A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads “Talking Dog for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks in.

“So what have you done with your life?” he asks the dog.

“I’ve led a very full life,” says the dog. “I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home.”

The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog’s owner, “Why on Earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?”

The owner says, “Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that!”

Nice to see you back, Annie :) (And I loved Red Skelton.)

The apple people would probably be less than enthused about this dog, as they like to be first past the post, and they could only claim that this one is bringing up the rear.

The owners could claim that at least this apple was on top of it.

Or came out on top.

o j

I wonder if the dog's name is Mac...