For the body of the house I would go white. Just plain old B.M. White. It is great for an exterior color. Stain the deck white, as well to work wonders with the black railings.

In the winter, when decking may be slippery, find an outdoor runner in black.

Black will almost inevitably fade to gray anyway so you could choose the darkest gray available for the fascia. Alternately, if you choose a light or medium color for your siding, you could choose the darkest shade of that color for your fascia.

Would NOT want white exterior walls. Would consider a shade of gray or, since your home seems to be on a lot with/beside woods, consider a shade of green -- perhaps even a dark bold one or a muted sage.

Would NOT want a white deck; in fact, with the ipe/wood soffit (had to look that up)

https://www.google.com/search?q=ipe+soffit&tbm=isch&source=univ&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiYqL3SgevmAhVsUN8KHWqFBboQ7Al6BAgKEDc&biw=1366&bih=628#imgrc=3FL0UqITSkTBVM:&spf=1578177595765

Would stay with a clear or semi clear wood sealing product (such as CWF) or a darker wood stain. Remember that those trees near your deck will be shedding stuff onto your deck with each gust of wind in that direction. And you'll be walking on your deck.

(Note: If I could redo my solid color stain choice for my deck, I would. Every leaf or maple seed pod, etc., that lands on my wet deck or gets wet after it lands wants to leave a "tea" stain.)

Found CWF.

https://www.google.com/search?biw=1366&bih=628&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=KBURXq-yEKWg5wK78YfwAQ&q=Home+depo+wood+sealing+products+C&oq=Home+depo+wood+sealing+products+C&gs_l=img.3...2920.11512..11774...4.0..0.396.2820.37j3-1......0....1..gws-wiz-img.....0..0j0i67j0i10j0i8i30j0i10i24.IEIlcJGPfJg&ved=0ahUKEwiv5tbIguvmAhUl0FkKHbv4AR4Q4dUDCAY&uact=5#imgrc=7wr2mJ4B_v14bM:&spf=1578177846694

Solid color rugs show dirt more than a "multiple shades of black and gray" rug would.

In winter, rugs can hold moisture on your deck so if you add one as needed if/when your deck is 'slippery when wet', remember to hang it up to dry between uses. Getting one long enough to drape over the railing well and stay put would be a good idea.

Thanks you all for the great pieces of advice!

The main takeaway is I should start with the color of the exterior walls. The windows colors don't seem to raise to much concern...

I get the concerns about a white or light deck but what would be the main issue with a with white exterior walls ? Is there a risk they will be stained over time and this will be very visible ?

Being for or against a white exterior wall is a matter of personal preference so you should choose the color that you like. Perhaps groveraxle or Yardvark or one of the other Houzz pros can do a photo shop of different colors for you so you can get a better idea what each color might look like.

While I consider white exterior walls on some style homes very appealing, on these more modern style homes (to me at least), they tend to make the building look more commercial than residential.

Also, though any color can look dirty if it is, white exterior will certainly show any dirt blown against more than other colors until it is cleaned.