Funky, your dad will live on in so many ways. What a wonderful family he had, especially you...such a caring person/daughter. All those memories don’t die. I hope you find some peace Funky!

Thank you. Since he’s in assisted living I haven’t seen him in about 6 weeks. I hate this $?!)(@ virus.

I am so sorry, Funky. Thank you for your post. It is a lot to think about as we all think about what we would do in the same situation.

Funky, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your dear father. I am also grateful to hear how your family was able to be with him and gather to comfort one another despite the current situation. Wishing you peace as you experience this loss.

My dad has been in the hospital for the last three days and I’m afraid I am going to lose him before I’m able to see him again.

SueB, Not my business of course, but you may want to try insisting that you see him, with proper precautions, if you feel it is appropriate. I don't want to hijack this thread but I have many thoughts on this.

I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved father, Funky. Thinking of you and sending prayers for peace and comfort in the most trying of times..

Not a hijack at all, Mtn-- first, we're all friends here.. but also, I wanted to open up discussions of how to balance safety and human needs-- which includes seeing sick or dying parents, spouses, children.

And I wholly agree with Mtn.. I wasn't there at the time, it was my sister who challenged the hospital rules but in our case, it helped that we had the ICU charge nurse as our advocate.

Please accept my condolences, too, Funky. Thank you for sharing, and it's wonderful to read you have so much support through this difficult time.

Safety balanced against real human NEEDS I think is made individually and really depends on the level of threat in your community. Everyone says "that we know of" when we count heads of ill/dying. Still when you are talking three KNOWN cases in your county and NO DEATHS in these 6 weeks..good luck telling there is a risk out there that would out weigh my pushing to see a relative when dying. I sympathize with those that are still living in FEAR..that can't be easy but it is time to look around you, assess the THREAT your community is experiencing. Fear of death/illness is also valid. We need to accept the CHOICES of others!!! Sadly that's our BIGGEST scale in America.

So sorry to hear of the sudden loss of your Dad, but so happy to hear of the exceptions the hospital extended your way, to say your goodbyes together, as a family! My own father died alone, several years ago. He'd been sent for his surgery, to a hospital 2 hours away from where he lived, as they specialized in that field. Dad was recovering well, and was due to be released within 2 days.

Then my sister got a morning phone call, thinking Dad was going to be released a day earlier than expected. Shockingly, she was told he'd developed sepsis during the night, and they'd tried to get it under control, but things were not looking too good. Unfortunately, none of his 5 children (coming from 3 different cities) could get there in time. But at least we were together at the hospital, and could grieve the sudden loss of our father, together. I'm happy your hospital staff was able to recognize, that in times of sorrow, a little compassion goes a long way, for those involved.

Funky, I am so sorry for your loss. I'm so glad you were able to be with him and family.

Sue, I cannot imagine not being able to be with a family member who was ill. I do hope you will be able to see him.

RIP, FunkyDad. I'm glad the hospital was able to make exeptions for you. And our family would do the same thing, in a heartbeat. Our family is our #1 priority.

Funky, I am so sorry to hear about your father. It was so kind of the nurse to allow you and your family to spend time with him and say goodbye. That you and your family were able to have a celebration of his life on your porch, I would've done the same thing.

My father died on the 19th of covid19 and it is so heartbreaking to know that he died alone. He caught it in his assisted living facility. He was 89 with some health problems and on and off dementia. The doctor assured us that he was unaware/unconscious but still, at some point he must've wondered where we were. I'm just trying to keep in mind all of the wonderful happy memories I have of my father rather than focusing on the rest, but it's very difficult to get past the fact that we weren't there. Plus I am getting pissed -- I live in NYC and while most people are wearing masks, there are still some who are not. You cannot distance yourself by six feet when you pass someone on most NYC sidewalks. I'm sorry if I'm hijacking and going off on a tangent re masks. My father was also opinionated and could be stubborn, but he was also very fun to be around, so we can treasure those good memories. Take care, Funky.

I am so sorry, funky. I am glad you were able to find solace and comfort in the arms of your family. I hope your memories of happier times can provide you with comfort and maybe even a few smiles. Xo

Hugs to you Gail!

