I completely agree. Us amateurs all struggle with this. My best advice is to find a lot of inspiration photos. And not photos of houses completely unlike yours. Go on Zillow and look at listings of similar homes around you. Also, pick things you genuinely like, not what you think ”goes.” If you like everything separately, chances are you’ll like them together.

Is this a custom build or through a production builder? they should have designers who can help.

I encourage you to find an interior designer who doesn't impose their particular style/taste and will work with you and your existing furniture, rugs, etc. to achieve the look you want. A couple of hours of consultation will avoid at least as much expense in discarding things that don't go well together.

@Katie B. It's custom. My architect has helped give some advice on some of my selections - and some I agree with, some I don't. So trying to find appropriate fits for the parts I want different. Also some things she's suggested, and I liked, but were really more than I wanted to spend.

@Charles Ross Homes my current furniture consists of a comfy living room chair that is old enough to have several tears in it, an IKEA computer desk, a digital piano, and a dining room table I inherited with this house (previous owner left behind) that is way too big for the space I have in the new house. There's really nothing other than the digital piano and maybe IKEA desk that will be coming with me. So I basically have a blank slate.

Pinterest can help a ton! Organize stuff by room and then it’s easier to picture what it will all look like together. You can also use an app like Canva to make a design board, which is something designers do regularly.

Here‘s an example.

This is not something you learn from a book.

You need someone with years of design experience and good taste.

Find an architect or interior designer to work with you for a few hours. It will solve all your problems.

I think there is a way to learn most of the basic, general rules for this kind of stuff, but it usually takes a fair amount of time to accumulate the knowledge. That's not counting the time necessary to collect experience, or the skills/natural inclination needed to achieve results that require good visualization abilities.

Selecting things that share elements (material, color, finish, shape, lines) is one of the basics, but the nuances of how particular pieces work together can be tricky, and where things can clash pretty badly.

I really like the idea of creating mood boards -- pictures/collages of specific elements you like, placed adjacent to each other and overlapping -- so you can see if the bigger picture is a pleasing one. I have a hard time picking out *anything* house related (I just don't seem to be attracted to what is commercially available, much to my own frustration), and when I find stuff I like, it doesn't always look good together. I find myself compromising on a lot of design stuff, because I'm such a pain all by myself, lol, and I also refuse to discount my husband's preferences. :-)

I tend to modify things. A lot. For example, I finally found a light fixture for my dining table, after a years-long search, and I tore the thing apart to remove elements I didn't like. I simplified the design (my dad is a licensed electrician and supervised things, so no one has to worry, lol), and am looking to change out the glass light covers (they cast an amber glow I'm not crazy about). But I clearly visualized the potential in the light fixture before I bought it, imagining exactly how I'd change it. My engineering husband has a harder time visualizing things, and puts quite a bit of trust in me sometimes, lol.

@One Devoted Dame I know exactly what you mean about being attracted to stuff that's not commercially available! I have stuff I've seen on pinterest and spent HOURS looking for somewhere I could buy it, only to come up empty-handed. Or I get attracted to something that goes off the market. I really struggled to find a vanity I liked for the master bathroom, and FINALLY found one in January. Of course, now it's no longer for sale and I have to start from scratch.

I'll just keep working my way through pinterest, and tweaking my list. Maybe see if I can find an interior designer once businesses start re-opening. But not sure if that'll happen before I have to make some decisions.

"I don't need to . . . hire [an expert]"

Sounds to me like you do. For what you are looking for you will have to read 178 books, 4,506 websites, and 20,121 etc's. If you value your time and want the best results, hire an interior designer. Don't engineer it, hire a professional.

Really not looking for "the best results." Was just wondering about some of the basics. I don't need 178 books - a single book would be a step above no books, which is all I'm looking for. But thanks.

Pick the one that fits you:

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=interior+design+books&crid=1WK61RSYP2ZWH&sprefix=interior+design%2Caps%2C158&ref=nb_sb_ss_i_1_15

Houzz.com has many articles that they call 'stories'. Type in the search bar, and select stories.

You mentioned, "say I pick flooring" ....let's say flooring choice is first, cause of budget, or what family likes to clean / type "floor tile and choosing cabinet"

.. type 'how to decide on metal finishes' too - you might get this:

https://www.houzz.com/magazine/how-to-mix-metal-finishes-in-the-kitchen-stsetivw-vs~3222120

I agree that if you really feel out of your depth here, a few hours with an interior designer would probably be a wise investment. But ideally, as others have mentioned, do some homework first (saving pics to ideabooks) so you can help convey your likes and dislikes

FIRST

pinterest is your friend. create boards for each room of things you like. also, houzz google or pinterest 'whole home lighting' some folks will post ideas for whole houses...I made mood boards with powerpoint because it was easiest for me.

