in the checkout line at the store is out to kill you??? This summer I've been to plenty of restaurants and stores in another state and a few here and I didn't see any murders at any of them.

Raye Smith, don't be ridiculous. As a health care professional you should know that people can be asymptomatic and carry the virus. Those are the people Sherry is talking about. Those individuals who don't social distance, don't wear a mask or don't wear it properly. Those asymptomatic people could be spreading the virus and not even know it.

As a self proclaimed health professional, you should already know that.

She's not nor ever has been a "medical professional" as she's claimed a number of times.

On the rare occasion I go into a store, there is no conversation with cashiers anymore. They are usually wearing full face shields and a mask. Add to that the thick piece of Plexiglas between them and the customer, you can't really hear each other. I am now seeing that people do not even try.

I used to enjoy the little pleasantries at the check-out.

Of course anyone that has contracted the virus will be asymptomatic at first and a large number will stay that way. Can someone contract the virus from this person regardless of mask wearing, yes. Is that murder - absolutely not! If you have had the flu you probably passed it on to someone else and since people also die of the flu is that murder - absolutely not! If you have had a cold you probably passed it on to someone else and since people also die of colds is that murder - absolutely not!

They are also finding that mutations are occurring that allow the Covid virus to spread infection for even for mask wearers. https://www.foxnews.com/us/coronavirus-mutation-emerges-that-may-bypass-mask-wearing-hand-washing-protections

Glendas story is and has been my life for over 45 years....the computer age has left a good lot of us lonely. We still go to the bank, the pharmacy and the grocer....even with Covid out there-we still LIVE.

Glenda, I'm so sorry your nice post has turned into a mess. I keep expecting it to disappear like others have.

I did have conversations with check-out clerks, bank personnel, and other shoppers, etc. when I was out and about before the "virus", and before I became so disabled. It's something I really miss. I may not know their names, but most people here are friendly regardless of whether you know them well, or not.

Personally, I find it rather sad that people live without any interaction with those they come in contact with. It saddens me to know many of you don't know what it is like to be on a first name basis with your mail carrier, or bank teller, or the checkout person at the store. (Unless, of course, you want it that way.) But in my town, and all other towns I have lived it, people cared about each other. We smile and say hello whether we know them or not. It's not at all unusual to run into friends and acquaintances when out and about, shopping or taking care of business. And taking the time to have a short conversation with them.

True, the pandemic has changed this to some extent, it's harder now. The Internet is wonderful, and it makes a number of things much easier during this pandemic. I do think that it is important, for retirees and seniors, especially, to maintain 'real' contact with others if at all possible, not just a cyber relationship.

Thank you for posting the message, Glenda, it is a good one!

Rusty

"It's not at all unusual to run into friends and acquaintances when out
and about, shopping or taking care of business. And taking the time to
have a short conversation with them.:

Hopefully you understand that what's not unusual for you is indeed quite unusual for many others. We shop all over in our populated area, almost never run into anyone. Nor even the same store clerks repeatedly, not that it matters.

Everyone has personal chores and business to attend to and retirees aside, most people live busy lives with time that's accountable to others and so need to do the necessary tasks in as little time as possible. You're combining the Golden Rule approach all should follow of being friendly and civil to others, versus wanting to stop and have a conversation with people you encounter even though something else is on the agenda for that time slot. Sorry, if I'm pressed for time and run into a friend or acquaintance (which is rare), I'd say "Let me call you when I have a spare moment, I don't have time right now." If you want to have encounters with friends, schedule them if even a meet up in a park or to take a walk. Store clerks, I'm always friendly with but I don't need more friends.

Banking? Online takes the least amount of time and I closed the accounts at a bank with a physical location because both the people in the bank (manager included) and the people I needed to call to sort out issues were all morons. My online-only bank is awesome, never had better service and on the rare occasions when I call, the people are on the phone are intelligent and empowered. USAA, in case anyone is interested.

Most people run errands to get them done and move on to other things, not as a social interlude. Do what works for you but remember everyone lives in different circumstances.

What a sad state of affairs that working has become the be-all and end-all for so many. I think it's a pity you feel the need to schedule time for a short conversation. Enough said 🤪.

Who mentioned working? 🤪

I was in a Walmart, a Target, a western wear store, Lowes and a Corningware store yesterday. I had meaningful conversations with unrelated to their assistance with at least one person in every one of them. I know the door guy at Walmart by name and we always ask about each others well being and families etc. , a young woman associate at Target and I discussed the merits of different types hand wipes and how the county was over the top with the fearmongering and numbers game they are playing. A woman who forgot her mask in the parking lot as her husband drove off shared pleasantries the weather ,getting out and about after I told her she could probably get one at customer service. She did. In l Lowes I chatted about school and again covid fears ( people I meet are not in the fearful group). At the western store a young man and I got into horses and riding and how no one has designed the perfect footwear yet. First time I met someone in that place that actually rode. If I ignored his can I help you with a curt no thanks I would ahve missed out on that conversation. Of course we also touched on how this shutdown has hurt the equestrian industry. Nobody seems to care about dead horses either.

I'm not living a friendly life in the past. It's my present. Today I went riding. Our trio (myself and a young couple who have a toddler) and our fearless leader LOL, had a great time. Not as much time to chat today since we ride fast as a group, plus we enjoy the peacefulness of the slow parts, but afterwards we sat around a bit and talked some. All the young barn workers came up and inquired about my ride, my distance, and the saddle I had to use for the first time even though they were extremely busy. We are a "family".

I live in a county of almost 2 million. As of yesterday we have 134 people in the hospital that have "tested" positive for Covid. Not necessarily did they come to the hospital because they had covid but tested positive. You could have had an appendectomy and tested positive after and they would list one as a covid patient. The powers that be don't want to share the nuances between being hospitalized for the illness versus with the illness. Same for the ICU. 34 beds in a county of 2 million! No mention of their age or general health. Again co morbidities and why they were admitted are not shared. Yet people are freaking out that they will all die if they so much breath fresh air. It's unconscionable. It's politized beyond anything this country has ever experienced regarding public health.

This idea that friendliness is a small town thing is something only the small minded believe.