Gail, I am so very sorry for your loss and that you were not able to be with your father. I ache for you but I am so glad that you have wonderfully happy memories to cherish and comfort you. It sounds like our father's were very similar (my dad was born in Minneola and spent a lot of time in NYC in his youth!)

I share your outrage with people not wearing masks when in any public space-- in NYC and in my own community. The continued spread is due those not washing hands/wearing masks/following guidelines. I know it may sound hypocritical or "my rules for me and different rules for everyone else" -- yes, we lowered our guard with our own family on Saturday-- but even my dad's birthday party maintained 6ft social distance. We'll be isolating now as best we can while continuing to support my mom. Luckily all the arrangements can be made via phone and we have plenty of services to allow us to isolate and not have a need to go to the grocery or drug store.

Arcy, I understand your point and respect your perspective. I would very likely have been similarly unbending and judgmental before faced with the real live scenario of a family tragedy. Again the hospital DID allow "end of life" visits-- the only rule they broke was how many of us were allowed in the room at one time. The rest was on me and my family and we will now self-isolate.

So sorry for your loss. Sharing grief at such a time can be a blessing.

So sorry for your loss.

Without going into it I have to see my sister who is mentally disabled. We isolated for a month and then we started seeing her again as she slipped fast into depression. I wear a mask and gloves and hand wash and sanitize like crazy. I sympathize and empathize.

I also sincerely wish that everyone in your group would isolate for 2 weeks now. For your safety and everyone else's. That way if there is any problem you are not compounding it.

Funky—-I am so sorry for your loss. It was right to gather with family for physical grieving and consolation and so understanding and kind for the hospital to accommodate your family.

My friend goes to her parents, in their 90’s, several times a week. She brings takeout, has taken her mother to Target now and then. They take all the necessary precautions, wear masks, etc. She simply could not imagine leaving them isolated in their condo for weeks on end.

Gail—-your story is heartbreaking. Unfortunately it is all too common these days, and shouldn’t be. I’m so sorry you could not be with your father.

Sueb——I hope you will be able to see your father soon.

Gail, I'm so sorry about your father. If it is any small consolation at all, a dear friend is working with covid patients and has dealt with death, and to hear her describe it, the patients are cared for, prayed for, and are with another human being in the end. Her heart is breaking every day, and I know the grace she offers her patients is the same your father received. My thoughts are with you.

Thank you, Yeanassky, we are isolating-- I suspect you hadn't seen my response above when you posted. Despite appearances, none of us take covid-19 lightly.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Funky, thank you, and feathers, lpinkmountain and joanie. My father wasn't here in NYC, he was in Massachusetts. I would've done exactly as you and your family did. It sounds like you handled it perfectly. I was just venting as an aside about people out on the streets, not at all related to your or my situation. Hugs!

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you were able to be with him on his birthday and again to say goodbye. You will always remember and cherish those moments.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Funky, I am so very sorry to hear about your father. I wish you and your family healing from the loss, comfort from each other and peace from above.

Funky, how terrible, I am so sorry.

Funky, so sorry about your Dad. Sending you thoughts of comfort, condolence, strength, and patience as you face into your terrible and sudden loss.

Gail, I'm sorry about your Dad. Sending you thoughts of peace and ease and courage, as you cope with your loss.

Sueb, I'm sorry about your situation and hope that it becomes better soon for you, your Dad and all of us. We can't find a cure/treatment/vaccine for this horrid disease soon enough.

Gail, I too am so sorry for the loss of your father.

((((Funkyart)))) I am so sorry .

Prayers for you and your family Funky. May God grant you peace.

Funky and Gail, and Sue, your stories touched my heart.

gail & sueb, I'm sorry I missed your stories. My heart goes out to both of you.

Gals, I'm so sorry for all of the bad news about your father's. It is so sad to lose a parent or have one ill let alone at a time like this. Thinking of you all.

I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your Dad Funky. Thank you for sharing some of his story with us.

Gail: I'm sorry for the loss of your father. It's absolutely heartbreaking to see the losses in assisted living and nursing homes.

Sueb: Keeping your Dad in my prayers.

Gail, I'm so sorry for your loss.