THEN

Pay for a couple hours of an interior designer's time. you will have your inspiration pics to easily show her your vibe and he/she can help you. I do strongly recommend this.

Tips:

Chrome is much cheaper than any other material for plumbing fixtures. So I'f you're feeling gold just know you will pay extra [which is fine if you plan for it]. You can mix metals but you need to have a strategy. You can search 'mixing metals' etc. to see pictures that you like to add to your idea boards.

Your house is a huge investment. So a few more hundred for expertise seems worth it.

If you have an architect, I'm surprised this isn't part of it as all the architects on this board talk about how the architect kind of pulls it all together, which I think would be so helpful.

You can get a lot of books to read about abdominal surgery or copyright law, but trying any of these actual tasks yourself, despite your additional new knowledge from books, is likely to be disasterous.

Just sayin'...

Are you a satisficer or maximizer? If you are a satisficer, you don't need anyone to tell you what to buy. If you like it, go for it. Good enough is all you need. You won't regret your decisions. However, if you are a maximizer, you need to research every decision and be assured by external experts that you made the right decision. As a maximizer, you will second-guess your decisions if further alternatives present themselves. Maximizers often regret their decisions because it must be the best decision for all time.

Listen to your gut feelings, don't worry about getting the very best all the time, and evaluate each outcome on its own merits, rather than against all other options, especially if there are many, many options and decisions to be made.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/science-choice/201506/satisficing-vs-maximizing

@Louise Smith in this case, definitely a satisficer. If water comes out my faucet, I don't much care which faucet I have. If my cabinets hold my pots and pans, I don't care what they look like. If my light allows me to see, I don't really care what the fixture is. Was just hoping to avoid at least some of the most major mistakes in matching things for those rare occasions when guests come over -- because if I don't care what my faucet looks like, and the prices of a couple different options are similar, then I might as well go with the one that "fits" the room a bit better.

I only have a few things that really matter to me as far as how they look - like in the kitchen I care about my countertops (mostly care about the material, but my material of choice has limited color options), and my range hood (because I found a really cool one that I love). Everything else I'd be happy to slap on the cheapest I can find that's functional -- but am trying to do a little bit better than that :)

Good for you. Too many posters here are so concerned with getting the perfect setting, the perfect cabinet, etc. I keep hoping that people will realize that the perfect house does not exist; we should satisfy ourselves and not agonize over superficial decisions.

@Virgil Carter Fine Art I'm not going to kill anyone if I get a mis-matched faucet, as I would if I performed incorrect abdominal surgery. In fact, even if I do everything completely wrong, absolutely no one is going to be hurt by it.

Millions of people buy and build houses in the US without hiring an interior decorator - not sure why my wanting to know a tiny bit of information is worse than all the people who do it with zero information. Not all of us need something beautiful and perfect.

If you followed ie Trish’s advice, the interior designer would be able to source items for you that are the look you like AND are items currently available (to avoid the whole fallin-in-love-wit-an-unavailable-item thing). Having a cohesive look from an expert doesn’t have to mean flashy or expensive, and it can mean you don’t have to think about redecorating to ‘fix’ things that aren’t working in the years to come

"...Millions of people buy and build houses in the US without hiring an interior decorator - not sure why my wanting to know a tiny bit of information is worse than all the people who do it with zero information..."

Yes, true. And there's nothing wrong with wanting information and self-learning.

That said, many folks involved in the design and construction of their house often say it was one of the most stressful periods in their life. Choice after choice, often without warning or time for research and consideration. Allowances are a major contributor to this stress.

Using an experienced professional for a few hours is one alternative to one of the most stressful periods in life.

Another approach, earlier in the process, is to have everything picked out and specified before construction, so that there are no allowances.

Good luck!

I keep hoping that people will realize that the perfect house does not exist; we should satisfy ourselves and not agonize over superficial decisions.

I'm so jealous of the folks who find "perfect" stuff that they really love, lol. My house is full of things that make me go, "Meh. It's okay, but it doesn't make my heart sing. I have this stuff 'cause I needed it at the time, and it's what was available." It feels a little like a waste of money -- to buy stuff I don't absolutely love -- but I can't find stuff I like, and at some point, it's just not practical to go sofa-less for several years with so many of us in the house. :-/ These things/objects are serviceable, but they're not *beautiful*, and I love Beautiful. :-)

I find that my favorite color is a huge road block, as well. Anyone know how to change a favorite color? My life would be much easier if I liked blue more than purple.

