My scrapbooking friends envy me. My mother passed away about a year ago and I got about $2000 that I wanted to spend in some way to remember her. So I had custom cabinets made (desk height with drawer base units and upper wall cabinets) and changed a third bedroom into a scrapbooking and sewing room. One wall section is about 7 feet and I have it set up for scrapbooking and the other wall is about 5 feet and it is for sewing. I had the cabinets custom made because I am short and the only readymade cabinets I could find would have had to be kitchen counter height or vanity height and those wouldn't have been the full 2 feet deep. I'm already running out of space though, and I think it might have been wiser to get a utility type cabinet to store paper and and larger items in. The only bad thing is I seem to be addicted to scrapbooking and buying more. I guess I better get busy scrapbooking all those pictures mom had! I enjoyed seeing/hearing what areas other people had. I will try to get a picture of my area. Ruth in Iowa

SD25 is not upset because of what DH put in his divorce papers, she has no knowledge of what is in the divorce papers. That was not a topic of open conversation with DH and his kids, he is a pretty private person. SD25 is very difficult to be around. If you say something is black, then she argues that it is grey. She is asked to leave apartments about every 6 months. She moves about every 6 months, I am guessing because she cannot get along with her roommates. She tells us that there were "problems and she had to move". We keep hearing the same story. If she wants to move every 6 months, that is her business. But I don't feel that I have to be her storage unit. I sent a brief email asking her to begin to move her things into her own place. Instead of taking responsibility for her things, she found somewhere else to store the box of china and the rocking chair. Mind you, that she did not give thanks for the 4 years that I did store it, but rather anger, that I would no longer store it. I got my own place when I was 21, after I graduated from college. My parents insisted that I gradually start moving boxes of my things out after I had my own place, at age 21. They were my things, it was my responsibility to either go through them, and get rid of things, or move them out of my parent's way. She will be 26 soon, has a master's degree and a good job. When does she take responsibility for her own things? Maybe I should clarify about the china. There seems to be alot of undue focus on the china. It is difficult to get across an accurate picture of what is going on. She wasn't angry that she had to take the china anymore than she was angry that she was asked to start moving her other boxes. There was no particular special anger over the china. SD25 has always said that she wanted it. She has boxes of old Christmas ornaments, board games that she wants to keep, old blankets, etc. She has the same anger over being asked to start moving those things too. She feels that we should be her storage unit. Her reasoning is that since she moves every 6 months or so, she will have less to move. I don't understand why we have to codependently enable this behavior of hers. She needs to learn to get along with her roommates, and stop moving so much. It is her issue, not ours. Storing her stuff just makes this pattern of her easy to repeat. But that's not the real issue. The real issue is that she is almost 26 years old, and if she wants her things, she needs to make arrangements to get them. It has nothing to do with whether or not she is a step daughter, or a birth daughter. I'd be saying the same to my birth daughter if she had so much stuff still at home 8 years after she had moved out. My 21 year old daughter has 1 box here. I think 8 years after you leave home, is time to start taking things. It's as simple as that. Has NOTHING to do with whether they are step kid or birth kid!

I think this article is tongue-in-cheek and was not meant to be taken seriously or literally. OK, I'll cop to it, but I think a lot of parents did/do this. I had 3 kids in less than 4 years and I was usually more exhausted than they were at the end of the day. Occasionally, when they were too young to catch it, I would skip pages during the bedtime story to hurry things along and get more "me" time in the evenings. Maire-Cate.....would you believe until I was 7 (I was the youngest and had 3 older brothers) my parents didn't even put the tree up until we were all in bed Christmas Eve. They were up all night decorating the tree, putting bikes and toys together, setting up the train set, etc.....I don't know how they did it! Forgot to add....after opening presents, mom making breakfast, we'd all get dressed and go to Mass. Lunch and later on Christmas dinner.....no dishwashers in those days. Mom must have been up for two days straight....bless her heart!

Mtn, thank you so much for doing this topic. I've been wanting to get this off my chest to you all for years. Again, I thank Carrie Fisher who was an addict for a long time until she was diagnosed with BPD, and still adored world wide. I can't wait to watch "Bright Lights" tonight! HBO. This post may be long since I'm quoting. "These are all normal, upper-middle class, college educated folks whose lives are deeply affected by someone's addiction" Tell me about it! This is a recent story in my little town of Peyton Place, and while I hurt for the family, it's kind of a relief, KWIM? A very very VERY prominent family here have many children, all succesfull professionals, married to perfect spouses, with perfect kids, living in perfect homes and well, you get the gist. After DS went to prison, I was angry as hell, and jealous and envious of everybody. Particularly this family who live close to us. They are all nice people. I would get mad at God and ask Him why are they so blessed? Well, one of their adult kids, who is married and has children, and is a professional with a higher degree (I also called them perfect) was arrested for meth, at 30 years old. Both spouses were addicted to meth, and their children taken away. When I heard that, my jaw fell to the ground. They've been in and out of rehab, and may be on the road to recovery, everyone is hoping they make it. Perfect example of how drugs (Starting meth, at that age??) affect families of all classes. Learn from me, don't be fooled if you think the Joneses next door lead that perfect life. Addiction can begin at any age. Damn meth, it's everywhere in our state. Can we cuss? lol "I think that is why people like to blame families for substance issues. " I get so angry when I get on FB and those who walk on water post meme's about good parenting and if your kid screws up, it's YOUR fault. I call BS on that, and I have to sit on my fingers. Is it bad for me to wish karma on them, because sometimes I do. "I literally still have nightmares about my son being locked up. Nothing worse than your child being out of your hands-where you absolutely cannot protect them....I've suffered severe depression for years. I'm functional but barely some days. " Neetsie, the first couple of years after my son "left," (that's what I call it), I had the most beautiful recurring dream. The prison would let him come home every weekend, and he, DS1, and DH would all go fishing at the pond near our house, and in the dream I could see them from the kitchen window. I never had depression except for the normal bouts we all get, until he left. When DH was at work I cried off and on all day. I would go outside and scream at the top of my lungs. One benefit of living in the country. A couple of times I woke up during the night with tears on my cheeks. After a year my cheeks became chapped from crying. I finally told my doctor (my son got high for the first time with my doctor's son, who is now a doctor himself) and he gave me an anti-depressant. The tears stopped the next day, and I don't cry anymore unless it's at a commercial on TV, or I think about my late Gracie Girl who was with me during my darkest hours. A couple of years ago I tried explaining to someone here on GW that there IS such a thing as "situational depression" but I was blown off. Some people need anti-depressants!! Never ever tell someone they don't need them until you walk that mile in their shoes. Ever. Sorry, that's a pet peeve of mine. Do you take any AD's, Neetsie? They're not for everybody because sometimes they don't work. I'm not going off mine because I don't want to deal with the side effects of withdrawal. I tried once, dropping the dose by only a quarter, and one time I was alone cleaning the floors and I threw something, so I went back to the full dose. LOL "Instead we were handed an out of control 15 year old who also self medicated, and he got into steroid use-he is huge, an MMA fighter-and scary when he goes into his rages. He's been in and out of prison." I'm sure your stepson is an adult by now, but even so, in most states you can have them committed for a week or so and they can get help, with no charges against them. Have you talked to him about getting treatment for the mental illness? If so, it's like talking to a brick wall, huh? Enlightening topic, I don't feel alone anymore.