Funky and Gail, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your fathers. I know many people with loved ones in facilities or in precarious health. It's a terrible time to lose someone (not that there is ever a good time, but this pandemic has made me realize that there are worse times). Funky, I'm glad you were able to spend time with your dad.

Gail, I am so sorry to hear of your father.

I found out today a professional colleague died of Covid-19. We collaborated on a project as part of a group and had many calls and emails in 2019. So, it’s a pretty sad day for all who knew him.

Oh, Funky, I am so sorry to hear such sad news. I wish you and your family comfort.

I am so sorry about your dad, Funky. Sending you a big virtual hug.

Gail, I am also sorry about your dad and that you weren’t able to be with him.

Sue, I hope your dad recovers and is out of the hospital quickly.

Funky, I am so so sorry for you and your family. Hugs to you. :(

There is so much heartbreak with every story. As horrible as it has been to have lost my dear father, I know I was blessed to have spent time with him before his accident-- and to have the time to say goodbye.

The restrictions around funerals are equally heartbreaking-- understandable but heartbreaking. Because my dad chose to donate his skin, bones and marrow, we had opted to cremate. But I spoke to the church today and my sister spoke to the cemetery and we cannot even think of a service before restrictions are loosened. 10 people doesn't even cover our immediate family. Thankfully the church lifted their restrictions on cremation in 2016 and they have promised a full funeral mass when we are at least able to gather in numbers to accommodate our family. Of course that means going through this again in a month-- or 3 months or however long we need to wait.

My best friend's Dad died in Nov. and they did a cremation but had a service six months later, very nice with a luncheon buffet and many people spoke and shared memories. It was still nice. And then the family gathered at the end of the summer to spread his ashes at a place near where he had served in the Navy. Grieving is a process, we didn't have a graveside service for my Mom until the summer since she died in Feb. and we could only just about get her buried in the single digit temps and snow. That was horrible too. The saddest thing is not having the closeness of family right now. Feel free to come here and share, many many of us have been there and know how hard it is. The best thing is to share their life's story. I actually turned my Mom's eulogy into a blog post. Wouldn't hurt to write one now just to get it out.

Thank you, Pink for reminding me that the most heartwarming, special service I have been to was also a delayed service. It was truly a celebration of life.

I have an amazing support network-- the kindness and love I have received here, from family and friends and (perhaps surprising to some) on FB has been so very comforting. My dad was very well known in the community and also in a large sports organization. He has touched so many and it helps to hear from them all.

I will share more about my dad at some point. Honestly, I am spinning a bit these days. I am still working in the early mornings and then spending the rest of the day helping to make arrangements, supporting my mom and preparing her for a move. It's a lot-- but I have a stream of so many great memories and as I look to my family, I see pieces of dad in all of us. That helps too.

Love to you all-- thank you so very much.

To my mind, grief is exhausting. Jewish people "sit shiva" where they just sit on cushions and people from the community come to the house and cook and take care of things for a week, so the grieving people can rest emotionally. Frankly for me it was more like three months before I could function very well. Luckily my boss was understanding, some things got a bit delayed but still happened, the deadlines weren't that critical. They got met, just a little slower. One day at a time.

(((Funky))) - virtual hug.

I’m so sorry for your loss Funky and I’m glad you have the family love and support one obviously needs during the time of loss. I lost my father to a severe head injury as well. (((Hugs)))

Pink, I had not thought of shiva in those terms before, but I think the Jewish traditions around mourning are quite nice. It seems to me that sitting shiva and then, a year later or so having the unveiling, separates the need to grieve from the need to honor and remember.

When Mom died, no way could I have taken a service at that time. Instead I waited until 7 months later when I had time to cope with my loss. When I did have the memorial, it was a very pleasant and upbeat get together where people shared the things they loved about her, full of laughter and remembrances, just as she would've wanted. The last thing Mom would've ever wanted was to be the source of someone's sadness or suffering.

I agree, Mtn.. and Annie, we did the same with my grandparents-- but the need/desire for a catholic funeral mass and burial require that we move forward as soon as covid restrictions are loosened. Both the mass and the burial would have been very important to my father... and while the catholic church does permit cremation now, it is only with the stipulation that the remains are buried on sacred ground.