Contrary to common lore, not everything has to make your heart sing. Sometimes you just need functionality. A long time reading of these forums confirms the stress people feel to get the best house, the perfect refrigerator, the finest range, the greatest rug, etc. If what you purchase fulfills the needs you have at that time, that is a successful purchase. Really, just how much time should someone spend on picking a washing machine? Ratings are unreliable. On Houzz, all you get is anecdotal stories. I try to spend more time on experiences rather than researching things.

Contrary to common lore, not everything has to make your heart sing.

At this point, I'd be happy with 5% of my stuff making my heart sing, lol.

[I had this problem before GardenWeb... Indeed, before the internet, even. And I don't watch TV, so I'm not influenced by that, either. I'm just weird.]

You absolutely can learn to make great selections for your home. And have everything go together. You just need a time machine to start learning it about 8 years ago.

Absent that, the best you can do is to create a whole home mission statement, and then judge your selections against that statement. That’s your thesis. Each paragraph of your thesis is a room. Each room has a topic sentence. It has to support itself, and support the thesis.

You will make expensive mistakes. It’s unavoidable. You can’t learn enough in a short time to not make major mistakes. The dollar amount of the mistakes would likely pay for the expert help that you’re too stubborn to choose to have help you.

Do you have to learn how to build a car on an assembly line in order to enjoy driving it? If you only care about just a few things, then why are you wasting your time picking out all the things that you don’t care about? Why not have your 10 Things form the framework of design for the whole, and let the expert take those and create a whole out of your parts? Why make yourself miserable digging dandelions out of your grass when you hate lawns? Why not hire a lawn service, and never even have think about it again? Much less hand dig weeds?

Books that you’d need to digest.

https://www.contractorresource.com/fundamentals-of-lighting.html

https://ppi2pass.com/interior-construction-detailing-for-designers-architects-icd6p.html 

https://www.chegg.com/textbooks/foundations-of-interior-design-3rd-edition-9781501315909-1501315900?trackid=4bf53b642fcb&strackid=58414e2eb26a&ii=2&event=click_submit

https://www.contractorresource.com/time-saver-standards-for-interior-design-and-space-planning.html

https://www.secondsale.com/i/residential-interior-design-a-guide-to-planning-spaces/9781119013976

https://www.abebooks.com/servlet/BookDetailsPL?bi=30622621895&cm_sp=snippet--srp1--tile22&searchurl=kn%3Da%2Bpattern%2Blanguage%2Bchristopher%2Balexander%26sortby%3D17

https://www.contractorresource.com/the-measure-of-man-woman-human-factors-in-design.html

https://www.contractorresource.com/interior-design-materials-and-specifications/

And here’s Uncle Rico’s Time Machine .

hummingbird -- Many posters are advising you to hire a designer, which can be a great option. But very few of us actually do that for a variety of reasons. And we still have functioning, comfortable, attractive homes. You can too.

If you are hesitant choosing products and finishes, I suggest you do two things. 1. Stick with the style of your home. Don't put ornate, fussy fixtures in a mid-century modern house, and don't put sputnik fixtures in a Victorian. 2. Buy tried-and-true. Chrome fixtures have been around for a long time. Medium tone hardwood floors look good everywhere. Plain tile is timeless. Skip gray floors, aqua cabinets and brushed champagne faucets. Most product lines have items and finishes that they've been selling for years -- buy those. Avoid things that are on-trend. Opt for simplicity. Put your personality into art and accessories.

Take time to look at pictures of rooms that appeal to you, figure out what draws you to them, then get going. You can do this!

Stick with the style of your home. Don't put ornate, fussy fixtures in a mid-century modern house, and don't put sputnik fixtures in a Victorian.

Exactly this. This should apply to *everyone* regardless of whether they hire a designer or not. :-D

I picked our finishes without hiring an interior designer, and my house turned out beautifully. I did have an over all goal in mind of the house being neutral, calm and low maintenance. Figure out your goal, and sum it up in a couple of words or phrases. Since you've picked out your range hood and counter material, take those choices to the kitchen design company recommended by your builder. Explain your goal to the designer – they'll be happy to advise you. Once you've got your cabinets (and it's OK to use the same style in the bathrooms) selected, work with the people at your builder's recommended tile place. If you tell them your goal up front, and show them what you've selected for cabinets, they can show you tiles that 'work'. Same with plumbing, lighting, etc. The sales people at the show rooms are all happy to offer guidance. My tile person even helped us finalize paint colors when we had to select them before anything was installed. BTW, I'm an engineer, as is my husband (and my father, our daughter, both brothers and one brother-in-law!)