Thank you so much for all your suggestions. Sorry I haven't responded sooner, please don't think I'm ungrateful. I've been trying to research all of your wonderful suggestions. lavender lass: Yes, I'm in Spokane. Good deduction by the way. :) The alyssum did quite well and for the most part fit the bill perfectly. I'm just trying to minimize the amount of annuals I plant each year. Gardengal: Thank you for those suggestions, I really like the Saponaria Ocymoides, it is going on my definite maybe list. CMK: Also thank you very much, I'm adding the Origanum Rotundifolum 'Kent Beauty' to the above list. I really like this one too. Also looking at the thrifts that you all have mentioned and for a low growing perennial geranium. If I didn't thank you all individually, forgive me. I do appreciate Everyone's help. :=) Alexis

"Progress". Years ago, our area was the same. This development was built in the late 60's on the outskirts of town and even though it basically still is, the landscape is changing all the time. There was nothing but fields and forest around here years ago. Now there's one development further out than us and more going up here and there all over the place. In the process more land was taken on top of the land used to expand roads and highways. It's not so bad where we've lost some of our typical nature sounds like our robins, owls, cardinals, cicadas and so on, but the feel is different. They tore down an old factory by the river 8 or so years ago that was supposed to remain as a park area where we used to see plenty of ducks, gulls and geese but it didn't take long for them to commercialize it with a restaurant, some shops, the obligatory CVS and leave us not forget the primo riverfront townhouses and condos. What I can't get over are the bloody drugstores. I grew up in a town that had a Rexall downtown on the corner. (Must be getting old. Spell check told me Rexall is spelled wrong.) Now, it's like some huge pharmacy giant just walks through the country, squats, and drops a CVS or Walgreen's here, there or wherever. The other thing that gets me about that is, whenever one builds the other is sure to build somewhere nearby.

I agree with postponing the wedding until these issues are settled. I promise you, it CAN get better, and that is up to your fiancee, but also up to you as well. Once he has addressed the issues with her, you will see a very dramatic turnaround in the behaviour of the child. Don't make that your issue because it's not. Your BM is behaving this way because a) she is being allowed to, and b) she is getting something out of it - satisfaction, attention, drama, pity - she is getting whatever reaction she wants and she is feeding off it. And you know what - your fiancee is getting something out of it as well. You both just need to figure out what that is. If your fiancee says only call once a day and then he answers the phone and argues with her several times a day, then he is teaching her that she doesn't have to take him seriously and she can do whatever she wants, regardless of what he says. HE is giving her permission to do this! I don't see a problem with you being the primary caretaker if your fiancee is working - don't worry about that - but he needs to give you a LOT more support. This is not your child, and you are not a glorified unpaid babysitter and nanny. What I would suggest is to get yourself in a place of absolute calm - take some time out and go for a long walk, have a massage, go get yourself an iced coffee or something - and just BE. Just sit and relax and clear your head. Don't sit and worry and stress about the situation. Don't even let yourself think about it. Just relax. Then when you are feeling in a more relaxed frame of mind, sit down with him and have a talk. No shouting, accusing, crying - NO DRAMA - and discuss it calmly with him. I assure you, I know how difficult this is, especially when tensions are running high - but the benefits are enormous. One point you need to make clear to him, in a loving way, is that if you leave then it's expected that sometime in the future he will meet someone else, and if these particular issues are not resolved, then that woman, and every other woman after her, will leave the same way. The one thing I said to my DH, a long long time ago, when I faced VERY similar problems that you are dealing with, was this, "If you are not able or not willing to address the disruptive and destructive behaviour that you are allowing to continue, through your ex wife and into OUR family, then you will always be alone. No woman - not me, not any other woman with any self-respect - will put up with it. That is your choice." Actually, I told him that he would never EVER have sex again unless he paid for it :) But don't try that unless you both have a very wicked and evil sense of humour like we have - he took it the right way and it gave us both a chuckle :D I said this out of love, and in understanding for the very difficult position that he was in with an ex wife who behaved like your BM. And it IS difficult for the man as well, trying to keep two women happy, for different reasons. One more thing - start taking a more logical approach over this situation. Men don't respond well to emotion, and the last thing he will want is drama from his ex and then drama from you as well. Where is his peace? His place of safety and security and comfort? Once I stopped fighting with my DH over this issue, and instead gave him a soft place to land after her erratic and aggressive behaviour and attacks, and once I LET GO OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP and helped him build up the self-esteem that she was working so hard to rip to shreds every day, and gave him the strength to believe he COULD have a more peaceful life by being more assertive with her, he started seeing it for himself, and he started changing things. NOT because I wanted him to (and of course I did!), but because I told him that his actions with BM were hurting me and hurting our marriage and family deeply, and I was going to put my faith in him and trust in him to protect us from that and to take care of the situation so that OUR family and marriage could be peaceful, loving and safe. Today, I can promise you, our BM is not an issue in our lives in any way. No tantrums, no threats, no aggression, no phone calls, no 20 text messages a day, no 10 emails a day, no fighting, no drama, no problems. HE is the one who has to do this, but YOU are the one who can make that happen for him. All the best x

I have just watched growing your veg and felt that Carol Klein was getting just a little desperate in her use of superlatives to enthuse about peas and carrots. I admire Carol immensly and thought her coverage of Chelsea was the best I have seen in a long time but I think she should be given more freedom over content. Gardening is a fascinating and wonderful subject but TV coverage has worsened and worsened with the kind of dumbing down that does no favours to anyone. I would love to tune in to an intelligent and exciting gardening programme but it frankly doesn't exist at present. There is an audience for an intelligent and articulate programme that captures some of the magic we all experience when we produce a wonderful plant from a tiny seed or cutting, or dash out to the garden to see the first snowdrop or hellebore in spring. A programme that guides beginners but also appeals to the experienced amongst us. We also need to see more plant appeal and less emphasis on design that will seem old hat by next year. Come on TV and ask us what we would like to see. Monty Don is just a little too worthy, Alan Titchmarsh did better but I would still like to see new presenters who really know their stuff. Personal slating of individuals doesn't really help. If they had more say over content perhaps they would have more appeal to gardeners. What do you think?